Common courtesies in Marriage

What's up, everybody. Welcome back to couple things with Sean and Andrew, a podcast that we talk about a couple of random things. I am enjoying the show more and more. Here five and a half, six years in, I'm enjoying it more and more. You're getting less couple things about couples and more random couple things. All right. If this is your first time here, let me tell you what we talk about. Let's tell them that the three or four things that we talk about really passionately. One is we kind of talk about the joy and discipline and commitment. You know, I think we talk about how rigid and routine our marriage structure is, how rigid and routine our parenting structure is. You're saying this is an underlying common topic we talk about? I think it is. I think everything we do is based in our athletic upbringing, which was very rigid. Way to keep the audience around you guys. I'm telling them that's one thing. Another thing that you can expect from us is playfulness. Yeah, we're going to argue and bicker about each other a lot, but it's playful, right? We also like our therapy. It's like marriage therapy that you get to just listen to, but the feedback we get, which we'll read some comments. I'm looking at my teeth. Okay. They're purple. Sean's been making this amazing smoothies, but it makes your mouth. It makes your mouth purple. The third thing you can expect from us is, is this curiosity, this unending curiosity. I've been thinking about this opening spiel here for a while. Like three nights ago, I was thinking, why do people listen to us? Or if the people who come for the first time want to know what we're about, what, what can they expect? And I think it is like the joyful discipline. I think it's the playfulness and I think it's this unending curiosity. So that's what we're going to double down on just so you know, so it's not going to be like, you're going to double down on that's what let's double down. No part in this. No, you you've been a part of the whole thing. I like to bring it to the surface debate things that have to do with relationships. That's it. And that's based out of that's it. All right. All right. All right. I'm just saying those are, that's kind of what we're about. Also two of those are our family values. They were derivative. I just think it's important. We have a style and it is for some people, but it's not for other people. So Andrew and I really like to do, we like to argue semantic. Yes. We like to be precise in how we speak. I think that's important. And I like you to, uh, to agree with mine and you like me to agree with yours. That's, that's good. That's a good way to put it. All right. Today's episode is common courtesies in marriage. I don't even know what that means. We have a wonderful episode here scripted out. We've got six pages of content to get through, but. Nobody needs to know how many pages we've written. We have a couple of things to do before we roll into this episode. First and foremost, we did an episode on our biggest frustrations. People loved it. You loved it. And I would like to add a couple more frustrations to that. Okay. Here's, here's one of them about me. No. About parenting and marriage. Here's one of my frustrations is how, how easy it is and how naturally inclined I am to reprimand or to the, uh, personally offended rather than I am to pray with our kids specifically, why is it so much easier to say no to them than it is to say, great job, you know? And I was thinking about that the other day of how I could tell bear a thousand times, stop climbing on the thing, stop climbing on the bar stool, stop climbing on this. And I'll say, no, no, no, no, no. But then when he actually does what I am asking him to, it just doesn't come as easy to say, Hey, great job bear or good job. And that's a frustration of mine. Then I'm like, I'm actually trying to flip the script on that and be more naturally inclined to give encouragement and praise. We actually did an interview with Dr. Mona this morning and she was a pediatrician, um, who studied psychology as well. And she was talking about this. She was talking about like, not in a manipulative way, but like in a strategic way, teach your kids almost through praise rather than just an upbringing of criticism. Yeah. We were specifically talking about like food, but what an interesting experience that would be. I think it's a, a more effective tool. I think it is too. We should try it. Positively reinforced rather than just trying to undercut the nose. A second frustration I have now to the marriage part. No. Is the fact that growing up feels like goodbye. I heard this in a, in a song the other day. I think it was by Adam. That's your perspective. That's not Aaron. That doesn't have to be accurate. It really does feel like this constant grieving process. And I can't think about it. I know it's a choice of perspective. You can either every single day grieve this idea that you're never going to have a baby again and you're never going to have like the infant year again. And you're never going to have like, that's why when you see all these like videos of moms grieving the last time they nursed their child, that is a choice. You get to choose to either sit there and grieve it or you can choose to sit there and celebrate the fact that you got to experience it and that now you're in just as great of a life phase. But if you sit there and grieve it, that's not fair to your kid because you're saying, I'm so sad that I don't have that part of you anymore. But you do, you experience it. It's in you. I hate this perspective. I am so prone to this perspective. I know and I hate it. This comes easy to you is just like celebrate where you're at. No, it's not. But you can actively not let yourself sit there and be like, true. I'm so sad. You're not a baby anymore. Or like you can't ever grow up. And you're saying in that process, I don't think that's fair because instead of celebrating who they're becoming every single day, you're almost making them feel guilty for doing something that they are so excited. No, I'm not saying I'm doing this in front of the kids, but when you do it in front of you every day, you're like, don't grow up on me. That's a joke. That's playful. But you should, you should rethink it. Okay. I will. Thank you. Challenge accepted. When you have a three year old who whatever says aminals instead of animals. I know. And then they figure it out. Like it really is. You're like, Oh, that was so precious. This is, here's what I'm trying to say. I agree. These are the best days of our life. And I love these days so much and I'm thankful for them. And then like the days go by and then you look back on pictures when Drew's a kid and now she, or when she was a baby and now she's five years old. You're like, Holy, it really does go by fast. I'm just saying, and I agree with you. And I think there is so much of me that could sit here and bawl my eyes out at the idea that we're done having babies and we're not going to hold one of our own infants again. That's definitely sad. But Jets about to do his first tee ball practice. Yeah. And three years ago when we were holding him as an infant, that wasn't even a thought of ours. Like we're unlocking new experiences that we'll never get to have again. And you can grieve that, but you also should try to live in the moment of celebration. I agree. I think you cross the line when you, when you allow that quote unquote grief to pull you out of the present moment and like you're just living in the good old day. Reflectively. My last frustration is, and then we can carry on. I'm in this group with older men, about 20, 25 years older. And there's like 40 of us. And we're telling stories about parenting and marriage and kind of really in a pretty vulnerable way that I've not been a part of with, with like the older group like that is I'm hearing these stories and I realized it's like you can harm your kids if you give them too much or you give them too little. You can harm your kids if you spend too much time with them or too little time. Right? Like maybe you, maybe you never take or you can harm your marriage if you spend too much time with your kids or too little time with them. You know what I'm saying? Finding the balance is super hard and it's what I'm realizing is it's not a, Hey, we figured it out. We're good. And then you can just coast the rest of life. It is a no, we have a balance currently today in this exact moment and exact exact phase and tomorrow we will need to in a lot of ways figure it out again or make constant adjustment. I agree. That's not so much a frustration. It is like humbling. Like, wow, okay, we're always going to be, we're always going to be figuring it out, you know, for the rest, because every single day they grow up a little bit more and things change. They need different things. We change and the scales get reset every single freaking day. Yeah. I guess I figured at some point you get old and you're like, good, but that's not what the experience has been. All right. Here's a featured comment of today's episode. This is from a Heimer a couple of weeks ago. She said, you two have motivated me and my husband to create a mission and vision for our family and be more intentional in meeting our goals and giving our purpose in life a more concrete direction. I am so grateful to have found your podcast. I've taken all your book recommendations, many podcasts recommendations and nearly all your goal in life setting objectives. We have a nearly two and four year old and have felt quickness of time. Nowadays your content has motivated us to focus on what's important most being God, marriage and family and bless you. And I hope you continue to do this type of work for a long time. You're changing one family at a time. That'll freaking make you feel decent about this show, huh? Honestly, it might be hard to understand this. Sean and I have gotten way better at this over the years. This is our sixth year of the podcast. It used to be, Hey, let's do a show. And then we talk about whatever happened in our week. And now we've realized that it's a responsibility to prepare episodes in a way that is pleasant to listen to, that is meaningful, that's entertaining and educational. And for us to be personally challenged and aligned with, I don't know, it's like, it's a responsibility. Freaking it. We actively are trying to make our marriage better every single day. Not because it's bad, but because we think we have a duty to one another to constantly work on this and make sure it's a plus Bruce for the rest of our lives. And we like to share what we learned and how we're actively navigating that. So to see someone be able to take that away and do the same for there, it's really cool. This has motivated us to go to school or go back to school. I mean, really our, our job is in some ways to curate ideas and lessons and ideas and ideas and lessons, takeaways and products that fit our style that other people may share. This goes back to the beginning of what our style is and then share them in like a clear way. So thank you for being a part of the journey and it is fun because the style thing, like we did the podcast tour and the people we meet, it's not like we're meeting strangers. Just like, no, I know what you're about. Like if you listen to the show for hours, you've got a similar style as we do probably. Yeah. So it's not like we're meeting someone that we've never met. Actually, we just met for, I think the third time a couple who came to one of our live podcast shows who we got to meet in person and at the live podcast show, they were talking about how they had just gotten married and they were like taking our advice and they had been listening and following for so long and we just ran into him again. They came to the pro volleyball game because they knew we were going to be there because they wanted to share that. They just found out I'm still hyped about that. They were so excited and we are so excited for them, but it truly felt like family. It was really, really cool. Congratulations. And to see them working on their marriage and like furthering their family was so, so special. Yeah, it's really special. All right. Shall we do this? Courtesy of marriage. Okay. One kind of courtesy. Don't interrupt. I think I might learn something in this. Yeah. We've been thinking about common courtesies in marriage a lot and why they're important. Here's why. Okay. One, because it's so easy to get out of the habit of doing common courtesies when you're nine years into marriage like we are, but I think they become more important the longer in the marriage you get. Right. They also help set the tone for the day or the week or the month. A hundred percent. Sean and I have one common courtesy. Maybe this is unique to us and not common, but like a gentle wake ups with a peace offering in the form of a coffee is like a, that has become a, that's become today. It is just to know I love you. And it's like, cause I'll, I'll have been up for an hour and a half and I'll have cranked ACDC or whatever I'm listening to during my morning workout. That is not my vibe. And Sean is just, you know, breaching the morning light and that's our peace offering. So anyway, some other reasons to do common courtesies, which we'll talk about, but sets a great example for your kids to be seeing you do these active things for each other, whether you're newly married or 30 years into marriage. It also is a great way to show the other person that you care about them and can make them feel seen, especially in this chaotic phase of life that we're in with three kids. I'm realizing more and more how much of a choice love is. And like, that sounds romantic. What? Oh yeah. Like we don't do a podcast. I'm still a podcast. What about how it ain't the feeling it's the choice in the decisions you make. You're realizing more and more how you have to wake up and just choose. No, it's really special. It actually makes it more special. In my mind, like I am more of a recluse and I could like go out in the woods. I can go out in the woods for like three months. No, you couldn't. You think you're some, this is, this is what we talked about the other day is I don't really like technology. I didn't have any social media before. Sean, you are the tech guy. I am now. Okay. But when Andrew thinks, if it weren't for me, he would get dreads and go live on some. I had dreads. Oh, you went to Vanderbilt. Okay. Sean, I played football Vanderbilt. You got an MBA. This is not what we're talking about. My point is I have made a commitment that even though I don't really like texting or being on the phone, even if it's for a phone call, you own if my tech devices than anybody I know, if my wife calls me, I will pick up the phone. Why? Not out of obligation, but because like, that's my freaking wife, you know? So yeah, if there's going to be anybody I pick up the phone for, it should be my wife. And that's like a choice. So I'd love that. You're just learning. It seems obvious, but I'm just telling you, I'm freaking telling you what I've been through. Other reasons. Roast me for it. Then I mean, courtesies are good. Small gestures add up and making like after time, it can make you guys feel closer to one another. And also reminds you of the marriage is a priority and worth fighting for. And actions speak louder than words. Dare I say louder, the deeper into it you get. Anyway. Also, this episode is not to make anyone feel bad. If there's a lack of common courtesy and a lack of upkeep with the little things view this more as an encouragement where you to be the one to start them up again and then, you know, be an experiment to see the impact that they can have on your relationship. Uh, it can also be dangerous to lose sight of the small things that you used to do when you were dating, but it doesn't mean it's ever too late to start them back up. That's right. We'll try out some of these that we're about to go through and let us know how it goes. We're also obviously, as you could see with our pregame banter here, we're not perfect ourselves. So this is a reminder for us to do these for Sean specifically, but uh, well, one thing we do know that I can personally attest to is that it is worth the effort to prioritize each other. Like I've noticed the times when we've fought for each other. Yeah. That's what that means. I think prioritizing fighting for each other and we've noticed the times that we haven't. And so let's just like freaking make the daily choice to pick up the phone. Anyway, let's get into it. All right. It's a definition of common courtesy. Common courtesy is a level of politeness that people can generally be expected to show. It can also be defined as the basic level of politeness that is expected from someone that's from the old Miriam Webster. That's right. Back when there used to be a one finite source for definitions. Now you got urban dictionary. You guys are probably wondering what are some common courtesies that we can start implementing within our relationship. If you aren't implementing them already. Number one. Also, there's going to be obvious. These are going to sound obvious, but if you know how it gets in marriage, when it starts feeling like a roommate, we did a whole episode on the roommate phase. You start losing these things and it's like it does become more of a task and a little more laborious than it is natural. Like it might be with strangers. That's been beef with Sean towards me is like sometimes I'll be more charismatic with strangers than I am with her. Yeah. Honestly, for me, it's easier because they're not coming in with all of that. The sauce that you got, you know what I'm saying? It's like. Okay. Number one. First common courtesy is greeting each other. So when your spouse walks in the door, stop what you're doing. Put your phone away. That's right. Make eye contact with your spouse. Say hello. Hi, it's good to see you. We talked with the marshes about this idea of hospitality that hit me so hard when she said thinking of someone before they've arrived, what does it mean when someone's hospitable? It's like you feel warm and welcome there. What if you had that in your home? But greeting each other is the most basic. Greeting each other is hard sometimes, especially if you guys are married and living together. Cause like at the end of the night when we put the kids down, we've gone back and forth on this before where it's like when we both come down the stairs, different places, different times, done putting the kids to sleep. We have missed the opportunity to greet each other both times. Cause it's finally, Oh my gosh, the kids are finally down. I can, I can be on my phone undistracted. So you sit down, you're on your phone next thing you know, Sean comes down the stairs and then. And you've missed a window. Yeah. You missed the bid as they say. Yeah. So that's honestly become a rule in our house is I'll sometimes put the kids down faster. I'll have my phone out. But when, as soon as I hear Sean coming down the stairs, phones down and I'm making eye contact where they're as she's coming down the stairs. And honestly it has allowed for such a better connection and like then we'll do our debrief. It's great. As opposed, as opposed to spending an hour in conflict about like, I don't feel loved and this and that. And then like there's all these negative emotions that can kind of be highlighted with a negative interaction. We spend five minutes with a pleasant debrief. And so I think it's a one, one, one. Yeah. Anyway, give him a little hug and a kiss. Whatever is needed. That's right. Number two, listen. Don't just hear, give your full attention to your spouse when she's speaking. Just like we said, put your phone down or stop whatever you're doing. Obviously there'll be situations like in the morning, Sean and I will be making breakfast and making lunch at the same time. We'll have some light conversation, but if it's like a, if it's something that merits a full discussion, one, don't bring it up in a bad context or a certain amount of patience and discipline in that. If it becomes not a good time, kindly express that. It's better to hear what they're saying at a later time than disregard what they're saying in the moment. And I've tried something like, Hey, I would love to give you my full attention. I just feel like I need to focus on the lunch thing right now because the kids are leaving for school in five minutes. Yeah. As opposed to saying not right now. So there's that. number three, show a genuine interest in their day. Genuine. Yeah. What are you, the grammar police today? That's like the third war. Yeah. I said that intentionally like genuine. If you spent the day apart, ask how the day went for the other. Don't wait for the other person to check in with you. Ask, ask how their day was and see how they're feeling. It's good to know how their day went so you can know what to expect from them when you're together. Example, if they're exhausted, energized so you can meet them where they are. That's right. That's good. We've also, I want to add something to that. Not just show a genuine interest in their day, but show a genuine interest in their hobbies. This is something Andrew and I talked about a few years ago that it can be very easy as you get into your relationship to like develop hobbies or that are like of interest to you individually. Does it make sense? So like when you're dating, Andrew's really into watching football with the guys. And when we're dating, I kind of act like I'm interested. But as you get married, you're like, Oh, I don't really care. No, make an active time, an active effort to show interest in what your spouse is excited about. Whether you care or not, you should care about their excitement. And I love the phrase to know is to love. So if you don't love it, IE you don't care. Maybe get to know it a little better and then maybe you could say, Oh, I know it. And now my care for it is growing. What? What's the next one? Use kind words. Just like you teach kids to say, please. Thank you. And I'm sorry. Yeah. Give affirmations regularly. It can be simple such as you look great. Which one are you giggling at? Sean? Cause how many times? No, no, no. And this is, this is good. No, read the last one. Kind words also mean a kind, also means a kind tone of word, a harsh or sarcastic tone. Sean. Andrew. I'm sorry. How about that? Okay. This is one thing I've learned with the, with the words and tone thing. Uh, is I can, if, if I like touch you, the physical, the physical touch, like this, me, is that uncomfortable to you? But it changes the tone and how it's received. Cause I think you naturally assume that I'm like aggressive. No. Yeah, you do. No, you do. Oh my God. No, you do. No. Yeah. No, this is one thing I'm trying to work on. It's like, Hey, I love that. What? You don't know the reference? No. What is that? Why are you pinching my finger like that? This is Ariana Grande. That I, oh, I don't get it. Is it from wicked? Yeah. Okay. Next. You got it. Good to move on. show appreciation. Thank your spouse for both big and small acts, such as running errands, cooking dinner, or just being, just for being them. That's hilarious. That's freaking funny. This is a great way to make sure the other person knows their efforts are appreciated instead of feeling taken for granted. Or like their efforts are expected. What a hilarious thought that Andrew would be appreciated for just being him. Hilarious. Okay. Your sarcasm is palpable. What's funny about that? You're making a face. I was laughing at you. Yeah. Well, we're getting a little saucy. We should both. Yeah. Okay. Six share responsibilities. This looks different for every family and can be influenced by schedules, work, number of kids, et cetera, but do what you can to both contribute to the load of running a home and raising kids and thank each other for doing their share. Most importantly, pick up after yourself. This goes a long way. This is a common courtesy that is most definitely forgotten within your household, within your family, because you get tired and you get exhausted. But if you were in a guest house, you would pick up after yourself. What's interesting is you're highlighting that, which makes me think that it's super important to you, which now I'm learning. It is very important to me. You're just learning. I just can't believe that you're like doubling down on that one. You know, I'm serious. I can't believe that. Not to show appreciation ones. You didn't do a sidebar conversation for that. I love nothing more than a clean house. You know this. I knew you kind of liked it. I didn't know that. I was like, you've never explained it. The whole, okay. If you ask me for my favorite bra and underwear brand without hesitation, I will always say skim. What's your favorite bra and underwear brand skims. I literally threw out every single pair I owned to replace it with skim. I live in their stuff. You guys, it is worth every ounce of hype you have ever heard. And if you've heard our skims ad before, and you've been on the fence, just try it. It's seriously that good. Finding a great postpartum brought felt nearly impossible. Seriously. It took me years. It took me three kids, but then I tried the fits everybody online Demi bra, and I am genuinely so glad I gave it a shot and I gave another underwire bra shop because it is incredible. I know you're really in on this, babe. I honestly thought I was done with all the underwire bras after having kids and I was totally fine with that. But then this brought totally changed the game. It is unbelievably comfortable, super supportive and fits like it was actually made for me. Whether I'm chasing my kids around or heading to an event, it's my go to bra every single day. I've had to buy multiple so I can always guarantee I have one clean to wear and that my drawers now stocked with them. But that's also a personal problem. I probably have too many now shop skims best intimates, including the fits everybody collection and more at skims dot com and skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let us know. I send you like podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that followed seven chivalry. Andrew, if you're a man, maybe I should do a whole solo podcast on my thoughts on on this, but chivalry is not dead, nor should it ever be. I think it's still cool to do things like open the car door and hold the door open for your spouse. It's a little way to show that you want to protect them and that you mean enough for me to think about holding the door open. But it's almost like a two way street in some way. That's my form of showing you my consideration. I think you have your certain forms of showing me your consideration. It means a lot. I think it's a level of respect and manners that are, yeah, maybe old school, but I think they're very touching. At the very least, it is a layer of thoughtfulness. Yeah. Whether you agree with the whole, like the man should pay or the man, you know, it's like, well, at the very least, they're at least thinking about how might I take care of this person or show them that I want to protect them, you know, so like whatever style that looks like, I think play. Number eight, communicate directly, share openly how you're feeling instead of leaving it up for interpretation. Consult each other about plans that will affect both of you before agreeing. I'll own the second one. You own the first one. Fine. I'll own the first one. You better own the second one. I'll own the second one. Consult each other about plans that will affect both of you before agreeing. You don't need to reread that one. You already read that one. Let me read the first one. Share openly, share openly how you're feeling instead of leaving it up for interpretation. Oh my gosh. Sean will be like upset about something. I'm assuming it's me for the whole day. And then she'll be like, I've had a stomachache and a headache the whole day. I'm like, I wish you, I don't want to be a pansy. Oh my gosh. Stop. Communicate in a timely manner. If your spouse checks in with you. And avoid passive aggressive behavior or the silent treatment. We don't do the silent treatment as much as we do a sarcasm. I think you and I would both like silent treatment, but we're the opposite. I think we take it too far. We hammer it out. If we did the silent treatment, we would both take it out of stubbornness. Yeah. Nine. Be considerate in a social setting. Speak kindly of your spouse in front of always. We learned this in premarital counseling. The guy said this. And when you're speaking with your friends or family, never speak poorly about your spouse. I think that's so important because I have four siblings. I'm very close with them all. Obviously we grew up together. So they're going to more naturally take my side as are my friends probably. So if I say you wouldn't believe what Sean did, she disrespected me at it. And they're just going to be like, I can't believe she would disrespect you. And the next thing you know, it's like there's this rift that doesn't need to be there just because. Or you've pushed your spouse out of your family in like a unifying sense, which is not okay. So I don't know what the balance is because it's not like keeping it all in, but it's more of a, it's a disciplined filter of like, Hey, if you ever want to speak for advice about your spouse to a friend or a family member, you need to do so in a way where you're actively seeking to fix it and not vent and having an awareness of who's a yes man in your life and who's not. Cause like if I complain to my mom about you, she's going to take my side 100 times out of 100 problems. You think she's my mom. You know what I'm saying? I'll at least, I think she might take my side. Okay. Thank goodness. Anyway. But yeah, yeah. You should have a core group of friends that you can go to if you need advice, but that would be willing to give you a little pushback and feedback. And don't ever make your spouse feel belittled or embarrassed in a group setting. That's your ride or die. I think I've gotten better at that. I think I used to make like snide joke here and there. Nothing too crazy unless there's something that comes to mind, but I think I've more actively preserved that. I hope you felt that. Number 10, be patient with each other. Offer each other grace, especially during stressful seasons or when they're going through something such as pregnancy, postpartum, new job, a move, et cetera, and see the best in your spouse and know they're trying their best. And our interview with Dr. Mona and her advice on how to like deal with the kids, this idea of being very slow to react, slow reaction came to mind where it's like, and the Bible talks about be slow to speak and slow to anger. Um, and I was just thinking like, yeah, that's definitely a safer bet with this people that you're trying to preserve love with. You know, it's not, not a business context where you need to react with your strategy, impulse or whatever. It's like a, Hey, I can say some really hurtful things here potentially. And I can also let my emotions get the better of me in certain situations, like in the home context when it's so, uh, like constant and can feel overwhelming at times. There's not like a lot of places to escape. You're not going to the office or whatever. Uh, so it's like, just be slow to react. Keep your, keep your wits about you as they say. Anyway, couple of other courtesies that are included here. I think it just goes to show like making active efforts always are important are things like personal hygiene, respecting privacy, respecting boundaries, help without being asked. Talk about intimacy. Don't set unrealistic expectations in something as simple as family meals together. Some of those seem conflicting to me, like help without being asked, but also respecting boundaries. I could see how that'd be like really tough to balance sometimes. You know what I'm saying? I don't think helping without being asked to be crossing a boundary, but what one person might perceive as help. The other person might be like, yo, just give me my privacy. You know what I'm saying? I think it's referencing like dishes. Yeah, no, that's true. Um, it makes me think of our interview with Carl Pillmer who wrote a book called 30 lessons on loving. Talks to these old couples, like 80, 90 year old couples. And one of the guys, the interview had said that he never flatulated in front of his wife. And I was like, ah, what a bum, what an old school idea. Not fart in front of your wife. You know, what a bummer that they're missing out on that. Cause they're missing out on it. Honestly, in some ways that's a, that I would say that's a, that's a trope in, in society where it's like, I'm comfortable enough to fart in front of you, you know? But then I, as you unpack that and you hear why it's like, this guy always wanted his wife to have a good image of him, you know, not be the stinky, smelly, loud, noisy guy, which is interesting. So I have actually increased my personal hygiene game in light of that concept. Have you noticed? Yeah. Good. I got a long way to go. Yeah. But you're doing a great job. It's just kind of interesting to think. Yeah. And I've tried to up my fashion game for you as I sit here post-workout buddy. But yeah, I've noticed. Here's a challenge for you. Listening. Implement as many of these or other ones that come to mind as we're talking about this, as you can in this upcoming week before the next episode comes out and let us know how it affects your relationship. You got to comment on this video or the next one. Challenge accepted. Maybe even post on Instagram about it, tag us in stories or whatever. Just say challenge accepted and um, and let us know. But I think it'd be fun. Common courtesy. Why not? I want to test it out. I want to take it all up to the next level. People say work on your marriage. I think this is partially what they mean. It's like you work to do the common courtesy with people that you really don't need to do common courtesies with because your wife, but it's also the person you should most do it for. What an interesting balance. Yeah. I enjoyed the episode more than I thought I would. I love you. Love your sarcastic little sass. We're so grateful for all of you listening. If you made it this far and you haven't subscribed yet, please do so. There's something like 70% of the people that listen to the show that aren't subscribed to it. So don't, don't be that guy. Subscribe to the show, give it a rating and let us know if you want us to talk about any other topics. Uh, y'all are very worth coming and fun in the comments. So keep those coming and we'll see you next time. I'm Andrew. I'm Sean.