When Should I Marry? (1957)

Well, well. How do you do, Pat? Now. Well, Dr. Hamilton, Jim and I want to get married. But our parents think we're too young. I'm 18 and Jim's 19. It's okay with our folks if we get married, sir. But they say we ought to wait a year or so. They suggested we come and talk to you about it. Oh, we've been going together for two years. We love each other. As far as we're concerned, we can't see any reason to wait. Well, tell me a little more about yourselves. Pat, you're 18, you said. Jim, you're 19. You've both finished high school, I suppose. Yes, I graduated last year and Jim graduated two years ago. And we're both working, sir. Between us, we have a pretty good income. We've even been able to save some money. Yeah, and I've been thinking of going back to school to take an engineering degree. It'd be tough going for a while, but in the long run, we'd know we'd be a lot better off. We have enough money saved to pay Jim's school expenses for at least the first year. And we can live on Pat's salary. And Jim could work summers to make some extra money. We're sure we could do it, Dr. Hamilton. You know, you're not the first couple that have come to me and asked, when's the best time to get married? I think the best way to answer that is to tell you about another couple whom I married and know quite well. Of course, everyone's situation is different. But Betty and Bert Matthews are in many ways like a little older, perhaps. But Bert decided that he wanted to go back to college. And this presented certain problems. Betty had finished two years of college and had been in love two or three times before. When she married Bert, he was 23. Bert had graduated from college two years before, but he decided he wanted to go back and get a law degree. Betty encouraged him to go ahead. And together, they planned to spend three more years at the university. Bert was able to get a small educational loan to help them. But for three years, they were mainly supported by Betty. She took an office job. Hi. I'm beat. The international law exam today was no joke. Oh, don't worry, you made it. I hope so. I didn't know I'd have to study all summer. It means no money for us. Bert, one of the girls at the office asked us to a party tomorrow night. Oh, wouldn't it be fun? It's ages since we've been anywhere and we can come home early. What do you say? Look, honey, I know you haven't been out for a long time, but these exams are tough for me. I've got to keep plugging. Wait till exams are over. Then we'll really blow. We'll go somewhere and dance. Well, I'll tell Babs tomorrow we can't go. But you knew we decided... Now, I've got something to apologize for. I felt so good when Babs asked me. I bought an Irish linen tablecloth with eight dinner napkins. I'm so sick and tired of that old plastic one. Eight napkins? When do you think we're going to have a banquet for eight people? And how much does it cost? Well, I got it on sale. It's $9.95. Ten bucks? Do you realize I've been saving up a quarter at a time to buy a textbook on civil law for $8, and you go and shoot ten bucks on a useless tablecloth? Maybe it's useless to you. You don't care what kind of a slum we live in. Well, I'm sick and tired of it. I'm glad I bought it. It'll be the one nice thing in this whole dump. Let's have dinner, shall we? Maybe I can get some studying done. Your usual help and cooperation. I suppose it's absolutely essential for you to hang wet, dripping clothes exactly over the spot where I happen to be studying. It happens to be essential because there's no other place. In fact, there's no place to put anything. And now that you're in the mood to complain, I'd like to ask you how in the world we ever got ourselves into this mess. For Pete's sake, Betty, I thought you were in this with me. Well, I am. Most of the time I'm glad we're doing this together. But sometimes everything spins the gang up. The stupid tablecloth, I guess it made me feel guilty. I've been sort of jumpy myself lately with all the studying and exams. Don't worry about the tablecloth. I'll tell you what. I'll pick up the wash and you make us some coffee. And we'll use the tablecloth. Gee, they sound like us. But golly, we'd still rather spend those years together. You know, Jim, you should at least consider the possibility that you might not be able to finish school. Oh, I don't mean that you wouldn't be able to handle the exams. But one of you might take sick. And then you'd need that money that you've been saving for school. You might have a baby. And then Pat wouldn't be able to work for a while. You mean having a wife might mean Jim couldn't go on with his education. Pat means more to me than anything. If something happened while I was at school and I had to quit, well, I'd quit, that's all. Well, then again, there are special problems in young marriages. When you're a little older, you'll have had more experience in living. And sometimes that extra experience makes the going a little easier. That's what my mother says. Let me tell you about another young couple. Helen and Hal were only 17 when I married them. Hal had finished high school, and then he joined the army for two years to get his military service out of the way. He asked Helen to marry him a week before he entered the army. Now, that suited Helen just fine. She and Hal had been going steady for a year. Now, I think she was tired of being the baby of the family with too many restrictions, she said. She thought that with Hal in the army, it would be a good time to get married. And I think that Hal was the kind of person who wanted to get away from family restrictions, too. Married life was pretty tough for Helen. She lived in a succession of strange towns moving around the country to be near Hal. Then the baby arrived, a year and a half after they were married. Huh? I'll bet I've picked it up a thousand times. I'll bet I have. Right after Hal was discharged, he got a job in a furniture factory. He was very talented in manual skills. Happy birthday, honey. What is all this? Well, it isn't every day you have a birthday, is it? And guess what? I made it myself. Well, it's wonderful. It's beautiful. Well, I'm afraid I couldn't afford to buy you a birthday present like last year. But then last year I didn't make you a cake. Maybe next year you can have both. The most beautiful birthday cake I ever had. Oh, I almost forgot. I've got another surprise. What? We're going to have a party. I've asked Al and Marilyn and Hank and Sally. They're coming over about 7.30 for dessert. We'll have the cake and some ice cream. Gee, that's swell. I haven't seen them since high school. Where'd you get the flowers, honey? Oh, I bought them. They cost a lot of money, honey. $3.50. But it's your birthday, isn't it? I borrowed $5 from the landlady. I don't think you should borrow money from the landlady, Helen. Oh, don't be so stuffy. We have to have some fun, don't we? And besides, we can pay her back next payday. Yeah, except rent's due next payday. It's always slim going that week. What about the baby? She'll be all right with the screen around her crib. I guess it's OK. Do me a favor. Stop worrying just for tonight. OK. How about some food? Oh, Hal, here they are. Hi. Come on in. Hey, look who we have. How are you? Hey. Oh, Helen. The baby. I have it, I have it. You must have a good job, boy. Isn't she the sweetest thing, darling? She's a darling. Where's your room, Helen? Well, she sleeps here with us. Of course, we hope to get a bigger place soon. Helen, you're so lucky to have such a lovely baby. It must be lots of fun to be a mother. In some ways. But it sure does tie you down. Now tell me, what's happened to you? We haven't seen anyone in ages. Good night, sweetie. Well, Sally and I have just finished our second year of college. We were downtown yesterday buying some new clothes. She's going to stay, too. Remember when we used to shop at the sales together, Helen? We used to find some of the cutest clothes. I always thought you were one of the best-dressed girls in school. Sure, I'm going to Southwestern. You know, I got into the Army in a way, too, Hal. I enrolled in the ROTC at college. I'll be a second Louis when I get out. I never got to be anything more than a PFC. He looks wonderful in his uniform, just the same. All the guys in the ROTC took two weeks camp duty this summer. It was great. I guess that kind of camp life could be pretty good. Oh, sure. The rest of the summer I worked at the service station here in town. I got myself a second-hand car with the money I made. Hey, is it nice to have a car of your own? Yeah, I guess so. Well, the four of us are driving down the beach tomorrow night for a picnic. Hey, why don't you two come with us, huh? Just like the old days. We haven't seen you for a long time. That's a terrific idea. Well, I don't think we can, Sally. There's the baby, you know. Why don't you get a babysitter? Do you know how much that costs? Oh, yes, I hadn't thought of that. Say, Al, what are you doing with yourself these days? Work all summer like Hank? Oh, no, I've been taking the electronic course at the Technical Institute. Runs all summer. It's a two-year course. How'd you get out of that draft? I got a student deferment and I got to keep my marks up to hang on to it. Oh, say, Hank, a cousin of mine graduated from the same electronics course two years ago. Started in right away at a pretty good salary. Getting married next month. He and his girl have even started here already. Hey, hey, that's what I need, boy. Come and get it. Here, baby. Need a mat? Yes, please. Turn it off, Hank. I forgot all about the baby. It's okay. She's going to go back to sleep in a few minutes. Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Al. I forgot all about the baby. I saw this new record here and I just put it on without thinking. Oh, don't worry about it. She'll be all right in a minute. Stand back, folks. Oh, good, very good. Happy birthday, Al. Happy birthday. How old are you now, anyway? 20. I'm beginning to feel old. My gosh, 20? With a wife and baby? You're really making progress fast. Come on and cut the cake, Al. I guess we'd better not sing happy birthday. The poor baby will really get upset. I don't know what to do with her anymore. I think I should feed her. That's what it's like to have a family, kids. You never know what's going to come next. I'll get the bottle and you see if you can quiet her a little. Your bottle will be ready soon. Helen, I think we'd better be going now. Oh, you don't have to go already. I think we should. Well, I guess I'd better go. I have to get up in the morning early. I told my mother I'd be getting home early, too. Well, I'm sorry it had to happen. That's right, but I'm afraid she just won't settle down until I feed her. Well, maybe next time I won't forget. We'll have to get together again soon, okay? Bye-bye. Bye, Helen. Bye. He didn't even touch the cake. I wonder how much Al will make after he takes that. He'll make marriage sound pretty tough, Dr. Hamilton. I certainly didn't mean to do that. Both these marriages have a lot to offer. You know, when young people come and ask me, should we get married now, I usually ask them a few questions first, like, have you known each other long enough to be sure that you are choosing the right person? Can you take on the responsibilities of a marriage, such as earning and saving money and managing a home? If you married now, would you be cutting off a career before you had a chance to get started on it? And there is another question, even more important than the others. Are you grown up enough to handle all the things that can happen in a marriage? I mean the ups and downs, the emotional upsets, the disappointments. Well, I think we are. I do too. Oh, Dr. Hamilton, we are ready to get married, aren't we? Well, nobody can tell you that, Pat. It all depends on what you want out of life. If you get married young, you may realize many dreams, satisfy some desires right away, perhaps. But it often means that you will have to sacrifice other satisfactions that may be even more important to you. You will have to figure it out for yourself. Only you can answer, when should I marry?