Ricky Gervais has Hollywood Shook – Golden Globes 2020

All right, so we have a Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes, guys. Let's jump into it. The 77th annual Golden Globe Awards live from the Beverly Hilton Hotel here in Los Angeles. I'm Ricky Gervais. Thank you. You'll be pleased to know this is the last time I'm hosting these awards, so I don't care anymore. I'm joking. I never did. That was obvious, sir. NBC clearly don't care either. Fifth time. So, I mean, Kevin Hart. I mean, I think they like what he does, right? He obviously is just going to roast everyone consistently. So this is just why he's just loved. Yes. Was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets. Hello. Right. Lucky for me, the Hollywood foreign press can barely speak English and they've no idea what Twitter is. So I got off of this gig by fax. So let's go with a bang. Let's have a laugh at your expense, shall we? Remember, they're just jokes. We're all going to die soon, and there's no sequel. So yeah, remember that. We've got Leslie Knope. But you all look lovely, all dolled up. You came here in your limos. I came here in a limo tonight, and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. So, no, shush. It's her daughter. I don't think Tom Hanks liked that one right there, guys. I don't think that he enjoyed that one right there, guys. Sorry for. OK, that must be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to her. And her dad was in Wild Hogs. So lots of big celebrities here tonight. I mean, legends, icons. Yeah. This table alone. Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Baby Yoda. Oh, that's Joe Pesci. Sorry. I love you, man. Don't have me whacked. But tonight isn't just about the people in front of camera. In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world. People from every background, but they all have one thing in common. They're all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He's coming for you. He's coming for you. Look, talking of all you, it was a big year. It was a big year for movies. Surviving R. Kelly, leaving Neverland to Pope's. Shut up. Shut up. I don't care. I don't care. Guys, the look on this man's face is like, bro, why? Why do you keep allowing this man to be here? That's kind of what's happening, right? I have no idea. The guy who he's talking about, never seen in my life, right? But he does not like the fact that Ricky Gervais is calling him out on all of this nonsense, guys. Many talented people of color were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about that. The Hollywood foreign press are all very, very pissed. So fifth time. So we were going to do a new memoriam this year, but when I saw the list of people that had died, it wasn't diverse enough. It just, no. It was mostly white people. And I thought, nah, not on my watch. Maybe next year. Let's see what happens. No one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to cinema. No one really watches network TV. Everyone's watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out going, well done, Netflix. You win everything. Good night. But no, no. I mean, they're not lying. He's not lying. I think that, honestly, within 20 years, this whole thing that we all exist within, in terms of going out to see movies and the biggest celebrities are some actors. Bro, no. The biggest celebrities generally are, honestly, right now. If you're in my age group, I'm 35. We still remember the celebrity actors because they meant something then at one time. In 20, 30 years, no chance. Ask the youngest kids in your family, the youngest children about actors and then ask them the same thing about some random TikTok influencer. Go. You will see instantly that this old guard of Hollywood is gone, right? New media is absolutely taking this over fast because we're at the end of it. We got to drag it out for three hours. You could binge watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show. That's a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer and it's still more fun than this, okay? Spoiler alert, season two is on the way, so in the end, he obviously didn't kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he's your friend, but I don't care. Oh, no. Oh, no. You had to make your own way here. Oh, he doesn't care. He doesn't care, guys. Right, but you had to make your own way here in your own plane, didn't you? Right, but seriously, most films are awful. Lazy remakes, sequels. I've heard a rumor there might be a sequel to Sophie's Choice. I mean, that'd just be Meryl Streep going, well, it's got to be this one then. Guys, I'm laughing because I have no idea what the hell he's talking about, guys. All the best actors have jumped to Netflix and HBO, you know, and the actors who just do Hollywood movies now do fantasy adventure nonsense. They wear masks and capes and really tight costumes. Their job isn't acting anymore. It's going to the gym twice a day and taking steroids, really. Have we got an award for most ripped junkie? Martin Scorsese, the greatest living director, made the news for his controversial comments about the Marvel franchise. He said they're not real cinema and they remind him of theme parks. I agree, although I don't know what he's doing hanging around theme parks. He's not big enough to go on the rides, is he? It's tiny. Right, The Irishman was amazing. It was amazing. It was great. Long, but amazing. It wasn't the only epic movie. Once upon a time in Hollywood, nearly three hours long, Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end, his date was too old for him. It's because like Leonardo DiCaprio, he likes like 22 year old girls, right? Nothing's wrong with it, do your thing. But that's just what the joke is kind of about. Even Prince Andrew's like, come on, Leo, mate. Oh, no, relax. Nearly 50, son. The world got to see James Corden as a fat. He was also in the movie Cats, but no one saw that. Wait, wait, hold on. Cats has a movie. Guys, I grew up in New York, right? So like I remember going on a field trip to see Cats the musical. It was boring. To be honest, I didn't like Cats. I liked Rent a lot better as a play. But I don't know why you'd make a movie, guys, right? Either way, the reviews are shocking. I saw one that said this is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs. But Dame Judi Dench defended the film, saying it was the role she was born to play because she I can't do this next time. Right now. Give it to me. Give it to me. Because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg in her own furball. She's old school. Oh, no, no, not the men's guys, not the men's. Oh, Apple rolled into the TV game with a morning show, a superb drama. Yeah, a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. So when you say you're woke, but the companies you work for, I mean, unbelievable. Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS started a streaming service, you'd call your agent, wouldn't you? So if you do win an award tonight, don't use it as a platform to make a political speech, right? You're in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, right, come up, accept your little award, write your agent and your God and **** off. Okay. Guys, I love the fact that they keep cutting to Tom Hanks. I think he has like consistently the best reaction to the absolute onslaught of shenanigans that's happening on the stage right now. Guys, Tom Hanks, best reaction. Right. Let's do the first award. The first award. The first award is for best actor in a television series, musical or comedy. To present the award are a couple of actors off the telly. What can I say? Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon. In a little while, we're going to see a short clip from the Irishman. It's 88 minutes long. So I'm guessing this movie was absolutely long. Guys, I've never even heard of the movie Irishman. So I'm guessing that it's super long with how he's making fun of it. At least what, six hours maybe? Here are Sofia Vergara and Matt Bomer. As you know, the meal tonight was all vegetables, as are the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Please welcome their president, Lorenzo Soria. Knives Out has three nominations tonight. Yeah. See what can happen if you don't dress people up as cats? It's that easy. Here are two of the nominated stars, Ana de Armas and Daniel Craig. Our next presenter starred in Netflix's Bird Box, a movie where people survive by acting like they don't see a thing. Sort of like working for Harvey Weinstein. You did it. I didn't. You did it. Shut up. Sandra Bullock. That's it. Good night. Thank you. Please donate to Australia. Have a great time. Get drunk. Take your drugs. All right, guys, continue hiring him for at least the next couple of years. You know, for as long as Hollywood will be relevant. Right. Yeah, just keep keep hiring him. Ricky Gervais is an absolute genius with this, guys. Right. The talent that this man has to speak his mind is amazing. Right. Absolutely. Listen, let me know in the comments the next thing from him that I should be checking out. And I will get into that as soon as I possibly can. All right. Listen, you guys all have an absolutely amazing day. Enjoy it thoroughly.