Gladiator II (2024) Movie Review - It's the SAME, But WORSE

Hey there, this is Matt once again. Before I start, really Scott, please retire. Retire, dude. Just retire. I mean, you haven't made a good film since The Martian. And before that... God, that's hard to think about. Just retire, dude. Just retire. But before I get into that, this is a paid request. Thank you so much for that. For anyone who wants to request any type of videos, topic, reaction, tier list, ranking, review, re-review, video game playthrough for an hour, a full playthrough, whatever the case may be, feel free to send it and I will get to it as soon as I can. And for those who sent them, thank you. I really do appreciate it. And this is for, as you can tell, Gladiator 2. The sequel that nobody was waiting for. I looked it up. It cost between 200 and 300 million dollars. And it's made about 400 million worldwide. I mean, usually with that budget, you probably have to make, I don't know, 700 million, 600 to break even. And it's not even going to do that. Wait, really? Scott made an epic movie and it bombed? Who could have warned them? Oh, me. I warned them for months and months in my streams. Whenever this was brought up, I said it's going to bomb. It is not going to do well. Because nine times out of ten, Ridley Scott's epic films bomb. Gladiator was the exception, but that's why it's called the exception. Because he did Exodus, Gods and Kings, bomb. He did Kingdom of Heaven, bomb. He did 1492, Conquest of Paradise, bomb. He did a Robin Hood with Russell Crowe, bomb. He did The Last Duel, bomb. He did Napoleon that more than likely bombed. Maybe it got saved from some streaming stuff. Maybe, maybe it did. But theaters definitely bombed. Here's an idea. Stop giving this guy epic movies to make, to direct, to do. Now Ridley Scott used to make some good films. Alien is my favorite of his. That's a classic. Blade Runner, I don't like it as much as other people do, but I don't mind the film. I think it has some beautiful visuals, beautiful music. Ruger Hauer is excellent. There's just other issues I have. In particular, the love story. And I don't think Harrison Ford's character is as interesting as people make him out to be. There's just other Harrison Ford characters I like more. Indiana Jones, even Richard Kimball. That's a lot of things. But I don't mind Blade Runner. Black Rain I think is great. G.I. Jane I think is underrated. The Martian I liked. But Body of Lies and Prometheus was lame as fuck. Alien Covenant was even worse. Give this guy a passport and have him have a ticket to retire land. Retirement home. Just relax. I heard from a friend of mine, I'll give credit to Fabio. He said in a video that someone had told him that there was a screenshot. And I guess someone who's involved with both Gladiator 1 and 2 would say that in the first film he was particular about the details. Which you can tell if you watch behind the scenes of Alien and Blade Runner. How he was a control freak. In fact, a lot of people thought he was a dickhead for how controlling he would be. Among other stuff he did. But then supposedly for this film. Just do it in post. Now I'm not saying you have to be a dick while making a movie. Has it helped? I mean James Cameron made it work. And some of his early stuff. But no, you don't have to be that way. I don't think you have to. But I think there are a lot of people. Not just established directors. But younger people that they have the same mentality. We'll just do it in post. So it creates laziness. A lethargic way of directing. Where we'll just do it afterward. We'll do this. You get your lines out. You get your... Yeah, we'll do it in post. We'll throw in all the CGI animals. We'll throw in this and that. And yeah, we'll do it afterward. When back in the day you were not afforded that luxury. And you had to make sure you get it right with the lighting and the timing. And now it's like, well, we'll change all the color afterward. We'll change all the effects. So we'll do all this afterward. The lighting. Everything. And yeah, you could. It doesn't mean you should. And no wonder why a lot of films nowadays look, in my opinion, less impressive, less interesting, less artistic than films back in the day. Are there exceptions? Of course. I think The Substance was a really good movie. A really good looking movie. Starring Demi Moore. But again, that's why they call it Exceptions, not The Rule. Now, Gladiator 1, I'll be honest. I need to re-watch that film again. I don't remember being the biggest fan of the movie. But I do remember Russell Crowe being fairly good and having presence as the lead. I do remember that it used much more practicality. In fact, there's a scene where they use real damn tigers. While here, every damn animal is not just CGI, but horrendous Resident Evil looking CG. And this is a story that honestly was not merited. There was no reason to tell the story. Because it's the same movie as the first movie. You take the first movie. You add in Denzel. You add in a happy ending. You get this movie. That's all it is. If you add Denzel and if you add a happy ending. This is the same movie as the first one. A person whose loved one died. Get put into slavery. To fight in Gladiator tournaments. Fighting person after person. Being friendly with other slaves. Wanting to rise up and change things. Ultimately fighting the bad guy and defeating him. There's stuff dealing with other animals and creatures. Like I mentioned the one with the tigers here. There's one with a fucking rhino. At one point someone, there's a friendly mentor who happens to be black. I think in the first it was Jaiman Hansue. I always butcher his name. Here is Peter Mensah. Who I remember as Hammond from the original Dead Space video game. He was in Jason X. Sadly he's not in it that much. And this movie was just such a boring. Deja vu. It's reheated leftovers. Badly. Because it's burnt. On the sides and then the inside. So you're buying it. You burn your fucking time. And then you can't go down on your woman and eat her pussy. Then she gets pissed at you. And then you're out on the doghouse. You're not even in the doghouse. You're on top of the doghouse. Because she took that fucking shit too. And the divorce that you get. Because if a woman says you can't eat your pussy anymore. You're getting divorced. So he's got to live on top of the doghouse. Because even the dog says. Even I could do that. You ever heard the phrase. Sleepy dogs lie. I'm gonna lie in her tits. Because you can't do your job. And I got a ton. Yeah thank you gladiator 2. Fuck you. You bitch. The film stars Paul Mistel. I mean that sounds like a damn drug. Paul Mistel. Did you taste some Paul Mistel? Not lately. Pedro Pascal. Denzel Washington. Connie Nielsen comes back from the first film. Peter Mensah. Who sadly is not in it that much. It takes place 16 years after the first film. At this point Rome is under two emperors. Who pretty much two 20s. I'm gonna call them 21 and 22. It's supposed to be brothers twins. But they're 20s to me. So it's run by a bunch of 20s. And Rome's gonna invade North Africa. Which weren't they invading other people in the first film. And you barely get to know who the hell Paul Mistel is. You spend like 30 seconds him feeding some fucking chickens. Thinking he's gonna choke one. We see his wife doing some laundry. Or putting up some clothes. Then they're ready to fight. They gotta go fight. And then we don't even see Paul. Paulie. Do much fighting. Gets his ass hit pretty quickly. His woman gets killed. By the Romans. Led by Pedro Pascal. Which you know what? I did like him in The Mandalorian. Do I think he needs to be cast in every other fucking movie ever made? No. I do not think he fits as Mr. Fantastic. I did not see The Last of Us TV show. Was never requested it. He says a lot of stupid stuff online. Denzel wan- Anyway. They take over. They grab. Paul Mistel. Peter Mensah. Bunch of other people as slaves. Bring them over. Pretty quickly Denzel sees the guy fight. Because the slaves are made to fight feral baboons. And long story short. Denzel sees him. Lights him. Picks him up. You don't fight for me. And hey. What do you want? You want to kill Pedro Pascal? You stick with me buddy. You keep fighting. One day you don't fight Pedro Pascal and get your revenge. For the death of your wife. That's most of the film. Do you get a sense of deja vu? If so. There's a reason for that. And just. Number one. We're rushed into the gladiator aspects. It's like they knew the story sucked. So get to the gladiator stuff as soon as possible. The story is not engaging. There's no reason to. There's no intriguing validating reason to give a flying fuck about Paul Mistel's character. I'm sorry to the dude. Maybe you're better than other stuff. Maybe it's the script. Maybe because really doesn't give a crap anymore. Didn't give a shit anymore. You were. The Barton Bend version of Russell Crowe. That's what you were. You're the Russell Crowe. That was on sale for five bucks. Because they didn't really. Get the DVD away from me. Sell for five bucks. There was no presence to him. There's no star factor to him. Nothing about him made you go. Man this guy's doing gold places. Or this guy I'm fixated on. Or this guy. I'm drawn into him. I'm drawn into his plight. I'm drawn into his. Drama. What's going on with them. No you don't give a rat's ass. You're not gonna give a fuck. The CGI is got. What why has CGI regressed? I think it's because. What they do is they hire these artists. And then they give them this unbelievable deadline. So they rush it. And then because they're rushing it. And it's like they think if you just add more people. Automatically makes it better. But then. I'm guessing. I would guess this is quick turnaround. And then the CGI comes off as dog shit. Or a CGI artist treated like crap. And they're like well I'm getting paid. But they're treating me so much crap. Fine I won't do the best I can. Because fuck you. Whatever the case may be. It was also horrendous looking stuff. The baboons. Again I could put on a Resident Evil video game. On my fucking PlayStation 3. And it will look better than this. I'm not even exaggerating. It looks awful. If I want baboons. I want Shakima. Where they use a real damn one. Shakima. Looks horrendous. Looks like fucking garbage. And all Paul Mistel bites him. And chokes him out. Might as well just bite him in the ass. And bend him over. And put his dick in. Put his salami in the monkey. Spank the monkey and all. Might as well do that. But instead chokes the bitch. And chokes the monkey. Chokes the baboon. It's ugly CGI looking. Dorf does CGI. He got tired of golf. So once he's done choking his monkey. Pier Mensa. Who we see in like three scenes. He's already dead. Well that's a waste. That's a good actor. Most people remember him from 300. This is madness. And then Gerard Butler. This is Sparta. And kicks him down the hole. The guy who just kicked is Peter Mensa. I'm like why? Like this is a good actor. Why are you wasting him like this? He's dead already? What a fucking waste. Because you're not gonna remember a single other person. That Paul Mistel befriends. All the other slaves. You're not gonna remember a damn single one of them. I dare you to. I double dare you. It cuts to Pedro Pascal. He's not that bad of a guy folks. He's leading the Romans. He's doing what he's told. He's married to Connie Nielsen. But he has a plan that he's gonna get his army to go up against the emperors. And get rid of them. And bring Rome back to where it needs to be. I said well then do it already. Denzel Washington buys him. Now Denzel. I know he worked with Ridley Scott before. In what was it? American Gangster. With Russell Crowe. So he worked with Russell Crowe. He worked well. He worked with Russell Crowe in Virtuosi. But he worked with Ridley Scott on American Gangster. So I'm sure he wanted to work with Ridley Scott again. And he gets to be a guy higher up in the Roman. Which I'm sorry. I don't know my Roman history. But let me ask people. Were black guys really up there in the upper echelon of the Roman Empire? I'm sincerely asking. Because from what I read up. The guy he's based on is a white guy. And supposedly there was a scene where he kissed a guy. And they cut it out. And Denzel was crying about it on YouTube. Or I saw on YouTube. He's someone's like. Who gives a shit. Greg you don't get to kiss a guy. Whoopty fucking do. My ass bleeds for you Denzel. I'm sorry. I like Denzel Washington. But he hasn't made a good movie in a long ass time either. I hate the Equalizer films. I don't think there's been a single good Equalizer movie. I liked a lot of his older films. The Virtuosity. And the Peloton Brief. And I don't love that one. But I do watch it. Virtuosity I think is underrated. Glory. But his recent stuff. No. I hope the paycheck cleared for you on this. There's a couple fight scenes. Which at times are okay. You know he's fighting a guy in a party. Because they want some action. And he's got to kill the guy and stab him. Him and others fight this guy. Who's riding a CGI rhino. And again. Isn't it sad that almost 25. Because the first was 2000 right. So almost 25 years ago. They could film scenes with more reality. Like real tigers. But for the advancement of almost 25 years. We got to go with horrible looking CGI rhinos. And people talk shit about Congo. At least I had real stuff in it. And good makeup effects. And good effects in general. But people talk shit about that movie for some reason. Congo beats the shit out of this movie. 10 times over. I'll tell that to anyone with a straight face. So they fight the stupid guy on the stupid looking CGI rhino. As long as they shove a horn up his ass. Who's anybody connected with this movie. He throws some dust. Wish it was cocaine. That I could sniff it. Or cocaine the rhino could sniff it. That'll be the new fucking movie. Cocaine Rhino. Hits the wall. Fights the guy. And I was thinking. Oh this could be like a decent fight. He's using a shield. And then it's over. Decapitates just like in the original. A lot of exposition. Spoiler alert. You find out that the lead guy. Is not just the son of Connie Nielsen. Who sent him away when he was a kid. He is also the son of Russell Crowe's character. Which is bullshit. Because you would think that'd be something that would have come up in the first fucking movie. What would give him something to fight for? Oh you still have a son. You have a son. And you can help raise them. So live bitch. But apparently Connie Nielsen was such a nice person. That didn't want to tell the guy he had a son. And if he if she did. He certainly didn't let on. Oh because they made that stuff out of their ass. But you want to be your own film. But you have to keep reminding people about Russell Crowe. Whether it be the beginning of the film. Whether it's this art style. The show a recap of the first film. Or oh that's Russell Crowe's shield. That's Russell Crowe's sword. That's his name on the wall. But his first part of his name is scratched out. Oh your father was a great guy. Yeah do you remind. Yeah remind people of a better movie over and over again. Because you can't stand on your own two feet. Because 80% of your plot. No scratch that. 90% of your plot is a fucking xerox of the original. The reason I say it's not a hundred is because. Oh Denzel's character. You find out he's manipulating everybody. So he's turning one brother. One Twinkie against the other Twinkie. When riots happen. He's manipulating so that the son's fighting Pedro Pastel. And whoever dies that will cause a riot. And then hey you blame the other guy. And I'll get in favor with him. And then I'll get that guy killed. And I'll be possibly emperor of Rome. Which I hate to be a bearer of bad news. Some of them were probably racist back then. Just saying. There were probably races back then. That would not have let you become a part of that. Hey I'm sorry. But truth fucking hurts. Not saying it's right. I'm saying that's history. Say well and there's like a scene where. They're in the Coliseum. And there's boats. And there's a bunch of fucking water. And there's sharks in there. Now I don't know if that's something they did back in the day. I honestly did not care to look it up. If it is. I'm curious how the hell they got the shark. Where did they find the shark? How the hell they bring that big sumbitch over. Let alone multiple. See that's the movie. The movie should be about in this time period. Finding a shark. Capturing sharks. Bringing them all the way over here. Making sure they don't die. And put them in the damn pond inside the Coliseum. I want to know what that movie is. Like a series version of Operation Dumbledrop. Operation Jaws Dump. Let's have that movie. There'll be a. And hell have it be a comedy with Denzel. And hell put fucking I don't know John Goodman. And I don't know fucking Andrew Dice Clay in it. Why not? I'll see that movie instead. Operation Dump Jaws. Come on with your claws out. I want Operation Dump Jaws now. God damn it. That probably would have made more money than this fucking movie did. Or I should say would be more profitable. Because you wouldn't need a big budget. You wouldn't need two to three hundred million dollars. And it's weird that it costs that much because all the effects look like shit. They look horrible. And the story sucks. What we know about the characters is what we're told by Connie Nielsen. So I guess that counts as your character development. Any other character you don't know just what about. The two Twinkies. You know that they do coke and they're assholes. Pedro Pastel. He's married to Connie Nielsen and he doesn't want to fight anymore. Denzel. He used to be a slave and he wants revenge and this is his way of doing it. Although him being able to manipulate. Anyway. It'd be all bullshit. It ends up with Pedro and Mestal fighting each other. And then they decide not to kill each other. And then Pedro lost so he gets a bunch of arrows in him. A riot happens. Denzel turns one Twinkie against the other Twinkie. That guy gets killed. Denzel rises in power. He's going to try to get Connie Nielsen killed. And Paul Mestal is going to protect her. But then he was able to help the other Gladiators. So they're coming out. But you barely know any of these other Gladiators. So you don't have any care about these people. They must be random NPCs of a fucking video game. Because you don't care. Random persons find random person find random person. I don't care. The fight scenes. There's nothing that I thought was a standout. Either the bad CGI got in the way. Like the baboons and the rhinos. Even the battle where there's sharks. There's like two or so people that get killed by the sharks. But it's mostly them in a boat dodging the other people. They ram into it. It felt like it went on for I don't know the exact time. I'm saying what it felt like. What it felt like was two minutes. Maybe it was longer. But I'm saying that's what it felt like. No one's going to remember those scenes. No one's going to remember those sequences. No one's going to go with shock and awe. Like oh my god. No one's going to remember the damn thing about this movie. They already don't. So the gladiators. They're fighting the guards. Denzel shoots an arrow. Kills Connie Nielsen. Paul's pissed. Runs after him. Somehow was able to get Pedro Pastel's ring. Says hey, work will be here. I'm going to fight Denzel. They have a little bit of a sword fight. Cuts Denzel's arm off. Kills him. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Rome's going to be united. And everything's hunty-funting-dory. So great. So what Russell Crowe could not be able to do. This guy's able to do. So hey, Russell Crowe. Sorry you were a pussy. What you thought you were going to do. It didn't matter. Because by the time this comes up. Rome is still under rule and tyranny and slavery. So what the fuck did Russell Crowe accomplish in the first movie? For those who are hardcore fans of the film, tell me. What did Russell Crowe's character accomplish in the first movie? Since by this time, less than 20 years later. Everything's not only back. Everything's back to square one. So it seems like he didn't do shit. He dumped his load. And Connie Nielsen, she had a kid. And then there was the kid who fixed everything. So I don't know how people in the first film feel about that. I mean, it pretty much makes the first film fucking pointless. If you think about it. I mean, you just say, well, he gets his revenge. And that's what it's about. Okay. You know, I remember the one point that was going to be a gladiator too. Where even the writer said, I'm just writing something. That I know will never see the light of day. It was like Russell Crowe comes back from the dead. And joins the Christians. And they fight the Romans. And then because it deals with the supernatural undead. Then at one point, like Russell Crowe's going through the crusades. And World War I. And Vietnam. And then it ends up at the Pentagon. Just about the whole cycle of bloodshed keeps going. And he's stuck in this forever loop of immortality. I don't say they're going. I know that sounds really dumb. But I would rather have seen that than this. Granted, the true answer is don't make anything. You don't need a sequel. Here's an idea. You don't need a sequel. If they ever follow that thought. You would have saved a lot of money. A lot of money. But they don't. And they burn their money. Give me the money. Give the people watching the money. We put it to better use. Instead, you waste it on bullshit. That no one's going to remember a year from now. This film was a bomb. It wasn't even that... I don't think it was that beloved by critics. And damn, Steepie ain't going to get any Oscar nods like the first film did. I can't remember. The first one, did it win some Oscars? I believe it did. I'm trying to remember. Gladiator. Oscars. Yeah, it was... It won a shit... Yeah. Yeah, it won Best Picture. And then... I... See, I forgot about it won Best Picture, right? I want to... I want to double check. Yeah, it won Best Picture. I forgot about that. And Russell Crowe won Best Actor Oscar. Let me tell you something. Pedro Mestal ain't get no awards. And Gladiator, too, ain't get no nomination. Well, it's the Oscars. They nominated Barbie and fucking Black Panther for Best Picture, so... I'll take back what I say. They'll nominate any bullshit. So... But fuck the Oscars. Who cares about that? So I don't know why I brought up in the first place, but... Again, I told you so for months and months. Exodus, Gods and Kings. Kingdom of Heaven. 1492. Robin Hood. The Last Duel. Napoleon. When he mates epic movies, they bomb. I warned you. I told you so. You did not listen. Now you lost a lot of money. Back to the day, people would have been fired. If you wanted to see the same film done over again, but just have a lot of crap CGI and a happier ending, and Denzel taking a paycheck, here's your sign. Good luck. With that said, thanks for watching. Take care. This movie sucks. Because the story, it just... Copy, paste from the first. There's nothing that gets you involved, gets you intrigued, gets you pulled in to the drama, the story, even the look. Because the look is just so fake digital looking. Not all, but so many people don't know how to make films anymore. It's like a goddamn video game at times. I love video games, but I'd rather play them than watch them. And sometimes that could work. If it's a Sonic the Hedgehog movie, where the character is CG, you're able to forgive that stuff. But they used to do epics back in the day, where they were like Ben-Hur from the 1950s. What specific year was Ben-Hur? Ben-Hur, 1959. How far have we gone? With that said, thanks for watching. Take care, and we'll see you guys later. Piss on this movie. Bye-bye.