SIDEMEN CHARITY MATCH 2025 (Goals & Highlights).

The sidemen are going to get us under way. Enjoy, guys. Here we go! Relief! He's going to go for the shot! No way. I don't mind it. An out-swinging corner here from Simon. In the mixer. Oh, Logan Paul goes for it! There's a clearance off the line. Fizinga asking for a handball. It was Ginge that stopped it. Was there a hand involved? Joe Weller was very close to scoring there. Let's take a look at it. Weller, the lovely little finish. Oh, he's disgusted. He's disgusted. Get off! He should be on his shoulder! Clown slaps his hair! And they've gone to VAR! Good thing here. I think Clown took the screen and given it retrospectively. I don't mind it. All right, penalty. And it looks like it'll be Joe Weller that takes it after he won it. It's a good one to look. Weller! One-nil. Doubt. And he gives it the two. And it's not his first time scoring a Wembley, by the way. He scored in the first ever Wembley Cup ten years ago. I've just seen a suplex on him. He's been suplexed by Logan Paul. What are we seeing? It's a crossover. WWE and football. One of YouTube's good guys as well. There might have been a foul throw there, but we'll let him off it. Who's the bad guys? No comment. Chris, that's a dangerous one. Wasteful, Chris. Ginge now is a marauding centre-half. Does he fancy a long ball for Nico? He does. Oh, that's a cracking pass. He's got a decision to make. He stays. Speed's making the... Oh! He's going to give it. It's another penalty. He's going to give it a penalty. Nico's won it. Harry's given it away. He's saying it's all ball rest. Now, will Clattenburg look at the monitors once again in the crowd here and potentially overrule himself? I think Harry took the man and got the ball, but... Let's have a look. It was reckless. Nico. That's definitely a penalty. He didn't even touch the ball. Clattenburg, you got it right there, son. Fair play. Yeah, Harry. Harry, that's outrageous that you're saying you got the ball there, my son. Mr. Beast on pens, yeah? Okay. Let's have a look. Oh! Spear decision. The All-Stars live to regret. Good save from XQC, by the way. XQC. He's a big star on the net, and now he's a star in one. Free kick, though. Chris N'Dee, he claims to be better at free kicks than most Premier League footballers. Put your money where your mouth is, and you've got a lot of it. Listen, you've got a goalkeeper who has just saved a penalty, sure, but it is not the most practised of goalkeepers. Get it on target, Chris. You've got a chance here. This is it. Steps up. N'Dee! Oh! Hinge profile. That's iconic. That is iconic. Drink it! Chris N'Dee. The magic man. He always can. Chris there, eyeing up the women in the crowd. What a pig. Okay. What have you got, Chris? He's looked for it. At the back, stick! It's in! He knows how to score. He's better than he's ever been. And he's back. I mean, there will be patches of his hair on the ball, but it was a cracking header, Spencer. I mean, that is a tale as old as time. Chris N'Dee to Theo Baker. Stinked in culture. YouTube history. The ball was a tantalising one. The header was exactly what it needed. Just guided past the keeper. Where's the defender? Who's man-marking him? And he's found speed. Speed's got Theo with him. He's got a few people offside in the mix, but he's not! And he could have had a touch, but he's got it anyway! It's Lachlan who's put it away! And that is football. It is the Wizard of Oz with a wicked goal. One for the theatre fans there. I don't think it's going to be an easy... Look at this. I was about to say, they're not going to have it too easy with Ginge and Foch at the back. They're just consummate defenders. Not so much. Even it up a little bit. Play the pass, Ethan. Keep it moving. Mini Minter, can he get him back in the swing of things here? Gets the shot off! There you go! He's won it! Goals. Simon Minter. He bangs it home. It's a celebration there in honour of his expected child. He loves to see it as a baby on the way. Well, he knows how to find the target. He's proved that. We have a game on our hands. 3-2. Danny Arons gets the ball from Ginge. Looking at his options. He could use a bit more width out there. A bit more opportunities for Ginge. I've been going direct. It's like a flying V here. They're all off apart from Theo who's not. Bursting through. Baker! Might be a baker, but he's cooking. He really is. And this time, he's not sat in the corner of a hotel room. It's almost too easy. I think people were expecting the flag to go off on speed. Theo Baker plays to the whistle. Toby's going to take this corner on the outside of the boom. Josh Simon! Great safety sketch. He's done it again. Very impressed by both goalkeepers so far. We've got about eight subs ready to come on for the All-Stars, by the way, lined up. Forward ball to Josh. Great touch from Durka. Through ball. It might not be a goal, but it could be in the six. Sketch again. Sketch is up there with my football man of the match right now. Lovely touch from Simon. Weller. Left foot. That's how he likes it. It's in! It's the curse of the commentator. Beats the second goal for Joseph Weller. He's scored again. Gets them closer to equalising. Here's Manny. Josh, make your run, Josh. Make your run. Take the defender away. He's onside. Play to Josh. This is it. Play to Josh. No! Danny Aarons. Nearly scored. I've got it anyway. This is a joke. You can't take your eyes off it. Danny Aarons nearly scored one of the most ridiculous home goals of all time. And then Toby follows up with that. To be or not to be. Well, it is to be today for all. Joe Weller, he's on a hat-trick. Could it be now? Corner comes in. Headed by Logan Paul. Rover at the back stick. Sticks it back in the mixer. JME gets up. Needs a keeper. It's Logan Paul. It's Logan coming. WWE superstar. Boxer. And now soccer goal scorer. The man is in his prime. Deji overrunning it though. Gives it to Manny. Manny looking at the back post to Weller. He's on a hat-trick here. Can he make it three? Got to be. Give it to Josh. Surely. Klassenburg wants a word with Foch. Josh, you've got to take this. Hang on, what's going on here? There we go. There's your clip. He's shredded it. We have fun. Outrageous from Foch. Take your time. Pick your spot. And make history. What's he got in his locker? Apart from boiled sweets and Viagra. Josh. Yes! The Joshua Television says, do not refresh your browsers. They said it couldn't be done. Well, it's been done. And it can't be undone. The side men complete the collection. And Josh gets his goal. Look at what it means to them. Both managers celebrating. Everyone delighted. I don't think there's a dry eye in the house. Well done, Joshua Zurka. Got to be a goal. Speeds offside. That'd be a goal, Ginge. Oh! Very generous of Ginge. Yeah, he can't deny the man. I'm not even sure that was going in. Speed's going to take it. We've just had Josh break his duck and score a goal. We could see Speed about to do the same thing. Surely he scores this. He missed last year against XQC. Could this be his moment? Here we go. The former mayor of Peru. Darren, a.k.a. Speed! He's in! Wow. Scene. Absolute scene. Six, five. It didn't come quickly. But Speed finally gets his goal. And look what it means to him. He's done it. It's Reminiscent of Pele winning the World Cup for Brazil and being lifted by his peers. Chris and Dee on... I don't know anymore. Oh, Kaki's overrun it, giving it to Chunks. Ginge is off. Speed doesn't leave it. Ginge was off 100%. This is your moment, Ginge. He scores. There you go. But that was offside. And if he'd left it for Speed, he wouldn't have been. And he might go back and change it. But let's just pretend we didn't see it. Ginge gets the goal. The decision to put him up front looks to be vindicated. Lovely finish. Six apiece. The postman delivers, even on a weekend. Questions will be asked. Back underway here. Forward from the throw-in is beautiful. Simon in the middle. It's off! By the way, Willerney has just thrown himself at the ball in an act of bravery. Too much. Chunks, a moment of madness on the ball. Surely he scores. That is what you call ghost goalkeeping. It's gone absolutely through him like the curry I had last week. Chunks with another goal. I believe that's three in three for the big man. He knows where the back of the net is. Here he is. The baker. Looking for Speed in the box. What a ball. Speed hits it. Oh, he's still got it. Oh, he's got it back. I'll be the most prolific finisher. But he can provide like nobody else. What a move from the Americans. Over to Willer. He's got quite a deep starting position here. We know what he can do in the box. Willerney like a baby giraffe. He wants to beat him again here. He's done it again. Twice. Can he make it three? He sees Manny in the box. Great touch. Manny. What a safe sketch. Toby against Theo. Oh, yeah. Manny. The brothers link it up. Manny. Finish. Seven. Good goal for Manny. Once again, we're seeing the brothers link up. It's beautiful to see. Come on, Manny. Here we go. Gene's trying to apply some pressure to Ethan. And he's off. Gets it to Manny. Manny, like a bull with gas. He's got his brother to the right. Finds Toby. Could there be a chance here? Toby plays it into Simon. Can he put it back? This could be. Ethan! And it's eight. Oh, and will we see a knee slide? There it is. Right on cue. Come on, you iron. Come on, you bazinga. The sidemen have played their way back into this game. JJ plays it back. Not sure what he was thinking there. Yeah, XQC. Get rid of it, mate. Jeez Louise. JJ. Oh, JJ. It's got to be a goal for speed. Surely. There was a pass done. Oh, what a save! Wow! It is unreal for XQC. He might have broken his wrist. But, my God, was it worth it. Get his rating up to a five. It works for him. He's a unit. Can he get this cleared? No. National League North at best. He's just kicked it basically in his own net. I think Clarke has finished it. But, Ginge, you're doing so well, son. You might have just crossed your team the game. Here comes Chris M.D. Great part of the form. If anyone can score, it's this man. For a hat-trick! Yeah! Famously scored a hat-trick at Wembley to win the World Cup. Well, Theo Baker can join that list. A hat-trick at Wembley. I'll tell you what. He's got one hand on the golden boot. And he's just kept his team in the game. It's penalty, Spencer. Never before have we seen a penalty shootout. But this man who's stepping forward has had that feeling time and time again. Simon Minter. Huge moment for him. He's had a great game. He's still the highest rated on football, by the way. He knows what he's doing from here. Surely he scores. There's no way Sketch saves a penalty from Simon. There's no way. This is the banker. It's just which corner he's putting it in. Stick it on target. It goes in. Simon! What a save! This is what I'm talking about! It's a chance to be heroes! Look at the smile on that young man's face! What's up, brother? And the YouTube All-Stars can't believe it. What a moment for Sketch. No one saw that coming! What a save that is! It's actually sensational from the lad. That's the NFL experience coming through there. It is. Blame them for safety. No touchdown for you. And Deji steps forward. Deji! Seriously? Deji, please score this, mate. Where's the goggles now, son? Left-footed! He was left-footed. Deji! That will do. He puts it away beautifully. That's the first 10,000 unlocked from Prime there. Of course it is. Stick it on the totaliser. What a finish from Deji. I never knew he was left-footed. I don't think anyone's ever seen him kick a ball before. That's why. He's played him pretty much every game. But I've never seen him kick a ball. Show Simon how it's done. How it's done, even. The YouTube All-Stars are in the lead. And now it's over to Mark Rober, who needs to engineer a way to get Sidemen back in this game. 44 years young. Some would say that makes him old. I say that makes him experienced. Mark Rober against Sketch. Has he got a foot like an engine? Rober! Lovely. Guns the keeper the wrong way. Well done, you. Great finish from Mark there. And he keeps the Sidemen in the game as Theo Baker steps up. It's another 10k from Prime as well. Thank you very much. Sketch, at one of the moments of the game, denied Mini Minta and denied 10,000 to charity. Thanks a lot, Sketch. Theo's already got a hat trick. I think he's my man of the match, especially when you consider the redemption arc. The only thing that could spoil it would be if he missed the penalty now. I just can't see it happening. Theo! Yeah! That's what you've got to do, lads. That's what you've got to do. Water is wet and Theo Baker scores. And he's also wet probably after scoring. Aren't we all? And 10,000 pounds chuck it on. Cha-ching. Here comes... 30k so far we've raised in this shootout. Harold up next. And this man can hit them. Oh, he can. Especially when there's a lot on the line. He needs to score, to be fair. Not mathematically, but a miss here would put the Sidemen in a difficult position. He's got highlights in his hair. Can he get a highlight in this game? Surely Sketch can't save another one. Harry! Oh, my God! It sneaks in. That would have been a ridiculous save from Sketch. I mean, the nerves going through the Sidemen boys must be through the roof. Look at Sketch getting to these penalties. He's committing himself wholeheartedly, and I love it. But it goes in. And now the next U2 all-star stepping up, Chris M.D. Now he has missed a penalty in one of these games before. First ever game at Southampton. Denied by Hugh Whizzy. But it's a team of bankers. Chris M.D. does not miss. XQC, you need to match what Sketch did against Sidemen. Time for a save. The only thing he misses is, of course, his X. Chris! There you go! Solid as a rock. He is a big gooner. And not just because she left him. It's another 10K. He's doing the meditation celebration. And he was calm and composed there. Joe Weller bowling up to the spot now. Scored a penalty already in the game. Two in the match in total. Now, I can tell you, Spencer, he's going to hit it to his right, keep his left. But I'm not sure Sketch will have much to do about it. It's a long run-up. Weller! Get in. Very similar to his one in the game. Just a well-hit pen. You're not going to get to those. He loves it. Loving life there, Weller. It's a big goal for the Sidemen. They needed it. Now, if the All-Stars score this, Sidemen have to score their last pen. Who's been giving it? It's Nick Armolano. He really should have scored in the game, Steve. He should. But was he saving it for this moment? XQC, over to you, to make this a very interesting finale. Six goals already in the shootout, 60,000 from Prime. Nicko. On. Here. Yarn up. Oh, he's just done enough. He's done enough. And now we have, essentially, a sudden death scenario now. Sidemen have to score, All-Stars have to miss, or it's over. And who's the man to keep them in the game? JJ. It's the main man, the captain of this ship. Let's face it, it's a team effort of the Sidemen. But this man started it. He basically started the UK YouTube scene. And now you've got the whole world watching, my son. You've got to score, or your team lose. I mean, if he doesn't score contractually, we're not allowed to speak about his misses, so... Sketch has got different ideas, though. It's JJ versus Sketch. JJ has to score or the Sidemen lose. Not like this. Slow run-up. We didn't need it. Not like this. Come on, JJ. Put it away. That'll do it. Wow. Well done. He's in the thick of it. I'll tell you what, Spencer. I was convinced Chumch was going to be on this last penalty. It's speed. No. I really am not sure if that's a wise decision. The finishing in that game from Speed was tantamount to treason. But if he scores, he wins it. Will it be denied? XQC, this is your moment. Forget everything. I don't know how many goals you've conceded across the last two games. I think it's about 15-odd. But forget about that. Save this one. Speed to win it for YouTube All-Stars. They can put it either side. Stand down the middle, XQC. It's going to be the biggest sue you've ever heard if this goes in. Here we go. Speed! No! For a beauty contest. But it gets in over the line. There's the backflip. And it's a YouTube All-Stars win on the biggest day in Sidemen history. They've spoiled the party. XQC was so close to glory there. But there's no shame in that. Look at it. There you go. Sketch lifts that trophy with pride, my son. Lift it up. He smashed it. When it mattered, he came through. Wow, look at the scenes here. And the YouTube All-Stars are your Sidemen Charity Match 2025 champions. And they did it on a big occasion. Wembley Stadium, packed out.