How to Create Deep Intimacy With Your Partner with These 6 Steps

How to create deep intimacy with your partner. Hey guys, my name is Danny and I am a coach here at Happily Committed and today I wanted to talk to you guys about how to create deep intimacy with your partner. Now before I start I kind of wanted to explain the differences between sex and intimacy because a lot of people have the tendency to interlink the two and although they are related there are two significant differences between the two. So the first one is that sex is more of the physical act whereas intimacy is more of the emotional closeness and bond that you form in the process of developing your relationship and in order for intimacy to grow it is extremely important for you to build a safe space for you and your partner to feel open and vulnerable and authentic enough to be yourself. So how do we create this safe space? The first step is respect. There has to be a mutual respect between the two of you in order for there to be this feeling of understanding and the ability to feel comfortable enough to be your authentic selves and there's a treat others as you would like to be treated and the same concept goes for your relationship and with your partner. Remember this, you and your partner are equals. You are not greater than your partner and you are not less than your partner. You guys are equal and in that equality you're able to build a mutual respect for each other. Step number two, be supportive. Now there are three subcategories when it comes to being supportive and the first one of these is reflective listening. Now if you haven't heard the term reflective listening, let me take a minute to explain it to you. Reflective listening is basically seeking to understand the concept or the idea that your partner is presenting to you and then the second step to that is repeating that back to your partner for understanding and confirmation that you understood the idea and the concept. The second subcategory is empathy. Empathy is extremely important in your relationship and empathy actually is more so in regards to an understanding of your partner's emotions. So let's say for example your partner comes home from work and they've had a really stressful day, they're extremely frustrated and they vent to you about the situation. Empathy is you being able to put yourself in your partner's shoes and understand where they're coming from from an emotional standpoint. You would want your partner to show the same empathy to you as they are expecting from you. The third thing within support is validation. Now validating is extremely important so validation is the recognition and the affirmation of your partner and their feelings. So letting your partner know that you see them and you hear them. Topic number three, get to know your partner. Getting to know your partner is extremely important in building intimacy within your relationship. Now a lot of the times people kind of get lost within the monotony in the routine of life. Things shift, priorities change and it's very possible that in the beginning you guys were very well connected but over time things kind of started to change and you're not as connected as you used to be. So getting to know your partner is a great way to start building intimacy again. That can be asking your partner questions. What is your partner's life goals? What are their interests? What are their hobbies? Do you know your partner's favorite color? Now if you struggle in this department and you're not 100% sure how to ask the questions or what questions to ask, there's actually an app that I personally love and I've used myself and it was suggested to me by a therapist and a friend and it's called the Gottman Card Dex. Now basically what this is is that it's an app that you can use and let's face it we all live in a technology age so our phones are with us 24-7. If you're ever in a situation where you're not 100% sure what to ask, how to ask it, pull this app out and let your partner know that you want to play a game and this game will help you to build that intimacy and really start to get to really start to understand your partner on a different level. Within the app there are different categories that you can select. It's love maps, open-ended questions, sex questions, there's a multitude of different things that you can use within this app to help you ask those questions that you're not 100% sure how to ask. Step number four, be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is key in building an environment in which your partner feels safe. If you are able to open up and express your true authentic self with your partner, your partner will feel comfortable enough to do the same with you. Step number five, share a hobby. As simple as this may sound, sharing a hobby is incredibly important in building that bond and that intimacy within your relationship. If you are able to share an interest and then you're able to reminisce and talk about your experiences within that interest, it is incredible what will happen and you actually will start to develop a stronger friendship than you had before. Maybe you guys were really strong friends when you first started out in your relationship and everything was going great and over time and again with daily routines and the monotony of life, things change and you don't invest as much time in your partner as you once used to. So that friendship starts to kind of die off a little bit. In sharing a hobby and in doing things together, you're able to rebuild that friendship and to be honest, some of the strongest relationships that I have seen come from extremely strong friendships. Step number six, be romantic. You're in a relationship and your partner wants to feel wanted. Little gestures can absolutely help in making your partner feel as if you take interest in them and you want them. It can be as small as planning a small dinner at home, maybe going out to the park and having a picnic or buying little gifts for your partner. As long as you are showing your partner that you are invested and committed in their happiness, that is what will help you form and develop a strong bond and deepen your intimacy, which after all, that's what all this video is all about. If you related to this video and want to explore the topic further, please visit us at happily committed.com for more of our blogs, our articles. And if you feel like you need to take this further and you still don't 100% feel like you completely grasp or understand the concept, please, please, please visit the website and you can book a one-on-one coaching with either myself or one of the amazing coaches that we have so we can go through this together. Like I said, my name is Danny and I'm a life and relationship coach here at Happily Committed. Don't forget to like and subscribe if you connected to the video and I'll see you guys next time. Thanks guys.