【極簡歷史】拿破崙戰爭 part 1
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15 次觀看·2025年8月3日
OK,Mrs.Bonaparte, this is it. One last push and we're done.
Congratulations. It's a general.
Oh, and here comes the rest of the army now.
Uh, did you just say the rest of the army?
History is full of great conquerors, many with very impressive origin stories.
For example, Alexander the Great was the son of a king.
Julius Caesar came from an aristocratic family that descended from a goddess.
Great conquerors don't usually come from relatively insignificant families living on impoverished islands.
But as it just so happens, that is where our story begins.
In the early 18th century, the island of Corsica was a part of the Republic of Genoa.
Until one day, Corsica said, hey, we're declaring independence, and it's probably not worth your time to try and stop us.
So Genoa said, you're right, it isn't worth our time.
Hey, France, you want to buy this island?
And France said, sure thing.
And thus, Corsica became France, just in time for Napoleon to be born French.
Many Corsicans didn't appreciate their new conquerors, however.
And from an early age, Napoleon developed some fairly anti-French sentiments.
Napoleon's dad, however, quickly embraced his new French overlords, which created some tension between dad and son.
Oh, look at me. I'm dad.
I wear powdered wigs and silver-buckled shoes, and I'm a traitor to the Corsican people.
Go to your room, Napoleon. No, you go to your room, dad.
Okay.
On the other hand, Napoleon adored his mother, who was definitely the disciplinarian of the family.
And even though she would punish Napoleon severely, he kind of respected that.
But Napoleon's parents wanted the best for their family, and since they were of very minor nobility,
they were able to have Napoleon sent off to the shining lights and rat-infested sewage puddles of the big city.
Napoleon went to military school in France.
Okay, Napoleon, why don't you introduce yourself to your new classmates?
Well, I'm Napoleon, and I hate all of you.
Your farts smell like cheese, you can't pronounce the letter R,
all you do is go on strike, and you call eggs oofs like a bunch of big dumb idiot dingleberries.
Okay.
Thanks, Napoleon. I hope you like being bullied.
And bullied he was.
They picked on him for his Corsican accent, his family's lack of wealth,
and it probably didn't help that he also had a bit of a chip on his shoulder.
But he could hold his own, and on an average day,
might be found dishing out ratatouille sandwiches for breakfast.
He spent much of his time alone, and he loved reading about the great conquerors of history.
He learned about Julius Caesar,
and he wondered if one day he, too, might have a pizza franchise named after him.
He excelled at math and geography,
and when he graduated at the age of 16,
he was made second lieutenant in an artillery regiment.
Now, second lieutenant might sound pretty sweet to a screw-up like you,
but Napoleon had a little something called ambition.
Stonks of it.
And he wasn't content being just some junior officer.
He wanted to rise the ranks.
Unfortunately for him, that would be a little difficult.
Well, Napoleon, I've reviewed your application.
It's clear you're very skilled, and would be a perfect fit for the promotion.
And Simeon, you're just about the biggest idiot I've ever seen.
Your test results suggest you have the mental aptitude of a senile earthworm,
and in the part of the form where you list your experience,
you seem to have drawn a picture of a gerbil giving birth to a shoe.
But your dad is the Marquis de La Foufayette, so you get the job.
French society was just too closed off.
Positions were handed out based on nobility, not talent.
And the young Napoleon probably felt stuck.
Wouldn't it be nice if, say, a revolution came along and changed all of that?
Well, what are the chances?
The French revolution is here.
Bastille toppling.
Head chopping.
King popping.
The revolution promised to do away with the old social hierarchy
and make everyone a little more equal.
Napoleon may not have cared much for the violent mobs,
but if it meant he could rise the ranks,
he was in.
He began fighting to defend the revolution.
He put down a British-sponsored counterrevolution in Toulon and got promoted.
He put down a royalist uprising in Paris and got promoted.
And as his military prowess became more recognized,
he was even given his very own army.
It was astonishing progress for such a young man of humble origins,
and Napoleon's wildest dreams were coming true.
But Napoleon also believed he could increase his social status
if he married an older rich lady.
And so around this time, Napoleon went on the prowl.
However, if some sources are to be believed,
he was a verified creep.
He reportedly had terrible luck with women,
and most wanted nothing to do with him.
Fortunately, he eventually met Josephine,
an aging single mother who was deeply in debt and needed stability.
So she agreed to marry him,
despite finding him intensely disgusting.
Napoleon, you dirty dog.
You've done it.
Unbeknownst to Napoleon, however,
Josephine had a bit of a promiscuous reputation.
Hey Napoleon, I hear you're marrying Josephine.
Boy, she sure is a great kisser.
That's right.
Hey wait, what do you mean she's a great kisser?
Hey Hugo, you hear Napoleon's marrying Josephine?
Wow, she sure is a great kisser.
Now hang on just a minute.
Hey everyone, Napoleon's marrying Josephine.
For goodness sake, is there anyone here who hasn't kissed my wife?
Yeah, you.
As Napoleon fell madly in love with his new wife,
she fell madly in love with a man named Hippolyte.
It wouldn't be long, however,
before Napoleon would leave home and go to war.
Because while France was having its revolution,
tensions in Europe were rising.
Hey Austria, you'll never guess what we just did.
What's that, France?
I got two words for you.
Revolution.
We totally just socked it to our monarchy.
What?
Dude, the rest of us are monarchies.
You've just totally threatened the balance of power in Europe.
Now we have to worry about our stinky peasants rising up against us.
I mean, holy hell, your queen is...
Okay, France, this is pretty awkward.
And the rest of Europe is probably itching to give you a wedgie.
But you're not ready for a war yet.
So you gotta be cool, man.
It's absolutely crucial that you say something to defuse this situation right now.
Preposterous.
I declare war.
Sacre bleu.
So France ended up at war with basically the rest of Europe.
And the war of the first coalition began.
At first, France struggled.
But then they started to do surprisingly well.
And in many conquered territories, they began to establish sister republics.
Exporting their revolutionary ideas across Europe.
In 1796, they planned a three-pronged attack to take Vienna and knock Austria out of the war.
With two magnificent armies in the north to kick ass.
And Napoleon in the south as a bit of a diversion.
For the first time, Napoleon would lead a military campaign.
This was his chance to prove himself.
To be somebody.
And what a general he proved to be.
The army he was given were demoralized.
Lacking equipment and underpaid.
But Napoleon galvanized them with inspirational speeches.
And he took them into Italy.
He was outnumbered.
And his campaign was partially meant to be a sideshow.
But he made it the main show.
While the two northern armies were being held back.
Napoleon made staggering progress.
In his signature Napoleon move.
He masterfully split his enemies into two.
And took them on separately.
Knocking Sardinia out of the war.
And putting the Austrians on the run.
At the famous battle of Lodi.
He was in the fray.
Aiming the cannons himself.
Getting covered in mud.
And earning the total respect of his men.
They respected him so much.
That when he ordered an almost suicidal assault.
On the only bridge in town.
His men threw themselves at it.
And took it despite fierce Austrian resistance.
For Napoleon.
It was all he needed to confirm.
That he was the greatest human who had ever existed.
Wow Napoleon.
You're pretty great at this military stuff.
Just be careful your head doesn't get too big.
What did you just say to me little prick?
And as Napoleon swept through northern Italy.
The Italians cheered his arrival.
Yes.
I'm here to liberate you.
From your cruel Austrian oppressors.
And replace them with French ones.
Napoleon plundered as he went.
Sending riches back to France.
To help its economy.
But also paying his men the first real money.
That's seen in years.
The Pope had been supporting the Austrians.
So Napoleon briefly went.
To go give him a slap.
And as he began to approach Vienna.
The exhausted Austrians were forced to make peace.
With Napoleon overseeing negotiations himself.
He had just single handedly knocked Austria out of the war.
And by the way.
He was only 28.
So maybe it's about time you moved out of your dad's attic.
In the Italian territories he had conquered.
Napoleon established new French sister republics.
Even writing constitutions and organizing governments himself.
Not something a general generally does.
When he got back to France.
He was hailed as a hero.
And the extremely unpopular government.
Were concerned he might get some power hungry ideas.
So they agreed he should go far away from France.
To Egypt.
Where he could maybe undermine British access to India.
Napoleon was eager to win more glory.
So he brought with him a team of scholars.
And he was like.
Woah.
It's a freaky man cat.
Woah.
It's a big stick.
Woah.
It's an ugly horse.
Woah.
It's a stumpy little manlet.
Hey.
I'm actually average height for the time.
But then British Admiral Nelson came down and wrecked his fleet.
And an Anglo-Ottoman force defeated him at Acre.
So Napoleon abandoned his men.
And went back to France.
His campaign in Egypt.
Hadn't gone quite as planned.
But one thing you should know about Napoleon.
Was that he was a skilled propagandist.
He published his own newspapers.
That sometimes exaggerated his achievements.
And even commissioned paintings.
That generally made him look cool.
So when he returned to Paris.
He was yet again hailed as a hero.
And he began to get some power hungry ideas.
First however.
He had a bit of a problem to deal with.
See.
He had learned something shocking.
About his dear wife.
Really Josephine.
This guy.
I'm just as tall as him.
I'm sorry.
I swear.
Now that you're becoming famous.
I'll never do it again.
Make sure you don't.
I've never stooped so low as to cheat on you.
Now if you'll excuse me.
I'll be in this room.
Consulting my generals for the next 30 minutes.
And by consulting.
I mean boinking.
By my generals.
I mean this woman.
And by 30 minutes.
I mean 2 seconds.
Having dealt with his wife.
Napoleon was then approached.
By a very influential politician.
Who said he had an idea.
He wanted to stage a coup.
Against the deeply unpopular government.
And needed the extremely popular.
Napoleon's help.
And Napoleon thought that was just.
The darn tutanist idea.
The plan was to trap the government.
And convince them to voluntarily.
Give up their power.
And here's how they did it.
Hey guys.
Oh my gosh.
Quick.
There's a dangerous Jacobin plot.
To overthrow you.
Which we definitely.
Aren't just making up.
Better get inside this cage.
So we can protect you.
Okay.
Gentlemen.
We got him.
In this case.
The cage.
Was an isolated palace.
Outside of Paris.
With no one around.
But Napoleon.
And his army.
With the government inside.
Napoleon then entered.
And a pretty chaotic event ensued.
During which the government.
Didn't seem entirely sure.
What was going on.
Napoleon's men.
Didn't seem entirely sure.
What was going on.
And Napoleon himself.
Didn't seem entirely sure.
What was going on.
But thankfully.
Napoleon's brother Lucian.
President of the lower house.
Managed to regain control.
And the remaining councilmen.
Were intimidated.
Into creating a new constitution.
And thus.
A new government was formed.
This time.
With three councils in charge.
But after Napoleon.
Did some rewriting.
In the end.
There was really only.
One man in charge.
The first council.
Him.
And over the next few years.
He worked to consolidate.
Even more power.
And essentially.
Became a dictator.
In total control.
Of France.
And by the way.
He was only 30.
So maybe it's about time.
You washed your disgusting.
Bedsheets.
France was now ruled.
By possibly the greatest.
Military leader.
Of the time.
Possibly the greatest.
Or definitely.
Well now is his chance.
To prove it.
See.
Back when Napoleon.
Was still in Egypt.
Being Indiana Jones.
Back home.
France was in France.
Being France.
They had conquered.
Even more territory.
And they were like.
Hey Piedmont.
You get revolutionary ideals.
Hey Switzerland.
You get revolutionary ideals.
And Rome.
You get revolutionary ideals.
Everybody gets revolutionary ideals.
Oh.
Hey guys.
Nice sledgehammers.
And naples.
Very cool nail gun.
You guys here to get some.
Revolutionary ideals.
As France.
Was still spreading the revolution.
And with Napoleon.
Busy in Egypt.
The European powers.
Felt the time was right.
For round two.
And the war.
Of the second coalition.
Began.
And this time.
Their big bad boy.
Buddy Russia.
Was here to bang.
Some French boys.
Back to Bordeaux.
And bang them.
They did.
France.
Got blasted.
But then Russia.
Pulled out after.
Stolen in Switzerland.
And now that Napoleon.
Was in charge of the country.
He was ready.
To start blasting.
Right back.
He took command of the army.
Of the reserve.
And he brought the fight.
To the Austrians.
Now.
There are many traits.
That made Napoleon.
A great military leader.
I already mentioned one of them.
How he was.
One of the boys.
And commanded the total loyalty.
Of his men.
But now we see.
A second reason.
The element.
Of surprise.
In 1800.
Napoleon moved to Geneva.
And it looked like.
He was probably going to take on.
The Austrian forces.
In Germany.
There's no way.
He'd be crazy enough.
To move his entire army.
South of the Alps.
As a surprise attack.
On the Austrians.
Besieging Genoa.
Oh.
Napoleon's crossing of the Alps.
Is legendary.
And you may have seen.
One of the most famous.
Paintings of the general.
Popping a sick wheelie.
On his majestic stallion.
Surrounded by dangerous.
Mountain terrain.
Of course.
In real life.
He made the crossing.
On a depressed mule.
But that's not as cool.
When he emerged in Italy.
The Austrians expected him.
To come break their siege.
But Napoleon.
Went for their supply line.
Near Milan.
Forcing the Austrians.
To meet Napoleon.
Head on.
At the famous.
Battle of Marengo.
The Austrians.
Initially crossed the Alps.
And they were like.
Hooray.
We won.
But then a few hours later.
Napoleon showed up again.
With an even bigger army.
And he clobbered them.
Right back.
Holy cow.
This tiny little.
Fun-sized French guy.
Is running rings around us.
Hey.
I'm average height.
For the time.
You jerk.
Then.
After General Moreau's victory.
At Hohenlinden.
Vienna.
Was exposed.
And the Austrians again.
Sued for peace.
Just like the war.
Of the first coalition.
The second coalition.
Ended in another French victory.
But in many ways.
They both felt more like.
Napoleon victories.
Only the UK.
Remained at war with Napoleon.
And they were using.
Their powerful navy.
To blockade French ports.
And were even.
Seizing the cargoes.
Of neutral ships.
Obviously.
Everyone else.
Got pretty pissed off.
That the British.
Were interfering with their trade.
So in response.
They formed.
A league.
And they embargoed the UK.
Right back.
Neutral countries.
Protecting their own interests.
That's offensive.
So Britain went to Copenhagen.
And blew a bunch of stuff up.
And the league disbanded.
But because the UK's economy.
Was pretty bust.
They decided to sign.
A treaty with France.
In 1802.
For the first time.
In a long time.
Europe.
Was at peace.
Congratulations sire.
You've achieved peace.
Yes Pierre.
But not for long.
I still don't trust.
Those dirty Brits.
Did you hear.
They've been calling me.
The bony man.
What does that even mean?
Keep an eye on them.
Would you?
I can't.
Oh yeah.
Crossing the Alps.
Defeating the Austrians.
And Europe.
At peace.
What a meteoric rise.
It had been.
For the young Corsican.
He had just taken.
Charge of a nation.
That appeared to be.
Losing a war.
And turned it.
All around.
Securing French gains.
In Europe.
But there was now.
A big question.
You see.
Throughout the chaotic.
French revolution.
French governments.
Had struggled to keep.
The economy afloat.
They often didn't have.
A whole lot of support.
And they frequently.
Came and went.
Would Napoleon.
Finally be the man.
Who could stick around?
Military victories.
Were one thing.
But could the general.
Also govern?
Spoiler alert.
Yes.
The economy's crumbling?
Well then.
Why don't you have yourself.
A new national bank.
Currency reform.
And improved taxation.
And welfare systems.
The legal system.
Is an incoherent mess?
Well then.
Why don't we nicely wrap.
All those civil laws up.
Into one new centralized.
Legal code?
Corrupt government officials?
Throw them in the trash.
Bad infrastructure?
Throw it in the trash.
Women's rights?
Throw them in the trash.
Wait.
Really?
Well.
Yeah.
Unfortunately.
While Napoleon was building.
On the equality of the revolution.
He also largely scaled.
Back rights.
For certain groups.
And husbands.
Had full legal control.
Over their wives.
But.
Come on ladies.
Maybe let men.
Have a slice of the pie.
For once.
Okay.
Napoleon further.
Reformed education.
Ensuring a system.
Based on individual ability.
Meaning now.
Simeon had to compete.
With everyone else.
And Napoleon.
Could get the cream of the crop.
To help him run the republic.
But he wasn't just building.
On the ideas of the revolution.
The revolution.
Had led to a lot of chaos.
And Napoleon.
Needed stability.
So he rolled back.
A couple things.
Most notably.
With religion.
The revolution.
Had pretty much.
Kicked the Catholic church.
To the curb.
But Napoleon understood.
That since many French citizens.
Still considered themselves.
Catholic.
That could be a problem.
So he came to an agreement.
With the Pope.
And brought back the church.
Only this time.
With some pretty hefty.
Power limitations.
He also ensured freedom.
For other religions.
And is often noted.
For his positive treatment.
Of Jewish people.
At a time of widespread.
Anti-Semitism.
But while all of this.
May make Napoleon sound like.
A pretty stand up dude.
It's good to note.
That he believed.
In religious freedom.
Because he thought.
It was a powerful tool.
To keep the poor.
From eating the rich.
Or something like that.
Overall.
Napoleon's aim.
Was to end the chaos.
Of the revolution.
And finally create a stable.
And prospering French republic.
And in that aim.
He seemed to be.
Largely successful.
And generally popular.
With the people of France.
He officially declared.
That the revolution.
Is over.
Adding.
I am the revolution.
Napoleon's head.
Could be seen for miles.
Of course.
Not everyone was happy.
With Napoleon's reforms.
Conservatives.
Felt he was too radical.
Radicals.
Felt he was too conservative.
But since Napoleon.
Was a dictator.
Opposition could usually.
Be stamped out.
With some good old fashioned.
Iron fisting.
In 1804.
Napoleon took one last.
Major step.
After some failed attempts.
Were made to assassinate him.
He wanted to strengthen.
His position.
And ensure his dynasty.
Could live on after him.
And so he decided.
Being first consul.
For life.
Simply wasn't quite enough.
He decided.
He should become.
Emperor.
He held a vote.
Asking the French people.
If they were cool with the idea.
And they agreed.
And they returned.
A definitely not rigged.
99.9 percent.
In favor.
The balls.
On this man.
And so on the 2nd of December.
1804.
In an elaborate ceremony.
At Notre Dame.
Napoleon.
Was made.
Emperor.
The Pope was even invited.
To attend.
And normally.
He would crown an emperor.
But to make sure everyone knew.
This wasn't some Charlemagne style.
Circular power division.
Napoleon lifted the crown.
And placed it.
On his own head.
Like I said.
The balls on this man.
He was now.
Emperor.
Of the French.
Well Napoleon.
You were a general.
Then you became.
First consul for life.
And now.
You're an emperor.
Is it.
Enough yet?
Is your ambition.
Finally satisfied?
Hmm.
I don't know Pierre.
What comes after emperor?
I would say.
God sire.
You.
Want to be a god?
Yes.
I'll put it down under maybe.
OK everyone.
What the hell is going on?
This coarse skin guy.
Showed up out of nowhere.
And he's kicking our ass.
He's exporting the ideas.
Of the French revolution.
Wherever he goes.
And he just declared himself.
King of Italy.
And emperor.
He can't do that.
I'm the emperor.
Oh.
Hey fellow monarchs.
I see you're having.
A monarch party.
My invite.
Must have got lost in the mail.
I'll just set up a spot.
Right here.
Wow.
You don't belong here Napoleon.
We're coming to take you down.
I'd like to see you try.
Oh.
I'm so scared.
I just pooed my pants.
Hey everyone.
I just pooed my pants.
I did just poo my pants.
Before Napoleon had even.
Declared himself emperor.
The British had already.
Redeclared war on France.
Because both sides had been.
Violating their previous treaty.
Napoleon immediately.
Occupied Hanover.
And then began making plans.
For a great British invasion.
Partially paid for by.
Selling a huge chunk of land.
To the United States.
Napoleon gathered his army.
Along the English channel.
But here was the problem.
While Napoleon's powerful army.
Would almost certainly obliterate.
The British on land.
There was very little chance.
He'd actually make it.
To cross the channel.
Because Britannia.
Ruled the waves.
This power dynamic.
Would keep the two.
Traditional enemies.
From engaging in much.
Real direct combat.
Throughout the Napoleonic wars.
However.
The British.
Had something else.
Up their sleeve.
Copious amounts of money.
They were willing to.
Throw cash at anyone.
Who would go to war.
Against Napoleon.
And there were.
Plenty of takers.
Austria.
Russia.
Naples.
And Sweden.
Hoping to put Napoleon's.
France back in its place.
Formed a third coalition.
Against France.
The coalition forces.
Probably thought that.
This time.
They stood a chance.
They weren't prepared.
For the total humiliation.
They were about.
To suffer.
The war of the third coalition.
Was Napoleon.
At his best.
We've already learned.
Two ways.
In which Napoleon.
Was a great military commander.
But here comes.
One of the biggest reasons.
Speed.
He had reorganized his army.
Into corps.
Which were themselves.
Basically.
Small armies.
Each had their own infantry.
Cavalry.
And artillery.
And as a result.
Was able to act.
More independently.
They spread out.
Through the countryside.
And by living off the land.
Rather than relying.
On heavy supply trains.
They were able to move.
Extremely quickly.
Napoleon would traverse.
Massive distances.
Outmaneuver his enemies.
Isolate them.
And then move in.
For the kill.
Before they even knew.
What was going on.
Lightning warfare.
Leading to total destruction.
Would you like to see him do it?
Here we go.
Part of the coalition's plan.
Was for the Russians.
To meet up with the Austrians.
And take on Napoleon.
Together.
Combined.
They could turn the tide.
Against him.
So Napoleon.
Needed to step up.
To stop them from ever meeting.
But he's all the way over in Boulogne.
No problem.
In a matter of weeks.
Napoleon marched 200,000 men.
In secret.
Encircling Austrian General Mack.
And capturing his entire army.
A devastating blow.
Napoleon later remarked.
I have destroyed the Austrian army.
By simply marching.
Next.
He turned to face the approaching Russians.
OK.
It looks like the French are coming for us.
But check this out.
I've got an amazing idea.
When they approach.
We run.
Away.
Sir.
You're a genius.
The Russians began to retreat.
With Napoleon giving chase.
And since his tactics relied on quick victories.
This.
Could be a problem.
Especially because the longer the war went on.
The more likely it looked.
Other countries may join the coalition.
Against him.
But Napoleon knew the Russian Tsar.
Alexander I.
Was young.
And seeking glory.
So he came up with an idea.
To lure him in.
He sent him.
A message.
What does it say?
Um.
It says.
Hello.
I'm just a wittle baby boy.
And I'm very skilled.
Are you talking like that?
Or is he?
He is sir.
Why is he doing that?
I don't know.
But it's very cute.
Helpless.
And vulnerable.
Um.
A little baby boy eh?
Very scared eh?
Cute eh?
Boris.
Get my crossbow.
We're going hunting.
The allied forces.
Turned to face Napoleon.
Who they now believed.
Was in a vulnerable position.
He was set up.
At Austerlitz.
And to make it look like.
He was retreating.
He had even evacuated.
The high ground.
A thick fog set in.
Obscuring Napoleon's center.
As the allies took the bait.
And set up on the heights.
From there.
They spotted Napoleon's.
Very weak looking right flank.
And they descended the heights.
To go get it.
Little did they know.
It was exactly.
What Napoleon was hoping they'd do.
The next thing they knew.
A large French force.
Was emerging from the fog.
Launching a huge central assault.
Up the hill.
They swung around.
Crushing the allies.
And as men attempted to flee.
Across the frozen lakes.
Napoleon ordered his artillery.
To fire on the ice.
Causing an unknown number.
To drown.
But.
He told me.
He was just a little baby boy.
What happened?
He tricked you sir.
You mean.
I was the little baby boy all along.
It was Napoleon's masterpiece.
And Austria.
Were once again forced.
To make peace with France.
Then.
With the French conquest of Naples.
In 1806.
The war of the third coalition.
Ended.
As yet another.
Napoleon.
Victory.
This was the third time.
Napoleon had had to give.
Austrian Emperor Francis.
A good spanking.
And so.
With the peace treaty in 1805.
Napoleon was determined.
To punish him.
He was forced to give up territory.
Hand over significant compensation.
And promised.
Never to fight Napoleon again.
For now.
Russia.
Sweden.
And the UK.
Remained at war with France.
But none were able to offer.
Much of a threat.
And so.
Napoleon got to work.
Strengthening his grip.
Over Europe.
He gave out rule.
Of captured territories.
To his family and friends.
And most notably.
He established a new confederation.
In Germany.
With himself.
As its protector.
Seeing his influence.
In Germany.
Being wiped away.
Emperor Francis.
Acknowledged reality.
And officially dissolved.
The Holy Roman Empire.
An entity.
That had existed.
For over a thousand years.
But it wasn't.
All good news for Napoleon.
For one thing.
Spain had earlier.
Allied with France in 1804.
Because the British.
Just couldn't help themselves.
From blowing up Spanish ships.
And Napoleon hoped.
A combined French-Spanish fleet.
Would eventually be able.
To invade England.
Unfortunately.
He received word.
That British Admiral Nelson.
Had engaged his fleet.
At Trafalgar.
Normally.
Naval battles.
Looked like this.
But in this case.
Nelson.
Did this.
Was it.
Because he was an idiot?
No.
It's because.
He was a genius.
He successfully punched.
Through the Franco-Spanish line.
And unleashed hell.
His victory ensured.
British control of the sea.
And his death.
During the battle.
Made him.
A legend.
Napoleon's hopes.
For a future British invasion.
Were gone.
But not just that.
Napoleon was also hoping.
To secure peace.
On the continent.
But that wasn't looking likely.
Because the Prussian king.
Was under pressure.
From his wife.
Frederick.
He's established a confederation.
In our turf.
And he told us.
He'd give us Hanover.
But then offered it to the British.
You have to declare war on him.
What is it with you and war?
What is it with you and being a cupcake?
Go to war!
Okay.
In October 1806.
Prussia.
With its famed military tradition.
Joined the coalition.
And declared war.
Beginning the war.
Of the fourth coalition.
Unfortunately.
Prussian king Frederick William the third.
Wasn't the smartest tool in the shed.
Look at him over there.
Being all French.
Makes me sick.
Boys.
We'll get him this time.
But here's the thing.
This time.
We have to stick together.
Do not under any circumstances.
Face Napoleon by yourself.
You all saw what happened to Austria.
Hey.
Where'd Fred go?
Hey you jerk.
Think you're some kind of big shot?
Huh?
Wanna tangle with Fred?
You don't got the cojones.
We're screwed.
Without consulting its allies.
Prussia had gone ahead.
And sent Napoleon an ultimatum.
Demanding he move all his forces.
Out of Germany.
Now.
Some of you watching this video.
Probably can't even wipe your own bum bum yet.
But even you know.
You don't just send Napoleon.
An ultimatum.
Obviously.
Napoleon went in.
For the kill.
Prussia's army.
Was quite outdated.
So when they met Napoleon.
At the twin battles of Jena.
And Auerstedt.
It wasn't even close.
Even Marshal Davout's.
Heavily outnumbered corps at Auerstedt.
Sent the Prussians running.
And Napoleon carried out.
A ruthless pursuit.
Of his fleeing enemy.
Taking Berlin.
And within a single month.
Decimating the Prussian forces.
Frederick William and the remnants of his army.
Moved to the east.
At this point.
Napoleon's forces were pretty tired.
Winter had come.
And conditions.
Were miserable.
He anticipated both sides.
Would settle into winter quarters.
But Russia.
Decided to try their hand.
At an unexpected winter attack.
A series of brutal battles followed.
That took a heavy toll.
On both sides.
Including the vicious battle of Eilat.
Fought in blizzard conditions.
Men froze to death.
And many.
Deserted.
The Russian artillery.
Tore the French to shreds.
And Napoleon himself.
Was momentarily.
Under risk of being captured.
In the end.
The French army was saved.
Thanks to a legendary.
Cavalry charge.
By Napoleon's flamboyant.
Cavalry commander.
Murat.
After the horror.
Inflicted on both sides.
They decided.
It might be a good idea.
Not to do anymore fighting.
Until after winter.
Then.
After winter came.
And the fighting.
Continued.
The Russians were pushed back.
To Friedland.
Where Russian general.
Benigsen.
Made a bit of a blunder.
By positioning himself.
With the Aloe River.
To his back.
The French artillery.
Were able to pin the Russians.
Between the river.
And their concentrated gunfire.
A major element.
In Napoleon's fighting style.
And many Russians drowned.
As they tried to escape.
War of the Fourth Coalition.
Victory.
Napoleon.
