Betcha don't have this climbing gear

My butt is puckered so tight right now. Hi I'm Bobby. Hi I'm a dummy and I'm gonna do some human testing today for the first time on the drop tower using UFOs as my climbing protection. You use these where you can't use metal protection in the place of knots. Where is that? Czechia is one place, parts of Germany. And I think Switzerland as well as a spot. But this is a V-shaped piece of fabric with some climbing rubber on the outside and a wad of fabric that expands it. And it is kind of in between a a nut, a hex, and a cam. And they're called a UFO. This is the pull cord to help you remove it later and or place it. But it feels like a two-hand placement when I tried to place mine in the crack up there. And I'm not sure how that would work climbing but I was able to comfortably stand on my I-beam while placing it. I'm gonna go up there and convince you how safe I am and show you the backups we have. I'm going to connect this to me and we have a line scale three up there as well. And that's going to tell us the force while Bobby belays me that we get with human testing. With a human bag of water in a stretchy dynamic rope. And then when we're done we're going to break them. But I can't use a dynamic rope to do that. The dynamic rope would break first and or no I guess it wouldn't break first. Yeah it was just it's just too stretchy. Absorb all the force. And um so we're going to use static rope and 300 pound steel weights. But uh let's set a baseline to see if uh one these hold. I sure hope they do. And two what forces we get when somebody actually does whip. So I double wrapped a soft shackle to my hard points of my harness to align scale three to measure the force. And it's set to 1280 hertz which is way more than I need for this test. And then a figure eight on top of that. But it's important that it's not sticking up too high so it doesn't smack you in the face. This is our cam crusher device. We have upped the size to half inch all thread in order to get this to be more solid. And then supported the top here with a soft release to the top bolt which is backed up to the top bolt. I'm going to take a whipper on this chunk of fabric which is only attached to this climbing sling. Which is they say rated 15 kilonewtons. But slings like this are usually 22 kilonewtons. So we'll find out how strong it really is. If it comes out uh and backed up with this sling to these two bolts crisscrossed at the top. So it's around the same height as the bolts. If uh everything comes out and we have an apocalyptic anchor here going around this. And I'm trying to convince myself not you guys that this is safe right now. Two, one, for science! My butt is so tight. My heart is actually really good. 2.86 kilonewtons. You belay too loose man. You pulled me up. Did I really? Yeah. This is a lot higher than a climbing gym. That's a third of its rated strength. Which one? Oh oh the UFO. I forgot we're testing that. I'm just like worried about the drop tower as a whole. How much closer can I go to the ground? I wouldn't want to play with it too much. Three, two, one, science! Definitely 50% less scary than 2.6 kilonewtons. Yeah you had so much adrenaline the first time you couldn't feel the catch. Oh maybe I did. Maybe the adrenaline is what did it. They they hold him in a system that doesn't have a lot of stretch because there's not a lot of rope in the system and he's taking a pretty big fall. 5.22 is what we got. Yeah I mean that's safe enough for how dangerous this is. At Slacksmith made this for Bobby out of one of Bobby's old drill bits that he used to drill bolts and now it is a nut tool. Well no that's what the thing on the top is for. Try funking it out. They put a big handle on it for a reason. No I don't think I can get the funk. Here let me just clip the eye of your rubber mallet. Okay Goldilocks try again. Oh funked it out. That's the most successful funk I've ever seen. I love the fact it has climbing rubber on here. I think that's pretty cool and this of course is in good shape because it's protected by this piece and the sling is actually in good shape because it's also protected by that piece. I think these would last quite a while. Yeah. Unless they're here at the drop tower where we're about to drop 300 pounds on the same thing. Remember I'm an expert. I've done this once. You just place it around your bolt that you're climbing past. So if you pull on the sling it wants to pull on this top piece so you got to figure out how to get this wedge deep enough in. There we go. Super oh hold on. Super easy to do while I'm lie backing this thing. But is it easier than placing a knot? It's just easier not to place them. If you're going to free solo you might as well just free solo. I mean stay safe out there. Three two one. Oh it didn't break it. That's the problem with using climbing rope. That's 300 pounds. And that's not even climbing rope. I would never climb on that stuff. Static half inch rope still doesn't generate enough force. This is why we use span sets. Is that realistic? That's not what climbers use. What is that sling? All right factor two 300 pounds. This is the second test on this UFO. Oh it's so bad. Those bolts are now bent. Definitely some compression of the fabric there. We have added a span set to make it more static. Yes yes oh yes everything's yes. Let's capture the carnage down here. Oh dude like where's the line scale? Oh my god it ripped it out of the end of it. No is this the bad one? I don't know. Yes it is. Yes yes. All right I'm so happy I grabbed this one. This is the one I'm gonna break tomorrow. It's unreadable? No it's definitely readable. It's just ugly now. We had some failure there. You got it man. You got it. Send it. Nope not moving. Funk. I did it in one try man. It only had a quarter of the force on it though. You are my UFO. See I've never had any luck at funking stuff. We won't tell anybody except the internet. So I widened up this side of the crack and it just came out. So if you have a textile pro stuck in a crack you just need to make the crack wider. You know this piece of gear is still pretty good. We could resling it with something. Yeah indentations were the rock but I think that would reset probably. What do you think Larry? Would you whip on this? No I won't go up there. Keeps wanting me to jump off like a maniac but I'm not doing it. No way. Would you whip on it? I would absolutely whip on these. What about on a jiggly tower? This thing's fine. Got a crack that's much more parallel than constricting. Get some wedge action in there and then yeah so it's pushing out against both plates and there's still room for it to come down so I think that's going to hold. I'm so glad it bounced that way. Hey it ripped out your piece. It pulled it to the bottom of the V. Got some scrape marks on here. What would you rate your placement? B-. Yeah that's what you got. I am going to body weight this and bounce test this a little bit so you can see it wedging in there and I'm generating enough force to bounce the tower. I think I'm getting a solid kilonewton and a half. No don't fall on that side of the I-beam. You would not have a perfect descent. But I am going to say that is parallel-ish. We're going to do another body weight test before we try to yank it out. What? That was your line scale. Did it come out or did it break? Oh oh that's a cool result. You know breaking stuff's a lot of fun. Look at how much rubber is left behind. Well this line scale is just not very happy. Maybe we should just use the slow pull machine from now on. Oh gnarly. Where'd the rubber go? Oh it's up there. Oh that's kind of weird to see that just wiggle out of there. That rubber is completely delaminated on both sides. Oh nice. What is happening? Oh oh that sucks. Man this is... No! Why did it do that? Let's see what this little guy can do. It looks pretty small. You can see before I get this whole thing in here that just the core part is the width of the rock. Rocks don't separate anymore. All right let's see if that plate does any good. Oh it's like a big poop you're expecting and it just like slips out. Something interesting about this big one is you see how much of a mass there is here and there's only a little bit right there and there that it's going to expand. So relative to the size of a crack you're working with it only can be a little bit bigger before it doesn't work anymore. I've played with this crack quite a bit. I've played with this crack quite a bit. Yes! I don't have to reset it. It did squish but there's a lot of surface area for it to grab so that's a benefit of this one. I don't think I'm going to be pulling it out with this guy. I am curious how many people actually use UFOs. Please put in the comments if you do and it's kind of just fun breaking weird gear. Let me know if you like that. Please tell me how my rocket doctor is too flexible and wrong. We are working on another one and since cams are better you can get a shirt with it on there on hownottoswag.com or go to extremegear.org and buy literally anything other than UFOs. Thanks for watching. Hit that please. It helps. Huh. Wow! Pretty underwhelming. I just thought I was going to get a better result than that. Look a bouldering shoe. Oh it's the wrong way. I might work.