“I don’t like chocolate” monologue performed by Mara Northcutt

Hey, what's up? I'm Mara Northcutt. I'm 17 years old, and I live in Rapid City, South Dakota. What? Oh, oh no. No, that's okay. No, no really. I'm all right. No, thanks. No more for you. Seriously, seriously. I don't like chocolate! There. I said it. I don't like chocolate, and there's nothing you can do to make me think otherwise. What's so great about chocolate anyway? It only comes in like two flavors, and you can't put chocolate in your pocket. It'll just melt. That gooey meltiness, along with the color is just... And in case you're wondering why I would be putting chocolate in my pocket, it would obviously be so I could eat it at school, and I'm no barbarian. I follow the rules of being a kid. Remember to eat my candy before my food. And another thing. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs, and I have three dogs, so if I were to accidentally leave my chocolate on the counter, they might eat it! What? Have I ever tried it, you ask? Well... No. I have not. I have not, and I will not, ever try chocolate. Not even if you paid me five bucks to do it. Or ten. Okay, well, maybe fifteen. Okay, I'll eat this chocolate bar for twenty bucks. Give me that. That... was the greatest thing ever! Give me more.