almost adulting ☕️ productive days in my life, what failing feels like, living alone & work days

My like student identity was absolutely I'm the self-proclaimed best gift giver in my family and I just started seriously christmas shopping this week So this is the current situation. At least I have wrapping paper and tape and all of that But thing needs to be christmas ready. So wrapped with ribbon and bows so i'm just winding down with a little bit of youtube and I have a feeling that this one roll of Wrapping paper isn't going to be enough because I don't know if I've ever shared this But I used to do like professional gift wrapping at the mall for people who are like shopping and stuff There's like a booth where people would bring their gifts and they would get them properly wrapped So this is like my time to shine So This is a chawan that garbo threw for me in glaze These are new glazes actually and I think it is so cute and it has a little spout which you definitely need in a chawan This is the matching bubble mug Good morning, guys I finally have a free day to work on my own individual project and some freelance work that I recently took on because I worked Yesterday and then I work tomorrow and the day after that. So this is my little ketchup day I'm up earlier and I made a little matcha. So let's be productive It's already january I feel like I haven't done anything I like made my mood board I saw my friends and I worked that's literally It but anyways, I know january marks the start of a new semester for a lot of you guys And that's why i'm excited to be working with fiat for a second time the last time I work with them So many of you messaged and commented that it has been a game changer for you And if you didn't know fiat is a free study tool that can help you practice active recall with their smart study feature And this is my biggest study tip that is evidence-based that active recall or like active studying is obviously Better than traditional study method Which is more passive like rereading your notes or simply writing things down from a lecture where active studying is engaging with the actual course Content and forcing yourself to apply the knowledge that you've just learned So fiat's smart study feature helps you skip the passive steps and get straight into active studying So i'll just show you guys what that looks like with an example So this is what fiat looks like you can create a new study kit Organic chemistry was one of the hardest subjects that I took in first year And you can see there's chemistry biochemistry and other things. Let's go with Biochemistry and you can describe your test paste in specific terms or upload documents or powerpoints from your course I'm just going to describe my test So this is an example of a multiple choice question and fiat will always give you real-time feedback just like this This is an example of a true or false question and there again you have that real-time feedback Now this is an example of a select all that apply and here you can see the breakdown and explanation again And it still blows my mind that this resource is completely free You can thumbs up the question. You can also change the difficulty to hard Now this is an example of a short answer and now this is an example of a graph question I have not done this kind of chemistry in a long time And you can always go to your question history and sort by questions you got right versus wrong So if we want to look at wrong Then you're able to identify what needs work and fiat has so many other features like flashcards games and practice tests I highly recommend that you guys check it out If you're a student, like I said, it's completely free and has changed the game for a lot of people I know and i'll have a link in the description box below if you want to check it out My sister is coming over so i'm just going to make a quick little snacky like cheese board with some things that I got from Eataly, this is my favorite cheese. It's pecorino al tart Tooth i'm not even gonna say that name and then I picked up some cheddar as well Two types of meat salami and prosciutto some salted crackers and strawberries and I think I have some tinned mussels or oysters Let me check I have these tinned oysters that I got just from a regular grocery store. So i'm gonna open this too Together so that there's at least a little more Order Structure, you know, so it doesn't look so chaotic That's the only advice I have for this board Whatever I think it looks fine Good morning guys, it's around 8 45 right now and I have a full shift at 10 So i'm just trying to get some work done at my desk before I actually have to head into work I'm not taking any formal pharmacy school courses this term So that'll be good to take on some other work outside of the pharmacy and i'm really pushing myself to do this before work rather than after because I feel like I get so Lazy and tired. I just want to eat dinner and read or like play a video game when I get back to the pharmacy So let's get working So Let's talk about failing Okay, that was unnecessarily dramatic But I got you guys to ask me a few questions about uni and pharmacy I posted this on my private spam account a while ago because it was just perfectly described what I was feeling And so i'll just play it right now I thought I was stronger than this, but obviously i'm not so I was on the train home from my first class of The course that I am retaking so i've already taken the course and I said this only two or three times I can literally count how many times i've shared it because before each time that I did my anxiety was so high I was so afraid of judgment not from just people on the internet But I've already received judgment from people in my class and that was a lot to handle mentally and emotionally and I never really felt Am I gonna cry No, i'm not only until I was halfway through retaking the course So 10 months later when I found out I had to retake the class and I failed the final exam like I was really Struggling mentally. I don't really know how else to describe it And I felt this way because i'm a very critical person already, especially when it comes to myself and like my work So I was disappointed in myself. I was embarrassed like I would look in the mirror and I would be Embarrassed and looking back. I wish that I had documented more about what I was feeling It might have helped some of you guys get over this feeling of embarrassment or like being disappointed in yourself And we might have been able to like reshift our focus earlier on because I genuinely couldn't get over this whole idea Like i'm a failure until I started taking the course again, which was eight months later so for over half of 2024 my like student identity was absolutely Fractured and I didn't know if I wanted to be a pharmacist anymore I felt like I wanted this degree, but this degree didn't want me But after lots of therapy talking to my sister my closest closest friends I was able to kind of like box it up neatly in my head and just be grateful that I get a second chance to Even retake it like i'm not kicked from the program that kind of thing The biggest emotions I was feeling when retaking this course was embarrassment and fear of people Judging me or gossiping about me which they ended up doing and that's life You can't control what other people are going to say about you I've had to build up a thick skin because of comments and opinions of people on the internet But when it comes to people in your city in your class gossiping about you That's a different kind of hurt and skin that you need to build up. I don't know if that makes sense I've been more transparent on my spam account about retaking my class So a lot of you guys asked how did my class go? I actually did really well on the midterm and decently on the final so I did pass Pharmacokinetics that is a course that I had to retake and i'm just so relieved that it is over How many years of school do I have left? I have two and a half technically, but the program is four years Do you think i'd be too late to start another program? I'm 21. I don't think you're late at all I feel like when it comes to professional school programs or masters You have lots of mature students and if anything those students do better because they have more work experience life experience And they truly know what they want to do a few of you asked advice for people Retaking failed courses and I would say just don't do the course the first way that you did it because clearly Something did not go right the first time. That's definitely what I learned I completely changed the approach that I took to the course. I redid so many of the practice problems I did the lectures over and over and asked so many questions to the prof so I could really Truly understand the concepts and mine was where every math course and I know that i'm not the strongest at math So obviously I need to do lots of practice And so one of the most supportive people in my life actually took all of my math problems and rewrote them made them super cute and fun and engaging so I could keep practicing my Calculations and not be so put off when it came to assessments because obviously the numbers are going to be different if you keep Doing the same problem the exact same problem over and over again You're not really exercising or applying your knowledge in new ways So that is definitely what I would recommend when it comes to problem-based courses If you're retaking a more knowledge-based course, I would honestly recommend getting a tutor to go over key lecture concepts So you're never behind and you're always clear on what you are expected to know and that you understand all the concepts to a t the reason why I want to make this dnm is because I felt very isolated and ashamed and embarrassed and all those shitty feelings when It really didn't have to be like that doesn't have to be such a defining Piece of you because you are so much more than a singular class How many classes are you going to take in your ******* life? You know what I mean? What the hell yeah now i'm going to do my other work because life moves on, you know