we need to talk | how i've been feeling

It's a Sunday night. It's 5 p.m. I've got dance rehearsal tonight, and I'm going to try and upload this video tomorrow because I've got so much going through my mind right now and I really like to try and be as real with you guys as I possibly can while still like protecting myself and There's just been like so much going on right now in my life, and I've been posting a lot more videos It was just something I'm so excited about that. I've been able to post like three to four times a week It's something that was a big goal for me for 2018 because I love posting like literally when I upload a video It's like Christmas. I don't know recently you guys have been a little bit more Harsh on me lately, and that's okay like I feel it You know it happens, and I think just something I really want you guys to remember is I'm not perfect I am also a teenager. I am 19 that is still a teenager I might be a little bit more mature for my age some may say, but I still make mistakes and I Don't know. I just I feel like sometimes you guys forget that like I'm not this perfect person like I do things wrong Things happen bad in my life like life is great, and I try to see the best in everything But like I don't even know what I'm saying I used to make these videos called ramble with Danielle where I would literally just sit down and talk and I feel like I need to do that more And I think you guys have been really wanting me to do that So that's what I'm doing right now Like these videos don't get nearly as many views and like I literally don't care because these are my favorite videos to film because I love To talk I guess I want to start with sponsored videos you guys can get pretty upset at me when I Include you know product placement in my videos and stuff and I get it I follow a ton of influencers, too And when I see people post you know brand deals on my gulf like ha ha like I know it's not really like your favorite Thing ever and like I just want to be a hundred percent honest with you guys because like I know But you guys also need to remember the other side of things if you were in my shoes and a big company that you really Respect contacts you and wants to work with you. Are you gonna say no? No, you're not and if it's something that you think is really cool, and it's something you're willing to try I think that's so when I try to be as Honest with you guys as I possibly can and I guess you guys think I'm not being honest with you lately and like honestly Whatever, please just keep the comments positive. That's really all I ask you guys know who I am as a person I say I like to think that you guys know I have y'all's best interest in my head And I say no to brands that I don't want to include on my channel I do I say no a lot I literally said no the other day to a really cool big brand deal But it just didn't match with me at all it wouldn't have made sense I really do try to like balance it all out, but hey at the end of the day. I have this apartment I'm paying for it myself. I have a lot of travels coming up I want to be able to travel to do more meet and greets with you guys So yes, I do need money And I'm gonna do brand deals and it's really exciting and I just really hope that from now on you guys can be as supportive As you can with me, and if you can't you know unsubscribe it says that that's really hard for me to say But I love my damn fam, and I know my true DM fan members Love me and love this community, and it's just something I'm really passionate about you guys have also been asking me just like so many questions like you guys always comment like how's Joey? How's joy, and I'm like he's literally good We just faced him today, and then a lot of you guys have been saying I'm not me in my videos lately, and I'm like what I feel the most me I've ever been in such a long time like as soon as 2018 hit I've just been like really really happy, and I've been in my girl boss mode like there's a video I'm posting this week all about like how to be a girl boss, and that's the other thing oh my gosh I got destroyed in the comments of my girl boss morning routine video like half of them were like oh my god Yes, and then half of them were like why can't I just be a boss like why can't I and I'm like you can like You are a boss. I just really like the word girl boss like anyone can be a boss that video is for anybody I'm just really into the whole girl boss movement And just like I don't know the world the word girl boss makes me happy, and if it doesn't make you happy I'm so sorry, but it's just like I didn't intend for that video to be offensive or to come off the wrong way It was literally just like basically a productive morning routine and like how I wanted to accomplish my morning that day like I don't know I just you guys asked for more videos So I'm trying to make videos And I just really appreciate your guys's patience with me as I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with my channel You know and I realized like I'm not gonna make everyone happy like I know that Half of you guys want me to only post like college videos and only videos in my dorm And then half of you guys want me to post more fashion videos and travel videos and sit down talking videos So it's like so hard to balance it all and at the same time I want to make myself happy and like call me selfish But at the end of the day you have yourself, and I know this isn't for every influencer I know there's just been a lot of stuff in the media lately about other influencers But I hope you guys know like I really hope you guys know I'm gonna cry. I didn't mean to cry What I'm doing right now what I like everything I do is just so through my heart and like I literally just love what I do and I don't think every influencer could say that I know I've I Feel like not everyone in this industry right now is doing it for the right reasons And I I guess it just breaks my heart to think that you guys think I'm like that If you guys are new here, I've been uploading videos since like 2008 I had another channel before this, but this one I started in 2010 I literally started YouTube on my old white MacBook Pro webcam filming like music videos like the whole lip-syncing thing and then I went to do like makeup tutorials and my clears makeup palette and I was Purely doing it for fun like I did not know you could earn money from YouTube I didn't know you can make money from YouTube until I was like in middle school And then I would make like two hundred dollars here and there when I found out I could just make money for doing something I love I was like this is insane like my whole life I knew that I wasn't gonna do a standard job, and I didn't you know I'm not an office gal like I'm an office gal But I'm not a cubicle gal just for me like I'm just I'm always creative And I'm always just thinking ideas, and I'm gonna be moving and everything like that So this is like a really cool thing for me and getting to work with such big brands lately has just been so So cool for me, and I just really really ask that you guys Cherish that and celebrate with me and like maybe that's selfish of me to ask But I've just been like things have been going really well I like this sounds so annoying to say, but there's something really Really exciting in the works that could potentially happen this summer where I could hopefully meet a lot of you guys That's been like a really big dream of mine So just know I'm over here, and I'm listening to you guys, and I've been trying to DM a lot more of you guys I've been trying to respond to way more of your Instagram comments because Instagram is a big You know passionate of mine. I love taking pictures and engaging with you guys. I don't know I don't this video is really random I just like I was reading the comments on my video that I posted yesterday, and I felt sick to myself And yes, I know I messed up yes I know there could be better timing and things and I know That maybe I should say certain things and shouldn't say certain things that goes back to the whole I'm 19 And I still don't know what I'm doing with life like I I make mistakes, too But yeah, and then on the note of like I don't seem like myself I am chilling. I am in such a good mood these days and Like I think I made a video about last semester, but last semester was definitely hard for me Freshman year college was a lot more of a transition than I thought it would be I thought it would just be like yeah Instantly in college. I'm like thriving and yeah life is good, but no that that wasn't the situation I have lots of days of tears and questioning things and being really confused and now I have a way better sense of myself and like just this whole freshman year of college has Taught me so many things about myself and made me realize what my real true desires are however coming back this semester For my second semester in school. I had a little bit better of a friend group I you know I've been like making more grounds. I joined the dance team. I've been really Just kind of getting more used to everything and I definitely am really happy here now And I I feel a lot more like myself I just wasn't feeling like myself last semester It's just kind of crazy and that's why I've just been uploading way more videos because I just like This is who I am like this is I love engaging with you guys and talking to you guys about things so naturally I wanted To film more and my class schedule is amazing. I only have classes Tuesday Thursday So it definitely works out well in that aspect, and I haven't traveled as much this semester So I've had just a lot more downtime on the weekends to like be more creative and do fun things and film more videos So yeah, I know this video is kind of crazy and I just I guess I just got to sit here and believe and hope to my heart that you guys know me and I hope that I don't do anything to upset you guys And if I do like it's not my intention at all I love what I'm doing and I want to make videos that make you guys happy and make me happy at the same time So I'd love I'd love to find that common ground I I do try and film these college week in my life's because they are really fun And I love going back and editing them and even watching them because it kind of brings me back But then sometimes you know school does come first, and I noticed that when I'm filming college you bring life videos I'm worrying about that and like getting the clip rather than actually studying so it's just I'm just trying to find the balance of everything because I'm the type of person to want to do absolutely everything and This is not a new thing I've had this problem in high school, too And I I would definitely spread my butter too thin on my toast if you know what I mean hey My name is Danielle Marie Carolyn. I'm 19 years old There's an ambulance going off I want you guys to know I love you And I don't ever want to upset you or make you guys question me or my integrity because I'm just a girl living life and when exciting things happen I want to take up on them, and I hope you guys can understand So I love you guys oh so much like seriously so much And I just hope this video is coming off in a genuine way like it's I love it was just like facetiming Joey And I was like I gotta go. I gotta go film a video I gotta go talk to my people like really so I love you guys so much like so so so much and I really hope that you guys like the next few videos I have coming up and guess what I'm gonna do sponsored videos still there's gonna be some product placement And I hope you guys can understand that and just be happy for me, and you know take from it What you will I love you guys so much? Thanks so much for being a supporter and for watching this video if you made it through the end I really appreciate it because I really meant everything I said in this video, and I just don't want to hang up I don't want to hang up. I don't want to turn this off It's what I'm trying to say, but I'll talk to you guys so so soon Okay, bye guys