Craving or Not? 5 Body Indicators of “Craving” that Causes Suffering: Talk w/Rick Hanson 02/14/24

I offer these every week along with a guided meditation just click the uh subscribe link below to be notified through YouTube when I post the latest recording or if you'd like to join us live which would be great uh just go into the description section below and follow the link along to be able to sign up for free as you probably know uh after the Buddhist Awakening he uh wandered a bit and encountered as best we know a handful of people that he uh practiced with and they could tell immediately that something remarkable remarkable had um happened for him and they asked him what happened well can you teach us some and he he he said okay and either at that time or at some point fairly soon after that he described what he had experienced in terms of four truths truths for Noble ones uh truths that make us Noble and truths that um draw what is Noble within us now the word truth itself is a little tricky and as uh is taught in early Buddhism and also as wonderful modern teachers such as Stephen Bachelor have pointed out um these so-called truths are probably better understood as practices so instead of philosophizing about or conceptualizing or arguing about is it true or not true much more pragmatically which was the Buddha's Central impetus in for himself and in his teaching pragmatic what's helpful the better way to relate to these for call them things as is as practices and uh essentially we are to recognize the um uh Dua we we are to recognize that um there are sometimes painful experiences in life uh first we are to recognize also that even our happiest experiences inevitably change because all experiences are impermanent they're Dynamic they're [Music] changing sometimes changing altogether and we are to recognize firstly that all experiences and in fact pretty much all phenomena in in the material world uh are of the nature to be made of parts that are connected and changing so they are empty of solidity and thus incapable uh in any single case of providing lasting happiness in other words everything is relational and processual we are to recognize this that's that's our practice to recognize it second we are to um also recognize that when we add craving to Dua to the fact that living includes painful experiences Pleasant experiences and all experien are Dynamic and substantial relational and changing when we apply craving to that we suffer we get upset we create conflicts with others we become discontent we become driven frustrated pressured um unhappy and then our third text ask so recognizing Dua in its three aspects that I've described also understanding that um it is when we apply craving to Duca that we suffer we are third to gradually cease craving cessation including in its ultimate non-ordinary forms of Consciousness as an opening end in Nirvana we are to we are to cease we are to practice the cessation of craving and then fourth our task our fourth task is to um engage and cultivate the qualities that are acquired uh in the eight-fold path qualities such as wise view wise intention wise effort wise concentration wise livelihood and so forth so we have these four tasks it's a way to understand practice right we are to recognize whoa experiences are dooka they're not bad uh even the best experiences are dooka even the experiences of an Enlighten being are Dua uh the experiences uh of great inner peace are of the nature of Dua in that they're uh emptily occurring incapable of providing at any single moment permanent happiness because they keep changing uh and we have the task to understand the impact of craving uh we have the task of ceasing craving and we have the task of walking the path beautiful way to understand practice all right I'd like to focus on that second task uh and the third task really of uh craving less rather than more there are many schools of Buddhism and to kind of borrow a a point made by Joseph Goldstein of all the various developments of Buddhism over 2,500 years uh growing like a wonderful magnificent tree from a single trunk deeply rooted in the Buddhist own realiz ation and then with Mighty Limbs and branches and then finally twigs and leaves extending out in all of that no Buddhist teacher recommends craving more right and so let's explore the process of craving Less in the present and so here I want to approach this as an exploration with you as a kind of experience IAL uh uh exploration in especially in four aspects so I invite you to be aware in the present of craving more or less and this talk and this topic uh are for me a little big thing it seems so little in the moment in the present more craving less craving and yet it's such a big thing craving more craving less seems so little and it's such a big thing so I'm inviting you into an awareness of how craving occurs for you broadly now there are extremes of craving certainly and people have asked in the chat well what about if you're grappling with addiction that's a very intense form of craving um and there are also forms of craving uh speaking of some examples for me recently uh a little subtle thing so uh my wife and I are doing a little travel in a couple of months and she asked me to check in on something related to a place we'll be staying and my first reaction was uh one more thing so in the moment you know I contracted around it I didn't want it I kind of pushed it away that's a kind of craving in the moment or uh there you are you're rolling along and and you realize that somebody else is getting more credit than you are uh and in that moment ah you want more credit that's a kind of craving uh let's say you're aware of mistakes you you made or maybe a big a particular mistake and when it when you're aware of it you feel bad you feel you regret it you have remorse so that right there is an unpleasant experience but then you want it to go away you don't want to feel that you want to make it go away that too is a kind of craving so I want to invite you to be aware of four indicators of craving the first of these is a sense of insistence demand being adamant um must uh sometimes that appears around for example arguing a position being right you know my view must be right it is right you need to accept that I'm right you need to you have to you must it might have qualities particularly around extreme forms of addiction like I must have that drink I must have have that uh hit of marijuana I must have it I got to have it any sense of got to got to have to must on the other hand in the moment what's the opposite of that you might make some comments if you like as you reflect uh what's the opposite of must it's typically a sense of acceptance allowing nonattachment to a result you could like the result you value the result but it doesn't have that quality of insistance or Demand right there could be as who is it Tony points out disenchantment a kind of H know a sort of enlightened me I think about the inner Ad Agency and the subcortical ancient you know Rising 200 or so million years ago parts of the brain that they're like an inner Ad Agency uh you know selling us on how great you know a pleasure would be or how horrible a threat would be and yet when it actually happens it's not so horrible and so the kind of the release of the insistence around around that you know get the get the carrot avoid the stick um the opposite of that insistence is a sense of um allowing opening um accepting knowing that you'll be okay even even if you don't get it right there can we be mindful Moment by moment of quality of insisting or allowing right there it's the little big thing isn't it and which side I think of this as a a roof that's pitched you're on the roof you're in you're you but which side are you on relate in terms of whatever the facts may be you know the roof is the roof events or events conditions or conditions what's occurring in your experience in the moment is what is occurring and are you on the craving side of the roof in which you're insisting it's framed as insisting there's a lot of insisting in it or is there a lot of allowing accepting disenchanting yeah can you feel that a second quality very much in craving is a sense of contraction con holding tight someone puts it 1969 um contraction you could kind of feel it in your body right um So lately I've been kind of laughing at myself more than usual about my tendency to chase the Red Bull and I I probably talked about this I think some weeks ago where you know I'm it's it's our nature to chase the bull We crave the bll and biologically animals uh that were not uh very motivated by craving were much less likely to pass on their genes so it's naturally crave it's not a sin it's not pathological it's natur natural the problem is that it naturally creates suffering when we apply craving to the inherent nature of experiences to be Duca to be made of parts that are connected and changing to sometimes be unpleasant and even if they're unpleasant they pass through our fingers in the present so um here we have the sense of contraction and we're can contract around the ball all right so my I see the so I'm I'm trained in addition to our biology culture rewards us for getting the ball right so I have a highly trained mind that uh essentially you know sees the ball values the ball wants the ball pursues the ball gets the ball and looks for the next ball and in that process there's an insistence to be sure about the ball got to have the ball you know what I mean and it's like a dog chasing a ball I'm like a dog chasing a ball and it's the nature of the dog to chase a ball it's not a bad doggy and wow in the process of chasing the ball the dog runs into traffic and creates risks and bumps into people and knocks over Furniture ah H and in that there's often a sense of bodily contraction we're Contracting around the object of desire right that part of the hole rather than seeing the hole we locked onto that part we're Contracting around that part perceptually and in your body you can feel the contraction a little contraction in that craving so you can be mindful of that that's a clue what's the opposite of that Contracting what's the ceasing sensation of that Contracting it's opening like we focused on in the meditation today it's opening out it's going wide it's seeing the hole you know it's opening the hand I read this line recently from uh the great poet Jane hersfield I said essentially a closed fist can only do one thing it can basically bang on stuff boom boom that's what a closed fist can do but an open hand can do an infinite variety of things it is very wieldy and so we can open so what's and you can just tell you know you can tell a mind that is closed it's positional that is righteous it's contracted um around something versus or distinct from a mind that is open you know we have the line from Suzuki roshi um an expert mind has very few possibilities but a beginner's mind has many it's very open so again you can feel it in your body you know are you getting contracted or can you sustain like an open-heartedness can shoulders rise the chest open can there be the opening of a breath such a little thing right contraction Contracting opening narrowing expanding such a little thing and yet right there is the Tipping Point between suffering or nots suffering more suffering or less suffering more harming less harming how about a third quality third quality the sense of pressure a sense of drive that gets mingled with insisting and Contracting but I think of uh the sense of drive or pressure as like energy for you know velocity accelerating you know in Pursuit right pressure and it can feel pressured uh it it feels like you know there's pressure in you or you feel pressured by other people whose craving is infecting you or producing craving in you because they're pressing you you're pressured right and biologically to simplify a lot of stuff when there's an expectation of a reward or a an attempt to a prediction of a gaining of a reward in the brain and yet a falling short in the moment so we're not getting the reward there's a gap between ideal and actual U between reward and um current reality uh when there's that Gap dopamine levels in effect can kind of drop and in that dropping of them there's a sense of dysphoria unpleasantness unhappiness we don't like it so and that creates a motivational pressure Drive pressure to to get it so that there's no longer a gap between the aim and the actual pressure uh by a logically pressure in particular comes from a sense of needs unmet understandably you know it's drive it's the force of Drive um something is missing something is wrong we're driven okay well for you what's the opposite or what happens when pressure ceases what replaces it what's the alternative they're different words one in particular I'd like to draw your attention to is the sense of feeling content you're content already there's no pressure also pressure can often feel like it's being done to us you know we have to satisfy the pressure we have to feed the beast to make it calm down it's being it's happening to us an alternative is to feel lived by wholesome purposes lived by love lived by um wholesome ambition to actualize your capabilities and to be successful in the world and to or and or purposes that live through you to help others to contribute to raise a family to help your neighbors that's very different when you feel like something beautiful is moving through you and carrying you along then you don't feel pressured you're still going after important goals there can still be a quality of passion and enthusiasm but it's not pressure it's like the difference between pressure and enthusiasm Delight they feel so different don't they you know uh the root of the word for enthusiasm I learned in Greek is endos the divine within something August something beautiful something even um extraordinary moving through us when we are enthusiastic about something a person who's pressured could look very active very intense but there's this there's a discontent in it while on the other hand the contrast is when we're in a sense of feeling um enthusiastic delighted playful like pressure is the antithesis of play now of course actually I I'll say this as a general point and come back to it you know I'm I live in the real world and I'm intensely interested in how we can stay on this side of the roof of the mind this side more crazy this side ceasing craving less craving right how can we stay on this side when external conditions are really challenging let's say like a high stake situation like a Super Bowl how do we be in that very high stake situation while retaining a core that has inner freedom in it um it could be others who are putting pressure on on us while we retain the sense of being lived by our purposes with enthusiasm even a quality of delight uh and a and a playfulness you know at the core of it all right there what a difference you know you can apply this difference at work at home you know pressured content enthusiastic playful pressured driven pushed compelled or not right there such a little thing isn't it and such a big one in the moment now of course as we recog recognize the difference between more or less craving in these particular ways around insistence or allowing Contracting or opening pressuring or playing uh then the question becomes how do we develop the ladder you know uh as a habit as a trait inside us and that's a matter of ongoing practice over time uh sometime it can also include addressing our conditions and our circumstances our relationships and our friends so it's they they are more conducive to or more supportive of resting on this side of the house of the Mind the roof of the mind less craving that's all really part of it I'm in particular I'm drawing your attention to where practice happens mainly which is in the present so that in the present there's a greater mindfulness of more or less insistence more or less contraction more or less pressure and as we become more and more mindful in the moment in an increasingly granular even subtle way we are more able to be mindful of the habit of craving as it arises and disengage from it withdraw fuel from it definitely not hop on board it it's sort of here we are continually another metaphor at the train station and there two tracks here we are one track the other track and you know trains are continually coming on each of the tracks one of the track is craving it's the craving track and the other track is the ceasing craving track and at any moment the question is which train are we on and or which one are are we about to get on and very often when the trains come by us they're not yet moving full speed we're not yet on one or the other we could kind of lean on into one or we could lean into the other and being mindful in the moment of Leaning into insisting or leaning into letting go leaning into Contracting or leaning into going wide right leaning into pressure leaning into content already right right there such a little thing Moment by moment which train will you hop on board Moment by moment so powerful so number four four draw your attention to and there will be five actually number four more or less self wow uh as the sense of self increases so typically does clinging of various kinds it's also true the other way as craving or clinging increases the sense of self tends to increase as well so such a little thing more or less self in the moment on the one hand could there be a very could there be a sense of possessing mine I got to have it right and there's the there's the Gada the insisting and then there's the I who got right how about um identifying with something like a position or a an object that's me H that Fosters craving we taking things really personally ah how dare you what an affront right getting caught up in resenting resenting is craving being AG grieved is craving grievances that are all so personal aren't they even if they affect other people we I are getting caught up in what has happened to another person more or less self right you could just watch it you just get caught up in I this me that mine you know there on the other hand there could be less sense of taking things personally more of a sense that what's happening is happening and there's a particular body mind with a name tag there's gorging there's ricking right there's uh morining uh aiing Catherine in Madison yay uh there there are those uh that's happening but it's much more impersonal not dissociated but connected to kind of everything unfolding locally you know right there you know is there a heightened sense of getting your ego caught up in it um taking it particularly personally getting fixated on you know your own positions and or is there more of a poof letting go of that that's like a fourth thing to notice right on that right on the razor's Edge there right on the the tip of the roof more self more selfing or a releasing of the activity of selfing in the moment okay and then last one and then I'll open it up see what you've got to say about it this is a this is a basically I'm I'm encouraging a practice the Buddhist talked about the task right and one way to explore the task of ceasing craving alongside the task of understanding the impact of craving in more and more granular and subtle ways um as we engage that task in the present we become much more mindful of the process of craving which then tips The Dominoes falling with suffering as the result the fifth distinction to notice in in the moment is what the Buddha called becoming compared to being so biologically again you know animals that were really good at predicting and becoming and planning and imagining a future and imagining themselves in that future they were more likely to have survived and we are their great-grandchildren here we are today okay and there's a place for a imagining yourself in a certain future there's a place for that there's a place for planning there's a place for that but very often what you'll find is that inherent in a process of craving is some quality of becoming distinct from being very often we are orienting around becoming because there's a sense somewhere of dissatisfaction with what we are already being I'm becoming a certain kind of a person or I'm becoming a person who is loved or I I am becoming less stressed because I'm stressed right now and this is kind of tricky because there's a place for being helpful to ourselves being on our own side right but on the other hand you can watch the difference in your mind between leaning into a future that you want to grasp and claim which are kind of pre craving on the road to craving leaning into craving grasping claiming right which involves becoming and it's very different to to experience abiding in being simply being already okay already content already full through which processes and motivations and plans and actions are flowing flowing through being without getting caught up in attaching to what we hope to become being distinct from becoming so to summarize and finish and then see what you make of all this I'm inviting you into a deepening mindfulness of more or less craving in your body in your emotions in the present right indicated by any one of these five distinctions right more or less insisting insisting or allowing Contracting or opening pressure or contentment more self less self be coming or being now as you practice and then see what it's like to rest more and more in your home in our home base our our nature what is natural to us really um in which uh we have an accepting allowing this for whatever's arising not resisting it being at home uh in a a quality of uh openness spaciousness curiosity invitation welcoming uh at home uh in a sense of feeling content and pursuing goals on the basis of feeling lived by purposes and with a sense of presence and awareness but not a contraction into self and a resting in a sense of being these qualities Al together being increasingly at home in them finding these as your natural home so that as you dwell increasingly in this natural home um it becomes more and more your ground and if you leave home briefly you come back to it more rapidly and you can be at home there with others too okay well what do you make of all this so I have a lovely question from Julia Harris Julia 23 after is there a conflict between setting healthy boundaries and insisting it's really great um I made a kind of distinction between this side of the roof and that side of the roof like it's binary and dualistic in reality it's more like [Music] um the mind is like a complicated Mosaic and I'll describe it like this green tiles uh gray tiles and red tiles green tiles being uh less craving red tiles more craving and so at any moment in your Mosaic is there more or less green or red so it may be that there needs to be a kind of firmness when we're setting boundaries with someone and with them we may be basically saying that that is a condition of an ongoing sort of relationship with them uh that's that we are insisting in that sense but in the mind in your own mind there could be an ultimate resting in um equinity about it and knowing that what you are insisting that they do they may not do and uh finding a way to uh to be ultimately uh allowing of that and at peace about that so for me that's how I would talk about it and I find actually that the more we're rested in the more green lights more green tiles than red lights in the moment uh when we do bring a gravity to to other people and a clear communication of what's needed it tends to land a l a lot better right uh it's it's really interesting paradoxically the more that we are in our own minds not insisting the more powerful our dignified grave serious Communications can be okay so let's see more patience fantastic I'm so glad Armen at 25 past you brought up patience patience is one of the six Perfections of a awakened being and we are perfecting these qualities along the way patience it sounds so down to earth and it's wonderful because in patience you're not insisting you know you're you're being present with what is um You may wish it were different because it might be real unpleasant or it might be bad um but there's patience about it you're not impatient I've I've been really watching my own impatience uh you know which I see the ball right and it's a good ball we really ought to get the ball let's say trust me on that it's a particular ball we really ought to feed children right we really ought to preserve democracy we really ought to uh you know do a certain kind of task at work we really ought to do that uh and and then I can be in situations where I'm watching other people and it's taking them a while to get it or and and I can get a little impatient about it hey don't you see the ball right uh but no right there craving and suffering like hurry up get the ball you know hurry up uh pressure hurry up pressure suffering okay so let's see I love these summaries thank you Sarah uh yeah what do we do W in the moment we're there's intense craving uh uh someone earlier brought up again like I said addiction um in the moment 99% of you might be on this side of the roof 99 of The 100 uh lights are flashing red let's say but there's one can there be just one that's flashing green and that makes all the difference in the world because then if there's that one part of you that can simply say to yourself so craving so triggered so you know ah and I think occasionally there's a place for survival or for protecting those we love to just go full red if you have to for a noble purpose going full red for a green purpose sometimes we got to do it you got to go full red to run into the building and get your kids teddy bear your shoes your car keys and your dissertation discs you know because your apartment building might be about to burn to the ground that's a true story uh yeah no apologies for full red and bless people who for the sake of all of us are willing to go into full red for the sake of the r or green thank you thank you First Responders thank you um you know people who protect us and so um I think there's a place for that that said you want to move out of red as soon as you can uh you want the red to you want the green ideally to gradually spread uh you want to learn over time what was it that just flip that switch and Bam the whole board lit up red so then you're going to be less and inclined or less triggered or less vulnerable to that in the future there's a there's a place for all that um but I find that so much what's really important is to establish yourself in and in a fact that you know identify with that one tile in the 100 tile mosaic let's say that one tile that is green establish that as your Beach head that's your secure base and you can rest in the knowing yeah so much red don't do anything stupid reck full red slow it down don't say it don't push that email don't send it and that one part of you that's green knows this and then it gradually spreads you know onto the whole board and it may take many minutes or even hours to days even to come out and there may still be a pocket of red that about that person or that topic that issue um there's certain topics that really for me have to do with my loyalty to others that poof you bring those up for me and there's a pocket of red in that mind but the bulk of me knows don't you know use that red don't let it use you right use that intensity use that passion use that anger use that outrage that disgust use it but don't let it use you that makes all the difference in the world can we be green about the red can we rest in not craving as the space in which craving is occurring changes everything that's why this training that I'm inviting you into we're training our brains to gradually be more inclined toward green lights than red lights gradually more leaning into this side of the roof right leaning there so more and more that's the center of our gravity and it takes a bigger and bigger trigger to drive us from that home base that's the training and this training this distinction that I'm calling you to tonight is exactly that you know mindfulness of more craving resting in lust craving so enjoy yourself this week that's the invitation right and every moment what an opportunity more craving less craving you know and seeing if you can disengage from craving and rest more and more in um like I was saying right allowing [Music] opening lightening rather than pressuring pressure feels so heavy lightening um less selfing and more being okay