Along Came A Spider - CRAZY TOUR STORIES Ep. 454

Hey, we're Long Came a Spider from Cleveland, Ohio, and these are our crazy tour stories. Alright, so this one time we basically had a day off, so we decided, let's have a little fun, let's get some drinks in us. We got, what kind of whiskey was it? It was, oh, it was Tennessee Honey Jack. Tennessee Honey Jack. We ended up finishing, I think, that whole bottle. No, we all had individual bottles, there was three of those, and we all finished. Well, I guess that's why the story ends the way it does. But so anyway, we're drinking, and Luke says, I gotta go to the bathroom. So he goes, and it's been about 20, 25 minutes, he hasn't returned, so of course we're a little worried about him. We end up going out, and we walk towards the end of the RV here, and we see a cup with the drink that he was drinking in it. We're like, why is that there? We turn around, and he's right in front of the RV. Just assed up, face down in the grass, and we're like, Luke, are you okay? He ends up just laughing his ass off. It was the funniest thing. He started laughing, because I was like, oh, let's get a picture, because we were trying to be quiet, because we didn't want to wake him, because I wanted to get a picture. And then he even said, while he's laying there, he's like, are you guys trying to take a picture? So we were like, yeah. So then he just, oooh, we're taking this face to the curb. So. It was fantastic. We didn't get the picture, we were laughing too hard. Oh, a lot of times, when we would go through Louisiana, we'd always stop in New Orleans and we would always try and get crazy drunk on Bourbon Street. So we would all get- And succeed. We would succeed, by the way. So we would all go to this, we always had this corner place between these two strip clubs. It was like Stilettos and Hustler. And there's this little corner bar place that just sells fish bowls and in the fish bowls they just mix a Hurricane, which is like a ton of- Like eight shots, basically. Just a ton of liquor. Yeah. So it was, so we all get one, we're all wearing our necklaces and I think the one time Jamie looked at me and he's like, well, I got two, so why aren't you gonna get two? And I was like, alright, well, if he's gonna show me up, I guess I gotta get two. So we all just basically just keep drinking these fish bowls and we're not realizing with the heat and everything like that. And no food. So we're just stumbling through Bourbon Street. Jamie, at one point, some random black guy comes up and puts his arm around Jamie and they become best friends. They walk off and we're so drunk, we're like, he'll be fine. Just strangers. And he comes back, he had Chinese money in his wallet, the money's gone. We're like, what did you do? No idea. He has no clue. So we think the guy either robbed him or he says that he gave it. Here's some Chinese money. Here you go, buddy! Which is equally as believable. He paid for a stripper's college tuition. That or I did that. I honestly believe he did give him the money. He's Canadian, so he's very good with this. So we're drunk and the smartest thing to do when you're drunk is, hey, let's go get tattoos. So we go to this tattoo place, Luke's like, I'm just gonna get a piercing. And then I think I look to the other band that we were on tour with, I was like, hey, you should get a tattoo with me. And they're like, yeah, I'll get a tattoo with you, and they didn't. So I told the guy, I was like, yeah, I want a spider, because my band's along came a spider. And then he's like, all right, he draws it up, and I was like, yeah, that's amazing. And then the next day, I just look on my shoulder, and if you come up, if you want to zoom in, he puts MCP pants on my ******* shoulder. So it's like the worst blown out line spider I've ever had, but that's just it. A forever memory. Yeah, now I keep it just as a badge of shame. All right, well, now, in true fashion, basically almost all of our stories involve alcohol. Speaking of shame. Yeah, almost all of our stories involve alcohol in some way or another. But actually, it was a tour where it was just me, Justin, Kalo, and Luke. And we were in New York City, and we played an early show on Staten Island, so we decided to go over to the city. Well, me, Luke, and Justin were not drinking, but Kalo sure had a lot of, what was it? What was it called? It was some shitty whiskey. Oh, it was the worst whiskey you'd ever seen. Evan Williams, in my mind. It was absolutely disgusting. It was in a Pepsi bottle. So he was like, the good thing, there was somebody there to carry him, basically, through New York. Yeah, it was a girl that became our tour guide for the night. For the night. And she wound up taking us in circles. But anyway, so we wound up in Times Square. We noticed, hey, we're all hungry. There's a bubblegum shrimp. So we're like, all right, let's get some food. And Kalo had a few drinks in him, couldn't walk, said, the tab's on me tonight. Cool, sweet. So we're all sitting down. We sit down at the chair. We sit down in our chairs, and everybody's looking over the menu. And Kalo looks like he's really studying this menu, like hard. Like really hard studying this menu. Tell them about the appetizers first, though, because they brought out the appetizers. Yeah, they bring out the appetizers first, and it's a bunch of shrimp. And he started eating it with the shell on it. He's like, that is real good. So you have to do it all the time. So when it came time to actually order the food, he goes, I'll have the shrimp stacker. And the waitress, she said, that doesn't exist on the menu. He ordered something off the menu that just did not exist. He made it completely up. But he thought it was there. He's like, no, seriously, it's right here. It was actually, what was it? It was a shrimp shack chute. It was close. No, it was like a shrimp boat or something. It was like a shrimp stack platter. Shrimp stack platter. It was a shrimp boat platter. It didn't even have stack. It was a shrimp boat platter. It didn't have stack in it at all. But he saw platter and thought stacker. To summarize the story, drink in moderation, folks. Just don't drink a lot. You could end up ordering stuff off the menu and you're like an idiot because it ain't there. The best part, too, is when we were leaving on the ferry. He's just so proud of all that we just did in New York. We're all just sitting there and all of a sudden he just walks to the edge of the boat and he goes, See you later, New York. He salutes the Statue of Liberty. He doesn't even salute the city. He salutes the Statue of Liberty like she's got reign over the whole city. Thanks, Mayor.