The Truth about Introverts - Why I Love Being Alone | The Joys of Slow Living and Introversion

The truth about introverts is much deeper than what one sees on the outside. Identifying an introvert isn't simple. It's not in how quiet or shy they are, how soothing and calm their voice is, or whether they are socially awkward or not. But there's a lot more to introverts than meets the eye. And here's the truth about introverts. Someone who's an introvert can be extroverted in energy and still get their energy from a very different place. One can be an introvert and appear extroverted on the surface. The secret to knowing whether you're introverted or not is in noticing where and how you fill your cup. Where do you get your energy? How do you refuel? We all know that you can't pour from an empty cup. And as introverts, we feel restful after time spent in contemplation or alone in nature. What marks an introvert is their deep need to be alone. We recharge through solitary activities, through reflection. And what marks an introvert is their deep need to be alone. There is so much joy and fulfillment in having the time and space to ponder by oneself. As introverts, we also need far less stimulation than extroverts. And we prefer environments that are not overstimulating. This all circles back to and where we get it from. As an introvert myself, I too feel overwhelmed by groups of people, suffocated by too many sights or sounds. I've experienced panic attacks in super big cities, and I often feel drained and depleted of energy after spending too much time with other people's energy. I think a lot of people think that introverts are anti-people, that they don't like socializing or they don't like being around people. But that can't be farther from the truth. As a social introvert myself, I love socializing, but I need to do it in far smaller doses. Social introverts tend to be mislabeled. Seemingly extroverted on the outside, we often get mistaken as young souls, always on the lookout for excitement and novelty, new experiences, and interesting people. I'm a prime example of one. Naturally lively, chatty, and enthusiastic, I get excited over the smallest of things, and I can walk up to anyone and start a conversation without hesitation. But I think there's a lot more souls out there like us, wishing to be heard and desiring to be understood. I need time to peacefully reflect, in hobbies, in nature, in a journal. I can spend 70-90% of my day without seeing another fellow soul, and I rather enjoy it. I don't get lonely. Seeing my neighbors on my daily walks is enough socialization for me. And it's why I choose the work that I currently do, so I can spend my time in silence and work independently. This time to myself fuels my energy, to the point where I can give abundantly to others, socially and creatively. I enjoy spending the majority of my days in contemplation, creation, and meditation. And I think this is where it all comes down to. We judge others too hastily. Too quickly do we make assumptions and assume that we know everything about a person's innermost self, that we label them as one personality or another, and move on. Our minds are so eager to put labels on people, so eager to put people into categories. What if we went beyond these labels of identity? So lately, I've been trying something new. Instead of telling others that I'm a social introvert, as I would often say, I use the words I light up energetically by being alone. I'm grateful that my husband also obtains his energy by being alone. He understands my need for solitude and independence. My need to take one week to a month every year to go travel alone to some new place. These trips alone are often the highlight of my year. A time when I can become still and silent and reflect deeply on my life and what I have learned about it. Whether it was backpacking Europe for six weeks, or spending a month in Bali, he's always encouraged me to do the things that light my spirit up and give me fuel. Living slowly refuels my tank and gives me the energy that I need so that I can give more to other people. The joys and energy gained from being alone is essential for us, and that's okay, as is the desire for quiet reflection, time, and space to ponder. There are a few ways that we introverts can elevate to our highest selves, and so I thought I'd share them with you. One is through art, making art, being creative, through verbal expression, writing, or simply tinkering around with things. And when we give creativity time every day, we can embody our deepest thoughts in a creation. Lately I've been enjoying the process of jewelry making. Using my hands, I can bend, shape, and design pieces that speak to my creative heart. And even better, I can do it alone and in silence, in the quietness of my thoughts. Making jewelry, crafting things, baking, writing, cooking, are all activities that require presence of mind. One step at a time, they require patience and the art of being here now. And that stillness and silence is fuel for us. The second is nature. Sit by the water. Listen to the water as it trickles over stones, tumbles over rocks, glides over the shore. Take a bath. Breathe deeply in the shower. Place your palms on the bark. Place your hands in the soil. Become one with nature and your energy will replenish. Go for walks alone and process your day. The third is companionship. As introverts, it's natural to want to spend the vast majority of our days alone, and we often learn the most by contemplating by ourselves. Too easy is it to want to cancel plans with friends so we can cozy on up at home alone. But having companionship, whether it be through a partner, a friend, or even a furry feline, is vital for introverts. We don't need a lot of people, but we do need just one. Sharing your heart with one person can help give our lives purpose, meaning, and the depth that we so desire and crave. Raw authenticity and the exchange of mutual reciprocity is so valued for us. Finally, the ability to play. Laughing at ourselves, saying yes to new experiences, spontaneous adventures, when we'd much rather be alone, can help us see the big picture of our lives. We need to observe the macro just as we love to examine the micro. Remember how massive our galaxy is and see the world from a bird's eye perspective. These are just some of the ways that I explore the various aspects of being an introvert, a soul who naturally would opt to be alone than spend my time with others. It's easy to misunderstand social introverts for something that they're not, but I hope that these reflections give you comfort in knowing that there are so many social introverts out there that enjoy being alone, that aren't quiet or shy or socially awkward or anti-people. And please know that you are so not alone in being a social introvert.