4 Things That Make Men Seem Creepy To Women

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan and in this video, we're going to be talking about things men do that make men seem creepy. So I recently did a video about a poll that I conducted on my community page here on YouTube where I was basically asking men about this fear of being creepy or why men are not approaching women and 65% of you at the time of doing the video said that you don't approach women at all or you're hesitant to because of this fear of being seen as creepy. So the main focus of that specific video was to go through that poll with you guys and kind of chat it out and also, you know, kind of highlight the reasons why men are not approaching women anymore, but I wanted to make another video really going into detail of what men are doing that women are finding creepy outside of just being unattractive or not her type, but we're going to cover that too. So the first thing here that I want to talk about, I want to get this out of the way because I know a lot of you are probably thinking it, she thinks you're unattractive. So in the last video I did, I briefly discussed how women have kind of watered this creepy term down and kind of just made it into a, if I don't find this man attractive or he's not my type, he's automatically creepy to me. Listen guys, I don't make the rules or control how every woman on the planet feels, but unfortunately, this is something that I do think is becoming more common and something I've noticed a lot. Women have just slapped a creepy label on any man they find unattractive or someone that they deem as below them. Is this every woman out there? Absolutely not, but I personally think that we should save the creepy comments for the interactions that are actually creepy and stop being so dang overly sensitive and dramatic because someone introducing themselves is not creepy even if you don't find them attractive. Someone looking at you for two seconds or glancing your direction because they think you're beautiful is not creepy even if you find them unattractive, but I digress. Sadly, I'm not able to change the mind or natural response from every woman on planet earth. I wish I could, but I'm not a puppeteer. So we've just got to work with what we got here and I really don't say this to hurt your feelings or to be mean. I say this because I care deeply and I don't want you guys to feel resentment or bitterness or hopeless. So of course, you are not for every woman out there and that's okay. There will be women who just because they don't find you attractive, they think you're weird, they think you're creepy. It is what it is. We can't change those ladies. Let them do them. You don't even need to bother with it, but one thing I will say is that you do need to start putting effort into your appearance and the way that you present yourself and your mental health. Not even for women, but for you. This will probably increase how attractive you are and also your confidence, which is a win-win. So again, I do want to highlight I understand that this is frustrating. I will also say this. I'm going to let you in on a little secret from a female perspective here that I am not proud of from my species, okay, but I need to tell you because I think it's important. I think there are a lot of women who like to say, oh yeah, he was so creepy or oh yeah, he wouldn't leave me alone because it gives them a bit of an ego boost. Is this every time that they call a man creepy? No, because I've had men actually do creepy things to me. We're going to talk about later in the video and that was not to boost my ego. That was just stating a fact. However, I do think sometimes if a woman does not find you attractive and you ask her out or you know you come up to her and introduce yourself, she'll be like, oh yeah, he wouldn't leave me alone or oh my gosh, yeah, all these creepy men because it gives them an ego boost, right? This is just how we are. It makes them feel good to be desired and they secretly get enjoyment in a sick way out of saying he was creepy or he wouldn't leave me alone. Sometimes, again, not all the time. So we can look at this one two ways. There's a part of it that's out of your control because again, you're not for everyone. Not everyone's going to think you're attractive. Some of you watch and think I'm attractive. Some of you watch and think I'm ugly. It is what it is. We all have personal preferences, right? The same thing goes for women. Not every woman is going to find you attractive and that's okay. I'm sure there are women out there who think Zac Efron and George Clooney are not attractive. Maybe. I don't know. Or we can look at it in the way of, okay, how can I take accountability for myself and make myself the best version of myself? I still might not be for everyone at the end of that, but I'm bound to, you know, make some strides or have a positive result if I put in effort and make myself more attractive. I'm not telling you to get plastic surgery. I'm not telling you to spend an arm and a leg, but there are many things you can do that you do have control over that will make you a more attractive person or more appealing to the opposite sex or just in general. And I've done a ton of videos on how to make yourself more attractive physically, mentally, emotionally, all of the above. So I'm not going to talk about it all today because I've covered it extensively and I've got a lot more to cover in this video. So go check those out if you haven't already. The second thing here that makes men come across as creepy is she's uninterested and you continue to chase her. And listen, I can understand why a lot of you misread signs and take things the wrong way because a lot of the time women tend to send mixed signals or they'll let you down easy because they don't want to hurt your feelings or they like the attention and lead you on. But I'm going to let you in on this little tip that will save you a lot of time and misreading signals. I really do believe if you watch her actions, what she does instead of maybe what she says, you will see things so much more clearly. If it's not a heck yes, it should be a heck no. And listen, I really try to give you guys the benefit of the doubt but there are some times when women tell you clear as day that they are not interested by actually telling you that they're not interested or they have a boyfriend or whatever it is they tell you that they don't like you. They make it very obvious and you continue to chase or pester or hit them up. And this is when it starts to become creepy because you're not picking up on the social cues or the blatant her telling you that she's not interested. And it makes you come across obsessive. It comes across creepy because when you don't know when to remove yourself or walk away, it comes across very needy and clingy and desperate or obsessive, which is the next point I'm going to talk about. And all these behaviors, needy, clingy, desperate, are often all falling into the creepy category. My next point I'm going to talk about is obsessive behavior. Going off of my chasing and clingy point here, sometimes this can become obsessive. Blowing up her phone and sending her a million DMs without any response. Not accepting no as an answer and continuing to harass her or contact her. Creepy. Going back to the constant DMs, unwanted contact on social media. As you all can probably assume, I receive a ton of messages from men that I don't know and men that I've never met before because I do this for a living. And most of the messages are not creepy. Even if I'm not into the person, even if a person is giving me a compliment and being nice, most of these are not creepy. I'm going to talk about when it gets creepy later in the video, so stick around until then. I'm going to give you examples too. Obviously, I think it goes without saying that physical and online stalking is included under this point as well. I don't feel like I need to say that, but just so that we're all on the same page. Things like reaching out to her on Instagram if you didn't match with her on Tinder, but you saw her profile. You didn't match for a reason. Let it be. That's a little weird. My next one here is weird body language. Body language is important. Body language is powerful. I've done many videos on the importance of body language, so make sure you've got your body language in check. There are definitely some things that men can do around women that make them seem a little bit creepy in the body language department. I know sometimes this can be tough if you're a little bit nervous or shy or introverted or you have social anxiety and things like that, so we're giving a little bit of room here to be human. It's okay if you're not perfect. It's okay if you do these things from time to time, but it's just something to keep in mind. Things like not making eye contact at all, having your hands in your pockets, or acting skittish. Yeah, 9-1-1. Don't be weird. The alarms are going off. Staring at her. I think this is the biggest one. If you've been staring at her for a minute straight without looking away, this is creepy, guys. Either approach her and introduce yourself or look away for crying out loud. And another one here that I think we can include in body language because it does involve your body would be touching her. So in the last video I made about this topic, I told you guys a story about when I was at the gym one time, so I'm going to tell you guys here again in case you missed it. So back when I was in high school, I went to the YMCA. I was there all the time. I would see the same people over and over again, and there was one time where I was sitting on the floor doing an ab circuit, and I was like in between exercises, sitting up, like hugging my knees, looking at my phone or something, and a man comes up behind me and starts massaging my shoulders and talking to me. Was this man attractive? Yes, he was. He was what we would consider to be a dilf. He was a hot, older man. And I'm telling you that detail because sometimes no matter how attractive you are, you can still do creepy things. And I think that is something that the internet does not accept. I think there are a lot of men who think attractive guys can do no wrong, and even if they do something creepy, women won't think it's creepy because the guy's attractive. But let me tell you something. This guy was attractive, and it was still creepy. If I don't know you, I've never talked to you before, do not come up behind me while I'm sitting on the floor at the gym and start massaging my shoulders. That's weird. I felt uncomfortable. A boundary was crossed. It was weird. And again, no matter what he would have looked like, it would have been creepy. Another thing I think men do a lot, like out in public situations at like a bar or a party or something along those lines, is touch you when they're walking past you. I can think of a couple times specifically. I did not go out much in college. I'm a homebody. I don't like to party. I don't drink. I don't like to go out. But I can think of a couple times when I was out and men would walk up behind me and put their hand on my lower back to pass me. You don't need to do that. It's weird. It's creepy. And again, no matter how attractive you are, please don't touch me. And the last point I'm going to talk about today is inappropriate comments. As I had mentioned earlier in the obsessive behavior point, I receive a lot of messages from men online. Most of them are not creepy at all. I would say 98, 97% of them are not creepy. But some of them definitely are and it has nothing to do with what the person looks like. It is creepy when men make very sexual remarks towards me or say something inappropriate. Or when men send me porn and dick pics in my Instagram DMs. It's creepy and it's gross point blank. I don't care if the message is coming from a hot celebrity or from a guy who lives in his mom's basement. It's creepy every time. Being sexual with someone right away often comes across very creepy to most women. And of course there are women out there on Tinder looking for hookups. Sometimes they make it very obvious on their profiles what it is they're looking for. So you know, use your brain. But I would still not recommend being very sexual and inappropriate right away with someone. It comes across really strange. Creating sexual tension and intimacy is something that you have to kind of work towards and build up with time. The first message that you send to a girl the first time you talk to her ever should not be something sexual. So I have one more example for you guys that is not super inappropriate but it's something that I see a lot of men do surprisingly. And 99.9% of the time it always makes a girl feel uncomfortable. And that is saying to her, where's my hug? Excuse me? Do not ever say this to a or someone that you just met or even someone that you know. It's freaking weird. And if she wanted to hug you, she would. I used to have this guy friend in high school that really liked me, but I had a boyfriend at the time and it was completely inappropriate for him to be acting this way and saying these things. But anytime I would see him, he'd be like, where's my hug? And it always made me feel uncomfortable to the point where I didn't even want to hang out with him or be around him because he made me feel so uncomfortable. And again, not saying that because the way he looked, he was an attractive guy. It just made me feel uncomfortable and it was inappropriate and shouldn't have been said. And I've actually seen a lot of dating coaches and guys online recommend asking girls, where's my hug? And I think that's some of the worst advice I've ever seen. I know a lot of you say, don't ask a fish how to catch a fish, but I surely wouldn't be taking advice from someone that was telling you to say, where's my hug? And I'm only giving you guys examples of things that have happened to me in the past, just so that you guys can kind of see things a little bit more clearly and understand that it's a lot more common than you would think. Sometimes we do things and say things and we don't even realize it's weird or inappropriate or comes across creepy. Um, so I think just, you know, taking a step back, looking at yourself, if you do the things on this list, maybe don't do them anymore. You know, take what you need, leave what you don't. These are just my recommendations as a woman, giving you a woman's perspective on this topic. And again, I do want to mention that I understand the whole, she finds you unattractive thing is a big one. And sadly, again, I cannot change the minds or natural response from every woman on the planet. I hope there are women who see this and stop, you know, calling all men creepy who they don't find attractive, because that's certainly not true. Of course, as I highlighted in the other four points, there are things men do that make them come across as creepy, but you just not finding someone attractive or not being into someone does not automatically make them creepy. And I really think we're doing ourselves a huge disservice by trying to put a label on everything and kind of playing the boy who cried wolf. You guys can let me know what you think down below, but I think we should personally save the creepy comments for the people and the interactions that are genuinely creepy, not just someone that you're not into. But all right, guys, that is all I have for this video. If you liked it or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. As always, thank you all so much for watching, and I will see you all next time.