紐約，我的喜馬拉雅

My name is Juan Lara. I'm from Harlem, New York City. You're growing up in the city as a kid in high school you learn how to be disrespectful. If somebody insults you to forbear and say nothing you're perceived as weak, and a fool you don't have a spine, or anything. It was always my dream to go to the Himalayan Mountains. I guess that's why I always came here in Central Park because that's the closest mountain to my home. I don't feel bad that people perceive me as weak. I feel bad that they perceive doing the right thing as weak. So this is my clarinet which was my main instrument. I dabbled in saxophone but I started off with piano. That was my first instrument. So I did go to SUNY Purchase in a music conservatory to study classical music. But I had to stop after my second year to come back home and take care of my mom who had a very serious type of cancer (which) generated multiple tumors all over her body. 'cause I can always go back to school, but… can't get another mom. So… I would say most of my foundation in my childhood came from my mom and my grandma raising me. They were both really classic women and they never really yelled. She was a single mother, but she was very diligent. She was a sonographer. So she worked really hard. I think she was like one of the most devout people I saw because her faith in God was super strong. My grandma passed away in 2008 from lung cancer. And I believe because cancer must run in the women's side of my… mom's side of the family. So my mom also was battling with cancer for a while. The first thing she lost was her memory because there was starting to be a small tumor in her brain. When she lost her sight due to developing more tumors behind her eyes and in her brain the first thing she did was say that, you know it was a new experience, she'd never been blind before. And she kind of sounded excited and happy, like if you're trying a new sandwich that you never had. Can I get an avocado toast onions and salt, pepper, olive oil on white bread. She asked if I was going to be okay, before she passed away. And I told her, yes even knowing that life is going to be difficult, but I think that everybody should have closure. So she felt comfortable knowing that everything was gonna be okay. I remember one night before I had to go to work. She was hugging me, but I can tell she didn't really know who I was but she was still trying to be motherly even to a stranger. Two weeks before she passed I had a conversation about my father about you know, certain things I had questions about. The conversation was, basically about... there was a lot of stuff that I was angry about that I thought that a parent should do. So my dad, his name is also Juan. So I'm Juan Jr. He's a carpenter he lives in the Bronx I also have another brother and sister from him. Back then, when me and my sister were a lot younger we would go visit him every other weekend. I remember, when I was younger and my birthday parties we would always end up in an argument. You know, I'll be walking in the hallway, I'll pass him and I won't touch him but he was like, oh, you know, you have to say, excuse me I'm like, okay and then I'll just keep on going from there. Sometimes, I remember being in the car just being in the car would be stressful. But then I enlightened to the fact that maybe he's not the problem It's how I'm reacting to the environment is the problem. I feel like a lot of people were surprised if they met me because I like I'm I'm calm. But people think I'm calm until they meet my brother. People would trust me because I'm Juan's little sister. Because (he's) very trustable calm quiet dude who knows what he's doing. When I was growing up my hobby was always going to the library. So I started with comic books about superheroes and people with capes and flying, and all that stuff. In the comic books I was reading there were always like hidden temples in the Himalayan mountains that normal people couldn't see because it was hidden by, like a magical spell. So I always thought it was like hidden places the mountains where people learn how to cultivate and level up really fast. It was always my dream of going to the Himalayan Mountains. My goals really was just to learn how to meditate from a master I would want to learn how to control myself in a very peaceful manner. These two are Tibetan singing bowls. And they have a huge amount of importance to me because this is the first Tibetan singing bowl that my mom got for me. And this is the closest thing I can get to the Himalayan Mountains. When you hear it resonates then usually you just go around. The day I first saw two practitioners practicing Falun Dafa in the park I think it was August and it was like 2019. It was actually right over there, past the water. And I sat on the gate just watching them. And I was about to leave, but I was like, you know what, let me try. So I just asked one of them what the exercise was and if they could teach me or show me some of the moves. And from then on they just showed me one through five and I started practicing it. I was feeling a lot in my body especially around my forehead when I was doing the exercise and I was asking Wendy like is that supposed to be? She said, yes, you are doing good. So after we kept on, you know my body felt a lot better and I just kept on coming back. After a couple of weeks of doing it one of them let me borrow the Falun Gong book which is like the beginning book before you read Zhuan Falun. And when I started reading it it was interesting because I found it so simple. The difference between Falun Gong and Zhuan Falun from the other Buddhist books or spiritual books I read is that when they talk about very complicated concepts Falun Gong and Zhuan Falun they break it down really simple as if Master was in front of me and talking to me so I could really understand it. And the other books it was like they're trying to describe something but they never really got to what it was. They would describe you what a watermelon is but then Zhuan Falun Master would give you the watermelon. "The lives in this realm are different from those in all other realms of the universe. From here, the lives of other realms cannot be seen…" So there's a big difference between knowing how it looks like and you know, eating and tasting it. "It's worth pausing to consider what it means to be learning a practice. that truly takes you to "greater spiritual heights."..." My mom and my dad making these faces. We usually get most of the eyebrows in the family from my Dad's side. And my mom we got like the forehead and the cheekbones. I remember like sometimes there'll be conversations with my dad where he'll have his own opinions about what my mom could work on. Before I would get automatically mad because my mom passed away. But now that I'm a practitioner I kind of remember that, you know you always have to approach every situation with a compassionate and kind heart. And always think of how it's gonna affect the other person. So now when I listen and he talks still about my mom not always a negative way but maybe in a way I don't agree with then I always try to see his side of the story because, you know him and my mom were in a relationship. He was never a son to my mom. I'm my mom's son they were a husband and wife. So it's a different dynamic. So me trying to understand his point maybe could enlighten me to his side of the story as well. He feels a lot more safer to open up with me. He feels like I'm there to listen I'm very understanding. He says that I'm a little bit slow but once I get things I really catch on. Have you read some James Waldon? hum? Have you read James Waldon, stuff? James Waldon? Yep Are you just starting it? Yeah, I am kind of in it. It's kind of talking about being in like like growing up in the church, as like a 14 year old boy. He's talking about his story? Or a boy's story. But I think it's like… It represents him? He's evolved more from it, for sure. And we've had a lot of personal conversations that we haven't had before since She's still talking about like the universal language of love and how that's like communicated between people. And she can only talk to her experience… He's done it, and finding more like out about each other whether it comes to… just how we hold ourselves in our personal and public spaces How we deal with relationships of any kind familial, platonic or romantic And yeah, I feel like we've had an easier time going deeper into those conversations This book can… This what book? The theory of humming. Ah. Ah. After I read the book, Zhuan Falun it gave me more encouragement to be more tolerant, be more truthful and forbear more. So it gave me more encouragement to be more humble. One more time One I feel like you basically taking all your attachments and trauma in your life you're digging all that up and it's gonna be really hard. Oh Jesus But once you do and get rid of it in a genuine way, like once I really accept certain things or get rid of my resentment I will genuinely feel okay It is okay. 3 and 4 and… It's not like a light thing of just oh, I just feel better I'm just being more positive because I feel like that's very superficial. You really have to go deep in yourself and get those things that stay there and and cause you to be nasty or be mean or you know, be greedy So once I really start being honest with myself which is part of truthfulness or Zhen then I can really genuinely make some improvement.