HOW YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME THAT GIRL / THAT WOMAN IN 2025 ! self concept & glowing up internally

Hello you guys and welcome to another episode of A Better You. I am your host, Fernanda Ramirez, and I am so excited for today's episode because we are going to be talking about how to become that girl. I have talked about becoming that girl in my habits and like the things that I do to feel like my best self many times, but I wanted to kind of make a new version of this in the current state that I'm feeling because I really do feel like I'm entering a new chapter, a new season. Spring is definitely my favorite season of all times and so like I feel like I'm in a very transitional period and not even transitional, more like a blossoming period honestly. I really do feel like I am opening my petals like a nice little flower. So I'm excited to dive into this video and talk about what's been working for me recently, what I have been doing, and I actually have my journal with me which is my favorite when I film episodes with my journal in front of me because these episodes feel a lot more soulful. They feel very in tune with what I'm actually feeling and in my journal a few days ago I created three different pages and it's actually because I wanted to make a YouTube series on this. I wanted to do like a three part how to become that girl, that woman video series and I still am going to do that so I'm going to show you guys what I'm actually doing, but since I have so many notes on it I thought I would talk my way through it in like a podcast episode so you guys can hear me talk about it and what I'm going to do and then when you see it on YouTube it's going to be like the actual me doing it if that makes sense. Before I talk about everything that we're talking about, let me give you guys a little bit of an update on my life and then we shall get right into it. I feel like I haven't given you guys an update on my life in a while. The past few episodes I think I just kind of dived deep into what the topic of the episode was so let me tell you guys, I've been doing phenomenal. I've been doing great. Honestly, I can't even complain. I've been so happy these days, genuinely. I, and this is just like a little side note reflection, but I have been so happy since like January. I've just been having really good days, really good months. I feel like I've been filling up my days so intentionally and I've been living with so much more alignment and in fact, I'll tell you some quotes that have been really speaking to me recently. I put them in my journal and the first one is, living fully isn't about adding more, it's about aligning more. Less noise, more meaning, less proving, more being. And if I could use a quote to describe how I've been feeling recently, that would be it. I feel like the past few months, I have been living a lot more in real life and I've been filling up my days with more intentional hobbies, just intentionality in general. And I feel like it has made me feel so much more connected to myself, to the people around me. I feel like it has made my roots grow thicker, which is good and bad in some ways because I feel like in the past I've been wanting to just travel and leave and explore and get out of my comfort zone. And while that is great for growth, it also sometimes felt like, what am I running away from? So to have the time to plant my roots and just kind of enjoy where I am, be where I am, enjoy my surroundings, enjoy my connections here, I feel like I've really let them grow and blossom. And I feel like one of the biggest indicators for a happy life is deep connections. And so that is definitely how I'm feeling right now. Like all these deep connections are really fueling me and I really just do feel more aligned. And I feel like it shows. I feel like there has been times in the past where I create content and I'm living for the content that I'm creating rather than living my life and documenting that. And I feel like that is a big distinction that I'm trying to really like hone in on these days and I guess just live my life, feel good, and then create out of a space of aliveness and create out of a space of joy and not feel like any of my content is just being scraps thrown together. So with all that being said, I've been having joyous days. Yesterday I had a birthday celebration for one of my friends and we had a little patio gazebo night with a bunch of different people, you know, drinking, talking, eating good food, and it's starting to feel like those warmer nights and I just could not be more grateful for that feeling. I cannot wait until we have like cabin trips, summer trips, a lot of my friends are finishing school so it really does feel like summer is beginning. I have been focusing on wearing a lot more clothes that I feel really confident in and like feminine and fun and pretty. Patio season is upon us, I've been having a lot of delicious food, trying new restaurants. I just went to Din Tai Fung, they just came to Canada, it's a Taiwanese restaurant that was divine. I went to the Reflections rooftop, I've been going on a lot of walks, I just got new nails today, I'm prepping for Hawaii, I leave tomorrow. I'm just honestly in a really great place and I say that all to just say I'm grateful, I'm thankful, I feel good, and I hope you guys are doing well as well. If you are having a great time these days, I'm so happy for you. I hope that you continue on that good vibe and that happy vibe and if your days haven't been that good these days, just trust that we're entering a new season. It is okay to feel your feelings when you're not feeling the best. A few days ago actually, like a week ago, I had kind of a down couple of days and though it took me a few days to get back to homeostasis and to get back on track, it only took a few days and then I was feeling great again. And during those days where I wasn't feeling the best, I let myself feel, I let myself journal, I let myself do my favorite things, I let myself slow down, and honestly honoring your feelings and honoring however you feel will make you get out of that state faster rather than trying to suppress it because eventually you'll explode and that's not what we want. We want to just ride the wave, feel the feelings, and honor it for what it is. So anyways, I've yapped enough but hopefully you got something out of that and let's talk about what we are doing to become that girl, that woman. Honestly, sometimes I'm confused whether I should say that girl or that woman because I feel like the algorithm picks up that girl better but like I'm not even trying to be a girl no more, you know what I mean? We're trying to be a woman and I say that because I feel like there's always a trend on TikTok where people are saying like girlhood, girlhood, girlhood and it's so romanticized to stay young but I feel like that doesn't give womanhood its praise and platform it deserves, you know what I mean? I think becoming a woman as we know, I feel like I've been talking about this for so long is something very sacred. I think that's a very sacred thing. So honestly, I don't even want to say girl, I want to say woman but again, like I said because of the algorithm, I'm like I don't know which one goes better but just know we're becoming that woman now. At least if you're my age, if you're older than me, if you're younger than me, hopefully you're looking forward to becoming a woman, you know. It's just the vibe I'm on these days but anyways, becoming that woman. Okay, before we get into all the external fun things, the body things, the beauty things, we have to work with our inner selves because that's what makes a dream woman. That's what makes you feel good, that's what makes you move through the world with power and with peace. I truly do believe that it is an ongoing journey to becoming the best version of yourself. Of course, we know that there's not one ultimate version you're going to become. The whole evolution, the whole process is special in its own way but if you are ready to do a little bit of a life rebrand, I always like starting with a journal and writing everything down and one of the first things I like to do before starting to think about expanding is working with what we've got in the current moment. So sitting with myself right now, doing a little bit of a scan, doing a little bit of a mental health check-in and being like, how do I feel in the current moment? What is working for me? What isn't working for me? What do I like about myself? What do I not like about myself? Who is making me feel good? Who isn't making me feel good? What are the qualities that I'm trying to embody? Is there any bad habits that I need to cut out? What are the habits that are working for me? Is there anything that I am doing that is not serving my highest self? And also, are there things that I'm doing that bring me joy every time? Those are the questions we want to know to do a little bit of a self-audit. You can even make it fun self-audit and be like, what's my favorite song right now? What's my favorite food right now? What's my favorite movie right now, etc. Just writing down your current stats, the beginning of a journal, you know. I'm personally not in therapy so I can't really speak on it but I know a lot of my friends are in therapy and they absolutely love it and I feel like that's a good place to also confront your current state and just kind of talking through any past things because I feel like it's hard to move forward if you haven't worked on the shadow self. So be so for real with yourself. Be straight up. Be honest. You don't have to show anyone. You don't have to tell anyone but give yourself a good mirror and really check in with yourself. If you need to cut people out, do that. If you need to stop consuming certain content, do that. If you need to change your habits, do that. Set a system in place to kind of figure out what is not working for you and what is. Now, usually after I've done this and I've figured out all the bad stuff that I'm not really vibing with, then I start to think, who do I want to be? When doing this, I like to find inspiration from Pinterest, from Instagram, from YouTube, from TikTok. I like to think to myself, who do I want to be like? And I want to say, I feel like there are people who I really like their energy, the way they move, the way they think, the way they articulate themselves, the way they speak, the way they embody certain qualities and traits. I just really like them. And then there's people who I really like their drive and I like the accomplishments that they've achieved and I like their external shell almost, how they manage, how they do their job, whatever it is. Finding icons that kind of represent all those different aspects of yourself and different versions of yourself. If you have different sides to yourself, maybe you've got a musical side, you've got an intellectual side, you've got a creative side, you've got a business side. Finding icons for all of those things. So you have inspiration and kind of like mentors to look up to. I feel like that always helps me. And to give you some a little bit of inspo for what mine are. I feel like I've talked about her so many times, but Hitomi Mochizuki, I love her soul. Honestly, I feel like she is somebody that I really look up to and somebody whose qualities I really admire and just like the way she moves through life. I feel like I really, I really value not only in just the way she is. I also do really admire her creativity and the way that she creates content. Tam Corr, I was on her podcast in September. I really value her work ethic as well. I feel like she is the ultimate boss babe. And, you know, she knows what she wants and she goes after and gets it. The Wizard Liz, I really admire her. I feel like she's very confident. Her boundaries are strong. She's got her feminine energy in check. She's just, she's just got it. I also really like Claudia Salewski. I haven't seen her recently, but I remember she was somebody who I really just admired her lifestyle. So those are some examples of people who I like. I'm sure there's, there's so many more, of course, but from the top of my head, I really like those. One thing that I wanted to do in my journal was after I'd pick out all these icons is asking myself, what do I have in common with them? What traits do I like about them? What about their life do I like? And so I can start really picking apart traits and qualities and features out of all of these people. So I can really get clear on what it is that I truly want and why I align with these people. I like making little notes on how they live, the type of lifestyle they have, how they act, what values they have, what motivates them, what type of self-talk they have, how their sense of self is, et cetera. Just kind of really dismantling each of these people and being like, what do I really like here? Okay, you guys, we have now come to the sponsored portion of today's video and it is Revolve. So thank you Revolve for sponsoring this episode. 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They also never have deals, so honestly, this is something that you guys need to get on and it's something that I will definitely be using as well. That's revolve.com slash better to shop my top picks and get 15% off your first order with the code better. Offer ends April 6th, so you cannot miss out. That's revolve.com slash better for 15% off with code better. Make sure you don't miss out. Once I figure out what I don't like, that was like step one, and what I need to change, what I like about myself, all that kind of stuff. And then step two, finding the mentor, finding who you like, finding the inspiration. Step three, reprogramming your mind and actually integrating it. I'll read you a list of things that I had written down for what I meant by this. I had set systems in place to make this happen. So like if there's habits that you want to start integrating, how can you make it easier for yourself? Two, sign up for things. You know, if you want to start some courses, you want to start some hobbies, actually enrolling yourself in so you can't back out of it and they're locked and loaded in your schedule so you actually have to show up for them. Create a vision board so you can look at it and then you can have a visual representation of the direction that you want to head into. Four, clean my space so I can move through my days without friction. If you have the means to, you can buy new clothes even to kind of give yourself a little bit of a refresh feeling or identify with the type of lifestyle or the type of vibe you're trying to embody. So maybe if you're trying to enter your CEO era, getting a little power suit. If you're trying to enter your divine feminine era, getting some more dresses. Maybe if you want to start tennis, getting a little tennis outfit. Whatever it is, I truly do believe that the way that you look on the outside influences the way that you act and carry yourself. So I do think that being intentional with how you dress and how you present yourself is a great tactic for moving towards that direction. I also like to start reading books on the type of person I want to become or the qualities I want to have or just anything to do with what your inspiration was. Recently I've been reading The Alchemist and I think I'm only like 30 pages in so I really can't speak on it, but to be an alchemist is to create something out of nothing. And I think that book is about finding your purpose and listening to your inner guides. Honestly, I haven't read it so I don't know, but I know that it's super popular so I'm excited to keep reading that. I've told you guys so many times, but I was reading The Art of Loving, which I feel like for me was because I wanted to embody love more. I also was reading actually this book called like Inner Goddess or something. I don't know, I had it on my Instagram, but that was for like feminine energy. And so yeah, even reading a book like Atomic Habits, I always like to read that when I'm trying to kind of lock in on my discipline. You can also create new friends and hopefully with your friends talk about your goals and talking about things that you guys want to do together, not just superficial things. So you guys can kind of all motivate each other and, you know, make your conversations more purposeful. Not that that needs to be the goal whenever you're interacting with your friends because obviously keeping it light and fun is also important, but I do think that having people that inspire you that are close to you is like the biggest influence that you can have. Truly, I do think that the people that you surround yourself with influence how you move through the world. So if they are people that support your goals and actually inspire you and you actually want to be like them, it is going to make transforming into that girl or that woman so much of an easier process. You can also educate yourself more, read more articles, maybe it's sub stack articles, maybe you can do a little Google search, some research, take some notes. I actually love doing that. I feel like I retain the information a lot faster. There's also so many online courses like Skillshare or any of those, I think there's like master classes that you can take just to kind of further learn about whatever it is that you're interested in. Maybe it's taking summer school, maybe it's taking courses, you guys know. Another thing you can do if you're trying to become this ideal woman is decentering men. I feel like we have to make a whole episode on this, but truly it's really hard to focus on yourself and work on your own goals and and just kind of lock into yourself and the woman that you want to become when you are constantly seeking validation or seeking fleeting connections or placing your energy outwardly when you aren't fully content with who you are internally. And so I do feel like distracting yourself with boys might deter you from becoming that girl or that woman. Not always, not always. But I do think that if too much energy is going in that direction, it can definitely take you off the path that you want to be on. So decentering the male gaze can be really helpful for your own personal path. You can also practice affirmations and recite the ones that really feel aligned to you. And the last two that I had here were to go outside more and just kind of live in the real world and live through embodiment. You can read about all the qualities you want and you can research on all the things you want to become and you can watch all the videos on these people. But truly, I do feel like the quickest way you actually learn is through experience. And so going out into the world and acting like that person you want to be is the quickest way that you can learn and actually start to integrate these qualities into yourself. And the last thing that I had on here is to ask for help. And so if there is something that you are struggling day to day, even if it's just emotionally, this is your reminder to not be afraid to ask for help, whether it is your family or your friends, or if you go to therapy, honestly, even chat GPT, I don't know if I should be giving that advice. But like if you if you need the help, don't feel like you are alone or lost. Definitely seek support, seek help. Having all of these things in place, I definitely feel will help you get to where you want to be. Or at least these are the things that I do when I want to kind of lock in and focus on who I want to become. The last section I had here in the becoming was meeting yourself in the now. So like I said in the quote before, in order to feel more aligned with your life, you don't necessarily need to add more noise or to add more chaos. You just need to align yourself more. And so I feel like look at the things that you are currently doing day to day and see if they truly align with what you actually like. And if they don't cut them out and if you find that there are some things that you want to add, make sure you add those in just ultimately aligning with what feels the most truthful to you in the current moment. I feel like if there is something that you're doing that you really liked six months ago and you're not really vibing with it now, you don't need to cling to it. You can just try something new. No hard feelings to it, but just you might be evolving or you might be changing your likes and your interests and that is totally okay. I wrote down in my journal to list out the hobbies that I currently really like and the ones that I want to do for the next month to be more present in them. Pick up some new books that match the season that I'm currently in. Maybe consuming more art, film, music, everything that aligns with your current self. Adding more self love and self compassion practices. Romanticizing your days. And of course, giving yourself self worth pep talks. I honestly feel like when you are able to give yourself that love from within, you do not need to search it from outside of yourself. You do not need to seek it or chase it or search for it. You will be happy within and that is the most important because then you will start attracting whatever it is you want, opportunities, everything will be coming to you. You will be magnetic. So those are a lot of the things that I like to do in my inner world to really make that switch internally and be like, girl, it's time. Now we are going to move on and we are going to talk about body health and habits. I hope that you guys remember you can always pause the episode and write things down, write notes, you can journal in between. I just really want to give you guys a lot of valuable content and sometimes that means I need to talk faster. So hopefully it's not bothering you but if you're liking this episode up to this point, this is a quick reminder that if you're not subscribed, make sure you do so. Give this episode a five star rating and leave a little comment because I love you guys and I love interacting with you. Moving on, we are talking about diet. Now I'm not a big dieter. I'm not a calorie counter. I'm not really that strict but what I do like to do is listen to my body and what feels good and what doesn't feel good because what you put into your body truly will reflect on the outside and I can totally tell like if I eat a bag of chips, your girl is going to be waking up with acne the next morning and does that feel good? Not quite and so there's no need to shame the part of ourselves that wants to eat the bag of chips but if you want to feel your best, you got to take note of your body. You got to be attuned to yourself and be like what is working and what isn't. For example, I remember when I was younger, my stomach used to hurt so bad all the time. After I ate all the time, I'm like why does my stomach always hurt? When I finally started logging in my phone app, we started to notice there was a pattern. It would be like me eating hella gluten and so much dairy and then my stomach would hurt and then being shocked that the next day when I did the same thing, my stomach would hurt again and so sometimes if your stomach is hurting or you're having intolerances or you're having any signs of not functioning the way you want to function like for example acne or eczema or stomach aches and bloating, whatever, I think it's a great idea to create a list in your notes about the things that aren't feeling the best for you and also if you are feeling great, maybe writing down what it is that made you feel full, energetic and healthy. So when I talk about my own personal diet and I guess kind of lifestyle when it comes to eating, this is what works for me and what doesn't work for me might work for you. So there's really no formula I can give you guys other than really looking within and figuring out what it is that works for you. For me, I try my best to avoid heavy gluten, a lot of sodium, a lot of sugar, excessive alcohol doesn't make me feel good, excessive processed food doesn't make me feel good, eating a lot of junk food and like fast food does not make me feel good, fried food, the list goes on. I feel really great when I eat protein, vegetables, rice, I like eating rye bread, sourdough bread, too much cream and like dairy does not make me feel great but I love having yogurt, it's also a great source of protein, has good probiotics in it. I also recently started adding probiotics and fermented foods into my diet and that has been great. I love the way I feel when I eat fruit and when I drink a lot of water and when I make green juices. I have been drinking a lot of energy drinks and a lot of coffee these days and I know that that's really not great for me and it leaves you dehydrated so that's a habit that I definitely should probably work out of but something like that is how I'm telling you guys like noticing how my body reacts to these things is how you can create the perfect diet formula for yourself. Anyways, those are just some things that I personally do. I also love taking deep bloat pills every once in a while if I'm feeling any sort of discomfort, apple cider vinegar gummies, vitamin gummies. I love drinking tea, specifically spearmint tea or green tea and yeah, that's basically what my diet is kind of looking like and what I'm going into before my trips and heading into spring and summer. I really want to be the fittest I can be this year and so following those guidelines is definitely what makes me feel like that. I also love drinking bloom or electrolytes, I feel like it makes your water taste a lot better and they've got a lot of benefits in them as well as taking like protein powders and collagen powders and smoothies. As for actually working out and body, as I said, I've been really locked into my health and fitness the past couple of weeks and months honestly and I feel like it's been showing. I've been getting so many DMs recently asking, how do you stay so snatched? What are you doing to stay toned? Guys, yoga. Yoga. I used to say this all the time but back in the day when I lived at home, when I was like the fittest I'd ever been, it was because I was doing yoga consistently for months and ever since Valentine's Day, I've been doing yoga and rolling around on my mat and when I tell you I have never felt better, I'm so for real. It's like I've been practicing yoga probably consistently for five years but I haven't been this locked in since probably 2020 and every time I get into a locked in phase of yoga, I question why I ever fell off because it truly makes me feel like nothing else. It is so great for your lymphatic drainage. I feel so snatched all the time. Your body is constantly flowing. It is stretching. I feel like it's a great practice for like feminine energy if you're into that. Maintaining flexibility is also something that is really important to me and makes me feel really good in my own skin. I know that for me, mobility is something that I really care about and something that I want to be able to maintain as I grow older so yoga and stretching is really important for me for that. It's also just satisfying to be able to flow through the poses with more ease and to be able to do things you once couldn't. For example, I've been working on my scorpion, it's so random but I haven't done that since I was like 17 and tell me why I am better now than when I was in gymnastics. That just shows consistency and intention will get you there farther than just having like I don't know, I feel like when I was in gymnastics, it was like an expectation for me to have and I didn't care to actually develop the skill and now that I'm doing it for fun, I suddenly care more. I personally practice like vinyasa but I feel like once you do it enough, you kind of learn the flow so sometimes I don't even watch a video, I just do the stretches like every morning and every night and honestly, leaving the yoga mat out makes it so much easier for you to just hop on whenever because it's already there. I actually made a yoga flexibility playlist on Spotify so if you want to listen to that, definitely head on over there, it's just Fernanda Ramirez. It's usually linked in my bio but yeah, I always add new playlists and that is one that I feel very like in flow with. I've also been walking so much and as you guys know, walking is so great for you. I feel like it is one of those workouts that's super sustainable yet so effective and I feel like it's also been helping with my lymphatic drainage and just adding a little bit of cardio here and there because movement is what we want at the end of the day and doing the walking and the yoga together, it's like the ultimate combo and then you add in a little bit of weightlifting in there, guys, you're set, I'm telling you. So those are all the workouts that I've been doing that have been making me feel really good in my skin and I also wanted to talk about some habits that I've been doing in relation to my body that have been making me feel really good. The first one is lymphatic drainage tools. So there are these wooden tools that are basically like a gua sha for your body. I bought these on Amazon and I also bought an oil that it says it's like to reduce cellulite but honestly I just needed a body oil but doing that together has been making me feel so much more snatched and less puffy and it's so detoxifying for your body and just so great for you. So that is something I've been loving. Along with that, you can also do dry brushing which helps your skin look more radiant and exfoliated and the skin is the largest organ on your body so honestly taking extra care of it definitely makes a difference especially adding like lotions and oils. I also like using an Oura ring and an Apple watch which honestly none of them are charged right now but those really help for staying on track with your habits and your goals. I love going to the sauna to get a good sweat out, even just doing cardio, a little bit of a sprint moment or walking an incline, it makes me sweat a lot which is great. I also love using a gua sha on my face and ice rolling to help de-puff and again do the lymphatic drainage. Also getting into a good sleep schedule. I lastly wanted to say some other tips in regards to body and like healthy habits and all that is figuring out your why for why you want to achieve certain goals. I honestly feel like that helps me so much in following through with the habits that I create. For example, the why may being the way that I feel or when I have certain trips coming up or certain seasons or like certain milestones that I want to feel in check for. I also love taking progress pictures, I feel like that really helps me and helps me have a clear image of how I'm progressing and I feel like it kind of inspires me to keep it up and I also love following accounts that focus on healthy living and healthy lifestyles, holistic healing, holistic living and overall just like fitness accounts. I feel like they really motivate me to want to get my dream body and just feel the best I can in my own skin. Now that we have covered part one and two, I'm actually going to end this episode here and leave part three and potentially a part four for the next episode where we talk about glowing up externally and all the things you can do such as hair, face, outfits, style, hygiene, beauty tips, treatments, all of those things. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode and got something useful out of it and got some inspiration and some motivation and yeah, I guess this is your final reminder that you are in control of your life and you can tap into that ideal version of yourself whenever you do not need to wait for an ideal time far into the distance. You can start acting like the person that you want to become today, but it is a conscious decision that you have to start acting like that person and the sooner that you have a very clear image of who that is, the sooner you can start acting like that, whether it is subconsciously or consciously. I'm going to leave it off there. I love you guys and I will see you soon.