Sandstead -- Art Attack -- Guido Reni Bacchus and Ariadne "Got dumped? Get drunk!"

How many of you have had your heart stomped on by the one that you love? I know I have. Well, we're not alone. It's been happening for thousands of years. This must-see painting is proof. It might very well be the most famous getting dunk story in all of art history. This is the Greek myth Bacchus and Ariadne. I love this painting because it takes the classic Greek myth told hundreds of times in art and turns it on its head. Guido Reni, the 17th century painter who did this painting, hung around with a group of friends known as the Gonzaga Circle. They were writers, they were poets, and they loved the humorous in art. This painting was commissioned by Society Rinaldi, a friend of Reni's and a member of the Gonzaga Circle. And if you're gonna paint something for your buddy, you're gonna fill it with subtle jokes. And that's what I think Reni did. The story dates back to the 12th or 13th century BC. Ariadne, the daughter of the king of Crete, is sailing to Athens with her lover Theseus. Guess what Theseus does? He falls in love with another woman. He dumps her on a lonely deserted island. Venus, the goddess of love and beauty, takes so much pity on her that she sends Bacchus to marry her. Bacchus is the Greek god of wine. Hey, a little boozing after a breakup always takes the edge off. For a wedding present, he gives her an eternal crown in the sky. If you look in the upper right hand corner of the painting, you will see a series of stars. This is known to us today as the Corona Borealis constellation. Corona is the Spanish word for crown. Sounds like one of your favorite beers, right? It's kind of a funny love story as it is, but Reni's portrayal of the characters takes it to another level. Bacchus comes in standing there in his heroic pose, very princely, very godlike. Here's where we enter into the realm of comedy. You see that bulge under his eye? The god of wine looks like he was partying a little too hard the night before. Bacchus is hungover. So basically, Venus fixed Ariadne up with her drunk friend, some consolation, and Reni doesn't paint Ariadne as such a cat either. She's sort of complaining. Her arm is outflunked. What am I going to do now? What am I going to do now? And you can see that she's nagging by her gestures, and we wonder why she was kicked off the ship in the first place. This painting takes that event and makes it humorous, makes it able for us to deal with. Got dumped? Get drunk. Una cerveza, por favor.