Tips & Strategies for Women Navigating Their 40s & beyond: Maintaining Physical & Emotional health

Welcome to the Womanhood Lectures where each week we bring you topics and discussions on issues that matter to you, the modern day woman. We hope to inspire, we hope to bring some inquiry and hopefully some healthy debate on issues that matter to you on your journey of womanhood. I'm one of your hosts Yasmin. And I'm Lyra. Pull up a chair, join us at the table and grab your favorite drink so that we can chat. Please like, subscribe, share it, definitely comment because it does affect the algorithm. And we'd like to send out positive messaging for women over 40, women over 30, any modern woman that will listen to us to be honest. But we're going to share some insight today on us, what we've went through and how it feels to be over 40, trying to stay fit. Trying to stay, trying to stay fit is the key. I know. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw the first question to you. Okay. Because you're very committed to your health. And you have a really kind of long history in taking care of yourself like physically. So I want to know what do you do now? Over 40, that's a little bit different. Or what do you focus on right now? In terms of staying fit? Sure. Okay, first and foremost, like background. I was an athlete as a kid, played every single sport. So being physically active was definitely something that's just part of my life. And I always felt what it was like to feel good. Okay? You feel good when you work out, you feel good when you exercise, you wake up in the morning, you feel a lot better, more confident, you stand up taller, your body feels good. Now, fast forward. You know, my 20s, I was probably the fittest I could possibly think I could ever be definitely looked amazing or size one, size two. And I was like, I was just living it. And when I say living it, like I felt like I knew where all my organs were. Okay. And then I had two kids. And then it was like, I don't know where my organs are. I hear you. I hear you. So I mean, you know, there's, there's a lot of stress, I think that we put our bodies through as we go to the transition of having kids. But also, I think our bodies change. So you have to forgive yourself, you have to forgive your body to let go of any guilt or association with it. And to be honest with you, I find that all that stress that you put on your body to be or to look a certain way, it does have its effect. It has a negative effect on it. Okay? You're just building up cortisol, you're just stressing your body out. You're just always constantly on these yo yo diets. I don't know how many diets I've been on, I can't count. But there's the keto diet to like fasting to, I'm going to try the paleo diet carnivore carnivore diet, like, have you ever tried vegetarian or veganism at all? I haven't. Okay. I love I grew up, I grew up eating that at every meal, right? So it would either be curry chicken, or you know, some really good food. Some meat with some rice and vegetables is a very East Indian meal. Now that being said, you know, as I work out, I have to kind of like focus on what am I putting in my body, which is really important. And I'm not skinny, I'm never going to be a skinny person, you know, but if you ask me to carry you to the shore, I would be able to have a very strong person. And I've developed that over the years, I would say right now, as you know, almost turning 45, that I'm probably stronger than I was at 35. That's amazing, stronger. I'm saying like lifting, weight training, being able to like the power that I have in my body. Now, it wasn't always like that. Like being physically fit is very hard. I'm not there. I'm not even close to where I want to be. Because if you're like me, I'm pretty sure you probably live in the past. And think about that time you fit in that size two, size three, size four dress. Oh, yeah. And you're like, I can't get that back. It's so hard. Where did that woman go? I don't know. And now I'm using clothes to kind of secure everything in place. And if you're like me, it's okay. You know, it's... Thanks is your friend. It's my friend. Yeah, absolutely. But I will say, I don't work out every day for any other reason than to just be healthy. I don't do it for my physicality. Like, I think that's just a byproduct of it, that I look greater in outfits. And I, you know, and obviously things fit better. But the actual reason why I would get up every day is because it changes my confidence level. It changes the way that my body feels, especially after 40. Everything hurts. I think it's like literally the day after your birthday, that you turn 40, everything just starts to hurt. Start having these mystery ailments. Yes. These like mystery. I remember like about six months ago, my wrists started hurting for no reason. No reason. And I mean, I'm in OT. So I thought, oh, maybe I have de Quervain's. Maybe I have some sort of, you know, tendinitis. And I was thinking to myself, how is that possible? I have not done anything differently in the last few months. Why am I having, and then it magically, miraculously went away. But it took a few weeks of me resting. And I thought, this totally sucks. How am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life? And, and, and I'm not like you. I mean, I don't work out a lot or very hard. I do more yoga, stretching. I do power walks every morning. And, and personally, I, I don't like hitting the gym. In terms of weight training, although I should be doing it. Weight training is actually very effective. Yeah, it's really good for you. Especially for women over a certain age, because it does help with your bone strength. Yeah. And having that strength actually carries towards your future. So as you age, you age better, you age stronger. So you know, the brittle bones, it's, it has like that counterintuitive in your body. So I believe in weight training, I believe that you should try to weight train even a little bit, do some weight bearing activities, it does help. But I will say that, I think if I think for me, I'm a really bad example to the public and the general public, because I will go to a CrossFit class and start lifting a whole ton of weight. And then I will have to go to physio. Because my back hurts, but it's because we're like, I, I'm trying to pretend that I'm 20 years old in this 40 year old body. So, um, So where's your happy medium? How do you balance that out? So that's what I started to do. I started to just do more resistance, resistance training, it's still weight training, but less real, like heavyweight training, you know, I stopped doing the CrossFit. And now I just do, you know, 30 minutes on the treadmill, walking uphill, and I do resistance exercises. I think over time, my body will just start to adapt and change. And what I've also realized, I mean, I believe that, as we, you know, bear children and have children in this day, modern age, you know, we're constantly being poked and prodded, right? We've all probably had epidurals and had C-sections. And also, you know, I've had my tubes tied. So that was a huge, it had a huge effect on my body. Oh, wow. And I believe that it changes your hormones. And I think there's so many things that are influencing us as, as women. So our hormones are being affected by the food we eat, the, the, what we're drinking. So the way that we are, our bodies have changed. Unfortunately, our metabolism has changed, our hormonal regulation has changed. So it's much harder to lose weight as you get older. It's much harder to make the changes. It's much harder to like, eat certain foods, even because they have an effect on your body. So I would think that to make a serious impact on your life right now, it's just like making that behavior change every single day. Like telling yourself, you know what, I'm going to do those 10 push-ups. Oh, the 10 push-ups. I can't believe that you got me to sign up for that. That's hilarious. So yes, I started doing push-ups every day. And they are awesome. Like you're doing full, like your knees are not on the ground, and you're actually doing it. Are you kidding me? When I watch, when I watch back, I'm like, Oh my God, I don't even look like I'm moving. It feels like I am touching the ground. It does not look like that at all. But they are push-ups. They are push-ups, nonetheless. They are full push-ups. I'm not on my knees. And you're challenging yourself, right? I am. And it's probably been a month now. Yes. And you've been doing it consistently. Yes, I've been doing it. And I do find myself stronger. So thank you for that. Thank you. And that's just a behavior that you've implemented every single day that you've been trying for well over a month now. And now, like you're going to... It's much easier. Yeah. So by next month, you'll be able to do a full extension push-up where like your body comes up and down. Where it actually comes up and down, and I can see the difference. I know it's hilarious. It really is. And it's okay. I can laugh at myself. Absolutely. I'm very weak in my upper body. So it's a good thing for me. And I think, you know what? I'm actually going to start planking as well. Because that's going to help me a lot. I found that after I had kids, my core strength is just gone. Oh yeah, mine's gone. I jump, I pee. I laugh. Don't make me laugh too hard. If I laugh, yeah, same thing. But the planking has helped, right? The planking, I think everything will work. And that low back pain, that comes and goes since I've had kids. I don't know about you. Yeah, I have low back pain. I think a lot of women experience low back pain. But what has really helped is like squatting and doing certain exercises that are isolating to the glutes. We do a lot of sitting, right? And especially if you're like, you know, had children, you're in your 40s, you're working at a desk all day long, you're sitting down, literally your whole body is just inflection forward. So you're not really activating your back or your glutes. So doing exercises that build that up and influence that back part of your body major, major improvements. Okay. So I've seen, I've seen something floating around the internet. You tell me your opinion on it. Okay. Okay. Miss, was that a BBL? No, no. Okay. Sorry. Gosh, please. Please. I can, I can build that booty up. I'm sure I can. One of these days, build it back, build it back better. My kids stole my, my, my butt. My kids, my kids took everything. They do, right? Yeah. They just suck the life out of you. Yeah. So I've been, I've been seeing wall Pilates, uh, circulating around the internet. Yes. Um, do you have any experience with that? What do you think about that? Because I think for me, that was amazing. Pilates in itself is amazing because you're working all of your core stabilizing muscles throughout your body. So your core is not just your core, you're working stabilizing muscles. Like if your, your arms have stabilizing muscles, your shoulders have stabilizing muscles, your back has stabilizing muscles. So when you're doing Pilates, it helps to build that up. But yes, I believe Pilates is great. I'm a little bit, I get a little bored of Pilates, but you know, I mean without machines, yes. Right. Just because I used to be a dancer. So I did, um, ballet for quite a while. And that was, that was amazing. I was, I I've been able to maintain my flexibility and fitness for many years after having kids simply because I had that as my training. Right. Um, so I still have pretty decent balance. I can still stretch. I mean, I can do a little bit of bar work, but, um, really that, that helped me a lot. So if I can get back to something very similar to that type of training, my body would really like, yeah. Well, Pilates is great. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to try it. Yeah. But then is it really worth it to invest in one of those apps? I think you can find a lot of videos just on YouTube. Right. I'm sure I could. You could. Anyways, I'm going to look into that because that's, that's sort of my next move. That's the, that's the thing that I think I should start with because again, I'm, I'm trying to do, you just want to not, I want to get stronger Absolutely. Please, please. Can I keep it all in? Um, yeah. Yeah. I don't want to get to depends just yet, honestly, but it, but it's normal. Like all of these things are pretty normal, like, especially after having children, like it's just not, and, and, and really and truly staying fit after 40, there's some people who are just magically like so fit. And so, you know, with it and I'm just like, wow, I've, I've let myself go or whatever. And it's just whatever. It's the real, the real thing I can say to you is like, who cares? Like you're on your own journey. And if you can do that one little thing every day and make those improvements, that's all you can do. And that's perfectly fine. But there's some people who can't, there's some people who can't commit. There's some people who say they're going to do something and then they don't. So I'm talking to you when I say, what can you do every single day? Join an accountability group. Join an account. Yes. Because what did we do? We literally on WhatsApp, there was five of us. Yes. And all we did was say, okay, everyone just do 10 push-ups if you can every day. 10 push-ups, 10 squats, 10 minutes on the treadmill. Something. That's it. Something small to like slowly implement a behavior change. But get in the habit of doing it. Right. Which is amazing. And here's the accountability group. You don't have to post yourself doing it. Although I did, I started, I started that by, or you started it, I think. By posting a video of me actually doing it. I have to do it. And then when I miss a day, yeah. When I miss a day, I'm like, oh my gosh, I got to post something. So I do 20. Yeah. I'll always make up for it. But the, but the beautiful thing about it is there's something you have to check, like people checking in on you. Yes. In a way. Yes. Right. They're not looking over. So if you could make like your own accountability groups, even with your friends or somebody like, like in your life, even your partner, like say, you know what, we're going to, we're just going to be accountable towards each other. This is what we're going to do every day and make sure we do it. I think implementing small behaviors is definitely going to work. Yeah. It's the same thing. I, and it's the same thing that I tell my clients in our coaching practices as well. If you can, accountability is one of the key ways for you to change a habit, to transform your life. So find someone in your life that you agree that they will check in with you or you will check in with them. Right. And that keeps you kind of keeps you honest and it keeps you on track. So what are your goals? What are your goals for fitness? I want to, I do want to get stronger. Okay. I want to get stronger and I want to, um, I want to get a little more toned or a lot more toned actually. Cause I have, I'm, I'm slim, but I'm, I'm sort of at a point where I'm sort of slim and saggy. You know what I mean? So I want to just get some muscle back. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. What about you? Uh, I want to get slim. No, I just want to go back to like when I was 25 and I can rock those outfits. You know what I live in? Like I told you, I live in the past, but I'm saying, I think a lot of us just, you know, um, and that's where I take the pressure off. Like if I'm going to get there, I'm going to get there. Like along the journey of getting there, I'm just going to have fun with my life. Right. Um, so I don't take it as seriously as you think. I go to the gym every day because I love it because it's become, you actually enjoy the process. I actually enjoy it. And I love it. Like it makes me feel better when I go, when I don't go and I'm sitting down and I'm, you know, eating something I shouldn't. I'm like, you know, something's missing. So my body tells me like, you don't feel good because you didn't go, you know? So I think you should listen to your body. You should listen to what it's telling you at all times. Um, and I think our bodies become so intuitive after a certain age, like we're all, we've already lived a life. We've had children. We know we're kind of like, we lost sight of certain things for sure, because we get disconnected because of things that have happened to us. But when you connect with your body, your body tells you don't drink that Coke, you know, hang, don't eat that pizza cup of coffee. It's gross. I feel terrible. Like your body is always telling you. If Yeah, if you're in tune with it, it'll it'll talk to you loud and clear. Yeah. So what do you think about intermittent fasting? I love it. I do it. I find that for me, I'm able to curb my my cravings. Like I don't crave bad foods anymore. But I don't do long periods of time, like I will do my regular like, 6pm, I'll stop eating. And then the next day, I'll start again, I'd say 10 to 12. Like it's not a really long period of time, but 10 to 12. I'll start eating again. Yeah, so it's like an eight hours. Okay, window. Okay. Yeah, I think for me, I usually stop around that time as well. Six ish seven ish maybe. And then I will have tea in the morning. But I don't really eat till lunch. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So lunch and dinner. Okay. Much. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, if I'm hungry in the morning, I'll have something I'll have a piece of toast or something. I won't, I won't deprive myself and I won't stick to rigidly to it. But I do find that it's it's been helpful. In general, like I just feel better. Yeah. Fasting. Yeah. There's a lot of great content out there for intermittent fasting. There's a lot of apps that you can use to kind of help you and guide you through that. You know, fasting in general is kind of been looked at as like, oh, you shouldn't do it. But actually, there's so many benefits to your body, your body almost recuperates, it starts to build itself up again. So yeah, yeah, it allows you it allows your organs to actually have a rest. Yes, they're constantly working. Right? So yeah, it is very good for you. What about Have you ever done any cleanses, juice cleanses or anything like that? So I used to do juice cleanse all the time. It was very, very challenging. It was like a three day where you would just slowly get rid of stuff that you're eating. And then you drink juice for three days. And then you'd slowly start introducing foods back and hopefully they're healthier choices this time. And and honestly, it was a great way to kind of just give your body a break. Okay, yeah. You lose like a bit of weight, I'd say like 10 to 12 pounds is what I would lose in that 90 period. But it's something that's very difficult to, to really stick to. Because once you introduce foods back in your body, it's like, stick to the good stuff. So I think like, take the pressure off. I think the best advice that I could say is just eat your body. Well, make better choices, you know, and eat foods that are actually like, on, you know, that are nutritious, that are actually nutritional content. Yes, like our protein that helped build you, right, as opposed to breaking you down. I agree. I think it's probably a good idea, maybe once a year, to do something like a cleanse, like a fast, you know, I know, I know a lot of my friends in the spiritual community and coaching community, they'll do, say, if it's not a juice cleanse, they might do a water fast for a couple of days. Yeah, I haven't done that. I wouldn't. Yeah, I love food too much. I'd literally be dreaming about pasta. Five minutes. It's not even that like, I already have conflict, right in my marriage. If I'm hungry, it's gonna be even worse. That's not fun. Lira will not be will not be fun anymore. Not a happy camper. Yeah, go well. Yeah. So without food? No, no. Hangry, hangry you is not good. Yeah, I know. I could I could, I could probably not eat for a couple of days. But past that. I don't know if I could. I don't know. I haven't done it. Yeah, I haven't done it. So I can't. I'm pretty sure I would not survive the zombie apocalypse. Because I would just be like, take me now, baby. Where's the yeah, no, nope, not doing this. I feel like I surrender. I'm taking now. Yeah, I'm done. Yeah, I don't I don't think I would survive just not no food for days or anything weird like that. Yeah, it's not for me. Again, I'm a lazy girl. I realized the more I talked to you, the more I realized. But you don't like you don't Yeah, you know, some people say like, you don't really need to like you're already slim, but it's like, it's more like different goals. You have different goals. Right? For me, I think that a lot of people think that going to the gym is supposed to be like, I'm going to get slim and skinny. And I'm going to have like a booty and whatever, you know, that I just think that we need to take the pressure off. There's just so much pressure already in society and as a whole to like be something that you're not. Just have fun with it. Like I go to this fantastic Soca dance class. And it's Oh, I would do dance. Anything to do a dance. I think you came with me when I came with you last once I like Zumba. Yeah, I would certainly do that. And it was just like, shake your booty have fun sweat. And like, that's, that was it. And it was like, if so finding something that you just love to do that brings the life and the zest back into your life, right? Especially all my friends do different things. Like one of them really loves to cycle. One of them loves to run, right? In all types of weather. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. She's serious runner. I only run in the summer. Or run from a bear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I run two places. How about that? Yeah. Um, but I, I don't know, for me, I like, I like things that are fun. So if it, you know, if there's music playing, there's energy, energy, good vibes. And yeah, I that's my thing. That would be my jam. For sure. What about so fitness after 40 isn't just physical? What about mental and emotional fitness after 40? Do you find that for you? Any of that has changed? Oh, over the years, I would say that like, over the years, I've become more in tuned with how they all relate. Okay, they all come together. Like if you're if you're feeling that in a good mental state, and you're working on that aspect of yourself, like I know for for you, you meditate, right? And you kind of take the time to like, really get to know yourself and just be in tune with it. I think that's very important in terms of people's second question was the emotional aspect. Yeah, emotional and mental. So I do spend a lot of time, you know, just introspecting and reading content that that helps with that I started to journal because of you, actually. And I find that actually helps me get a lot of stuff that was built up over the years out in the open, you know, what would you suggest? Yeah, absolutely. Those are all the things that that I do, and that I recommend to people is not like pay attention to, to the mental to the emotional, to your spiritual fitness, because I find that after 40, you start becoming a little more introspective on your life. Yeah, as your kids get older, you start looking towards the future that is, you know, kids not being at home, and your role is going to change over time. So it's a great time for you to start rediscovering who you are, what you love, things that you want to get engaged in, and it will change as you age. So it's a great time to set those foundations. I think emotional intelligence is one of the best things that you can learn to do. And, and we don't often focus on that when we're younger. And when we're starting our families, because we're so busy juggling, right, that we don't pay attention to that. And what do you suggest for developing that emotional emotional and emotional aspect? I think for me, these, some of it, some of it is meditation practices, and awareness practices. So I, I teach people, you know, how to have that self awareness of your energetic body of your emotional body, working through trauma and, and wounding. If you can become emotionally fit, you're incredibly strong. It helps so much with your discipline. It helps with every aspect of your life. If you can develop that commitment muscle, if you can develop that discipline muscle, you and everyone around you will benefit from that. You will you will literally just skyrocket to becoming an incredible version of yourself. And you know this because you you apply this to your life through your fitness, right? Right? If you know how to be committed to one thing, you can learn how to be committed to other things. But it's a ripple effect. Like all of these things have kind of helped each other out. Yeah. So in this journey of becoming our authentic selves, there's just a lot of different aspects that have come into play. And one of them is that is the physical aspect. I think that if you're trying to pursue your goals, to become, you know, your true authentic self, but also chase your career goals and chase your independence, and my kids are getting older, so I know that they're not going to rely on me as me on me as much. So there's just this window of time where I get to like, actually pay attention to myself. Yeah, and actually focus on myself, and actually grow and not feel like they're so dependent on me anymore. So yes, I think there comes an age where you're like, wow, I have to face myself. Yeah, yeah, I have to improve myself. And I have to do more for myself. And that's what's really helped. The fitness aspect has helped me tremendously. I'm building my self confidence. I'm bringing back to like, the vibe, the energy, the positivity, the you know, the I've embraced it. And definitely also building community is really important. Yes. I feel like sometimes, as as younger women, we kind of bury our head. And we focus on our career, we focus on our family, we focus on our marriage, we do all of these things. And 10 years later, it's like you're coming up for air. And suddenly, you almost don't know yourself. And you've gone through all these changes and transitions, and you're trying to find your way back. Community is so important. So like, I love going to women's circles with you. Oh, yes. Those are the best. Amazing. Yeah. And I have women who reach out and say, Oh, man, like, I need women, I need to be around women. I need to be around women my age, I need to be able to share my thoughts and, and really have that collective, that collective share where you're sharing your thoughts and somebody saying, Oh, my gosh, like me to experience that, too. Right? It's very healthy. Yeah. Yeah. And even just getting the reflection from other people that have had similar experiences or different experiences from you, just to see what are they going through versus what am I going through? And all those all those little tips and tricks and things that they've done? And what have you done with your kid? And how did you get through that? Right? You know, what do you do when this has come up in your marriage? Those are so important for women to share. And I think that's really a good end off point is that we're not alone. Like, we're really not alone. Like when we have this conversation about what we're experiencing, we're not alone. Like, there's so many women who experienced that. When it comes to emotional wellness, and when it comes to mental wellness, we're not alone. When it comes to women circles, and the stuff that we share in those circles. We're not alone. Like, there's a lot of very distinctive commonalities between us. Absolutely. And I hope I'm not alone in peeing when I cough. I know you're out there, ladies. I know you are out there. Or when you jump into a jumping jack. Oh, boy. Yeah. But anyway, please like, subscribe, share. Our content is very unique. It is for women. And this is a womanhood. We'd like to stick around comment. It helps the algorithm. Until next time.