Bridget Meets Mr Darcy | Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) | Big Screen Laughs

It all began on New Year's Day in my 32nd year of being single. Once again I found myself on my own and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet. Every year she tries to fix me up with some bushy-haired middle-aged boar and I feared this year would be no exception. There you are, dumpling. My mum, a strange creature from a time when a gherkin was still the height of sophistication. Third draw from the top, Una, under the mini gherkins. By the way, the Darcy's are here. They brought Mark with them. Ah, here we go. You remember Mark? Used to play in his paddling pool. He's a barrister. Very well off. No, I don't remember. He's divorced apparently. His wife was Japanese. Very cruel race. Now what are you going to put on? This. Oh, don't be silly, Bridget. You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz. Now run upstairs, laid out something lovely on your bed. Great. I was wearing a carpet. Here she is. Bye, little Bridget. Bye, Uncle Geoffrey. Had a drink? No. No? Come on then. Actually, not my uncle. Someone who insists I call him uncle while he gropes my arse and asks me the question dreaded by all singletons. So, how's your love life? Super. Thanks, Uncle G. Still no fellow then, eh? I don't know. You career girls can't put it off forever, you know. Tick tock, tick tock. Hello, Dad. Hello, darling. How's it going? Torture. Your mother's trying to fix you up with some divorcee. Human rights barrister. Pretty nasty beast, apparently. Ooh, ding dong. Maybe this time Mum had got it right. Come on. Why don't we see if Mark fancies a girl kid? Mark? Maybe this was the mysterious Mr. Right I'd been waiting my whole life to meet. Do you remember Bridget? Maybe not. She used to run around your lawn with no clothes on, remember? Uh, no. Not as such. Come and look at your gravy, Pam. I think it's going to need sieving. Of course it doesn't need sieving. Just stir it, Una. Yes, of course. I'll be right there. Sorry. Lumpy gravy calls. So? Are you staying at your parents' for New Year? Yes. You? Oh, no, no, no, no. I was in London at a party last night, so I'm afraid I'm a bit hungover. Wish I could be lying with my head in the toilet like all normal people. New Year's resolution. Drink less. Oh, and quit smoking. Oh. And keep New Year's resolutions. And, uh, stop talking total nonsense to strangers. In fact, stop talking full stop. Yes, well, perhaps it's time to eat. Apparently, she lives just around the corner from you. Mother, I do not need a blind date, particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, and dresses like her mother. Yummy. Turkey curry. My favourite. And that was it. Right there. That was the moment.