The Art of Slow Living

I always wanted to grow as fast as possible, just like all these entrepreneurs you see on social media. For about four months I did not have a life outside of work. I started trying to post consistently on YouTube and IG, created weekly shorts, created my website, my school community, email newsletter, DM automation, tried cold DMing, all while having a full-time job. I was super motivated for a while, but then I started to burn out. There were too many things I needed to do and not enough time. I felt like I wasn't getting any results from my efforts and I was starting to resent my work and the people I was comparing myself to. I now have been asking myself for a long time, why does everyone seem to be progressing faster than me? But what is it that I'm chasing? For as long as I can remember, I used to say I was pursuing freedom and peace. At the time that meant little more than time and financial freedom. I think I was too young to understand what the words actually meant. I distorted the word, cheapened it and was left with a husk of its original meaning. I've been pursuing that incomplete vision for years now. That has led me down the path of impatience, torment, distraction and regret. Better people knew that freedom and peace meant something different from what I think. And what do I think? Do I think? No. Why think when I can let others think for me? Why look inward to find the answers in that place full of darkness and deceit, when I can find comfort in the light of the known? There is no fast life, only to death. And I must learn to appreciate it while it lasts. I must put railroads to my thoughts and clarity to my actions. I am missing something big, something centric to the show. And only in peace and acceptance can I find true freedom. Freedom from myself, freedom from others, freedom from fear. As a videographer I have followed trends, tried pleasing the algorithm and pleasing all these gurus with their generic advice. I saw what people had that I lacked and tried to get it as soon as possible, because other people have done it. I think there never has been as many 21 year old millionaires as there is now, if there really are. And some are, some aren't. But I'm not seeing the whole picture by just seeing what they want me to see. I recently started following people that aligned more with my artistic side rather than the business one, and it felt like I was finally seeing in colors again. From the way they think about life, to the way they decorate their apartments, it feels like comparing 3D to 2D. From seeing many real life examples close to me, I realized that many outwardly successful people are not who they seem to be. And what does success even mean? The answer to that question never appeared to be clearer than now, and that is exactly why I believe it has never been further from the truth. Life is not really a battle, unless you want it to be. But it can just as well be this beautiful gift meant to be savored. When was the last time you really enjoyed a meal by just chugging it in all at once? So what do you want to do? What would you do for the rest of your life, even if you didn't get paid? Do that. Do it for the love of it, not for the money. Because in my experience, that is the fastest way to start hating something. Be ready to spend the rest of your life doing that, because chances are, you will, even if you become quote on quote successful. When being an influencer wasn't really a thing, people used to create YouTube channels and Vine channels to have fun, to share their passions. Nowadays, there's almost a roadmap predefined on how to make it big on social. It started to be teached in formal education, if you decide to study marketing for example, and there's thousands of courses out there showing you the ropes. But at the same time, we forgot the reason every Gen Zero wanted to become an influencer in the first place. If we're constantly optimizing to upload one reel a day and two YouTube videos a week for a normal person working a nine to five job, you either have to give up your life or produce pretty mediocre content that doesn't take you long to do. It's hard to be proud of that as an artist. For me, there is this constant struggle between the artist and business mindset. And in the last years, I've been leaning more and more on the business side. I'm not saying anyone is better than the other. The business mind keeps the artist's mind in check. But in this line of work, the product must come from the artist. This is an important distinction that I'm just now beginning to understand. It's a completely different feeling when what you're doing is the end in and of itself, instead of it just being another cog in a never ending machine. Art fills you up, money only leaves you wanting more. Money is extremely important, and I must learn to deal with it in a healthy way. But just like happiness, it must be a byproduct of doing what I love instead of the end goal. Also, this lust for money makes you think it's justifiable to leave everything else behind for now, so you can start enjoying your life at a later stage. Unbalance is explicitly promoted. Primal human needs are put on a pedestal, while our higher self is forgotten. How sick is this? You can start enjoying your life at any stage, you don't need to wait for anything or anyone. Don't just fast forward your life to then realize that you haven't lived it. Create things true to yourself and slow down, or you might not notice life passing by.