How Childhood Trauma May Affect Your Love Choice

But you were so young when that happened. You hardly even remember it. How can it even affect your personality now? Saying things like these cannot undermine the fact that childhood trauma exists. And even if you don't exactly remember it, it still leaves an impact on you. The American Psychology Association defines trauma as an emotional response to terrible events, often resulting in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events. This type of trauma falls within the category of interpersonal trauma, which means trauma that happens between people and usually occurs in relationships with abuse, assault, neglect, violence, exploitation, or bullying. But what does it really mean? Can childhood trauma affect your life as an adult? The answer is yes. Research has shown that adverse childhood experiences are much more common than acknowledged and can have severe impacts on adult health, even 50 years later. International surveys show that childhood traumatic experiences are common across the world. These distressing events from early life can continue to shadow your later life as an adult. Here's how your childhood trauma affects your decisions as an adult. Number one, decision making. Have you ever wondered why you always seem to make the wrong choice? Are you still feeling stuck not knowing what to do while everyone else around you is smoothly sailing forward? Is this just you being bad at choosing what's best for your life? In truth, the reason might lie within your childhood. Research shows that those who suffered significant trauma at a young age cannot correctly consider risk as adults. Experiencing extreme stress during early development has been shown to cause changes in the frontal areas of the brain associated with learning, decision making, and memory. Causing interference with the formation of the connections and networks that support thinking and learning. A study with over 50 people around the age of 20 found that those who had experienced extreme stress as kids were hampered in their ability to make good decisions as grown-ups. The study involved adults engaging in gambling situations designed to assess their response to risk-taking, reward, and punishment. The results showed that the people who did not have stressful childhoods tended to pay attention to the clues and gamble wisely. Those who had suffered severe trauma did not. They would, for instance, choose the shape they had been warned against and make a mistake repeatedly. 2. Interaction with others in relationships. Loving is hard, but it can be even harder if you've suffered from distressing memories in your childhood. If you've experienced trauma during the first years of your life, then the odds are you might look at and experience adult relationships in a certain way. Perhaps you don't feel safe all the time, even when you're in a healthy relationship. Perhaps you hesitate to open your heart to anyone. If you're feeling this way or experiencing relationship challenges, know that you're not alone. In the United States, more than two-thirds of children have experienced some form of trauma, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. And there's a myriad of ways that childhood trauma could impact the way you experience adult relationships. In early childhood, secure attachment develops within loving, nurturing, and stable relationships, in which your emotional and practical needs are met, offering a kind of oasis in times of distress. However, when your early childhood experiences are marked by abuse or neglect, your ability to form such attachments is disrupted, resulting in attachment injury, trust issues, and even mental health conditions. Early attachment disruption can cause an internal attachment disorder later. This mirrors the emotional injuries experienced in early childhood. Hence, the only survival strategy left for you is to alienate from yourself as well as from others. Recovery begins when you learn to heal your hurt inner self. Self-compassion and acceptance are key to recovery. When life stressors evoke the fears and feelings caused by early childhood trauma, healing can come when you learn to hold close and nurture the part of yourself that is vulnerable and lacking in trust. It's important to remember that your past doesn't define who you are. Yes, it's a part of your life, but so is your present and your future. Healing can take a long time, but it's possible. Healing the harms and injuries of our childhood is one of the hardest things we can do, but it's necessary for us. If you want to get over the past, you have to start by acknowledging it one step at a time. Remember that you're not alone on this arduous journey. Several organizations can offer you help and support. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, counselor, or youth worker. If you found this video helpful, remember to share with anyone who may benefit from it. Looking forward to reading any thoughts or suggestions you might have as well in the comments down below. Thanks for watching. See you next time, Psych2Goers.