Alien Cow Adventure with LeslieAnne Bird

Hi friends, are you ready for story time? I'm ready for story time. So, a long time ago, like 20 years ago, when my husband and I first got married, we went on this big trip out west. Now, I don't know about you, any of you been on a trip out west? When you drive out west, what happens? If you've been on a trip, you know that you can get to places where there isn't anything for miles, but desert or fields, it's crazy. Just a long straight road with nothing around. So, we stopped for breakfast and as we were about to leave, I told my husband, I think we need to stop at this gas station up the road and get some gas. And what is most people's dads, if you've ever traveled with a dad or a grandpa, what do they always say? We don't need to get gas, we'll make it, no worries. Well, guess what? We didn't make it. We got to the middle of nowhere, ran out of gas. My cell phone was almost dead and this was like a long time ago, so it was before there were smartphones. So, this was like, you couldn't play on your phone or anything like that. My cell phone was almost dead. I made a call to AAA and you know what they said? Three hours, three hours before they could come and bring the gas to us because we were so far out in the middle of nowhere. Ooh, I was mad. We didn't have any food. It was dinner time. I was hungry. I was thirsty. It was really hot because it was the summer and I told him we needed gas and he wouldn't listen. So, I stomped away from the car and sat right next to this post with a field behind me and I was fuming and I get like really angry and I didn't want to talk to anybody. So, certainly not my husband. So, all of a sudden I hear talking behind me and I turn around and there's no one there. And I think, oh, it just must be the heat. It's getting to me and I hear talking again and I turn around and there's no people there but there's some cows. I was like, oh, I must really be hungry and it must really be hot and I might be getting dehydrated. I think I hear those cows talking. No, I don't. And I turn around again and yes, the cows are talking. So, even though I'm upset with my husband, I'm like, okay, I gotta check and make sure I'm not crazy. And I'm like, come here, honey, sweetie. Do you hear the cows speaking English? He's like, of course not. Oh my gosh, yes, they are. The cows were talking. What? They were speaking English. I was a little concerned. So, I turned around and the cows were right behind me at this point and they're like, hey, what are you doing? Why are you sitting here? There's nothing here. And I'm like, wait, you're a cow and you're talking to me. And the cow's like, oh yeah, we've been talking for years. And I'm like, I've never met a talking cow. And they're like, yeah, we know, it's not really normal. There's a thing that happened. And I was like, well, we're out of gas and I got about three hours. Do you wanna tell us what happened? And the cows were like, okay. We were out sitting in the field minding our own business, just eating grass like cows do when we got swooped up into the air by a flying saucer. And we were abducted by aliens who thought we were the people. They thought we were in charge. And they injected us with this serum that made it so you could speak any language in the whole universe. English, cow, French, German, Arabic, Spanish, all the alien languages, which I can't pronounce because alien's not my, I only can talk in one. Anyway, so they were like, what? And the aliens asked the cows, they asked the cows, are you in charge of this planet? And they're like, no, you totally got the wrong thing. We turn into hamburgers, we're their dinner. And the aliens were like, well, we don't wanna talk to you. So the cows told them how to find some people and they plopped them right back into their field. But they didn't realize this, but the language serum never wears off. And I was like, huh, well, that's just crazy. And I said, how about the farmer? Have you told your farmer? And they're like, oh yeah, we were messing with him for the longest time. He'd be at the barn and we'd like talk and he thought he was crazy. And finally we came clean. And he doesn't tell the other farmers because they don't think he's not right or something like that. Who is talking cows? And I was like, yeah, this whole thing's a little weird. I said, well, did they teach you, can you teach me some alien since I've got time? And they're like, yeah, we can. So they taught me this song. ♪ Amalama kumalama kumala bisteh ♪ ♪ Oh, no, no, no, no, no bisteh ♪ ♪ Eeny, meeny, gypsy, leeny, ooh, ah, ah, maliny ♪ ♪ Achoo, pachoo, kumalachoo, who are you? ♪ What does it mean? Oh, it says, we are the cows that can talk like the people. We like to eat grass. Welcome to our field. And who are you? I know, exciting. Not really, but they're cows. So that's what was important to them. So they taught me alien. That's how I learned to speak alien from the cows. And I promise you, this is a 100% true story.