Our Wedding | Zach & Maggie

Welcome, everybody. Yeah, here we are. This is great. This is so good. This is so wonderful. It's wonderful to be here today to witness the marriage of these two awesome, cool and incredibly hot people. I am honored to be leading this today. This is sick. I feel so important and I love that. These are people who love their families, who love all of their friends. They love all of us. These two have so much love for each other and we all have of them together, they will be giggling. You see, before Maggie, Zach was chronically single and this was really just his fault. He was very picky with his prior relationships. He didn't think someone like Maggie existed. She's endlessly sweet, compassionate, funny, kind of a weirdo. It's a combination of things that he didn't think could be in person. But I do love how we spoke of cherishing each moment, each stage. He didn't want to rush into the engagement because he wanted to experience every possible experience that you can have while dating. He can only date Maggie once in his life. He didn't want to miss any experiences. He did, however, fully miss the most romantic special opportunity ever in 2019 when they were at the end of this big hike together, overlooking these beautiful mountains and valleys in Australia. And for some reason, they put on music on their phone and started dancing. And then they both started crying. It was because that was the moment they really knew that this was it. They found each other. If fate is real, then finding each other at a gay bar was fate. And if fate isn't real, then they're just both very lucky because they're perfect for each other. They're already doing the things that I might mention in a wedding ceremony. They're already caring for each other in sickness and in health. They take care of each other physically, mentally, emotionally. They make each other better. They love each other. Zach and Maggie's relationship started with cute dates where they found excuses to spend just a little more time together. And on this date, they make the agreement to spend forever together. Zach, we met in line for a bathroom. I know you don't love it when I minimize it, but I never thought I'd find the love of my life on account of your chronic IBS. Ever since the day I met you, I knew you were someone special and someone I wanted to brave this chaotic world with. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't think someone like you was possible. I'm amazed by how loving and endlessly compassionate you are. I know that we can get through anything together because we've already sort of had to. I longed for someone who could be my best friend, who would listen to me and laugh with me until our abs were on fire. Someone who didn't take life too seriously, but also lived it to the fullest. And damn, I don't know many people who do it quite like you. I love how when you hear a good joke, you immediately want to hear it again. I love that you got drunk and reserved Maggie Kornfeld at gmail.com two years into dating, just in case. You're my best friend, so much more. The privilege of spending my life with you is the greatest honor I could ever ask for. What I never imagined were the little things about you that would fill my heart. The little smile that never leaves your face when you're tucked away sleeping every night. The way you scream, laugh at nearly every joke while we're at the movies. You truly are the most beautiful human I've ever met. I used to think that I needed a love that would complete me, but then I met you and you helped me see that I was already whole. Te amo para siempre mi amor. At the end of this ceremony, Zach will be stepping on glass. Which I know, given everything, I think we're all a little nervous. But it's actually I think the right move. I think it's the right thing to do. There are a few meanings to the stomping of the glass. One of them is to symbolize the fragility of a relationship and remind us that we must treat our relationship with special care. But today, it conversely symbolizes that nothing is going to get in the way of these two. They're going to lead the life they want to live no matter what happens to them. They are stronger than the glass. That said, Zach, please be careful. All right, can I have the rings? Maggie, with this ring, do you take Zach as your lawfully wedded husband and your best friend? Hold on. One more time. Maggie, with this ring, do you take Zach as your lawfully wedded husband and your best friend in good times and bad to have and to hold from this day forward? I do! And Zach? Yeah! With this ring, do you take Maggie as your lawfully wedded wife and your best friend in good times and bad to have and to hold from this day forward? I do! Hell yeah! Wearing these rings will always remind you of your love, of this day, of your joy, and of each other. So wear them proudly. And now, by the power vested in me by the internet, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now stomp the glass and kiss each other. Please welcome Zach and Maggie! Give it up for Zach! Zach and Maggie, you're so perfect together. I can't believe that my two amores got married today. The happiness that I get from you guys, this is really, this is simply what life's all about. A toast to sweethearts. May all sweethearts become married couples, and may all married couples remain sweethearts.