6 Signs You Have An Obsessive Love Style

What do you think of when you hear the word mania? According to a book written by sociologist John Allen Lee called Colors of Love, mania is a type of love that is described as a possessive or obsessive love that can lead to extreme jealousy and codependency. Mania is caused by an imbalance of love and insecurities by two people. But the good news is, even if you find yourself in one of these styles of love that Lee describes, you won't stay there forever. People ebb and flow in and out of these styles of love. Now let's explore six signs you might be experiencing obsessive love. Number one, lack of concentration and focus. Have you ever found yourself losing focus on your tasks because you're constantly thinking about your partner? This could be a sign that you are experiencing obsession. The person experiencing this type of love often concentrates all of their time and energy on that other person. They may feel lost without them, feel like part of them has been ripped apart, feel like they can't be themselves without them, and more. According to researchers in the field of sociology and psychology who have researched these types of love, these feelings could be related to codependency. Which brings us to number two, codependency. If your mood, happiness, and identity is defined by another person, then you could be in a codependent relationship, states an Everyday Health article about codependency. According to the article, if you find it difficult to make decisions in a relationship, identify your feelings, and communicate, perhaps you have fears of abandonment, a sense of responsibility for the actions of others, have an unhealthy dependence on relationships, poor self-esteem, and you value the approval of others over your own, then you're codependent. In a and the other partner revels in making the decisions for them. Codependency is part of the mania love dynamic. Number three, you don't feel good when you don't get attention from your partner. How do you feel when your partner is not interacting with you? Normal? Worried? Anxiety? Void? If you get extreme negative emotions that are related to attention, this may be a sign of These feelings can be manifested in wanting to talk or text with your partner all the time, getting sad, feeling desperate, or worried if they don't respond right away, thinking that they're ignoring you, don't love you anymore, or are avoiding you if a few hours or a day goes by without them answering you. You may also feel a void or emptiness when you know that you can't communicate with them anymore, like when they go to sleep. These are part of the emotions and according to J.A. Lee. Number four, extreme jealousy. Extreme jealousy can come in many forms, from just being insecure or becoming aggressive and getting physical. One of the things that extreme jealousy causes is the inability to relax due to the fact that you're often thinking about whether or not your partner is cheating on you. It can also create problems in the relationship like lack of trust, shouting, and abuse. Jealousy that is taken too far will sever and damage the relationship completely. According to an article on Verywellmind, unhealthy jealousy is rooted in fear of abandonment and a worry about not being truly loved. This is why the person acts out by aggressively questioning their partner, feeling paranoid, trying to control their partner, violating personal space and privacy, among others. If you're dealing with feelings of extreme jealousy and can't seem to solve them on your own, we advise that you contact a mental or relationship and marriage counselor near you. Number five, extreme possessiveness. Oftentimes, extreme jealousy leads to extreme possessiveness in an attempt to control and keep your partner close. Possessiveness can look like breaking the partner's boundaries, intruding in their personal space, trying to control who they see or talk to, trying to control how they dress, their outings, what they eat, breaking into their phone, blaming, guilt-tripping, manipulating them, not letting them go out without you, and more. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, states that acting possessive will work to cut ties with them. According to her, exercising power over your partner actually diminishes your own attraction to them. Possessiveness leads to lower relationship satisfaction and deteriorates it. In the end, if the behavior is not stopped, it will culminate at the end of the relationship and result in two wounded people. And number six, desperately needing your partner. Have you ever felt overly needy or desperate to be with your partner? It can feel like a constant grappling or different sensations on your chest that sometimes lead to panic attacks. Experts relate this mainly to abandonment and loss wounds that make you feel the need for your partner constantly, keeping them from going out to do simple errands, to needing them near you in order to fall asleep. People also do this to find a sense of value that they cannot find within themselves. They need to be valued by the other person in order to feel good about themselves. But demanding too much of your partner because of your need for them can leave both of you drained and strain your relationship. Did you relate to any of these? The best ways to avoid mania are to recognize obsessive or possessive behavior before acting it out. Learn how to focus on yourself and your goals more than on another person, and learn how to build and put trust in your relationships. It's always a good idea to reach out to a mental or relationship and marriage professional if you think you need help or suspect that something is harming your relationship, but you can't seem to fix it yourself or figure it out. If you found this video helpful, like and share it with friends that might find insight in this too. Remember to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more content. All the sources used are added in the description box below. Thanks for watching and see you next time.