The Funniest Moments In Talk Show History Compilation

Comedian Stephen Merchant tries out pickup lines on Nicole Scherzinger. So ladies, if you react just as if Stephen has come up to you in a party or a bar. Hey, looking good. Saw you on the X Factor, Nicole. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Jesus, that was enthusiastic. I'm not actually hitting on you. It's like... Excuse me, who, wait, who are you? Forget you, I'll talk to your more beautiful friend in the middle. Okay. Harrison Ford definitely didn't play this off very well. I read it and I thought it was awesome. I thought it was great. I read about the character that Ryan... Ryan? It's Ryan. Ryan. And I called up the producers and I said, why don't we see if we can get... Ryan. Ryan Gosling. Yeah. I don't know how to... Did you say Rosling? Gosling. Ryan... Yes. In the reception room like you. Like in the green room. And it have one camera in a lady's toilets. I would like to very much see these ladies from all sides make a toilet. Borat made everyone laugh and cringe at the same time when he made this inappropriate joke towards singer Melanie Blatt, who was married at the time. It looks to me, I don't want to point the finger at anybody, it looks to me like Melanie may well be up for it because she seems to be responding in a way. You'd like to make a toilet, Melanie? How much is she? During a game of dares, Elizabeth Banks dared Kylie Minogue to serenade an unattractive man of her choice. Don't do the spit swallow question you did last time. What? I'm not playing. Find an unattractive male and serenade him. The camera just popped to Ricky Gervais. Try to make yourself click. Tiffany Haddish literally couldn't stop flirting with Dave Bautista during this interview. I transitioned from amateur wrestling to professional wrestling to jujitsu. I know a little jujitsu from movies. Let's all do jujitsu together. Is this a sex thing again? No, it's not. Don't tell me. Oh my God, look at you Dave. Yes, beefcake. Eat beefy. You look amazing. All right. Gordon Ramsay exposes chef Gino DeCampo for climbing into his sleeping bag at 2am while filming their TV show. When you slept in the caravan, was that a fun experience? 2.30 in the morning, this little f***er's in my sleeping bag. He's spooning me. I couldn't hear noises. He got in the bed with you. He undone the zip and got inside the blanket. I was scared. Hold on. You were f***ing naked. Scared. That doesn't matter. Yes, it does. Later on in the interview, Gino hilariously claps back at Gordon for how he likes to wake people up. Should we talk to Jonathan the way you wake me up in the morning by bashing your willy on my foot? I told you I needed to pee. Oh, so then you wake somebody up by doing that? I mean, that is not true. Ramsay, did you or did you not bang your willy on his foot? Yes. Cameron Diaz and Kylie Minogue were talking about how they wish more guys would ask them out on dates. Richard Ayoade had a great response. Cameron, you're single at the moment. I am. And Kylie, you're single at the moment. Now, Kylie Minogue. I'm single at the moment. Well, hello. But Cameron Diaz and Kylie Minogue, can guys ask you out? Yeah, you just ask. But yeah, yeah. What's the ratio of people asking you out to you saying yes? Good question. Actor Charlie Hunman came face to face with the guy that stole his prom date back in the day. There was a really popular girl at school. I sort of waited until the last moment, last couple of days, and asked the girl if she'd like to go with me. She said yes the day before the disco. Turns out that she was actually going to go with somebody else. And that other person was actually Charlie. Sebastian Lippiat. Rachel Gould. Yes, you know who it is. Wow. British singer James Blunt got a little embarrassed when Graham Norton read out some of his tweets. I have this dire need to listen to James Blunt when I'm menstruating. Useful feedback. I'll pass this on to my marketing team. What would he even tweet about? Boning your mom. They're 77 years young. I met Vanessa. Vanessa Feltz. And she said to me, here's Joan. She's 77 years young. And I want to say, and here's Vanessa. And she's 350 pounds thin. Let's just say Conan O'Brien got a little overexcited when Nina Dobrev showed him her yoga move. I want to see you do this yoga move. And I have to take off my shoes if I'm going to be really doing this. And I need your help. OK. Oh, wow. What do I do? Just stay straight. And because usually you do this in a yoga studio and there's a wall. So I'm going to have to use you as my wall. Is that OK? Boo hoo. There we go. This is awesome. Oh. Naomi Scott had a hilarious response to Kevin Hart's plan to keep his kids humble and down to earth. You brought your kids back to Philadelphia. Yes. I want to make sure that my kids understand the value of hard work. And I don't want you thinking that what we have in our lifestyle is how it's supposed to be. Because it's not. We take a trip. And we land. And I said, I'm going to show you where I grew up so you can understand. And you'll probably get. Yeah. Lesson didn't start till we got off the plane. Norm Macdonald wouldn't let Courtney Thorne talk about her movies in peace. He was great. He did a wonderful job. Do you have a scene where you and him embrace? Yeah, lots of making out. All right. It's like nine and a half weeks, but carrot top. Wow. Is it called nine and a half seconds? There's this movie coming out. Yes. Title undetermined at this point. Chairman of the board. Oh, all right. Do something with that, you freak. I bet the board is spelled B-O-R-E-D. Sacha Baron Cohen had perhaps the funniest acceptance speech of all time. This movie was a life changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful parts of America. But I saw some dark parts of America. An ugly side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the angles and technicals of my co-star, Kendra Bishop. When I was in that scene and saw your two wrinkled golden globes on my chin. I thought to myself, I'd better win a bloody award for this. Did you start acting right away or did you have to get other work? No, I had to wait my way around New York and save money. Wait tables? Did you do that? Yeah, I did that. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. That's a great job, isn't it? It's like, wow. Yeah. And they don't tip either. Especially when you yell at them. Well, I have boobs. Yeah, but you know, I have boobs, so. You do. I got some nice tips. I don't know. Right? I'm just slowing things down for the person that types out for the audience who are hard of hearing. T-I-P-S. Nice tips. When Graham Norton roasted Jamie Foxx and Steve Carell's throwback pictures. What age are you here? You look 47. I was 18 right there. Now, if you thought Jamie Foxx looked old there, I think you were about 20. I see no problem. Are you about 20 years old there? Yeah. Patrick Stewart wasn't impressed with his Star Trek action figure, especially compared to Liam Neeson's one. This one is Liam's, and then we've also got. Oh, wait a minute. Size isn't everything. Don't worry, I've seen the disturbance in the force. And this is Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Idris Elba had an embarrassing sexting fail. I bet Idris is good at texting. No. But there comes a time of night when someone should just take Idris's phone away. Did you mean to send this to the world? Oh, no, don't do it. It's late, you know what I'm saying? Come over, this is me. Does it mean to be a text? And then I looked away for a second, looked back, and it has gone, Twitter, send. And I was like. That could have been much worse. I should have done a picture of my nuts or something, do you know what I mean? Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have been close friends since childhood. During the 2016 Golden Globes, Ricky Gervais decided to roast Matt's best bud for cheating on his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner. Pretty savage. Our next presenter is the star of the hilarious comedy, The Martian. He's also the only person who Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to. Please welcome Matt Damon. Thank you. Denzel Washington couldn't handle it when Graham Norton did this to one of his audience members. Who's there? Hello. I live in Manchester, and it's my birthday today. What does he want, a prize? We were all born. Dave Chappelle explains his problem with the Planet of the Apes movies. He saw that movie, Planet of the Apes, with Mark Wahlberg. The remake, yeah. Well, yeah, they're both racist to me, man. Like, you know, just get your damn dirty ape hands off me. I'm like, oh, come on, what are you really talking about? All right? And then they had, the apes were setting the dinner. Yeah, I'm not even making this up. They was eating watermelon. I was like, oh, come on, man. I've never actually watched those movies. Is that stuff true? Joan Rivers talks about what it's like to grow old. It's about aging that I didn't realize. It's very hard if you were attractive. You guys don't have to worry. But you, you are going to have to worry. It's very hard for a woman to get older. Because I always faked orgasm. And now these old guys, you're moaning grown in the wrong ear. They don't hear it. Eva Mendes and Conan O'Brien discuss their fun areas. I just have a healthy attitude about it. You know, when you gain a little weight, I fluctuate between five and ten pounds. It's not all bad. It goes to the fun areas as well, right? So you have to embrace that. Let's talk about that. I didn't think about that, but it would. It would go to other areas. You don't think about my fun areas? Well, no. I didn't say that. See, my fun area doesn't get bigger when I eat. In fact, if I eat a lot, it can look smaller. Graham Norton ran into Dame Judi Dench in London's biggest gay nightclub. You know, I've never, ever been to a club in my life. What a terrible. You lie like a rogue. Oh, do I? Yes. I bumped into you in heaven. Oh, yes. They took us in through the back door. Wouldn't they? Story of her life. You know what? You look like that. You look like a pretty pony. I've looked for years for a pretty pony. So here I am. Oh, get that saddle ready. I'm supposed to bring the saddle. Oh. Christ, I'm going to ride Cameron Diaz like a pony. Somehow, Cameron Diaz's cleavage helped British comedian Jimmy Carr during his first performance in America. It's petrifying. It was the first time I was over there. I was doing Jay Leno. It's a big deal. And I'm there backstage and I'm pacing up and down. And you're on with these kind of A-list people. It's a bit, it's just daunting. I'm wandering up and down, just feeling kind of nervous. And Cameron Diaz, who's over there, God bless her, is wearing this amazing gold lame thing. Wow. No bra. What the? There was discussion in the corridor as to whether you would be able to see the boobage when she leant forward. It's not easy performing stand-up with an Arabian, but it was good. The audience member didn't seem happy about a joke Will Smith made towards his partner. No, that's very good. That's great. You want a sip? Hold on. You can drink from the other side. Oh, no. You can say what you think. That's good. It's not too bad. I'm not mad at that. When Conan O'Brien shot his shot at Salma Hayek. Now I heard, and tell me if this is a rumor or not, but I heard that you like Irish guys. I love Irish men. I have this thing for them. What is it about Irish men you like so much? Oh, they're very passionate. They're almost Mexican. Wait a minute. You're Irish, aren't you? Yeah, I'm as passionate as any Mexican guy. That's what I said. Yeah. You're single, right? Yeah. How are you? I'm fine. I'm sorry. Idris Elba got roasted for an old acting clip from the start of his career. Your American accent has not always been that good. Space Precinct from 1994. Oh, yeah. They dubbed my voice. It's not me. It's beautifully done, the dubbing. You may not even notice that it's not Idris speaking. Hot delivery anywhere on Altar, guaranteed. Cher tells David Letterman why she never wanted to go on his show. What was the reason? I mean, you must have had a change of heart about something. I don't know, because I thought that I would never want to do this show with you. Now, why? Now, let's explore this a little. Why? Because you thought I was a- An ass. I think Cher hurt Dave's feelings a little, because five minutes later, this happened. And why African, kind of? Why that motif? Where are we going? I'm going to reach over here and grab something. Like the ass I am. Miriam Margulies had an interesting reaction to meeting Sir Lawrence Olivier. Do you get starstruck when you meet new people? I do sometimes. I remember when I was young and I met Lawrence Olivier, and I remember so distinctly that I started to cr- him in my knickers. I could feel it. Here's what happens when you put two quick-witted comedians on a couch together. It could go too far. Maybe you would be in actual danger. There were some times, you know, where things got a little hairy. No pun intended. That was a pun in English. Oh, I see, yeah. Thank you. We wouldn't laugh there either. Kate Beckinsale was talking about a prank she pulled on her boyfriend at the time, where she put chocolate on his butt while he was sleeping to make him think he pooped himself. Dominic Cooper needed more context. I thought it was a piece of chocolate. It wasn't a Toblerone. Did you feel bad? No, I was absolutely thrilled. Did you like it? But I thought I was going to have the thing in the morning of, oh, Kate, you put chocolate in my butt. Did other people notice this thing? You're very disturbed by this. I am. It wasn't up it. No, I know. Was it nutty? No! What's the matter with him? During Johnny Carson's last year on air, Don Rickles came on for one last roast session. I'm so glad. I was backstage. Everybody's packing. I'm getting the hell out of here before he decides to come back. Well, where are you going to work when I leave? I'm not retiring. I'm just stepping down as the host of this show. You're finished. There are other things I want to get him. Stop trying to be graceful. They asked you to get out and you're walking away. You got $40 million. You shouldn't walk away. Come on. I know what you got. I saw your house at the beach. I'm comfortable. Comfortable? When the man spits, there's a guy to catch it. You have a place now in Utah or something, right? Yeah. Are these too fast? No, no. Now you know why they want to dump him. You ask the man a question, he goes, nobody ever asked me that before. Ed Sheeran didn't recognize his childhood best friend in the audience. So I went to Brandiston. Oh, sweet. Yeah. Did we know each other? Yeah. Did we? Say James. Hello. Yeah. James. Yes. Me. That's the one. What the f**k? He was my best mate growing up. You're kidding. Johnny Carson couldn't believe how witty Emanuel Lewis was. We've never met before until right this moment. That's right. Yeah, it's a pleasure to meet you. Thank you. You surprised me. I, for some reason, I thought you were going to be taller. You have a girlfriend? Let's just put it this way. I have girls that are friends. My uncle put me in a cup, like in Disneyland, and I thought I had some bakaka. You what? Some bakaka. You did a little kaka in the cup? I turned 19 when we first went to Hobbiton. I was talking to Pete when we were there on my last day. It was my 19th birthday in Hobbiton. Isn't that wild? Wild. How many people can say that? I had my birthday party in Hobbiton. Hobbiton. I was circumcised at Disneyland. Jamie Dornan was on a press run to promote his movie 50 Shades of Grey, which is based on a book. However, one fan wasn't impressed by it. So how many women here, so shout out, how many women here have read the books? How many men have read the books? Show yourself. Did you really, have you really read the books? Yeah. Did you enjoy them? No, they're s**t. That lovely dress, and you get the belt there going on, and the shoes. Yeah, keeping it all. You're fully clothed is what I'm saying. Thank you for arriving fully clothed. That's all right. Well, I don't know how I'll leave, but. You will. When Morgan Freeman delivered a monologue about Graham Norton. You haven't been to Scotland or? I've been to Scotland. I went to Isle of Skye. Oh, that's very close to Ireland. Oh my gosh. It's so beautiful there. Yes, it is. Yeah. Every time I think about it, that's true. And we were, I know. Oh my gosh. Well, I was there during summer too. So it goes on all night long. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, David, I'll do it. Benedict Cumberbatch reacts to a post someone made on Reddit after seeing him in the street. And we've got a picture of you on set that day. She saw Benedict and went on to Reddit. So she writes, b**ches, he is fine. He's taller than I thought. I suspected he was about 5'11", wannabe six footer. But no, I'm telling you, he's six foot tall. Much more muscly than I was expecting. Those arms, that ass. There's not an ounce of fat on that man. It's all muscle, sinew, and wholesome goodness. You look great. That's a tremendous outfit. And the reason that's a tremendous outfit is you have tremendous legs. Fantastic legs. The lovely, well-shaped, muscular, lengthy, lovely legs. Your legs, I'm telling you. You could. You got something there. Run, you know how it works, how it works. Where you're sitting, be very careful of Amanda Holden. She's just had her nipples insured for two million pounds. Allegedly. Is it a million each? Apparently. I haven't. I mean, they're not worth a fiver each. I would. No, you haven't. There. Graham Norton always pulls up the worst pictures of his guests. Bill, you and Jada, you're kind of, you know, real Hollywood couplers and a power couple now. Are you looking at her food? That's not a good, that picture, why did you do that? I'm looking at her like, food. I'm looking like I'm still breastfeeding. It's been a fantastic journey. And we've got a picture of you. There you are, being graduated by Alexander Skarsgård. You are so provocative, Graham. Why are you showing that? It's a lovely moment of celebration, Nicole. I kissed my husband, too. Well, he is right there.