Introducing...

I will my favorite my favorite I love Hershey's anything no but like the peppermint yeah there's nothing better well what have you ever had one well that's your decoration but I that's not a decoration to eat no I love Hershey's Kisses me too but like I don't think I've ever had these they're so good look at us with our laptops look at us looking like we're we know what we're doing we do we know do you want to know what's funny what I don't know how to turn these on they work they look like they work I've been messing with them for we're just not going to use mics today and we'll get it figured out oh that's connected to yours they're connected to each other I don't I think the kids did something but I tried to get it connected to the camera and I haven't been able to figure it out so oh yeah the best way to start this would be well first of all this is Bobby hi hi this is Bobby it used to be Bobby Bowman but is Bobby Carter no she's married oh my gosh and I want to I'll do like a I want to introduce her to you guys so that you guys know who she is but to me Bobby I always call her my I always call her my alive spirit guide just because she is someone that has been through everything with me like I call her and confide in her when doesn't matter what I'm going through and I feel like you always are someone who sees my blind spots like you don't judge and you just help me get through things so so she's been like my RIT or Die the person I call every day for the past year for sure um oh also in my last video I did bring her up she was the person that randomly called in fact do you remember that I do okay I was praying like I just need to talk to Bobby and literally as I was saying that my phone started to ring okay here's the other side let me just say this really quick I was sitting at the store my husband went in and I was like I'm just going to stay in the car and it was literally really involuntary I was just like I'm calling Ashley and I was like why am I calling Ashley right now it makes no sense oh my gosh that is I feel like that's how spiritual things work though you don't always know why you're doing what you're doing you just if a thought comes and it's a good thought just follow through you don't know do you that's happened a lot like there have been many times that one really stuck out to me because I was like literally in the middle of praying and it happened immediately and it's crazy to hear that side of it but so many times where you've shown up or I don't know and I'm like I like literally needed that so yeah always listen K let just say one more thing then I was going through some wild storms in my life and I was like I don't you know when your trust is a little bit rocked and you're like I don't trust anyone right now I don't even know if I trust myself and I was praying for a friend at that time and I just happened to as I was saying that prayer in my mind I pulled up to this little mini store that's local in our community and looked over and Ashley was parked next to me and I was like oh God wa and and seriously they were some of my closest friends going through those storms so I feel really grateful it's just kind of like Mutual we laugh because we're kind of reverse situations yes I know for so long so let's take it back a little bit how did we meet it's been over 10 years yeah so I used to own a gym in North ogon called Snap Fitness iot forget that was six years of my life I know oh my gosh and I met Ashley's warmer spouse there and he connected us and right when I met Ashley I was just like I know we're supposed to be friends yeah and we really have been friends forever nonstop where this whole idea why we're even sitting down and doing this right now is because or like where this came from is again this whole last year we have spent hours I would be anxious to see if like like find our phone records how long we've been on the phone but just the conversations have been so healing and helpful and both of us have been like man I wish that was recorded like we I don't know we both take away so many things to the point that we were both like we need to just like film what our discussions really yeah yeah and I feel kind of like a fraud right now like starting this right now to be honest because I feel like I've taken a thousand steps back in my healing Journey this year I don't know I feel like as of a month ago and I'm just gonna blame it on the holidays like I just don't feel like myself but I also feel like we I don't know I'm like who am I to give advice is kind of how I feel right now but at the same time when you're going through things and you can talk about it it's going to help not only people that are privately going through it but also you you know it kind of helps you work through it too so again I'm I'm I guess I'm trying to say like I'm not I don't feel like I'm worthy to be giving advice on the topics that we're going to be talking about however I don't think there's any such thing as a qualification because sometimes people be like Bobby will we do a write up of what you do and I'm like I mean I teach yoga right and meditation and stud he tells me all this and I'm like most of what I have to share does not come necessarily because of those things it's just like the school of heart knocks so that's true it is true it's like going through it is what makes you qualified to like discuss it right yeah yeah so true but Al let me just say this about Ashley really quickly something that I've noticed through the years is that she always has a way of seeing the good or the silver lightning through anything that she goes through and I love that about you I think you really helped and inspired so many people even if you feel like you're not qualified you're qualified because you have a heart that loves and I think I've seen her you know praise God through the things that she's been through even if they're freaking ugly or really rough and you know loving God in your life or or turning towards that light doesn't mean your life is perfect it doesn't mean you haven't made mistakes cuz both of us have right oh girl yes so many plenty still do oh my gosh I have to apologize all the time for my loud mouth you know sometimes I hear people that don't like me and I'm like dang sorry I probably said something Rogue I don't know like I proba say Sor oh my gosh oh whatever but I do love the idea that there's an adventure we can seek to better ourselves regularly and that sometimes you feel like you're going backwards but you're still progressing can I say something about that Yes actually I was that yes please okay listen I have this analogy and I'll have to draw it out at some point but it's like I have tried to view my life as an adventure because sometimes the adventure is like woohoo I'm on a thrill light ride but sometimes the adventure is climbing a really hard Mountain that's rough wow and when I say mountains I mean emotional things that you go through uh going through loss or struggle or hardship or sometimes going through making mistakes it's like dang I did make a mistake yeah that was all me was me was me I didn't do that and uh you know those those mountains that we climb through life aren't always easy but it doesn't mean that you're you know sometimes you're on top of a mountain on a peak and you're overlooking the valley and you're like wow I'm at such a high point and then we're going down the mountain it's like wow I feel so low now like when did I ever see that high point but but just because you're here you're still like if you viewed it like a journey of ups and downs oh wow does that make sense sometimes when you're at this point when you were here you feel like you're clear back here cuz it's the same elevation but you're you're still moving forward does that make sense yeah so looking at it exactly if you look at it like that you're going up and down climbing a mountain sometimes you are here after the peak right and it feels like you're behind but you're not you're still ahead you're right cuz how often do we think oh I like I just said I'm like I feel like I took a thousand steps backwards which is not true the one thing I really do believe is I used to be a little bit of a perfectionist I was always like seing like how can I be so holy can I be this this and this and then I was just like man I am sucking at life constantly and I learned even that word Perfection at least in a spiritual term really means to be whole and uh to prove yourself means to learn so if you've learned you haven't failed essentially yeah that life is a journey of just learning and stumbling and messing up and seeing what you can do with that mistake oh I love that and really okay bottom line that is what the whole our whole podcast is going to be about it's like lessons we've learned things just bettering ourselves mentally spiritually emotionally physically it's like all encompassing just being better versions of ourselves and lots and lots and lots of probably stories and just I don't know all the things that we've done that have helped us things we've done right and wrong that is actually really helpful too because you're right that's if you can learn from somebody else's mistake do that rather than having to go make the same mistake right yeah yeah so I just want to share this really quick too a few it's about three years ago I started realizing I wasn't we're coming up on a new year and I started realizing I wasn't doing the best at actually achieving my goals and in yoga we teach something called a single pointed Focus so what that means if you're trying to do a balance pose from your feet it's hard cuz you wobble but if you find one spot to focus on on the wall and not just visualize looking at that spot on the wall but looking through that spot so you're looking visualizing looking through the wall they call it your eye of faith and it's a single pointed Focus if you focus on that one thing your body actually gets stronger and you're more able to hold these balancing poses that you normally would stumble in and I started realizing I'm like I need to find a focus so instead of setting a goal I started setting an intention I love that so this year I chose three words okay I chose Embrace enjoy joy and expand I love that meaning I'd been through some turbulence in past relationships and failed miserably in some relationships made plenty of mistakes oh my gosh and I was so terrified to date again because I was like I am not good at this so I was like okay I kept feeling compelled just be open you know so I was like I'm going to embrace the present moment I can't go back and fix my past I can't go back and change anything about it I'm going to embrace and and I made that rule so my mind wouldn't travel backwards to go back and fix my mistakes cuz I'm like it's impossible it's already happened wow so I was like I'm going to embrace the present moment and anytime my mind would try to go back there I would cut it off I'm like I'm not allowed and I wouldn't let my mind go there and then I'm going to enjoy where I'm at yeah like K I may have lost people in my life but I'm going to enjoy who is in my life without that fear like I'm going to lose again so I started enjoying the people on my path and the new friendships and the friendships that I had that grew like Ashley and I have talked so much this year and then I chose the word expand cuz I was like my heart's so afraid to love cuz I've lost so much that I'm going to expand my heart was this at the beginning of this year this the beginning of okay and then for those of you who don't know Bobby just got married just got married she has never been married and that's why we laugh cuz we're like we swapped places you know asle was like my spirit guide in my oh my gosh she was oh well now I don't know as you guys can see you see the kind of advice she gives like this is the kind of stuff when I call her and I'm like I'm freaking out this is the kind of thing that she shares with me and I'm like oh my gosh you I don't know you give me some hope I love that I do feel like that's so interesting that you know sometimes in life you're like on a freeway sometimes you're ahead of people and you're teaching them things you've learned and I experienced that with Ashley and then it's like I'm in a steady place in my life right now and I'm learning so much you know both from things Ashley has been through but also we've kind of swapped you know she's in a place where she's a single mom and I'm like hey I'm all about dating it I got you the dating advice I've been there I've been there for there for 36 years there you go and I've never dated because I married the person I dated when I was 16 so I don't know dating this is freaking me out you know I don't know anything about it it's so weird so she's great helping me thanks it's a mutual yes friendship love it is oh my gosh so I do think that that term the expand that last word I chose I started realizing a heart filled with love has room for more that you know Ashley's been through a lot of loss in her life a lot loss of a child loss of your dad uh loss of a marriage and I just think if you can accept that you have loved and lost that you do have room for more and that it's a sacred honor to love and to lose and that your heart filled with love has oh my I'm literally going to cry I hope you do I hope I do you C it's heing I hope you do oh that's so good oh my gosh I do think that's so sacred though just like think about it like if you are sad about something you've lost yeah you have so much love in you cuz people aren't sad yeah I do cry a lot I do oh that's awesome I did okay I did get married and let me tell you one long thing oh yes I love it I was terrified to be a stepmom I just did not I'd heard horror stories of how people treat stepmoms and I was like I can't do it I can't do it and I was praying one day cuz I kept feeling like I was going to meet someone with kids and and I think that's where that word expand like God can place love in your heart for people these kids aren't my own blood but I feel an unnatural love for them meaning it it feels like it's from Heaven wow that it was given to me and listen whatever situation you're going through I know Ashley's a single mom I really believe that God comes into your life and expands your abilities for those things that is so true I'm not kidding you because I'll tell you what when you're married you have this partner and you're like splitting everything together as in like you you tackle the kids you do all the things together and then suddenly you're like I do everything thing as far as like doing every single task there is to do there's no more splitting for some reason it has not been hard yeah like not at all and before I like I struggled splitting it you know yeah so that is true it's crazy I do feel like there's like extra Heavenly support through those seasons of your life wow that's so good I felt that in my single years for sure yeah it's weird I'm like how did I do stuff my cousin comes in the room and I'm like I'm incapable I'm incapable that'll be me again eventually one day I'll be like I don't know how I was single I'm sure that that I'll get to that point again eventually oh man I love in due time in due time anyway we just want to talk about all the themes I know so this was our intro of what's to come we have a million topics already like this and this and this and every day we're adding to it so we're excited to get this going yes I'm so excited I I mean we already do this every day sometimes you sh you come here and we just talk sometimes it's on the phone but it's like a daily thing and I'm like instead of us just talking on the phone we're going to talk on a at a desk with a mic yeah maybe we should call it let's just talk about it let's just talk about it that's a good one let's just talk about it I'm like I don't know what we're going to name this we don't let's just talk about it yeah okay that might be it that's it the Hills and Valleys of life you know the Hills and Valleys of life you are literally just an angel from heaven okay here you are I feel that all the time I always feel soed when I talk to Ash we so way too nice and listen we like here's the thing seeking to climb those mountains or to get yourself in a better place mentally emotionally spiritually neither Ashley or I are perfect people all right let's let definitely say let's definitely say that in the mic that doesn't work yeah very true I can get Rogue sometimes but I try I try real hard what's hard is when I want to be Rogue cuz this happened like a month ago go and Bobby was like let's do it let's both be Rog I'm like no I need you to tell me no that's what I need you to do we both went row we did we did we did it kind of exciting it was a little exciting you got to stand up for yourself sometime that's how I felt like sometimes when I feel like I'm being trampled on I'm like not today and that unfortunately probably wasn't the best thing to do great advice sometimes so yeah we're Rogue sometimes but we also maybe we can admit when we are wece love yeah yes I I always know peace and like if you're not feeling peace or like Love in Your Heart it's not the right move when you're feeling like angry and like I want to come for you it's never the right move but some I don't know sometimes we make the wrong choice yeah you can tell the difference yes you can we've talked about this like when I'm functioning from love I think love is such a high power and it helps me be more forgiving or hold space when someone's acting Rogue towards me or whatever it is yeah sometimes I function from Pride as do many people and I'm like I'll get you back yeah I'll get you back but I don't enjoy that place it's not I never feel great after so I have to ask myself right everybody like how can I function from love not from exactly I'll get you back attitude right that's something else I'm like I feel like this year I have learned a lot about why I make decisions I make um and that's I don't know a lot of like therapy that different types of therapy that I've gone to that I'm like man cuz sometimes I choose dysfunction and I don't want to do that but then like honestly I've learned oh this is why and if you can figure that out about yourself I don't know it really helps you take a step back when you're making decisions like okay if this is not the path I want to go down stop making these decisions right right you have to catch yourself though sometimes what's familiar is because you're familiar with familiar with chaos yes very true it's like that's why I'm making that choice this feels normal because I'm used to chaos mhm yeah that's very true but then it's like sometimes the better choice is from Love and you may not be used to that so it's like it's hard yeah are you open to receiving love in your life if you're not used to that you're always going to seek out chaos MH I do the same thing yes for me to be able to meet my spouse I met my husband when I was 36 and I did not know how previously to receive love in my life and he has such a big heart a big Spirit he's very steady um I wasn't ready before I was 36 like I was only drawn to chaos wow no really I had to learn how to receive love in my life and I love it I love love I love it too but I wouldn't have been ready I think I would have ruined a relationship before this point in my life I really would have I I only knew how to function from chaos so wow this ended up being like a lovely podcast like there's lots of little little nuggets in here when this was just going to be an intro but I'm so glad like this is what I mean when we start talking it just flows it just flows I love it yeah I love that I love it I love you I love you too I do okay well do you have anything else to say just if something's coming to you say it I'm kind of or if you guys have questions or things you're going through oh that would be let's yeah please comment below because that would be a great idea let's just talk about it yeah let's just talk about it let's just talk about it if you have questions or things you're going through that let's just talk about it yeah that's a great idea we can like pull from comments and like how would we handle this situation that's so good that's so great yeah I love that we just came up with this idea which you just came up with this idea I love it it downloaded there you go downloads like when thoughts come into your mind just like I love it all right guys well we'll see you even though this doesn't work next time we'll see you next time girls and boys all right toodles [Music]