Hiking With My Parasocial Friends in New Zealand

Well, I turned 30 in October and I remember when I thought, yeah, by 30 I'll have it all figured out. I'll know what the rest of my life is going to look like. By 30 I'll be so old but at least, you know, I'll have stability. Turns out none of that was true. One thing I do know is that the older you get, the harder it is to make new friends. And as I collected water from the hut's tank supply, I couldn't help but think how water is life. Life is all about friendship with nature. I can't do the New Zealand accent though. When empathy for the Kiwi flight path is earned, I fight the strong New Zealand urge to be the over eager countryman and travel pies and one million hike suggestions down the American traveler's throat. I do not prevail. Let's go Frodo. On the Pacific Crest Trail in 2019, I saw a hiker completely dressed in black. He skulked along the trail, camera in hand, shotgun mic mounted. He was no Thriker. Turns out he was Craig Adams. And when a drone delivered algorithm sent to me, Rene, I knew. I love inhaling sand flies. Oh my gosh, I was not expecting that. And that's all it takes sometimes. A message, an idea, an extended edition trilogy plus director's commentary length flight to all be here in my home of Aotearoa, New Zealand. It's day four of us being together and we're talking about everything. We've been together for four days now, two days on trail. Look at how I've tanned already. Welcome to the land of no ozone. The longer we're out here, the deeper the conversations. Big cut indeed. That's good. We had left Ryan who gave comfort to our chaos, the widened eyes of Craig's fandom, to widened spaces, winding roads, out of Queenstown, stumbling out into a day turned longer than anticipated. New trail, new friends, and it's like they knew me already. The friendship and laughter flowed like, floweth like the waterfall. From parasocial to social, their friendship and laughter floweth like the river. Rene talks of tales from her travels around the world, near death, discomfort and Gary. Sweet Aussie shepherd Gary. This is what it's like to hike with you. Yeah okay, I'll stop though, I have no idea. I ask Craig about his favourite movies and tv shows. I don't remember the exact list but that making Meg a laugh is his favourite thing. Rene's giving gawp core Aubrey Plaza. Smells like um wood fired beef jerky in here. Craig, he's giving a lot less silent vineyard thing. I'm gonna drink my pee right here. And they're both giving me ---- for my accent. The trail is boggy and rugged. I can't believe this, my first hike. And we've been joined by a new Dutch friend, Caroline. Nice walk, nice sun, beautiful mountains. All with our stories, all with our questions. If you're doing an in-person meetup, do you ever consider that you could start a cult? Like Jared Leto? A cult of naps. The day is long but together we'll make it up over the pass. We'll make it to the hut maybe just before torchlight. Looking for can't find the escape cause I've been on the brink overthinking even when I sleep I can't shake the somebody throw me a line and veggies. What is the Japanese word for yummy? Much spicier than I remember. In pidgin, like Hawaiian, they say broke them out. It means it's like really ******* good. There is something about waking up in the New Zealand hut. Orchestral in nature, a gentle solo of the first awake. Two coordinated movements, careful not to impose, working together as a full symphony of hikers. It's a beautiful morning. Beautiful. The trail outside our conductor. Meat's back on the menu boys. I mean like when I'm hiking by myself among groups I definitely come across as a weirdo. Hyper real side characters filling silence with shared fears of loneliness purpose and value. It's funny walking behind Craig because it's like I'm I'm at home in my living room watching TV on YouTube. It's like yesterday was like 12 hours of Craig Adams to study relax and hike. With no escape. No escape. But what's the soundtrack? Too much? I like it looking good. You get spiced out? Why are there so many bugs down here? You watch a lot of YouTube? Just here and there. It becomes a little bit meta. I can't show you my subscriptions. Oh. But you can see. The acknowledgement of this platform and its algorithms deciphering if relationships formed this way can be truly genuine. Why did you throw that rug? And now I sit here in this hut and write among the murmurs of its rumblings. Renee misses her dad. I miss my mom. Look at how far we've come. It's the last morning. We've got to escape to the car. Excuse me. You're in the trail. Alone in Alaska crossing a big river. Pack above my head. I didn't film it. That's how scary it was. Did you think you were gonna die? No. This reminds me of Alaska though. I'm having flashbacks. Get me out of the river. Renee's wilderness first aid comes in handy and Craig treats this as very serious. This is very serious. I knew we'd become a family when we... It's when I hear my voice sound like this I know we've reached sibling level. Cowboy. Our little family had earned a day of rest but when friendship and love are flawless there's always room for another hike. All right we're going to Bristol. I could get used to trail hiking. She's getting really chilly. Funny place to put a hike. I can't carry it for you but I can cut it. Got my thick woolly socks for tonight. It's why I love being with people out here. Masks are formality removed to make space for discomfort. You get to know someone's true character. There is nowhere to hide. It's amazing. We've got some basil pasta, tomatoes, marquesas, parmesan, cherry tomato. Bon appétit. It's annoying that the best moments are only ever captured in memory. Without crampons and my flight to catch it's unlikely we'll get all the way to the glacier this morning but I think Craig and I will try and get as close as we can and Rene well she had too many Tim Tams and it attracted all of the Kia in New Zealand. They came for her. About time we head home now don't you think? You know what's kind of wild? Craig's video of this will look completely different to mine. We have different ways of approaching the story. I probably hired five strong men dressed up in full orikai attire. According to one script by 30 I'm married with kids, a house, a dog. I thought turning 30 and not having all those things meant that I would be a failure but oh my god if we are the stories we tell ourselves then you know what's kind of wild? These cheeky Kia. The story right here is one that you get to write yourself. Take everything I've taught you and fly like the flightless kiwi birds you know. Don't you build a narrative. I ain't got no more knees. That was actually delicious. It was a pie. My first pie in New Zealand. Mince and cheese. Seems to be the best. I said fluffy and he's like whoops. Rice porridge, Thai lime and coconut tuna and horikake. Mexican chili. Wild golem emerges. It's like in my throat and it's like rhino hide. Rhino hide. I've never had. I call my lady rhino hide. Put your fat finger down. I can't. For this shot b-roll underline VO. Walter is life. I'm Craig Adams uh I hike alone. I could have done that in half the time. This is true. Raindrops keep falling on my head. No. You were very popular on this trail. How does that make you feel? Turn off the camera. You get vertical. Oh wow. Wow.