Bachon ko Unke Comfort Zone Se Kaise Nikaalen? - Teen & Tweens S1E8 | Practical Tips

In your opinion, a child who is studying, going to school, going to college, what is the ideal time frame and how much more? It is better that you are close to people who are positive in life. The comfort zone eats up your growth. Dreams are fulfilled by those whose intentions are alive. Nothing happens with wings, it flies with emotions. One of the reasons for going into the comfort zone is that the child wants to fulfill the expectations of his parents. If you look at our society, the educated person is relatively weak. If I leave my job, I don't know if there is a future for me or not. Those who have the courage to sit down and complain, those who have the courage to stand up and complain, their hearts are made of stone. In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. I am Khurram Khurshid with the program Teens and Twins. Viewers, the history of the nations of the world is witness to the fact that those same nations and individuals are successful only in those steps which make hard work their symbol. Those who make continuous efforts and manage their time day and night in such a way that they make every moment precious. Those who become the practical interpretation of this couplet of Hazrat Iqbal that grains are mixed with dust and become soft and soft. Those who instead of naming their laziness and ineptitude as fate, have faith in their strong arms. And instead of the prayer of Farhad, they call the call of Bilali as Labbaik. There is a couplet of Baba Najmi that those who have the courage to sit down and complain, those who have the courage to stand up and complain, their hearts are made of stone. And Munnu Bhai had said that it does not happen, it has to be done. And those who do not make hard work their symbol, and live in their comfort zone, and then they get stuck in the whirlpool of hopelessness, and then they start becoming a burden for themselves, their families and their country. How to get out of this comfort zone? How does a person come into the captivity of this comfort zone? To know all this, today I am going to introduce you to one of my guests, who is basically a biprofessional teacher. You are an excellent teacher. And at the same time, you are looking at the creative department at the Superior University. And teachers are associated with training. You orientate with students. You interact with students. You guide students. And those soft skills, which become the prelude to their success in life, you train them. You guide them. You make them a mentor. My guest is Mr. Muhammad Mujeeb Riaz. A very warm welcome to you, sir. You took out time from your busy schedule and came to us. A very warm welcome. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you so much for the brief introduction. But let's talk. Because today we have to understand from you, how to get out of this comfort zone, what is a comfort zone. But before that, tell us, what is the secret of these beautiful hair? Sir, this is your beautiful eyes. Actually, beauty is in the eyes of a person. So, the style of the person who sees this depends on his eyes. So, you won't tell us the way with your extreme smartness, because of which we can see your beautiful hairstyle. You are not telling us the way. Okay, in my opinion, I think that everything in the universe is beautiful. And the beauty that is hidden is in the eyes of a person. And if you want to see, then you will see every part of the universe beautifully. So, this is your beautiful eyes. Absolutely. You are our teacher. And secondly, whenever we saw you, we saw the Pakistan flag on your blazer. What is the reason for this? Sir, I think that all of us identify with Pakistan. So, Pakistan is our identity. And I always keep it on my chest. And I think that you follow the best practices. You go out of Pakistan. If you travel anywhere, then you will see every person placing their country's flag. So, I think that Pakistan is our identity. And Pakistan is the reason for our identity. Viewers, we will start our conversation from here. We will take a break here. And after the break, we will ask Mr. Mujeeb Riaz about the comfort zone and all the things related to it. We will ask him about how we can get out of our comfort zone. Take a little break. Welcome back, viewers. Mr. Mujeeb Riaz, first of all, tell us, what is a comfort zone? Mr. Khurram, in my opinion, the definition of comfort zone can be different for everyone. Comfort zone is... We often talk about creativity. And you must have seen that creative people are often told to think outside the box. They have an understanding. They know how to work out of the box. Why is it said to work outside the box? Because comfort zone is a space around us where a person feels at ease and does not want to get out of it. Let's talk about this in detail. Why does a person not want to get out of it? Because he does not want to think or understand outside the box. Why? Because he feels at ease and comfortable in it. He feels that the environment in which he is living gives him a lot of peace. That is why, I think, he does not know that this comfort zone is also a reason for his destruction. This is a big obstacle in his growth. The most associated thing with comfort zone is that it destroys your growth. It does not let you move forward. Because you interact with the youth in the classroom and you have different trainings. How much of this problem do you see in the youth? The problem is that our youth wants to move forward. They want to achieve something. But when they are asked what they want to lose, they are not ready to lose anything. Is it necessary to lose to achieve? Yes, of course. I was listening to a great radio show today. There is a poem in it. There is a famous saying that nothing is impossible in this world. If you cut the thread a hundred times, then you will be successful. If you want to be successful, then the first condition is to get out of your comfort zone. The first condition is that children are limited in their comfort zone. Yes, very good. Tell us, does genetics play a role in this? Or does a person become hard by choice? Genetically, a person learns a lot from his environment and observations. A person does not even know when he is in his comfort zone. The same situation, environment and things start giving him comfort. Please tell us, why we don't know and how we can find a way to put a sensor on ourselves to see if we are in our comfort zone. As you said, going to the comfort zone means that growth and progress has stopped. As I said, we want to achieve a lot but we don't want to lose it. You are saying a beautiful thing. Please define this. Then I will ask my question. Tell us about achieving and losing. In this, everyone sees dreams. Everyone has the right to see dreams. But dreams are fulfilled by those who have life in their intentions. Nothing happens with wings, but with courage. I think that you are beautiful but your courage is beautiful. I think it is important that if a person thinks and decides, nothing is impossible. But the problem is that people in our society and our young generation have to realize in their comfort zone that they are in a state of mind. How will they know? When you talk to people, they say, I am absolutely fine. Because they don't have the urge or anyone to make them realize that if you talk to such people, they have the desire to move forward. But along with the desire, they don't want to leave their comfort. If a person wants to be successful in the world, we often see that Allah does not allow birds to enter the nest. For that, they have to leave. Until we leave our comfort zone and don't do anything for it, we can't get out of it. The second thing you said is how will we know? How will we know? A person has an understanding of a lot of things. But he is trying to steal a glance. He knows. Who is this person who does not know that if he works hard, he will not be successful? Who is this person who does not know that if he works 8-10 hours, he will be successful? For a person, he is trying. If a person is not trying, then he knows. But knowingly or unknowingly, we have closed our eyes and we think that with this environment, with this comfort zone, we will get all the comforts and we will not have to do anything. But this will not happen. You will have to pay the price to get something. You will have to pay the price to get something. This is the most important thing. Secondly, I think that I am there. The reason is that as you said, a child does not know that he is going to the comfort zone. So how? You are a very smart host. A good host or an anchor knows how to get the answer. I think that there is a risk associated with it. People in our society are afraid of taking risks. When we talk about realizing and breaking the comfort zone, there are two things associated with it. One is fear and the other is uncertainty. In which you think that you know nothing. You are afraid and you think that I don't know what will happen in the future. And if I do this. I was reading an article in which it was written that awareness or getting to know something or knowledge is death. Why? Because in our society, an educated person is relatively weak compared to a common man. And this is in reality. Because an educated person has an understanding. He sees his profit and loss first and then starts doing things and taking actions. So this state of mind in which a person goes and doesn't want to get out of his comfort zone. The basic reason for this is that the environment starts giving him ease. And he starts living in it. And he thinks that this is life. And in this, what people lack the most is how much you explore things. How much your observation is strong. How much you understand things. A person or a user who hasn't gone out of Lahore for him, the whole universe is Lahore. If he hasn't seen it or explored the other horizons of the world, he will feel that it is enough to explore Lahore. If you see, in our inner city, there is a hero in every neighborhood. So the kids there feel that this hero is the maximum. His inspiration is that. So as you explore, as things come to you, you realize that the world has gone too far. This means that the first way to break the comfort zone is to explore. Do you understand these gadgets? They also take our youth to the comfort zone. Sitting and watching reels, watching stories on Instagram. In this, I understand and in my digital media sessions, the youth of today have got digital media as a gift. The rapid transformation and transition they have seen in this phase, they have not seen before. The current generation has more understanding. When we do interviews, if a person comes for hiring, we see from his age group, if he is 50+, then he is rejected there. Because he is not familiar with the social platforms. In the same way, everything has its plus and minus. It depends on how you utilize it. We see that our young generation has learned a lot from your digital gadgets. There are a lot of things that were not there in our time. If you look at it today, it is also a learning tool. Mr. Mujeeb, we often hear from parents that children are always engaged with mobiles, gadgets, etc. You said that these children are digital natives who explore the world. Is there a limit to this? If they use it beyond this, then it is a wastage of time. They start wasting everything instead of being productive. Do we have a limit or a bar that we should only use this much and if we do more, it will take the child to the comfort zone? See, anything that is unjust is harmful. I think the most important and important role of parents is to keep a check and balance on their children. You can decide a time frame in which you have to give gadgets to them. But I think if we distance ourselves from this, then it is very important to move with the times. Luckily, our youngsters and our senior citizens have got the biggest opportunity in COVID. The digital achievements that we have made in COVID were not possible. We could have spent another 5-8 years. But the digital transformation has happened. A lot of people have worked. A lot of freelancers have earned. So, we did it in this time frame. So, luckily, we just need to strategize a little bit. You should guide and orient your parents on how to strategize. This is a common complaint of all parents, especially with teens and twins. Sir, for example, if a child is using a cell phone or any other gadget or tab, then you have YouTube. There is a YouTube Kids portion of YouTube. You can apply the conditions of what the child wants to see and what kind of content. We have done a lot of research on this. Children have adopted the Hindi cartoon culture. It was reflected in their language. So, we have to keep a check and balance on what kind of content is being watched. You can even make a playlist on YouTube. You can define what information the child wants to see. You can add a time frame as well. Otherwise, there is a problem with the children's eyesight. Parents have to face this as well. So, we have to decide a time frame as well. For example, if our program is on television and we get feedback on different social media platforms, we have to elaborate on the time frame. What is the ideal for a child going to school or college? We used to watch television when we were kids. But there was a specific time when the child had to go to school. So, we had to decide a time frame. Don't exaggerate. Your age will know. When we talk about our time, people think that we are talking to our children. Exactly. Let me add another aspect. There are some things our generation should take care of. For example, how will Mujeeb Rehat make his grandson Lal Ten understand? Let's come back to the topic. Let's talk about the time frame. As we set our daily routine, the child is not mature enough. He wants to be tapped all day long. So, the parents have to take the lead. Do you understand? You interact with children and youth. Parents play a role in society. My producer is asking me to take a break. Let's take a short break. We will talk to Mujeeb Rehat after the break. Welcome back. Mujeeb Rehat, tell us, what role should parents play? Unfortunately, parents are not playing their role. What do we do? Are parents like us so addicted to setting the time frame for their Yes, it is like this. We have seen that if parents are engaged, they will make the child hold the cell phone. It is not clear what kind of content the child is watching. You are talking about defining the child's play list. On the other hand, the issue is that the child does not see anything. If you give the child a tablet or a cell phone, you will see what kind of content the child wants to watch. At this age, our way of exploring has changed. The child explores. If you give him a cell phone, he will find his own content. We do not even know that this game is available in our cell phone. So the child's ability to explore is more. You will not even know what kind of content the child is watching. How to set the time frame? You have to decide a time frame. For example, you have set a time frame for the child to come from school and go to tuition. Similarly, if you set a time frame for the child to come from school you will not even know what kind of content the child wants to watch. You have to decide a time frame for the child to come from school and go to tuition. Similarly, if you set a time frame for the child to come from school you will not even know what kind of content What is the negative impact on the child's personality if the child The biggest negative impact on the child's personality is that the child has entered the comfort zone due to which he has become Sir, if you have a discussion with such a person and ask him he wants to achieve a lot in life, but when you ask him he is not ready of what I have said before. He does not want to leave that space. In addition to this, As I said earlier, a person is afraid to take a risk. So there is a fear factor, which doesn't even let him go out. Can you define the fear factor? The fear factor is that there are a lot of people in our society who don't have a strong belief system. Let's say we talk a lot about entrepreneurship. A lot of people say that even if I leave my job, I don't know if it will be there for me in the future. The real thing that lacks here is your self-confidence. Your confidence becomes zero, in which you think that whatever I am getting, maybe I am not even worth it. If you know that you fully deserve what you are getting, then you are confident. And you feel that I can take risks, I can do anything in life. So self-motivation is the most important thing. And self-motivation comes from self-awareness. In which you first realize what your strengths are, what your weaknesses are. You play on your strengths. So you are saying that no matter how talented a person is, and no matter how much potential he has, it is all useless if he is in his comfort zone. If he is a victim of fear. We see a lot of competent and like-minded people in our society. And we think that they can achieve a lot in life. But maybe it's not just because they are not out of their comfort zone. And then they complain that my brother didn't support me, my father didn't support me, I met a person who was so disappointed. He said that if I sit near the river, the river will dry up. Sir, how important is it to be careful of people who talk like this? Sir, it is very important to be careful of them. Because such a person does not want to go ahead himself. And he will not let you go ahead either. So it is better that you stay close to people who are positive, who want to do something in life, who want to move forward. You will also get motivation from them. I was going to ask you the next question. What is the role of the peer group in entering and leaving the child's comfort zone? Sir, the role of the peer group is the most important and important. This also needs to be looked at by the parents. Who are the fellows of the child? Who does he sit with? It is also important to have an understanding of this. I say that if there are people around you who do not want to do anything, then believe that you will also be like that. You are saying that if you want to be successful, then first of all surround yourself. Our teacher used to say, Allah has given him a long life. You also know him. If a person stays in the comfort zone for a long time, then the person himself becomes miserable. So it means, keep away from them. So, sir. Sir, I think that in our society, first of all, your friends, your fellows around you, and parents should also be positive. And if not, it is a person's own choice that who I want to live with and who I don't want to live with. If you live with those people who want to move forward, then believe that one day you will also be like them. Because your direction and approach is positive. And as you say, negative thinking and negative approach cannot let you move forward. That is why, if you want to move forward, if you want to be successful in life, then positive thinking is the most important. It means that parents should keep a close eye on their children's peer group. And every youngster who wants to be successful, should look at how are his friends around him. Sir, this is a very common saying, that if you sit with a blacksmith, then you will learn only that. And if you sit with a goldsmith, then obviously, the blacksmith and the goldsmith are not so different. They say, go to the perfume shop. Whether you buy perfume or not, even if you don't buy it, but you will definitely smell the perfume and it will elevate your mood. Exactly. Fear. Predetermining that you will not be able to do it. How is my fate? I will not be able to do it. I have never been able to do it in my family. How will I do it? Sir, I would like to add something about fear. When I am coming here, I usually turn on the radio in the car. I have selected some of Iqbal's poems which I have been listening to. Iqbal's poem, Misrah, is very beautiful. So, a person should think that if I lose this, will I get it again or not? Is it a weakness of faith? Yes, it is a weakness of faith. And faith and confidence and self-confidence are not there. Because of which we are afraid to take risks and to get out of our comfort zone. In our practical life, you see a lot of people who are sitting in a special place and they are sitting there and if you see them even after 10 years, I think that if your every passing moment is not better than the new moment, it means that you are not growing or making any progress. You have said a very beautiful thing, Mujeeb sahib. It means that one of the signs of comfort zone is that if my past day is like my future day, then I am in a comfort zone. And if there is any improvement, any progress, I am striving, it means that I am not in a comfort zone, I am in an effort. And they say that opportunity dances with those who are already on dancing floor. You were talking about belief and confidence. What is the role of parents? Do you understand? Because you have an interaction. Do you understand that to take away a child's confidence, parents in their simplicity or without knowing or without thinking, are taking away their child's confidence. In many cases, parents also need understanding. Let me give you some context. Don't go here, don't do that, don't meet someone, don't eat this, don't come there. You don't understand that all their communication is taking away their child's confidence. Just like that, without stopping or snubbing, we take away a child's self-confidence. And we are doing a good job with it. I was watching another interesting thing. All the successful people in the world, their children are not so successful. You can see the history. The reason for this is that they think that they have traveled the world, we are very experienced, our child, we will guide him. The child has to explore things by himself. His tuition is getting from the whole house. His parents think that there should be better things for him, better understanding. Because his parents have the orientation that not every father has. But they again limit him. But you can see in history, you will not find anyone like that. Yes, we have a saying that under a big tree, there is no other big tree. We will continue our conversation with Mujeeb Riaz. We will take a short break. We will be back after the break. Welcome back, viewers. Mr. Mujeeb Riaz, tell us, is there a reason to go to the comfort zone? A child wants to fulfill his parents' expectations. When he fulfills his parents' expectations, apart from that domain, he does not look at any other domain. You are talking about exploring. Isn't it that in order to fulfill his parents' expectations, he spends his life in the same domain? Sir, I think as far as expectations are concerned, it is said that a person should not be close to anyone. When a child is getting tuition from home, and he is being guided to become a doctor, the reason is that he should understand his own potential and his own skill set. Parents should also focus on this. A child may not know this at his age, but he should be helped to realize this. How many such cases do you get who are fulfilling their dreams? And how many are studying with their choice? If you see, 50-60% of our students have taken admission to a specific program because of their parents. Unfortunately, our education system does not provide any guidance to a child so that he can realize his potential. It is a beautiful thing that if your passion becomes your profession, then people are successful and work with interest. If you have to come to the office in the morning and you are not interested, then what value will you add to the organization? A child like this may have come to the track for a specific reason but he is not contributing to the organization. And he can never contribute to the organization. If you want, the most interesting thing is that if your passion becomes your profession. What role should parents play in this? Parents should help their child to realize They should give him confidence and help him realize his potential. Please explain to our parents what is the importance of self-realization and child's choice? If a child is working with his interest, then he can achieve perfection. Otherwise, if you forcefully take work from him, he may not do it with his heart. He will not bring perfection until his interest is included. If his interest is also included, then the value of the work will be different. In the same way, make the child realize that his interest is also changing. Sometimes the child does not understand the importance of self-realization. You are right. But when the child starts taking the responsibility of his interest, then he will There is a big difference But now it's just a matter of grades. Sir, there was a time when schools had proper play areas. But now, if you look at middle class schools, what play areas do they have? As a teacher, taking advantage of your presence, as a teacher, I'm moving away from the topic a bit, but I want to ask you about this as well. When parents choose a school for their child, no matter what school it is, what basic things should be taken care of so that the child gets admission in the school where these things are present? Sir, your quality education is a must. But there are other factors associated with it. For example, how supportive is the school in the extra or co-curricular activities of the child? Or what activities are they doing? These are the activities that boost the child's self-confidence. And to move forward in life, just education is not enough. Just a degree is not enough. You must have seen that we get to see a lot of people in practical life. Their grades will be 4 GPA as well. Sir, I think that even if I come back to Couriers, I won't be able to take so many numbers. But when I start communicating with them, then the person would be praying, O Allah, get me out of this quickly. Sir, you see that we get to see a lot of people in life whose grades are not very good, but they know how to do smart work. And this is the age of smart work. Okay, so not of hard work? No, with hard work, see, even a donkey is doing hard work. You allow me to call you a donkey. You can't do more hard work than a donkey. Yes, he is doing hard work too. But smart work doesn't mean that Smart work means that you know the smart solutions to things. And the age we are living in, is the age of artificial intelligence. So you have the smart solutions to things. Even today, if we are walking on the same old, typical patterned path, then we are either reinventing our work, or we are reinventing the wheel. And we don't even know anything. And we don't even know that the effort that has already been done in the world, we are working on it. So I think that here, our parents, institutions and teachers have to change their teaching methodologies. They have to understand how to change their assessments. In colleges, when students come to you, or when students come to you in the university, and you have sessions with them, do you see this thing, do you see a reflection that this child's grooming is very good, he has got a good school, he has done co-curricular activities well, and his confidence, and all those things that he should have learnt, he has learnt them. How did he get this percentage? Sir, this base, this foundation, if your base or foundation is strong, then you can build as many levels as you want on it. But if your foundation is weak, and I think that often what parents do, that you have to send your child to school, and you have to get him schooled, then you have to admit him in a school like this. And the school is good. And later you say that even if you send him to Oxford, he will not be able to match that speed, that environment there, when his foundation is not strong. So the foundation, the basic qualification of his O level, till A level, I think that is the most important. And the choice of school, which was my question, as you said, see co-curricular activities there, see extra-curricular activities there, see playgrounds there. Sir, see playgrounds, even if the parents, where we are doing everything, often we will talk to the parents, they will say, who do I earn this for? For the children. This is a common sentence. Now, when they are doing all this, do they assess that the school in which I am sending the child, what are its teachers, who is the principal, or what is their academic profile, how strong is it? We ignore these things. So if you assess this, and you know that if you have chosen your child for the right or right institutions, where you have sent him to study, then the same things will be reflected in his grooming and his personality. Okay, Mr. Mujeeb, keep telling me this as well, how engaged should the parents be with their school-going teens and twins, so that they know where their child is intellectually. Sir, this is, the parents need to strengthen their bonding with their children. Is it? Very much. No, no, no. Let me ask, is it today? No, it is not today. No. Because what is not today, in that, the biggest role, where we were talking, of its positive side, of digital gadgets, or the digital devices you have, the negative impact of this is also that, we, or the parents themselves, are very much involved in these gadgets. You go from home, and in the morning, what do we do first? We check our cell phone, we see that… No, it is open at night. Yes, you are checking it at night as well. So we are in a race, and we are in a state of distress and anxiety because of our devices. We have to see this as well, and put it aside, and we have to strategize ourselves as well, our time and schedule. The due time of the children, the engagement with them, or the bonding to strengthen with them, we have to give them that time. Which you think our parents didn't give. And when you have these children, when they come to you, these deficiencies in their personalities will be clearly visible. Sir, this is the reason, and if you come to a higher level, at the university level, you see the students, so I say, go back 7-8 years, there was no concept of internship. Now what is internship? Internship is the reason that the child does not have any skill set. During his 4 years, if he is in bachelors, is studying a program, then he did not gain that skill set. After that, for 2-3 years, he was gaining some skill set in the name of internship. After that, he starts performing. That is the reason, if he learns all these things during his studies, then he can come directly and perform in the field. Actually, my team is pointing out to me again and again that we have very little time left. Let's wind up. That little time, such an interesting conversation, and anyway, I am remembering a couplet, that only in this hobby, I have asked thousands of questions, I have seen your beauty, your beauty of speech. So, Mashallah, the last thing, and after that, we will close the program. Sir, if a child goes to the comfort zone, the parents are understanding that he is not growing, he is in the comfort zone, the teachers are understanding, how to get him out? Sir, in this, the teachers and the parents, they should know that such a child, he should be properly coached, he should be given proper time, and sometimes, if there are such people, or students, or when you talk to them, then they are not even ready to accept that we are in this comfort zone or not. So, they have to realize that this is your comfort zone. They will have to understand the definition of comfort zone. They will have to tell that you do not want to come out of your ease, you do not want to come out of this circle, until you do not come out of it, then you cannot do anything. So, the first thing is that the person or the student who is involved in this, they should understand this. And, assume that, yes, I am in this comfort zone. And, his parents should respect him. Yes. And, you see, all the people in the world who have succeeded, if you look behind them, until they do not come out of their comfort zone, or do not break that circle, they will not be successful. Absolutely. So, I think that, Masha Allah, you have recited so many poems, so, this age, Sir, and, especially, of Artificial Intelligence, and, of Digital Transformation, in this, you have not lived like this. So, until you do not perform extraordinarily, you will not. So, in this regard, I also remember a poem. Yes, absolutely. Silence will not let you live. If you want to live in this age, then create chaos. So, those people are successful who perform extraordinarily. So, I would like to thank Mujeeb Riaz Sahib, for an interesting conversation, and, with so much eloquence, today, you have oriented us, and our viewers. Sir, you have come. Thank you very much. And, Mujeeb Riaz Sahib, said the last thing, that, I think, on that, I will end my program, that, if you want to live in this age, then create chaos, and, break your comfort zone. Only then, you will be successful in life, and, you will be able to complete your journey of success. Only then, your dreams will be fulfilled. Only then, you will reach your destination. With this, I take your leave, from the program, Teens and Twins. Allah hafiz.