We Spent a Week on the Spirit Airlines or Ryanair of Cruise Lines: AVOID!

If you're easily offended and don't like people having negative opinions, well, turn off this video right now. Because, oh boy, the cruise line we're on right now has got to be one of the worst cruise lines and cruise ships we've ever been on. Avoid at all costs. If Ryanair and Spirit Airlines did a cruise line, this would definitely be it. I've had enough, just get me off this blooming ship. From horrendous service, barely any included food, to not sleeping because there's so much noise. Join us on a cruise line that we will never ever sail again. Trust me, it's that bad. This video is brought to you by Squarespace. Well, ahoy there cruisers. Yes, welcome back on the Costa Toscana. We're on our giant balcony but all is not good in the world right now because we did not sleep very well. Not sure if you can hear it right now but there's banging music upstairs. It's bloody eight o'clock in the morning. What the heck's going on? Let's go in. I'm going to tell you more and update you what we think about our cabin on board. Our suite. Yes, so welcome to our suite at the back of the ship. Now the suite has actually been okay. It's nice and big. The only thing that I'm not a massive fan of after almost a week on board. Just those walls guys. It does feel like I'm in like a kid's circus room or something. Now all of the cabins on board have that motif and those colors. So it doesn't matter what cabin you're in, you're going to get that. Bed, hard as a blooming rock. But like I said, the noise has been the biggest problem. So basically there's this noise all day. For some unknown insane reason, Costa chose to put a kids play area just right here above us. A big play area. So until about 11, 12 at night and then very early in the morning about 6 a.m. We have kids playing up there and it sounds like a bloody elephant stampede. It really does. It keeps waking us up. On top of that, we've got two sets of loud really pumping music. One from above where the screen is and one from down below on the promenade deck. We just really haven't slept in three or four nights now. Which is making us feel a little bit insane. Good morning David. Happy sunshine day. And we're pretending it's a sunshine day even though we've got lack of sleep. We did report it to the crew as well. I don't know if we've mentioned that before. We actually had a crew member come up and stand in the room and listen. And they completely said oh yeah it's really noisy. We'll see what we can do. But I mean apart from completely remove the kids area or maybe chuck every single kid off the ship. There's nothing they can really do. It's not the crew's fault. It's the design of the ship. We asked to be moved if there was any other cabins available. But the crew just kind of said no that's it. C'est la vie. There's nothing else we can do really. Just kind of got a deal with it. So yeah we've wasted six thousand dollars on this blummin cruise guys. Like we said at the beginning if you don't like people complaining. We are going to complain about this one. And we're not going to hold back because we have a lot of thoughts. But first things first. We're going to go for some breakfast in Le Buffet. And let's see what's on offer there and grab some food shall we. I'm blummin starving so let's head off. So first of all let's talk about the buffet. We've just been into the buffet. Now overall the food on this cruise ship in general isn't really that bad. It's everything around it that's the problem. So that buffet is just completely and utterly chaotic all of the time. It is absolutely nuts. It's like dodgem cars. Bumper cars with people pushing in front of you. Pushing you out of the way. Now the big problem is that it's all crew service. So everything is behind glass windows. So you can't serve yourself. Which we do like. But there's barely any crew at all. And the buffet is just always so busy that you've just got a line for absolutely everything. And it takes ages. Then you've got the people trying to push in and bump past you. And scream over the top of you. So basically just going to get some sausages and bacon. Takes like seven or eight minutes. Then you've got to go to the egg station. That takes another 10 minutes. Then if you want some bread and things like that it takes another five minutes. And then you've got to go and get your knives and forks. Which aren't on the tables. Which are at the other side of the buffet. And then if you want a coffee. Oh my gosh the queues there were huge. So we haven't even bothered. Anyway I went for a bit of a full English slash should we say Mediterranean breakfast. It actually looks pretty good guys. I'm going to go first in with the sausage and try the sausage test. Now these look a little bit skimpy actually. Let's have a little try shall we. It looks a little bit brown as well. I don't know what that is. It tastes like salami. It's absolutely freezing cold. This is the problem. Every single time we've been to the buffet. And we'll get to that a little bit later on. To why we've been the buffet. Because there's nowhere else. It's just freezing cold. Absolutely freezing cold. Now I've got some hash brown as well. Looks very very very greasy and stodgy. Let's have a try. It's a little bit greasy. Now the eggs definitely look like powdered eggs. They're not real eggs. They're a bit sloppy as well. But everything's just freezing cold. So I'm not mourning about the quality of food. Because it's actually not that bad. It really isn't. And that's something we read a lot about. That the food was terrible. But it's actually been really okay. It's just that it's freezing cold and there's no choice at all. Even sat out here guys. There's people smoking everywhere. We'll talk a little bit about that later on as well. This isn't a smoking area. People vaping and smoking. I can smell it. Just not a fan. You're gonna have a grumpy Ben today guys. I'm really sorry. I'm very tired. So I'm not in the best of moods today. And I'm usually a very happy optimistic person. But when I haven't had my morning sausage and my cup of joe. It's gonna put me in a mood all day. So I'm back from the zoo. And I've just popped to the buffet to get my stuff. They've actually closed half the buffet and it's only one hour early. So it's even more chaotic in there. I got some pastries. Because I thought I'll join the continental selection. The continental people on board. Because this is what they do. I'm actually kind of disappointed. We know from MSC cruises that the Italians love their breakfast desserts. And the cakes are usually amazing. These are all quite tiny and a little bit underwhelming. But let's give it a go shall we. The Madeira cake is actually okay. Nice soft texture. A little bit of vanilla flavor. Pastries look underwhelming though. They feel very very dodgy. They look terrible David for an Italian bakery as well. Not flaky at all. Extremely stodgy and extremely dry as well. And then there's also a little tartlet as well. That looks quite nice. That's actually quite nice. So like Ben said. The food's okay. It's not the best food I've ever had on a cruise line. It's just fine. The food. It's the selection is not... There's not much. It's not a huge selection. It is continental though. So that's why it's lots of like... You do have your English breakfast selection. But then lots of cakes, hams and meats and cheeses. So not a huge selection. It's just that chaos guys. It's horrendous. It's not a nice experience going to that buffet. Because once you've even got your food you probably can't find a table. And if you do find a table it's probably got rubbish all over it. Because there's not enough crew cleaning anything up. It's possibly the worst buffet experience as a whole I've ever had on a cruise line. Oh you want to know something really funny. We got told off the other night. Because we'll explain in a minute why places are not open or there isn't much choice. But we got told off for taking food out of the buffet to our room. Because we're in a suite. Guess what? Room service is not included in the price. Even if you're in a suite and paid like $6,000. Which is crazy. You have to pay extra for it. It's a la carte and it's really expensive. But strictly no food or drink is allowed to be taken outside of the buffet. Which is absolutely crazy. I haven't seen that on any other cruise ship. And you do get told off. We got told off. I was so angry I just handed them the plates back and walked off. I was absolutely fuming guys. Paid all of that money and we're not allowed to take our food where we want to take it. Absolutely crazy. And you might be thinking well just eating the buffet like a normal person. There was absolutely no bloody tables left. Every single table was taken. So what am I supposed to do? Stand in the corner and eat it? As you can tell really not happy about this. Anyway let's go grab a coffee and talk about some more things shall we? So following on from the chaos of the buffet. Is the chaos of the rest of the ship. I don't know if you can experience it in the background. If you can see it in the background. But the whole ship is just complete chaos all the time. It's just such a trial trying to do anything on here. Getting a coffee. We went to the bar to be told not table service only. We've came to a table but we still can't get served. It's been about 20 minutes. There's one person serving about 75 people. Yeah it's just complete and utter chaos everywhere all the time. And it's just so cramped and claustrophobic everywhere. I'm just constantly bumping into people all the time. So yeah and you might be seeing all this morning. But guys we've got the most expensive drinks package. We've got the My Drinks Plus. Which is the big drinks package that includes absolutely everything. But trying to get a drink especially on a sea day like today. Is just absolutely nigh on impossible. So we're just going to be sat here for hours. Another thing as well is that there really isn't much on either. At the moment on a sea day they're actually rehearsing in the main atrium area. Now this is the main atrium area where everybody is sat right now. But they're doing booming rehearsals. How ridiculously stupid is that? Why not put on an actual show but rehearsing? It's just ridiculous and it's really noisy. And we're hearing people talk over the loudspeakers. People screaming and shouting. If you're looking for a way to stand out and succeed online. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform that's perfect for you. One of the coolest things about Squarespace is how easy they make it to sell content. Directly from your website. Whether it's online courses, blogs, videos or memberships. You can easily put your content behind a paywall and earn recurring revenue. Managing payments is also a breeze with Squarespace payments. Getting set up is quick and easy. So you can start receiving payments right away. Plus they support a variety of popular payment methods. Like Klarna, Apple Pay, Afterpay and more. And when it comes to building your website. You don't need any design or coding skills at all. Squarespace's new design intelligence feature combines 20 years of design experience with advanced AI technology. To help you create a personalized website that's truly your own. We've been using Squarespace for years now and honestly we can't recommend it enough. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com forward slash benanddavid to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Everybody sounds really aggressive and loud and pushy. And it just isn't a lovely relaxing atmosphere like it should be. But yeah we paid for this drinks package. Which came included as part of our suite. And we're just not even able to get drinks. Now I can't see anybody serving drinks at all. So God knows how long we're going to be here. I'm just absolutely blumming desperate for a coffee David. And not being able to get one is the most frustrating thing ever. And talking about drinks. If you would like a free drink. So an included drink like tea, water, juices. You can only get them in the buffet. And they only allow you to use their machines when the buffet is open. So when that buffet is closed you cannot get a free drink anywhere else on the ship. Because they physically lock them buffet doors and do not let you in. So if you want a coffee now the buffet is closed. You're going to have to pay for it. If you want a glass of water you're going to have to pay for it. And it's absolutely ridiculous. Because the times of the buffet opening as well are just crazy. It's only open for an hour and a half to an hour and 45 minutes on an evening. So for about eight or nine hours per day you can't get a complimentary drink. So if you don't have a drinks package you are pretty much screwed. You're going to have to go somewhere and buy something. Now this has been also a big big problem with the food as well. There is absolutely no quick service food which is complimentary on this ship. So that means there's no pizza. There's no french fries. You have to pay for french fries. French fries and pizza are not in the buffet at all. Burgers, wraps, sandwiches. Nothing. It's all extra pay. Once that buffet closes. Once the main dining rooms are closed. There's no grill area. There's no pizza station. There's no quick service areas to go grab a snack. Grab a piece of fruit. It is all extra pay. Not even a cookie. You have to pay two euros for a simple cookie. It's like $15 for a pizza which is absolutely crazy. On an Italian cruise line. It's really making me angry guys. Because I have never seen nickel and diming like this on any other cruise line before. And it just for me means that we would never be able to recommend Costa. Because it's just a complete and utter ripoff. It is no cheaper than any other cruise line. Cruise lines like Carnival and Princess which are part of the Carnival brand like Costa. All offer these things complimentary. So the Italians and the Europeans have been royally screwed over. Our poor crew member. He can barely get five tables away from the bar. And then he gets stopped and his orders are full and he has to go back. He's not made it down to this end of the coffee shop yet. Might have to give up Ben. I'm gonna lose it David. I'm actually... Guys I don't think you've ever seen us being like this on a cruise ship before. But I'm literally gonna lose it. We've been here for 24 minutes now waiting. What happens is that a European family sits down on one of the seats in front of us. And then starts screaming for the crew member to come over and serve them. We've got people screaming in my ear. We've got rehearsals downstairs. It's like gonna make my head ache. Oh guys help me. This is supposed to be a vacation but it's just not nice. Oh Jesus help me. I sound so spoiled but we're not guys. I think waiting 20... I think waiting 25 minutes for a coffee is absolutely ridiculous. And there's people just screaming everywhere. I'm actually quite enjoying it because it's actually quite funny. It's like a circus. It is like a circus. It's like Calamity or... What's one of those films where it's just a complete chaos manic mess. I'm actually quite enjoying it. It's quite funny. It's been 32 minutes guys. So we're gonna go and try for somewhere else. See if we get better luck elsewhere. And hopefully a little bit of a quieter space. It's all fun and games isn't it? It's our entertainment for the day. Try and find coffee before Ben literally loses his head. So we've came downstairs now to the main atrium bar slash cafe. Now this one does look like you can go up and ask for a drink which is good. Guys I know we're moaning and everything. But in all seriousness we are so lucky that we get to do this. And in seriousness it is funny. It is really funny. We're not genuinely that angry. We're not like oh my gosh get me off here really. It's all good fun in the end. We're on a cruise right. It's better than being at home. It's just that. We want to do this to be completely honest and transparent with you. So you don't choose this cruise line. We highly do not recommend choosing a Costa cruise. Because it is absolutely blooming insane. Everything we're saying is completely true. But in reality it's just a laugh isn't it? So we're glad we can take you along for this. Right the rehearsals are starting again. You still can't understand why there's bloody rehearsals on a sea day. It's just ridiculous. And they're looking at iPads and stuff because they don't know the words. So it's not even like it's a thing you can sit down relax and watch. Crazy. The lady on the till was the most rudest person you will ever ever meet in your entire life. But then also the Italian passengers were very rude back to her. And I almost think it's like banter between them. Because a gentleman said I want two I want two. And she was like yes I heard you I've got two ears. She said that back to him. But he didn't seem bothered. He didn't say please thank you. And she wasn't that bothered as well. But then when I ordered my coffee she was actually very pleasant and lovely. And said thank you and everything. She was really nice to me. So I think it's just a culture thing. It was quite funny to experience. But we've got our coffees and they look very very good. I will say the coffee on here looks pretty darn good indeed. That is absolutely delightful. As David said the coffee is very good. Now about the passengers guys. We need to talk about them. Because yes we have seen lots and lots of unfortunate rude behavior. Like I said pushing and shoving. And the way that lots of these people talk to the crew is just unbelievable. I'm surprised the crew haven't throttled some of them. Seriously I don't even know how they cope with it. Because the way they talk to is like they're slaves. And they're shouted at, screamed at, demanded at. But the big thing for us has just been that bad behavior and just the smoking. So people smoking absolutely everywhere. So there are designated smoking areas all around the ship. But nobody sticks to them. And the amount of people who have been vaping inside the ship. Just in restaurants, bars, cafes like this. And nobody says anything to them. They just get away with it. So you always have the pungent smell of like strawberries or pineapple or smoke everywhere you go. Now we have no problem with people smoking at all. Lots of my family smoke. But there's a place to do it isn't there? There really isn't. Here it just feels like it's everywhere. But it's just so incredibly frustrating. There's no way to beat around the bush. The passengers on this ship have been awful on the whole. We're not just talking about one nationality. We're talking about several nationalities. We've got Italian, Spanish, French, Germans, a handful of Brits. But it's just... Oh god awful. Just having a little walk around now. Just to burn off some energy. Burn off some calories. We're just looking for something to do really. All of the trivia and things like that are all held in Italian only. Which sucks a little bit. It really does. It's something that we weren't really aware of. We thought some things would be done in Italian. But yeah. So we can't get involved with things like that. Which is a bit of a shame. Just seen the funniest thing. So we keep seeing adverts. There are adverts everywhere guys. All over the screens, posters and things like that. For all of the upcharge extra pay items. And there's lots of them. But one thing that we kept seeing was the adverts for the VR experience. It is hilarious. We've just stumbled upon it there. And it's literally like an emergency exit corridor. Where these random people are wandering around with VR headsets on. I mean how cheap is that? That's funny isn't it? But they look absolutely bonkers. And it's expensive as well. It's like 10 euros for like five minutes. Which is nuts. Hilarious. I've never seen anything quite as funny as that before. So the pizza place is just behind me. Like I said earlier on. It's a crime against blooming humanity. But you can't get any complimentary pizza on board of the ship. Or things like french fries as well. You're forced to come here. So you know the issues we've had with MSC in the past. But we just want to compare it to that. Because they're both Italian cruise lines. We're staying in a suite this time. We've stayed in the MSC Yacht Club before. I know that went downhill. If you've not seen the videos before make sure you check them out. And to be honest they were about the same price. And we have to say the whole MSC Yacht Club experience. The suite experience. Oh my gosh. It is so so so much better on MSC. Here on Costa we barely get anything. We do get a suite restaurant. Mainly the same menu. But we have found that the service is very good in there. And the food's pretty good. All you're really getting on board is the cabin. Because otherwise you don't get much. I would have to massively massively recommend MSC Cruises over Costa Cruises. We had problems on their cruise ships. But they're not half as bad. Everything on here seems much more... I don't know what the word is. Much more amplified. So all the problems that are on MSC Cruises. Times it by two on here. It's double as bad. That's what I'm trying to really get to say guys. Any problem you see on MSC Cruises. With the service, food, things like that. It's worse on here. It really is. So go for MSC if you're on a budget. Or wanting to look for a suite experience in Europe. Just so so much better. Never thought I'd say that guys. What's the world nowadays? Talking about food. We've worked up an appetite. And it's lunchtime. So let's head to our suite restaurant to have some lunch. Bella Vista. So welcome to Bella Vista. This is the suite only restaurant on board. But actually strangely enough. If you're in a regular cabin. You can pay to come in here and dine in here instead. Now we've got no complaints about this restaurant. It's really lovely. It's quite small. It's very relaxed. And the service has been fantastic in here. It's open for breakfast and lunch. Which is a buffet selection. Plus there is some a la carte items you can order off the menu. And then on an evening it's a full a la carte menu. So the bread basket has came. Is it time to tuck in Ben? Oh David it looks so good. You're gonna have to stop me. They're terrible as well. Because even if you only eat half the basket. They'll replenish it straight away. So you end up leaving here like you've ate half a bakery. Yeah this I've got to admit. This feels like my little comfort place on board. Because really is the only nice food we've had anywhere. Because the food in the buffet not great. But the food in here no problems at all. Now in all of the restaurants and bars and things. There are no paper menus. So you have to scan a QR code. So if you don't have a phone. It's going to be a little bit annoying. They do have paper menus. But you're going to have to ask for them everywhere. You can have a look at all of the menus and things like that. So as always we do recommend downloading the cruise line app. No matter what cruise you're on. But especially with Costa. You can see everything on there as well. Like the daily planner. Times that things are opening. All of that sort of stuff. And ship maps. And all of the information that you're going to need. So definitely do download the app. Got my diet coke. Now I'm gonna go grab some food. So the buffet selection is quite small. But it's actually very nice. Don't forget there is a full menu that you can order from. I'm very impressed so far. So there's a little salad selection. And then a couple of cold items. I got myself a nice big ball of cheese. A nice big ball of mozzarella. With some little salad bits. And some little grilled vegetables as well. I went for a big bowl of salad as well. But I had to try some of that bread dipped in some balsamic. Oh my gosh. Now that is just absolutely delicious. I went for a bit of everything. I went for carrots. Beetroot. Some lovely vegetables as well. And a big piece of mozzarella like David. Which is surrounded by some delicious ham. I'm going to dig right into that. Because it looks absolutely wonderful. Scoop me up like dessert. And call me a piece of chocolate cake. Because that is absolutely wonderful. Very delicious. Really really happy that we've got this little haven. If we weren't in a suite. I think we'd be royally screwed over guys. Because I don't think it'd be very good at all. I got the salmon scallop. Which is baked in cheese. On a bed of bok choy I think. And some mashed potatoes as well. It comes with a whole prawn on top. I mean how do I approach this? You're asking the non-fish eater David. I've got no idea. One thing I really hate. Is when you go to a restaurant. You've got to work for your food. Do I just pull the head off? Oh no. It's like. Oh no. I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like an idiot. I might just put it on the side. I think that might just be decoration. It's a garnish. I don't like. How am I supposed to do this? Let me try the salmon first. Oh very rich. The bearnaise sauce is lovely and creamy. And the salmon is very flaky and very delicious. A little on the cooler side. But very tasty indeed. So for my main course. I got the veg tabale lasagna. Now it doesn't look exactly what I thought it would do. It's very very creamy by the looks of it. And maybe cheesy as well. And it's got a very strange smell indeed. Let's go and have a little try shall we? Oh no that's that's not good at all. It's got a very very strange taste guys. It tastes almost very smoky and strange. It needs tomatoes. A good lasagna has nice layers of tomatoes and things like that. But that's not my cup of tea at all. It's got a very very odd off-putting taste that I can't really describe. And it's quite sloppy as well. And like David's dish it's a little bit cold. So that's a little bit disappointing. But do you know what? There's lots on the menu. So I could go and order whatever I wanted. I could go pick another dish if I wanted. So it's not all bad. And to be fair that's got so many calories in it. It's making me feel a bit guilty just looking at it. Oh now it's finally dessert time. And I went for the vanilla mousse little cake thingamabob. Shall we have a little try? It looks very pretty indeed. That's actually really good. It did look really gelatini. But it's not at all. It's very very creamy and very light indeed. And I love that little strawberry kick in there as well. Truly scrumptious. Very good indeed. We're gonna have some coffee now. Because we don't want to go back out there and wait with the waves of people to get a quick coffee. So we're gonna get an espresso each. And then see what the rest of this CD has in store for us. A nap after all that food. Oh god yeah. A little nana nap maybe as we like to call it. Love that. Maybe open all of the doors in our cabin and just listen to the sea. And it doesn't matter what ship you're on. The sea always sounds beautiful outside. But it sounds better in a suite though doesn't it? Oh yeah it does yeah. Oh my gosh David how funny is our server? She's hilarious. Our server is so funny. She brought me an empty cup of espresso on purpose. And just like walked away and I was like where's the espresso? It's invisible. The coffee on board is very very good. Very very strong indeed. And it's exactly what you need after a nice big meal. Jesus. It's extremely strong. But at least in there. Oh slap some wings on me and call me a chicken. Oh my gosh that is absolutely ridiculously strong. But delicious at the same time. I love my coffee so much. It's getting to be a little bit of an addiction now everybody. I'm having about six or seven a day. I'm not sure if that's very healthy or not. But it does keep me going. I really do like that restaurant. Like I said it is my little safe place on board. The problem is is that if you're not in a suite guys. You're not going to have much on offer at all. And we've heard that the food in the main dining rooms is not very good at all. So it is what it is. Back into our room and all we can hear is banging banging music. Hi you having a little dance David? He's having a little dance everyone. Private room party. This is the VIP booth. All I can hear is banging music and stomping on the floor. I mean it's ridiculous. It's like 24 hours. No wonder we're feeling a little bit ratty and irritated today. Do bear with us guys. This isn't our normal attitude. We love to have a friendly, happy, lovely attitude. But it's hard. I'm desperate for sleep. And all I can hear is boom boom boom boom. Sorry that was terrible dancing. What's wrong? Grrr bear with us. Right I'm gonna have to go for a nap. I'm exhausted. After that espresso. Oh yeah that's not good is it? It's the stupidest thing we've ever done. We shouldn't have done that. Jesus. Anyway we'll see you in a little while guys. I might go and join the party after that espresso. Who is this person? Do you like my dancing? This is what sleep deprivation does to you. Three hours later. So guys this is me just waiting to contact somebody on the phone. Just to change one of our reservations. It's ridiculous. You can't get in touch with anybody. Our butler. The spa. The guest services. Even though I'm number one in the queue. So I'm number one in the queue with a 15 second waiting time. I've been waiting seven minutes so far and I'm number one in the queue. Just ridiculous. Paid all this money for a suite and I can't get in touch with anybody. I'm not waiting for more than 15 minutes. This is just ridiculous honestly. It is actually crazy. It's been like that for everything as well. Fun fact. The guest services or the reception here on Costa Cruises isn't open 24 hours. It's one of the only cruise lines we've ever seen that. But it's... what time is it? It's at 4 p.m. Nearly 5 p.m. So we would expect for it to be open at this time. But nobody's answering. I was number one in the line for over 14 minutes. Oh honestly. This is ridiculous. The whole thing is just shambles guys. I have no faith that in an emergency these people would get us off safely. Well you know it's already happened in the past and they didn't. And I don't think I have much faith with them now to be honest. Terrible. Sorry I'm sleep deprived. It's an angry Ben today. You're getting an angry Ben. But he's still happy Ben in some way. Ah so we are all ready for some din-dins here on board. We're going to take you to the buffet tonight. I'll just put some shots of some of the food that we've had in our sweet restaurant. And you know what? It's been really good. We can't really say anything else about it. Service and food have been very good guys and very tasty. The menus are very good as well. So that's a good thing. Now one thing that we have really loved and I know that we said we don't like some things about this cabin. But it has been really nice having some lovely room on our cabin. We've got plenty of room to sort of chill out. Two separate areas. It sucks that there's nothing really on the TV English speaking wise. But apart from the horrendous noise it's been nice. If we were just one floor down it would have been much better. But this cabin was assigned to us. So we didn't pick it because we booked quite late. And you know what? That is a rookie mistake. Definitely, definitely check where your cabin is to avoid any noise. That means staying away from things like theatres, bars, clubs. Take a look on the decks above and below you to see exactly what's there. Because there could be the threat of noise. Honestly, even having a restaurant above you. They can be scraping the chairs and things and it can be very annoying. Because these ships are just made of metal. So the noise really does transfer. So that's on us. That's a rookie mistake from us. We booked a guaranteed cabin and this is what we got. So it is what it is. But you know what? I'd still rather be on a cruise than be at home. We can moan as much as we want. You can tell I've had a nap guys. But it is what it is. We just want to save you money. We just want to tell you about the cruise lines that are good and the cruise lines that are bad. But now it's time for some din-dins. So let's hope it's not too manic in there. Let's go grab some food shall we? Oh David are you ready to go for some din-dins? I am ready to go for dinner. I am absolutely famished. So I will push anybody out the way that goes in front of me. Oh you go. You're getting right there. You're getting right in the spirit of this Italian cruise line now. I really am. I will cut a b**ch. David that's so unlike you. I know you were saying a bit earlier about the lack of English TV channels on the TV. We actually did find one TV channel out of about the 70 that do English TV shows. And it's HGTV. Like the Home and Garden channel. That's all we watched wasn't it? Morris dancing and buggery. I can tell you everything about every house now. We got a bit a little bit obsessed with it. So return from having a look around the buffet and got some food. Now it isn't that busy with Kim as it's just opened. But it's still incredibly frustrating to get food. Because it's just so slow and everybody just seems to be moving in slow motion. So by the time you've got a few different dishes it just takes absolutely ages. Now the choice it looks okay. But there isn't actually that much there. There isn't really anything really standing out really. Apart from a few of the meats and cheeses. It's just missing so much. Things like burgers, hot dogs, french fries, pizza. Like we said earlier on. It's just missing a lot of the staples that you get on every other cruise line. Including the other Italian cruise lines. They're really really trying to push for you to eat in one of the specialty restaurants. And spend money. But anyway it is what it is guys. And our cruise is coming to an end now thank gosh. Because I need some proper nice food. It's just been very underwhelming. I got a salad and I got a plate full of rice and some meat. So I've got some pork and chicken. Let's go try the rice first of all. Get a little bit of the stuff in there as well. That rice is weird. It's saffron rice. But it's got a really odd unpleasant taste about it. It tastes like sour slash a little bit off. If you know what I mean. But it's very mushy. Let's try some of the chicken. Got no hope for this. It looks very dry. So dry. Yeah it took me, I'm not kidding, about 10 minutes just to get past it. And there was one person in front of me. That is how long it took. It was just complete utter chaos. I went for something really simple and easy. I just got some pasta. It's the same thing every single day guys. So there is very little variety. Very uninspiring. Really really poor. It's just got no vegetables or even like onions or anything in it. I know and there's no like pizzazz to it or anything. It was just slopped in there. On a slightly positive side the portions are quite large. They do do give you a lot. So it's not like you're constantly having to ask for more and more. They tend to give you a large portion. Let's try it anyway. I mean I've heard of Al Dente. But I've not heard of Al Dente's brother which is extremely undercooked. Because that is barely cooked pasta. Absolutely tasteless guys. It's like my taste buds have gone on strike. I can't taste anything. It just tastes like plain pasta with a little tiny hint of cream. Really really poor and uninspiring. On a side note I went for the cheese selection. I actually just asked for one type of cheese. And she just kind of gave me every type of cheese and put it on my plate. So I'm not complaining. I do love my cheese. Cheeses and meats are pretty good. But it's the same thing. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. The same cheeses and meats. And there's so many times you can eat them isn't there. But anyway I've got my little tini sandwich. So unfortunately the dessert is the same as I had at lunchtime today in the sweet restaurant. So I don't know if they've had an upgrade or we got a downgrade today at lunch. But it looks it's exactly the same dessert. Yeah that one's got a hair in it. I'm not eating that. And then one of the other desserts is the exact same dessert that we had on the first day of the cruise. So they're very very limited rotation. Finally I got a key lime pie-esque thing. This is hairless. So it's been on the veet. Oh my god it's like... Did you hear that? It's like the sword in the stone. But the sword in the pastry. I broke the table. Yeah so it's like a key lime pie with a meringue top. Let's try it. Do you need a dentist? Good job I've got a good dentist. Blimey that. Tastes like sugar and that's pretty much it. The pastry is extremely thick. The meringue is extremely sugary. Fine it's not the worst thing. But it's pretty disappointing. At least it's hairless. Like him. It wasn't my hair clearly. So weird guys. I don't know what's up with the crew on this cruise ship. But like David's halfway through eating. We're recording a little bit to camera. And the waiter comes over and he's like grabbing everything under our hands. It's very odd. It's just not the same refinement of service that you get anywhere. He plunked his tray down. And started rearranging all the other plates from all the other tables on our table. Whilst you're eating the plate. He's like rearranging the plate you're eating from. It's very very odd. And touching it as well. Which you don't really want. Because he's touching all of the dirty plates with his hands. So now he's not going to eat the rest of the dessert. Because he's like literally manhandled the plate. It's like nothing I've ever ever experienced before. I really want to make that really clear. That this is much worse than what we've seen on MSC. I truly think this is definitely the worst major cruise line in the world. Now things like Margaritaville much worse. But this is the worst major one with a lot of ships. Avoid at all costs. Right enough mourning. Let's go check out the entertainment shall we. Oh so there's two main entertainment venues on this ship. The first one is this big round theater in the middle of the ship. Now whilst the entertainment isn't that bad really guys. It's not the best entertainment we've seen. A lot of it in Italian. As expected it's an Italian cruise line. Cannot mourn about this. But the actual venues themselves are so horrifically badly designed. That I can't believe that this passed the architect's board. Because there's so many things in the way. They've added lots of little details like coves and arcs and things. And most of the seats in this arena have absolutely zero view of the floor. So many of the seats are empty during the performances. Which is such a shame. Basically there's TV screens all the way around. So the only way you can really watch the entertainment. Unless you get here incredibly early. Is to watch through those TV screens. Which is just absolutely ridiculous. The main theater at the front as well is so horrifically designed. There's barely any seats and they're in the most weird places. There's big empty spaces where seats could be. But no you're kind of thrust right at the back. And again having to watch on screens. Which is such a shame. It's the most bizarre thing ever. And the show that's just about to start. Is the show that they've been rehearsing all day today on the sea day. So we've already kind of seen it. I feel like we've had a behind-the-scenes look of it. And it's about to start. But yeah complete fail. Entertainment okay. But the design of the venues absolutely god-awful. I really want to talk to the person who designed this. Because why on earth would you put so much stuff in the way of the stage. It just makes no sense at all. It actually makes me quite angry. Because it's such a basic thing. Costa have been doing cruises for years. They should know how to design ships. Other ships like the Carnival Mardi Gras. Which this ship is based on. And even the P&O ships. They do it correctly. They might not be perfect. But you can definitely see the stage. I went to get a drink but I was told to sit down. It's table service only. Oh David have you got deja vu? Where are you going? Just to grab the menu sorry. Have you got deja vu? I got told off again. She went sit down. I nearly dropped to the floor. Crossed my knees and put my fingers on my lips. Like I was in school again. Oh I know. It's not good is it? Oh do you know what? It's becoming so comical and so funny that I'm actually starting to enjoy it. It's like I'm enjoying the darkness a little bit now guys. I'm getting involved with this ridiculousness. Anyway do you want to hear about some of the quirks about this cruise line and the cruise ship? Because I truly do think that they are the Ryanair or maybe the Spirit Airlines of the cruising world. Now none of the pools are heated at all. So they are freezing cold. We are sailing in October and Costa can't even be bothered to turn the heating on. I think it's to save some money. And they're a bit like MSC as well. So they board at every single port. So it does feel like a ferry. Because you've got all of the safety announcements and safety drills every single day. So it doesn't feel like you've got the beginning or an end of a cruise. Which is really weird. And one thing that I've really struggled with and we do a lot of cruises. Is just knowing what's included. What's not included. What can we get? What can't we get? You've got to find out for yourselves. There's no information anywhere. And finally the internet is god-awful. Now the actual speeds are very good. But the whole thing about getting on the internet and switching devices and stuff. Is such a pain in the neck. Oh I can't wait to get off guys. It's not very often that I say this. But I'm really looking forward to getting back on terra firma. And enjoying some proper food. And looking forward to going on a good cruise line again. But hey. It's been a journey and you've came along with us. So that's all that matters. I've still managed to have a good time. Like I said I'm finding everything very very funny now rather than irritating. Always look on the bright side of life. You can only laugh though guys. It's taken me about 15 minutes to get served. And then another 15 minutes to explain exactly what I want. Do you know like when you almost think am I speaking correctly? Am I saying it correctly? So I ordered a vodka martini. And I said could I have a Grey Goose vodka martini. And he still doesn't understand what I want. He's actually gone to ask somebody else for help about what I would like. I'm a bit confused. So Grey Goose vodka martini. And then he came back and asked would I like ice with that. Oh dear. What are you gonna get? Who knows. It's an adventure and we're all in this together. Oh gosh guys. The plot thickens up. I wanted a Tanqueray and tonic. And it's not included on the premium drinks package. So we've got the biggest the best drinks package you can get. But the Tanqueray gin is included on the premium drinks package. Just not with a tonic. So I've ordered a tonic and then a separate shot. But I can't order them together. But I can order them separate. So just to sum it up guys. It really isn't for us English-speaking people. We just don't think it is at all. It's not aimed at our culture. The way we like to cruise. The American or British style of cruising. So just avoid it. Do your best. I mean David's just got his drink. I think that's just a glass of vodka. Is it your martini? David that's a glass of vodka. You got a glass of vodka David with a wedge of lime. That is not a martini. I might sleep tonight through the noise. I've been waiting 10 minutes for my gin as well. And this bar is completely empty. Anyway guys we're gonna leave it here like we said. Thank you so much for watching and bearing through this absolute torture with us. Just kidding. It's not too bad with Lana Cruz. Hit that subscribe button and the like button if you want more honest and funny content like this. Thank you so much to all of our patrons as well who make this whole channel possible through your very special support. You can find out about becoming a patron in the description section below. In return we give you loads of things like extra episodes that nobody else gets to see. Behind the scenes episodes as well. Early access to our videos. Add free access to our videos with no ads whatsoever. And lots more including a monthly zoom call where we get to chat with you. So I guess that's it till next time. Happy cruising. Not on Costa. Pass me my tub of vodka. Let's go let's go to bed. I've had enough David.