Does She Like You..Or Is She Just Being Nice?

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan. And in this video, I'm gonna be doing something that I think will be really beneficial for a lot of you guys. So I've already done a video about signs that she likes you and then signs that she doesn't like you, but I get a lot of questions asking me to kind of analyze the situation and guys asking me, do you think she likes me? And a lot of times the answer is no, but she's kind of giving you signals and signs that she does like you, but in reality, she doesn't. And she's just being nice. So in this video, I'm gonna be going over the dreaded, does she like me or is she just being friendly? Or is she just being nice? Because I think a lot of you guys deal with this and this is the reason why I want to make this video in the first place. So some girls are just a little bit more friendly than other girls and it can come across like she likes you, but in reality, she's just being polite or being nice to you because she feels obligated to. So this is all gonna depend kind of on the situation that you're in. But in this video, I'm gonna be giving some examples of each, some ways to tell, some easy ways to decipher if she likes you or if she's just being nice so you can figure out which scenario is the case for you. So before I even get into the nitty gritty of this video, I want you all to think about your situation and ask yourself the question, is she at work when this is taking place? Because I think this makes a huge difference and I get a ton of questions from guys asking me about a coworker or asking me about a barista. I literally get so many questions and a lot of them come from guys that like a girl that is at work, that is working and giving off the signs that she likes them when in reality, it is her job to be nice to you. It is her job to get you to spend money. It is her job to be polite. A lot of times I think situations when we feel like someone might like us, the reality is, is that they're just doing their job. Keep this in mind, it's a part of customer service. If she's an exotic dancer, duh, she's gonna be nice to you and give you attention and act like she likes you because she wants you to give her money. It just is what it is and if you don't wanna be in that situation, don't go to a strip club. A lot of times guys mistake girls for liking them and being into them when in reality, they're just doing their job. Now I'm gonna be going over some different scenarios and signs to pay attention to that will help you distinguish if she likes you or if she's just being nice. So say maybe this is your friend or you have her number or you've met her before and she replies to your texts and she talks to you but she never reaches out to you or talks to you first. She might be nice and always replies to your texts because she feels some sort of obligation to. If you're in the same friend group or if you work together or if you know each other from somewhere, she might just feel like she kinda has to reply to you or maybe she does like talking to you but she just sees you as a friend. The important distinction to make here is, is she only replying to you or does she reach out to you first and initiate conversation with you? A lot of guys message me saying, well she replies to my texts or when I message her on Instagram, she hearts my message. That means absolutely nothing. I hate to say it, I wish it wasn't true but a lot of times, you guys are messaging these Instagram models that probably get thousands of messages a day and unless she's actively communicating with you or replying to your stories or following you or messaging you or texting you, she's not into you. So like I said, I would say 98% of the time in these scenarios, if she's just texting you back or hearting a message or liking a message that you sent and not actually saying anything, she probably doesn't like you and she's just being nice which is nice of her to acknowledge you but I think a lot of guys read into this the wrong way and it's really confusing so I just wanna clear that up. Just because she is hearting your messages on Instagram does not mean that she likes you. She's probably getting thousands of messages a day. If a girl likes you, she will find a reason to talk to you. If she sees something funny, she'll send it to you because it reminded her of you. If you post something on your Instagram story, she'll react to it or respond to it because she wants to talk to you. This is a big thing that I think guys don't realize and really people in general, I think girls have a hard time with this too. If they want to talk to you, they will find a way and if they don't, it's just gonna be you constantly reaching out and maybe getting something back but it's gonna be really one-sided and it's just gonna feel bad. So like I said, pay close attention here to if she is initiating contact with you and reaching out to you first rather than just responding to your texts or Instagram messages. Number two, we have canceling last minute. So this is a big one that I've touched on before but I think it's important here to also understand that a lot of girls will talk to you and act into you because they like attention, okay? As humans, I think we naturally like attention, guys do this too but it never really goes anywhere. So maybe you've been texting her for a week and it's time for you guys to hang out and she cancels last minute. The reason she's doing this is because she's texting you because it's convenient, she's probably bored or she likes the attention but when it comes to the point of actually hanging out, she bails last minute or flakes or cancels or comes up with some excuse as to why she can't meet up with you. And this could be like I said because she just likes to text you because she's bored and likes the attention or it could be because she doesn't know how to let you down easy, she doesn't wanna disappoint you, she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings and tell you that she doesn't wanna actually go out with you so she'll agree to do it a week in advance but then when the time actually comes, she thinks to herself, crap, I should not have agreed to this, I don't even like this guy and she cancels. So it's just gonna be something that happens over and over. If a girl just like texting wants to hang out with you or talk to you, she will. So if she cancels last minute, I think this is even more of a big deal especially if it happens more than once. I think after once or twice, you should not even keep pursuing this girl or talking to her because she clearly just wants attention from you or maybe she doesn't have malicious intentions and I think a lot of girls don't but they don't wanna hurt your feelings and they don't know how to say no without doing that. I can't say I've ever really ghosted anybody but I see why people do and it would just be nicer if they would just come out and say, look, I'm not really that into you, I don't wanna hang out so that you're not sitting there thinking that you guys have plans or thinking that there's something between the two of you when in reality, she just doesn't know how to say no basically. So I wish more people understood this and that's why I say this so much on my channel because I want all of you that are watching to know that it's better to be honest and upfront with your feelings rather than to pretend like you're feeling one way when really you're not. Pay attention to this canceling last minute thing because I think it's a big one and I know a lot of girls do this. So if she cancels on you last minute, no. Number three, we have touching. So when we like someone, I think it's natural to want to be closer to them, to touch them. I know in the past, if I've liked someone, I would touch their arm or touch their leg or hold their hand or something like that. If she likes you, she'll probably try to touch you in some way or another. So she might put her hand on your arm or she might put her hand on your hand or really just initiate any sort of contact with you. Some things I think I wouldn't include in this are like a high five or a hug. I think hugs have just become kind of common. I've given my guy friends hugs before with no intention or feelings towards them at all. So I don't think that one is really included but initiating more of like an intimate touch with you, I think is a big sign that she likes you. Body language is a huge thing to pay attention to, especially if you're trying to figure out if a girl likes you or not. And just being honest, I have never like initiated contact or touched a guy that I didn't have some sort of interest in. I don't just go around touching everyone. Maybe some girls are more like this. Probably not now as much with coronavirus but I think when a girl likes you, you can kind of tell by her body language and how interactive and close she gets to you. So if she's backing away from you or doesn't act like she wants to be close to you, this is probably a sign that she's just being nice and talking to you, but doesn't necessarily feel that way about you or wants to advance those next steps and make that kind of physical contact with you. So pay close attention to her body language and the way that she interacts with you. Touching is a huge one. Number four, asking questions. So I know I've said this in a video before, but if a girl likes you, she's gonna ask you questions because she wants to get to know more about you. So if you're having a conversation with a girl and you notice she's not asking you anything, she probably either doesn't like you or she's a narcissist. Either case, this is gonna be a no-go. So friendliness or a girl just being nice to you is often a very surface level conversation. But when a girl likes you, it's gonna be a little bit more in depth, a little bit more deep of a conversation, and you're gonna be able to tell the difference. But just because a girl is talking to you does not mean that she's into you. She could just be being nice, she could be being friendly or doesn't want the situation to be awkward. And I think this is really common in workplace or at a restaurant. Maybe you have a crush on the server and she's talking to you, but that's her job. Again, like I mentioned before, it's very different when the girl is at work. So a lot of guys mistake a girl simply talking to them for liking them. And this is something that I really want you guys to understand. It's normally pretty easy to tell if a girl likes you by the conversation that you're having. So if you're having trouble depicting if she likes you or if she's just being nice, the answer is probably that she's just being nice, which leads me into my next point of eye contact and focus. Eye contact is a huge one. And I'm speaking from experience on this one. Anytime I've been really into a guy and they're talking to me, I give them all my attention, all my focus. I'm looking into their eyes, staring into their soul, hoping that they think I have the prettiest eyes in the world and not deflecting my gaze onto anything else. So if a girl likes you, she's gonna be looking at you, she's gonna be paying attention to you, and you're gonna feel like it's only you guys in the room. When a guy gives you his full attention and his full focus, it makes you feel special. It makes you feel like they like you, which they probably do. So same thing goes for girls. If a girl likes you, she's gonna be looking at you, she's gonna be giving you her focus and attention because she likes you and she wants to hear what you have to say. If she's nodding and smiling, not really contributing much to the conversation, or she's getting distracted by other things, chances are she's just talking to you to be nice and she doesn't actually care what you have to say. So like I said, a girl that likes you will often contribute to the conversation, give you her attention, give you her focus because she likes you, she wants to get to know you, and she cares about what you're saying. And last on my list is you versus the other guys. So another great way to figure out if she's just being nice or if she might actually be into you is by paying attention to how she acts with the other guys. So say you think the barista might have a crush on you. If she's treating you the exact same way as the guy behind you in line, she's probably just being nice and it's her job and she's having a conversation with you. But if you notice that she's way more talkative with you, she's asking you a ton of questions, she's being a little bit flirty, and then she's being really dry or short with the next guy in line, it could mean that she does like you and she is giving you that extra attention because she's into you. So if she's giving you extra attention or singling you out, this is a really good sign. And another important thing to note here is it could be the opposite depending on a girl. So maybe she's really friendly with every other guy in line but then barely talks to you and gets really tongue-tied and nervous, that could mean she likes you. So it really is gonna kind of depend on the character of the girl. Some girls get very nervous and kind of tongue-tied around guys that they like, so keep that in mind. It's just kind of important to figure out if she's treating you the same as everyone else or if she's kind of giving you that extra attention or singling you out or just kind of treating you different than every other guy. So like I said, it's gonna depend on the girl exactly how she acts, but if she's treating you different than the other guys in the room, this could be a good sign. So guys, that is all I have for today. Let me know in the comments down below what you think. Be sure to like this video and subscribe to my channel for when I release new content. Also, be sure to follow me on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. Just another great place to connect with me. I do a lot of Q&As, post a lot of my story. So it's just another great place to have some of your questions answered and connect with me a little bit more. So thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time.