Speak With Me: English Speaking Practice

Oh, that must've been hard. Do you want to talk about it? If I said this to you, would you go, uh, yes, maybe? I don't know. Well, don't worry. Today I'm going to help you talk about your feelings in English. This is not the easiest thing to do in your native language either, but I want to help you level up your English speaking skills and not just talk about the same basic boring Hi, I'm Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com, and like always, I have created a free PDF worksheet where you can learn all of today's important vocabulary, questions, definitions, sample sentences, and you can see the sample conversation so that you can practice using what you've learned today. You can click on the link in the description to download this free PDF worksheet today. All right, before we get started, I have to say something. If you want to get closer with your friends and family, you need to be vulnerable with them. This is something that I struggle with, so this lesson is for me and it's for you. This means that you need to talk about difficult things, about your feelings, try to get deeper in your relationship with them. In today's lesson, we're going to start by talking about how you can express your feelings, especially negative feelings, because I feel like in some cultures, we often try to glaze over difficult feelings. Maybe you had a really hard time and you say, well, but I'm doing better now. Well, sometimes it's important to talk about those difficult feelings. I want to give you the words to say that in English, and then in the second part of this vocabulary lesson, you are going to learn how to respond when one of your friends or family members talks about their feelings, because the reciprocal part is that you need to be able to be open to hearing when your friends and family are vulnerable with you. What should you say to them? How can you encourage them to continue sharing their feelings with you and you can seem empathetic and kind? Well, in this lesson, I will also help give you the words so that you can respond kindly to your friends and family. And finally, at the end of this lesson, you're going to have a chance to practice speaking with me about your feelings, so pay attention. It's going to be your turn soon. Let's get started by talking about some important vocabulary where you're going to talk about your feelings. Let's imagine that you've been going through a hard time. You've been working really hard at your job, and you thought that you would get the promotion that you really wanted, and then it turns out someone else got the promotion. This is really disappointing, and you feel like it's not a good idea to keep it inside. You want to talk to someone about it, so you call your best friend and you say this, Hey, can we talk? Hey, can we talk about something? This is a good way to introduce talking about a difficult feeling that you have, especially if you don't really feel comfortable talking about difficult feelings, you're kind of getting their permission. Is this something that's okay to ask you about? Hey, can we talk about something? And if they're a good friend, of course they'll say, yeah, what's going on? So let me give you some next expressions you can say. You might say, I just need to vent. Do you know what a vent is? This is a vent in your car. That's where all the air comes out and it blows out without much filter or blockages. So when you need to vent, that means that you are just going to share everything that comes out. I just need to tell you all the difficult things that have been happening at work, and you vent to them. I often say to my friends after I vent, Hey, thanks for letting me vent. It feels good sometimes. If you didn't get the promotion that you thought you were going to get, you might say something like this, I'm feeling really frustrated. Or I'm feeling a bit down lately. Down means sad. Or I've been feeling a bit lost. Usually we use this term lost to describe a career goal that you thought you had, and it's not exactly what you thought it would be. You thought you could work hard, maybe get the attention of your manager and boss and get a promotion. But when it didn't line up like that, you might feel a bit lost. What do I do now? I thought if I worked hard, I would get the promotion and now I'm lost. I don't know what to do. When you're having a hard time, the next expression is a good one. I'm in a funk. Or I'm in a rut. A rut is like a little dip in the road. It's not a great place. If you are in a funk or in a rut, it means you're having a hard time progressing and moving past the difficult time that you're in. So when you tell your friend this, I've really just been in a rut lately and I don't know how to get out of it, your friend might give you some suggestions like, hey, why don't we just go for a hike and get out in nature and you can vent? And maybe you'll have some clarity after that. That would be what a good friend would do. Or you might say, I feel really frustrated when I work hard and I don't get the promotion that I thought I would. Or you could use this in a positive way and tell your friend, I feel relieved when I can talk to you about difficult things. I feel happy. I feel relieved. I feel frustrated when I don't get the promotion. I feel relieved when I can talk to you. This is a great way to express your feelings. Or you might say, it's hard when other people get a promotion and I don't. It's hard when I thought I was going to get the visa to go to the US and I just got denied. What am I supposed to do now? I feel so lost. Or you could say, it's like I do all the work and other people get promoted. Or I just feel like I do all the work and other people get promoted. This is a great phrase to use when you're venting. When you're going through a hard time and you just need to get it all out. I just feel like I do all the work and no one else is doing stuff and I don't get the promotion. Oh, I'm so frustrated. After you have shared everything, after you have vented, you might say, oh, thank you. I feel like I can be myself when I'm with you. This is a beautiful compliment. If someone says this to you, cherish that person. I feel like I can be myself with you. You don't need to put up any walls or barriers or pretend. I feel like I can be myself with you. And after you have vented, you might even say this, oh, thanks so much for letting me get that off my chest. When you're going through a hard time, it feels like a weight is on your body, a weight's on your shoulders, a weight is on your chest. And when you speak, oh, I feel like a weight was lifted and you could tell your friend, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel so much better now. All right, so now we have just talked about when you're going through a hard time, but what happens if your friend is going through a hard time and your friend is telling you, your friend's venting to you about what's going on. How can you reply? What kind of little phrases can you use so that your friend feels supported and your friend knows that you truly care? Let's talk about those. If you notice that your friend isn't doing that well, you might say something kind like this. Are you feeling all right? You don't seem like yourself. Are you feeling all right? Notice my tone of voice. I'm not accusing them. Are you feeling all right? No. Instead, I'm really soft and empathetic. Are you feeling all right? You don't seem like yourself lately. And when they say, oh, I just didn't get the promotion that I wanted. You might say to them, a very kind question, do you want to talk about it? You're opening the door and letting them know I'm willing to hear what's going on and to listen to you. You don't need to feel worried about venting to me. Do you want to talk about it? And when they tell you they did not get the promotion that they wanted, you can use one of my favorite empathetic phrases that I use in conversations all the time. It's this, that must have been really frustrating. That must have been really annoying, really aggravating, really surprising. This wonderful advanced verb tense you can use, that must have been. You're kind of assuming what kind of emotion they might have and you're empathizing with that emotion. That must have been really frustrating. That must have been really surprising. You worked so hard and you didn't get the promotion. That must have been. You can use this too. A question that you can ask your friend who's going through a hard time is this, what can I do to support you? Maybe they'll say, oh, nothing, but thanks for letting me vent. Okay, sometimes just letting someone vent is a great way to support them, but I recommend asking this because you never know what they might say. Maybe they have another stressor on their mind and they'd like to tell you about it. In my experience, when I'm talking to someone about a hard time, the other person, or sometimes me, feels uncomfortable talking about negative feelings and negative experiences. So you can use this expression to encourage your friend. If your friend says, oh, we don't need to talk about this or, oh, this is too depressing. We don't need to talk about it. Well, it is important to talk about, so you could say this, no, don't bottle it up. Don't keep it inside. Let's talk about it. This idea of a bottle and closing the lid and keeping those negative feelings inside. Don't bottle it. It here is negative feelings. Don't bottle it up. Don't keep it inside. It's not a good idea because you'll probably explode at some point. It's important to vent, to get it out. So you're encouraging your friend, hey, it's okay. Don't bottle it up. This is healthy and important. And finally, when you're done having that feeling rich conversation with your friend, you could say, thanks for sharing that with me. This is a good conclusion that lets them know you really care and you're glad that they shared something difficult with you. It deepens your friendship and here you're acknowledging that. Thanks for sharing that with me. That means a lot. All right, now that you just learned a lot of feeling expressions for you to talk about your difficult feelings and for you to hear and respond to your friend's difficult feelings. Now it's time to take a look at a sample conversation between my husband, Dan, and I, as we talk about our feelings. I want you to pay attention, listen for some of the key phrases that you just learned because after that sample conversation, it will be your turn to speak with me about your feelings. Dun, dun, dun! Are you ready? All right, let's watch that sample conversation first. Hey Dan, are you doing all right? You don't seem quite yourself today. Not really. Can I talk to you about something actually? Of course. What's up? Well, there's this thing at work and I worked really hard at it and my coworkers got all the credit for it. They didn't do anything. I feel like the more work I do, the less recognition I get. That must be so frustrating. It's hard when you work hard on something and no one seems to notice. Yeah, I just feel like if I say anything, they're going to think I'm complaining. Yeah, I get that. But don't bottle it up. You might stay mad at your boss and coworkers and you might be distracted at work. That's a good point. Well, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. No problem. Thanks for telling me. I really appreciate it. I had no idea work was so stressful. Thanks. Well, I gotta go. I'll see you later. See you later. All right. Now it's your turn to speak with me about your feelings. Don't bottle it up. Get it out and vent. I am going to be your friend today and you are going to be sharing with me something difficult that is happening now or that has happened in the past in your life. So I want you to take a deep breath and during this conversation, I will ask a question and then pause and my magic teacher ears will hear you around the world no matter where you are. So make sure that you speak out loud. If you need to pause so that you can speak longer, that's totally fine. If you need to review and go back to this section again and again to practice, go ahead and do it. That's the great thing about learning English online. All right. Are you ready? Let's talk about your feelings. Hey, are you feeling all right? You don't seem like yourself lately. That must have been really hard. So here you can continue to tell me about the difficult time that you're having. What can I do to support you? Well, thanks so much for sharing that with me. I'm glad you didn't bottle it up. I really appreciate it. All right. Great work talking about a negative feeling in English. This is not an easy thing to do in any language, but here you're leveling up your speaking skills. Great work. Well, don't forget to download the free PDF worksheet so that you can remember all of these important and difficult feeling expressions in English, definitions, sample sentences. And on this worksheet, you can see the transcript of the conversation that I had with my husband Dan and the sample conversation that you and I had so that you can write out your answers, read them out loud, practice them so that you can really deepen your English skills. Don't forget to download this. You can click on the link in the description to download this free PDF worksheet today. It is my gift to you. And now I have a question for you. Tell me in the comments, how are you feeling today? And don't worry about sharing a negative feeling. It's totally fine. I want to support you and thank you for sharing it. Let me know in the comments and I'll read what you have to say. Well, thanks so much for learning English with me and I'll see you again next Friday for a new lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye. But wait, do you want more? I recommend watching this video next where you will learn to speak in English about sleep, including is sleeping like a baby a good thing or a bad thing in English? You'll find out there and I'll see you in that lesson.