Painting MYSELF Using JELLY GOUACHE!

Some of the greatest artists in history are well known for their amazing self-portrait. So today, I want to try that too. But please, I'm not comparing myself to those masters. I'm just trying to challenge myself by using a medium I have never tried for a self-portrait. I made this one three years ago using colouring pencils, one of my favourite mediums. And I've done one using oils. And I'm about to attempt it using gouache. Gouache is such a funny and temperamental medium. It's kind of halfway between watercolour and acrylics, where you can really water it down to get some transparency. And you can also layer it and work lighter colours over darker colours. I would still consider myself a beginner at gouache. Although, technically, I've painted 29 little paintings. And today, it's day 30 of me learning to use gouache by painting for 30 days. We have come to the end of the series. Some may say, finally. But I never said the series was going to be consecutive 30 days. So, beats me. Hey people, it's Terry if you're new here. I'm so excited to be back. I want to say this is the longest break I've taken. And honestly, I have missed it so much. I've missed you guys so much. I'm going to do a self-portrait today as highly requested. I'm finishing up with the Pantone cards today. This particular one has caused me so much anxiety. Because gouache painting in general is something I'm still new to it. Naturally, it's nerve-wracking. But it's even more nerve-wracking because portraits are so difficult. Portraits in a medium you're not used to, it's just ridiculously difficult. Guys, I don't know if I'm overthinking this. I've done these two sketches. I did this one first. And then I thought, would this be too small on the surface? It's going to be such a small painting. Like, look at those tiny eyes. So, I did this one that's a bit bigger. But I'm not loving this. I feel like none of these look like me. So, we're going back to the sketching board. Okay, here is what I've come up with this time. I feel like this is a bit more accurate maybe. And then a big part of this series that I've been doing is picking what colour card to use. It might seem trivial, but I feel like it makes all the difference. So, I asked on my Instagram story what colour I should paint on. Between yellows, oranges, reds, pinks, and purple, blues. It's very similar. So, I know reds, pinks won. But I don't know that I wanted to win. So, I don't know. I don't know. I'm still stuck. I feel like that's not a decision. That's giving me a three-way tie. So, let's pick what card to paint on first. I'm thinking maybe I'll go yellows to oranges. Because I can imagine the warmth of my skin tone. But then would it be too samey? I don't know. Purples and pinks. I'm really not feeling it. I'm going to be so real. Definitely not blues, greens. Sorry. I don't know why this decision paralysed me so much. I don't know if it was a case of anxiety and analysis paralysis with procrastination. So that I just wouldn't start. Or if it was actually a logical decision of if I paint myself on a green surface, am I going to be looking hulkish? I don't know. But shout out to my Instagram followers. I went for this pinky, corally, baby pink, peony colour. Which I actually love. Now that I've done my sketch, it's time to get on with the painting. Looking at this blank surface, it's hard to think and imagine a beautiful painting materialising from this. And the first few strokes are always the most nerve-wracking. But I like to go in straight with the darkest values. Just to help with contrast. Just to make sure that I'm going deep enough with the skin. And honestly, I don't really have a strategy for this piece. The more I look at the sketch, the more I think this does not look like me. So it's always interesting trying to bring something out of nothing. And trying to mix the different colours I want with the skin tones. I love adding purples and blues for the shadows. That's something that if you're familiar with my channel, this will not be news to you. So although everything is looking brown, brown, brown. Actually, I'm trying to inject some of the undertones I can see. Even with some greens and some of the other shadows. But gouache is notorious for drying differently to what you initially apply. So you can put a colour down thinking, fantastic match. And then it dries darker. And some other colours dry lighter. So it's really such a headache trying to balance what you initially see to almost what it oxidises as. And now we are very much at the ugly phase. It's looking to me like patches of colour that don't quite match. We've got the harsh line between the lightest bits and the darker bits. It's just not very nice. But the more detail I go in with a smaller brush, the more I'm starting to see my likeness materialise. And honestly, doing a self-portrait is such a humbling experience. This is the one time that you get to inspect every single aspect of your face. Frida Kahlo once said, I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best. And what a deep, insightful comment. And as an introverted extrovert, I can relate. That is so deep and insightful. Although it begs the question, is the way you see yourself truly the way you actually are? Is it the way? Does it actually match how other people see you? Because realistically, no two people can see you the exact same. And I don't just mean outwardly, outward, outwardly. And I don't just mean physically. Someone's essence, someone's soul, someone's personality really feeds into how you see them. So it's really interesting. Can I actually capture this the way my friends see me, the way my family sees me? I don't know. I'm probably about halfway through, maybe a bit more. The face is mostly done. I'm really loving the colours and how it's all blended together. I think this is gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous work. So now I just want to focus on getting some details in the hair, doing something for the top and then maybe something for the background. I guess we'll see. Some of the most famous artists painted themselves tens or hundreds of times. Did you know Van Gogh painted himself upwards of 30 portraits within the span of three years? Imagine doing 10 self-portraits a year. That sounds insane. Picasso also painted himself 30 times, but he did it over the decades. So you can really see how his art style evolved over the course of the self-portraits he did. And Frida Kahlo completed 143 paintings in total and 55 of them were self-portraits. Lastly, Rembrandt did 100 self-portraits, which sounds incomprehensible to me, honestly. And here I am doing a self-portrait. This is my fourth one, I think. And I'm mainly doing it because it was highly requested. It almost feels like the final boss of painting and such a perfect way to round up the series for me. Because from the start and me not knowing anything about gouache to get into where I am now, it really is a visual diary of my journey. Myself intimately interpreted by myself. And I'm attempting to capture light, shadow, texture, likeness. But it really is a glimpse into my inner world, a window into my mind, my struggles and triumphs throughout this series. And I really love how it's coming together. I've decided to add these peonies in the background as an ode to one of my favourite flowers, peonies, which is also the card I picked. Now that the series has come to an end, I'm planning on relaunching my prints of every single painting in the series. So if you want to grab one, this is the perfect chance to do so. They'll be available for a limited time and once they're gone, they are gone. I'll leave a link to the waitlist at the top of the description box so that you know as soon as they are out. This has been a lovely two year journey, but I'm just ready to close this chapter. Say goodbye to gouache for now. And let me know, I was thinking of doing a poster size print with all 30 of them. So leave a comment if you'd be interested in that. But now we are done with day 30. Here is how it turned out. Since you liked this video, you're going to love this one where I speak about all of the things I've learned throughout this gouache series.