A Way to Understand All Negative Emotions & Psychological Blocks

I'm going to show you something I think is pretty cool. What if you could boil down every negative emotion, and there are so many, I'm going to talk about those in a sec, but what if you could boil them all down to basically three emotions, so three experiences, and that's what I'm going to show you here. So I want you to do the work with me here as I show you what I'm getting at, and to start off I'm going to show you a list of negative emotions, okay, so I want you to take a look at this list of negative emotions. So as you can see here, I have put a whole bunch of negative emotions there for you to look at, and really I've just jumbled them all up. There's no real rhyme or reason to why they're there, they're all just randomly spread out, and when you look at that, you know, it can become quite overwhelming. It's like, where are all these negative emotions coming from? I might be bored, I might feel humiliated, I might have panic, I might have constant worries, I might have a feeling that I'm separate, I'm hopeless, loneliness, guilt, so many emotions, and how do we start to make sense of all these? Is there a way to make sense of them all? Or at least understand them all in a simpler way? Because you could look at that list, you know, and you could think to yourself, well, you know, I have to work on my shame, I have to work on my regrets, I have to work on my anxiety, I have to work on my depression, and the fact that I feel so bored and lonely and pessimistic, all these different things. And that's a lot of work to do, everyone has to do all those things to go to work on each of these different emotions, right? So what I'm going to try and do is boil all of those emotions down to basically three. And I want you to follow along with me here. So that's pretty random, that's pretty difficult to deal with, right? There's no real system in terms of understanding it there. There's no way to conceptualize this except just a random list of emotions. So I'm going to show you another slide here. And this next one is beginning to take slightly, you know, it's coming more together a little bit, right? So I'm not spelling it out for you here, but I want you to see, is there a theme as these words kind of group together, is there a theme emerging for you? Can you see it yet? Okay. So if you look to the left of the page, to the right of the page, you may notice a difference. If you look in the center of the page, you may notice a theme forming. And I'm just doing it this way so that you can kind of see slowly, maybe something is emerging from this random list. This order seems to be coming to it here now. Okay. What if I did something else to that list and I added this to it? So now you can see more clearly that there's a whole bunch of emotions on the left, a whole bunch of emotions on the right. And there's a different bunch of emotions in the middle. Right. So now it's basically it's not seeming as maybe random as it did to begin with. We can see feelings of hopelessness, depression, powerlessness, grief, isolation, numbness, separation, disappointment on the left, among others. In the middle, we see guilt, inferiority, humiliation, jealousy, unworthiness, shame, regret, and embarrassment. Maybe you can see a theme there on that. And on the right, we have anxiety, self-conscious, I feel tense, I'm nervous, I feel threatened, frustrated or angry. Okay. Now, we're getting to something now with this. And there's basically three themes have been pulled out of all those seemingly random emotions. And what I'm showing you here now is those three themes and what they are. Basically, this concept I'm talking about here is sort of talking about a narrative that can be made from all human emotions or all negative human emotions. And to begin with, we have this feeling of being disconnected. That's kind of where the whole thing begins. Right. You could lump all those feelings of loneliness, overwhelmed, powerless, rejected, depressed, abandoned, despairing, doubt, hopeless. All of those could be put together under a heading of I feel disconnected. What do I feel disconnected from? I feel disconnected from other people. I feel disconnected from the world. I feel disconnected from myself and what it is that I actually want. I feel totally disconnected from who I used to be when I was a child, for instance. So we have this human experience that is showing up in all these various forms of emotion. That if we think about it, it's telling us a story of there's a disconnection having taken place. Where then do all these feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, humiliation, unworthiness come from? This is the next step in what you could call a metaphysical story of negative human emotion. And this is what I call anyway, it's the defective story. So not only do we feel disconnected from ourselves and the world and other people, but the mind goes into, well, if I'm disconnected, if I've been rejected, if I'm now alone, why am I alone? Well, it must be because there's something wrong with me. And again, this is where the guilt, shame, embarrassment, humiliation, all these feelings come from. There's something wrong with me. So this is a really, really deep one. The deepest of all is the feeling of disconnection. Then we have that guilt, which is closer to the surface. And much closer still to the surface is the last part. Because of the disconnection, because of that guilt, well, you know, what if people find out that there's something wrong with me? And now we go into the vulnerability story. So this is where all your anxiety, all your worries are going to be, all your panic, anger, blame. This sort of, the themes we're pulling out from this go deeper than analyzing the million and one various forms that all these emotions take place and the context in which they take place and the various things that they apply to. Anxiety might show up in your life in loads and loads of different ways, and that same feeling of anxiety shows up. So if we work backwards, we can find, well, okay, there's this vulnerability around that. Is it tied back to this defective story? Is that because of feeling disconnected? So having an understanding of these big three makes it a lot easier to work on processing emotion because you know kind of that there's a story and we need a kind of a story to bring an understanding to something. One thing that's well understood is that if we have a narrative around something, it'll make it a lot more easy to understand and work with. So you can call it the disconnection, defective, vulnerable story. That's the arc of the story here. Now of those three, you know, it's very difficult to do anything really with that, or directly at least, with that feeling of being disconnected. And closer to the surface, we have this feeling of vulnerability, right? It's where all our anxieties are. Now there is a lot you can do with anxiety. You can work because that's closer to the surface. The problem is if we only work on kind of managing the anxiety or the fear or that vulnerability we feel all the time and never go deeper with it, it's almost like we're just managing the fear and that vulnerability. Really what I'm saying here is the most central thing of all to work on is the defective story. It's that part that says there's something wrong with me. It's that guilt we take on because that disconnection can come from the past. It can come from trauma. It can come from childhood. But it's the taking in of guilt or shame around it is where our control is because that's where we can start to reverse things. We can start to turn things around. And as a result of that, we let go of that defective story. What we begin to see is there's much less fear. There's less guilt or shame. And also there's a much deeper feeling of connection starts to take place within yourself, with other people, with the world. It all kind of centers around that defective story and challenging that guilt narrative that we carry with us. We have all sorts of rationalizations, why we need to keep it and why we should carry it and why we deserve it. But that's all they really are, are rationalizations. It's really interesting. The disconnected feeling is very deep, but we can do something with this guilt. It's much closer to the surface. And the interesting thing, think about it this way. It's like cause and effect. The cause of all these emotions is really that disconnection. And the disconnection comes up and the effect is this guilt story, this defective narrative. So every cause has an effect. But what if you take away the effect, which is the guilt? Now, something that doesn't have an effect can't be a cause. So there's no cause for this. So it bodes away. So you can kind of reverse engineer this. Working on the defective story will make you feel more connected with yourself. It'll make you realize, I haven't lost anything. The person I was born as, the authentic personality I have, it's still there. And it was never gone. And all that needs now is the right environment to feel safe again. And it'll start to come out. So nothing is ever really lost with this, is what I'm talking about. So just to recap, maybe you can watch that video again. But I really just wanted to show you that there is a way to kind of understand the myriad of negative emotions we have. This is just one way to conceptualize it. It makes it a little bit simpler. But the big three are the disconnected feeling, the defective feeling, and the vulnerability feeling that we have. You could put them under those, they're big ones. You may have noticed there's some anger and there is some there's some things like frustration. Those things are in the vulnerability category and they come because anger really comes from fear. It's like if only a cornered animal starts to get angry. So it's coming from a place of fear. So you could say that that's another aspect to it. But really a lot of this is fear. You could conceptualize the whole thing as fear, to be honest. But the main thing is that defective story. And once we start to question this narrative that there's something wrong with me and we begin to silence that inner critic, we feel more peace, less fear. And we start to feel a deeper sense of connection again. I hope that was useful for you. And I hope you enjoyed the video and I'll talk to you in the next one. Bye for now.