26 Video Views·May 15, 2024
If you feel you or someone you know might have been emotionally neglected as a child, please watch this video. Child abuse doesn’t always leave marks and bruises but instead makes you grow up with invisible scars. Even if this kind of abuse doesn’t show on the outside, it can impact your whole life, even after you’re long gone from your childhood home. This kind of abuse is called childhood emotional neglect, a dark place where a child is ignored, not taken seriously, told their feelings don’t matter, and treated like they’re not even there.
Because this form of abuse is often unrecognized and unreported, it could be difficult to spot the signs. This can be confusing when you grow up with emotional problems, and you’re left wondering why am I like this? So, we made this video to help you find more clarity about what you're going through now.
Writer: Stela Kosic
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera (www.youtube.com/amandasilvera)
Animator: Sun Biscuit
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong
If you relate to this video, we have also left a list of hotlines below you or a loved one can use to seek help for abuse.
Resources:
National Child Abuse Hotline (US and Canada): 800-4-A-CHILD (800-422-4453)
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233)
TTY: 800-787-3224
Video Phone for Deaf Callers: 206-518-9361
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)
TTY: 800-799-4TTY (800-799-4889)
Crisis Text Line: Text HELLO to 741741 (US and Canada) or 85258 (UK)
National Runaway Switchboard: 800-RUNAWAY (800-786-2929)
References:
Aust, S., Alkan Härtwig, E., Heuser, I., & Bajbouj, M. (2013). The role of early emotional neglect in alexithymia. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 5, 225–232.
Cikanavicius, D. (2018, May 14). 5 Ways Childhood Neglect and Trauma Skews Our Self-Esteem. Psych Central. psychcentral.com/blog/psychology-self/2018/05/childhood-self-esteem#6
Li, M. P. S. (2022, April 28). Childhood Emotional Neglect – 37 Signs, Effects and How To Overcome. Parenting For Brain. www.parentingforbrain.com/childhood-emotional-neglect/
Müller, L. E., Bertsch, K., Bülau, K., Herpertz, S. C., & Buchheim, A. (2019). Emotional neglect in childhood shapes social dysfunctioning in adults by influencing the oxytocin and the attachment system: Results from a population-based study. International Journal of Psychophysiology, 136, 73–80. doi.org/10.1016/j.ijpsycho.2018.05.011
Stoneson, A. (2021, November 17). What makes a people pleaser? Labyrinth Healing LLC. labyrinthhealing.com/blog/what-makes-a-people-pleaser
what kind of childhood did you have
often times when you talk about having a
bad or abusive childhood people will
associate it with physical abuse the
kind that leaves marks and bruises but
what about the kind that leaves
invisible scars
childhood emotional neglect is a type of
abuse where the child is ignored not
taken seriously
told their feelings don't matter and
treat it like they're not even there
this can be a difficult and devastating
experience and it can affect the way you
see yourself in others ruin your
relationships and even impact your
emotional and physical health to learn
more about this here are five signs
you've been emotionally neglected in
childhood
[Music]
number one you have trouble
understanding your emotions
if your feelings were ignored as a child
you never would have learned how to feel
and express them in a healthy way
instead of talking and supporting you
your parents may have ignored you or
told you that it's not a big deal as a
result you may now find it hard to
recognize the emotions you feel let
alone express them to others a research
article from 2013 even found that early
emotional neglect in childhood played a
role in developing alexithymia which is
when you experience difficulties in
identifying decoding and communicating
your own emotional state
after all if you have difficulty
understanding your own emotions then
you'll have a harder time coping and
overcoming them as well number two you
avoid social situations the home you
grew up in becomes the baseline for the
types of relationships you form in
childhood the time spent with your
parents is the time when you learn how
to converse express your emotions and
opinions
and have fun with others
so if you experienced neglect your
opportunity to learn how to socialize
became neglected as well a 2019 study
showed that growing up without a
sensitive and responsive caregiver who
provides emotional support and security
has negative effects on social
functioning this means as an adult you
may have become afraid of people and
will try your best to avoid social
gatherings in general
maybe you feel like you don't know what
to do or say or you're simply afraid
that you're going to be rejected by
others just like you used to be when you
were a kid
number three
you have low self-worth
as a child you are completely dependent
on your parents they're here to teach
you not only about the world but also
about yourself in this way you end up
internalizing your parents ideas and
values and making them your own so when
your parents neglect and ignore you
they're sending you a message that you
don't matter
this is where your self-image and
self-esteem may have been damaged and as
you grow older you end up carrying these
feelings with you as you go through life
as an adult you may neglect taking care
of yourself due to feelings of
inadequacy and feeling like you're not
good enough for those around you
number four you're trying to please
everyone
children who grew up in emotionally
neglected households often had to pay
attention to their parents emotions
instead of their own if you had to
constantly make sure to never upset or
anger your parents you may have grown up
to become a people pleaser
this can mean being afraid of rejection
or abandonment being preoccupied with
what others think and feel and becoming
fearful of saying no because you don't
want to appear mean or to hurt others
feelings but this can take a toll on
your mental health leaving you stuck in
relationships where you give more than
you take
overworked because you've taken on too
much responsibility
or becoming exhausted and burned out
from trying to take care of everyone
else and number five
you feel unexplained resentment towards
your parents
sometimes parents are not intentionally
neglectful they may provide a roof above
your head access to education and food
on your table
but as much as they're able to provide
you with all the material things you
need they may have forgotten that you
need love as well
as a result when you grow up you may
feel unexplained anger or resentment
towards them maybe you avoid them or
never visit them
you may even become confused as to why
you feel the way you feel
after all you can't say they deprived
you of basic human needs or abused you
but even if you didn't recognize the
emotional neglect they put you through
you may have felt it you knew something
was missing and you still feel it today
even if you're not sure how to explain
it
so did you recognize yourself in some of
these signs
if so know that it was never your fault
and no matter how hard it is
it is possible to recover getting
professional help could help you learn
about your needs and emotions gain
self-confidence and get your life back
on track
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thanks so much for watching and see you
in our next video