How To Deal With A Financially Irresponsible Spouse

today we're talking about love and money if you know me you know I don't like putting mouth inside husband and wife palava so for me to be talking about marriage and money H must be a serious issue let me give you a staffing statistics did you know that nearly 40% of marriages experienced serious Financial strain due to one partner being financially irresponsible one Partner money apart from the other room issue is one of the top causes of stress in relationships and when one spouse consistently makes poor financial decisions while the other spouse is financially responsible it can push in marriage to the breaking point ah what if the two of them are financially irresponsible but for it's not our portion today we're going to talk about how to cope with a financially irresponsible spouse but instead of just giving you tips let me tell you story a real story based on actual events with names changed of course this is the story of Linda and James Linda and James have been married for 10 years they met and fell in love while in University and yes was one of those in love stories that can make you jealous a but while their love was strong their financial life was a disaster N is a nurse and a very meticulous planner when I say meticulous I mean meticulous she believes in proly Saving and making sure that bills were PID on time good job being there but James on the other hand ha he was the complete opposite he's an impulsive spender who believes that money is spent to be enjoyed you know those leave life to the fullest gang those ones so for James living life meant expensive dinners flashy gadgets latest cars designer clothes and even lending large s of money to friends who never ever PID him back L of these things are bad in themselves but when it comes to paying for what actually matters you will not find people like jser he will leave the WhatsApp group but as the man of the house he insisted on being in charge of their finances my dear L didn't want to argue so she allowed it they were living their life normally with Little Couple sres here and there nothing too serious but on this particular evening n sat on their small dining table sipping some tea and checking their bank statements remember she is meticulous just that morning your electricity bill had arrived with a final notice stting red across the TP so she wanted to see why the bills had not been paid as she looked through their bank statements she suddenly sat up staring at the bank statement with a notot in her stomach their credit card debt had bured $25,000 their M cage was two months in hand and most of the regular bills had not able been paid uh-uh she cleaned her eyes is this a joke or what what is this she seen Lind was asking herself stonned and just as on CU James walked in tossing his shopping back onto the counter he won't believe the deal I got today he announced beaming like a 6-year-old who just got the gift of his dreams Linda said nothing she was still in shock over the bank statement that she just went through new golf clubs 50% off can you believe it James continued ninda closed her eyes and took a deep breath she video want to screen so she quietly said James her voice come or friend we have bills that and paid and just bought golf clubs James waved the hand dismissively oh come on babe I'll pay it off next month you always press me about money matters too much n felt her chest tighten this was always his answer next month next paycheck next time but next time never came Nina quietly stood up and went into the room before she said something that she would regret this Linda is a good woman women that I know about they would have removed their wig that matter must be settled now now or never but Linda she's a great woman really anyway Linda gave him the benefit of the D and believed that the bills will be paid the next month and life went on with with Linda hoping that James would actually make the payment as he had promised she was very worried nonetheless because she knew that if things started falling apart it would affect her too this was her husband so this was her home but anyway life was moving on as usual and then it happened it was 2 weeks later Nina had taken a n sheet to and some extra money but when she got home in the morning she found James sitting in the living room looking very worried James are you okay ninda asked she was worried because James was not usually this quiet you know James now big boy about town but today big boy wasn't big boy I made a mistake James said quietly Thea's hat pounded what what happened Jim swallowed hat avoiding the's eyes I um I took a payent loan to cover the mortgage last month but I couldn't pay back in time and now the interest has skyrocketed a threatening legal action James is stopping quietly today Lina's legs felt weak pay their loans those had interest rates of over 300% she took a shaky breath James how much do we owe he wouldn't miss her eyes about send $500 hey Linda dropped into the nearest chair her mind racing their finances were already stretched to the Limit and now this I can fix it James said hurriedly I just need to borrow a little more until my next paycheck no Linda's voice was sharper than she intended no she stood up hand string no more notes no more Reckless spending this has to stop it has to stop Linda quietly left going to the kitchen to think she knew she had two choices one keep enabling Jamesy habits for the sake of peace or two take control of their situation before they became broke as Str Rats the choice wasn't had to make that night she sat Jims down for the hardest conversation of their marriage we need help she said we need financial counseling we need a plan otherwise we're going to lose everything J resisted at first you know the man Grand now I don't need a stranger telling me how how to handle my my my money he argued still has mou to talk Linda gave him a sad Swang James you don't handle our money you don't handle it at all you spend it let's get help in getting out of the hole that you have to us into that hit him hard very hard and for the first time he saw the pain that his financial responsibility had caused he agreed to go to this counseling I don't need to tell you that James resisted every step of the way how could he a whole James stop wearing designer clothes stop being a big boy what was he if not a big boy she tell him or not anyway Linda realized that she had made a big mistake by giving the total management of their finances to James just because he was the man or the head of the house whether man or woman the financially responsible person should be in charge of the finances and as for James and Linda their Journey was an uphill task but over the next year Linda and James made some serious changes one they sought Financial counseling this helps James to understand his ulive habits and he gave them both tools to work together two they created a strict budget James agreed to follow a spending plan after resisting vly and Linda handled all B payments from D HW three they started a small emergency fund no more payday loans or last minute borrowing of for money four James learned to say no he stopped lending money to friends who never beid back also known as he stop being a big boy dishing out money free money to people and five they prioritized paying of their debt slowly but surely they chipped away at their credit Camp balance and PID a law and all the other Debs that they had already accumulated it wasn't easy it wasn't easy at all there were arguments setbacks and moment between gyms fell back into Old Habits but over time things improved a year later n sat at the same dining table this time smiling as she checked their bank balance they had finally saved their first $5,000 emergency fund James walked in iring her cautiously good news he asked she nded great news he greened you know I've been thinking every time I take that online personal finance cost elation in not laugh shaking her head now that's the best purchase that he would make this year James slaughtered in agreement smiling at his ever sweet Linder and their marriage I was falling apart finally finally started to come together it's not like James changed overnight but James started to change and that is all asked for now if you're dealing with a financially irresponsible spouse without mind or I want you to know one thing change is possible but it requires boundaries communication tough decisions and sometimes even professional help don't enable bad habits seek outside help if needed the patient but change doesn't happen overnight and most importantly remember that your own Financial Health matters too you can't pour from an empty cup if you found this story helpful tell me in the comments comments have you ever struggled with a financially IR responsible partner how did you handle it let's talk about it leave your comments below and I invite you to watch this video next IT addresses s col Financial mistakes that you might be making and how to fix them take care and I'll see you in the next one