why my voice is weird

Hey guys, it's Stuffy and I've been getting a lot of comments, both positive and negative, about my voice. People say that I'm very quiet, that I sound like I'm on drugs, that my voice is very chill, monotone. A lot of people just think my voice is weird, so I thought I would take a minute and try to explain why I talk the way I do. I don't know why I even need to explain this, but I get so many comments about it, so anyways. When I was little, I didn't talk at all. I had what was called selective mutism, which is basically where I would only talk to a select few people, and those people were my mom and my best friend Katie, and I wouldn't say a word to anyone else. If somebody talked to me, I would just look at them and not say anything. I don't know why I was like this, but I was, and so I didn't really talk until fourth grade. That's when I started talking to all people and not just my mom and Katie. So I've always been really shy, so even just talking on YouTube is kind of, or it was kind of a lot for me. Now I'm getting used to it, so sometimes I stutter. Sometimes I'm not as good with my words as I'd like to be, but it's mostly just because I haven't practiced as much as most people. Most people have been talking their whole life, but I didn't really start talking until I was in fourth grade. And on top of that, I have cystic fibrosis. If you don't know what that is, it's a disease I was born with that mainly affects my lungs. So I have about 50% lung capacity right now. I'm 23 years old, so having cystic fibrosis makes it really hard for me to speak loudly. It's a lot of energy. It's a lot of effort just for me to speak up, and it's hard to explain to people that don't have the condition because most of you watching probably have close to 100% lung capacity. But if you could imagine having half that, it's very difficult to get your words out sometimes. So I try to speak up, but yeah, I'm quiet and I can't help it. A lot of people have also accused me of being on drugs, which I guess I could understand because my voice is very relaxed, kind of monotone. But no, I'm not on drugs. I haven't drank or smoked in a very long time. Sometimes I'll do mushrooms or I'll eat an edible, but 99% of the time I'm completely sober. I'm not on any sort of prescription drugs other than the occasional antibiotics when I get a lung infection. But yeah, I'm not on drugs, so stop accusing me. And a lot of people have been saying that my voice is very chill, which I guess is a compliment. I guess the reason I'm so chill is because my mom died when I was 11, and after that my dad was in a really bad place, and he would take a lot of his anger out on me. I don't want to get into details because I don't want to bash him, but he would flip out over the smallest things. He was so far from chill that it kind of, I guess, pushed me in the opposite direction and made me never want to be like that. And so over time I just became more and more relaxed to the point where nothing really bothers me, and I don't allow myself to get stressed out over much. I don't know if that makes sense, but I just don't let little things bother me anymore. I'm not making this to ask for a pity party or anything like that. I just want you guys to know that I'm human, and there's reasons that I am the way I am and talk the way I do. And a lot of people have said that they really like my voice, and I really appreciate that, but a lot of people have left some not nice comments about how I talk, and I just wanted to address that. Anyways, I hope you all have a lovely day. My laptop's broken, so I've had to borrow Jason's to edit my videos, so I'm trying my best to make more content for you guys. Sometimes it's difficult because we don't have very good Wi-Fi and I don't have a laptop. Thank you for watching. I hope this helps you understand more. If you still hate my voice, that's fine. Somebody said I should start an ASMR channel. Maybe. Okay, thank you for watching. Love you. Bye.