John Cleese Insults Taylor Swift's Cat Olivia - The Graham Norton Show

Well, two of you have things in common. Taylor and John, the love of the cats. Now, you've two, Taylor? Yeah, I have two. Two. I like the cat. Can we see those pictures again, possibly? Because I asked Taylor what kind of cats they were, and you said they were one. Well, I only have two. He showed a picture of, like, 17 cats. Yeah. That's in your future. Here comes Taylor, crazy cat lady. That's a few years down the road. But this is Olivia. How did it have the accident? What? Is that a proper cat, or is it damaged? It's the weirdest cat I've ever seen in my life. John Cleese, you cannot say that is the weirdest cat you've ever seen in your life. Here's a picture of John Cleese's cat. Look at that! On the left is my wife. She's not a cat. That's a monster! That's a main tuna. That is not climbing your curtains. It's an American breed, and the reason it's not here tonight is it didn't want to come. But just when it didn't come, because KP down there, really allergic. Yeah, I'm allergic to cats, so I'm not a massive fan of cats, yeah. Cats and I just... I love that phrase, I'm not a massive fan. I was very selective in my choice of words. Because I know there'll be a lot of people watching this show, I don't want them to think I hate cats. I'm in South Africa this time next week on safari, and I like the big cats. Oh, the big cats. The big cats, I'm absolutely at ease with. I'd prefer to be, and probably some people don't know about me, I'd prefer to be on safari, watching animals with animals, more than I'd like to be on this sofa or playing cricket. Animals and me are just... I love animals, but I'm allergic to cats. Sorry to keep you. We people would rather be anywhere else than here. I was giving you a compliment saying you rate alongside my other love of cricket. Oh, thank you. Very good, yeah, very good. It's weird, I feel weird about it. But you see, you're the opposite. You're the opposite to a cat, because if you don't like a cat, a cat will come and sit at your ankle. A cat will come and sit on your lap. That's right. And that's what happens. Because they're intelligent. Fuck you. A dog wouldn't do that. A dog would say, oh, master, master, who shall I bite next? I much prefer cats. They're unpredictable and cussed, like women. Oh, we don't want to do that. And I would look at their Instagram pages or their Tumblr or their Twitter or whatever, and just kind of watch them for months and months. No, I love learning. You do your chess match, and then you... Test match.