The BIGGEST Mistakes Newlyweds Make in the First Year

So when you are newly married, you get a lot of advice from people in your life. You know, like never go to bed angry or communication's key. So I don't have any cliche advice to give you, but I do have a handful of mistakes that I wish I could warn every engaged or newlywed couple about. Now first, make sure to subscribe, share this episode with a friend that maybe is a newlywed. So I've come up with five major categories that I made a mistake in, or I see very common mistakes in. And so we're gonna talk about that. And surprisingly, only one is specifically financial. So make sure to stay tuned and let me know in the comments all of your thoughts. All right, so first category is relational. And there can be a mistake assuming that the current challenges in your marriage are permanent. And when you combine your life with someone, yes, challenges are going to come up. And I feel like you need to remember that you have time to work through them. I mean, every obstacle will feel different, right? There's some that are way more difficult than others, but just know that both parties are coming to the table saying we wanna continue to grow and to learn and create a better marriage. Everything is overcomable, right? I mean, it is so true. The marriage you have today is going to look different than the marriage you have in five, 10, 15 years. And thank God for that, let's be honest. Esther Perel says that most people will be married two to three times in their lifetime. And if you're lucky, they're with the same person. And I love that picture because you're going to grow and change, so remember that. Now, number two, financial category. There's a huge mistake of not combining finances. This is my number one thing that I see with couples, and it's a huge mistake. Now, if there is an issue in your marriage, okay, and I'm talking big things like addiction or secrets are being withheld or affairs or like something is happening that you need to protect yourself, then absolutely. But other than that, you guys, combining your finances when you get married to say, yes, we are one as a team, does so much, not just for your money, but for the way you're approaching this relationship with this other person. And so combining your finances, do it. Now, if you need a tool to help you work together to stay on track, especially when it comes to your budget, make sure to check out EveryDollar, it's amazing. But budgeting together, putting your money together, putting your life together is gonna create a level of unity unlike anything else. Number three is the category of identity. So a big mistake that people make, and I did this to a degree for sure, is believing that your spouse somehow is going to complete you. Thank you, Tom Cruise and Jerry Maguire. Always like, you complete me. Listen, your spouse is not the missing piece to your insecurities. They are human, just like you. But somehow, sometimes we go into marriage with like this romantic idea that like, oh my gosh, my life is incomplete. And I'm gonna be completely, and this person is going to be the puzzle piece that makes my life complete. But can I tell you, if you are a healthy, whole person, and you work on yourself, and your spouse does the same, and then you guys come together, your marriage is going to be so much more blissful. I'm telling you, it is gonna be so much healthier. It's not that all issues go away, it's not. But leaning on your spouse so much to fix something inside of you, it's a recipe for disaster. Now, this kind of relates to the next item on my list. But first, I have to tell you about another mistake that can add stress to someone's life. And that is not protecting your personal info from online scammers. And that is why I love and use Delete.me. So they go in and remove your personal data from the internet, because if you don't, it's basically like a billboard of your name, your address, your email, even your kids' names are out there. And then sketchy data broker websites collect that data, sell your data to other companies, they make money off of it, and then you are at risk for scams and fraud. But listen, Delete.me goes in and removes your data, which is incredible and protects you from so much. Winston and I use Delete.me, and it saves us so much time and so much worry. So you guys, your family safety and financial security are way too important to leave exposed. So sign up for Delete.me and take control. Go to joindelete.me.com slash Rachel for 20% off, bringing your monthly cost to under $9 a month. So click the link in the description. All right, the fourth bucket is spiritual. And I would say it is a mistake not living for something that is bigger than yourself. And that's gonna look different for a lot of people, but man, when you have something that is bigger than you in life, it changes a level of humility and outlook. And when your values align on that spiritually, it is one of the most beautiful things that can be created within a marriage, because stuff is gonna happen, right? Like there are gonna be bumps in the road. The honeymoon stage of love doesn't last forever. Like there's gonna be points of sacrifice and selflessness and choosing to work on your marriage as it goes down the line. And if you're not fighting for something bigger or believing that there's something else out there that can be of assistance and help heal you in those situations, then you're missing out on a lot. And so there is a beautiful part of the spiritual life that I would tell you to engage in. And for me, it is Jesus. It is a level of knowing like, man, there is something there that is not all about me, but something in someone that came in redeemed. And like that gives you a bigger outlook on life. So if you don't have a level of spirituality in your life, be curious about it, go explore. Number five is communication. Now you can't have a marriage video without communication, but for real, understanding about communication, I think one of the biggest things that I learned is learning how to communicate your needs, your wants, your desires. And this can be everything from like holiday expectations about like, you know, what you're doing for holiday plans to household responsibilities, you know, to those chores, to raising kids, to sex, like all these areas of life, all these areas of marriage, talk about them, things that you're feeling or thinking, like saying things out loud and having a conversation, not just expecting your spouse to know what you're wanting, what you're desiring, what you're fearing. I mean, all the things it needs to be said out loud. And what can happen with that is when you do communicate your needs and your wants, it can be very vulnerable because you open up, you know, what you're wanting and you could be rejected in that. So there is that risk out there, but that is like the part of communication that's beautiful that like you get in there together and you guys figure it out and you talk about it, but withholding information of what you're wanting in life or in a situation from your spouse doesn't do anyone any favors. Now, one huge part of marriage that we didn't even touch on is comparison and contentment. So make sure to check out my episode on the real reason everyone seems wealthier than you coming up next. So you can click there, or if you're listening on podcast, click the link below. All right, you guys, remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.