We Got Ourselves Into a Complicated Situation With Family

[Music] brought to you by Xander Insurance. Compare rates from top-term life insurance companies in seconds at xander.com. My question is regarding uh some land that we had um bought with other family members uh three other family members actually. And that feels complicated, right? Um that's that's what I thought in the beginning uh as well and I kind of my feelings had really changed but my husband this is something uh that he wanted to do more so I was uh who are the family give us the family relationships who are the three parties uh so the other three is one of his brothers um uh his wife they're two and about to be three kids and uh they live with um their mom or sorry, with his mom or more like she lives with them. And then um and then the other set is his aunt and uncle and and then the last set is his cousin, her husband, and two kids about to be another kid, too. How much land? It's 75 acres. And uh and here's where it for me it felt a little bit complicated. Um is that it's split 18.75 acres each, but four acres is like our plot each. Um, and then the rest of that, that 14.75 for each is the back half of the land. And that is shared and and and I don't know. I still don't even really understand the shared part cuz I What's the goal of all of this? Yeah, this is all confusing. Why did we do this in the first place? It just sounded cool. Um, well, I know for for them they want it. I I'm just I'm just going I'm just here for the ride. But who's living on the land right now? No, nobody's living on the land because we're still clearing it out. Um, and so nothing has been even nothing can be built on it yet because we still have to clear it. Uh, and we're doing it ourselves and um to save money for that. But okay, when I asked about the shared part, like why are we sharing it? Um, so everyone only technically has four acres each. Yeah. Okay. And the rest is just common. Common area. And one of them, I mean, I asked about it again um last week and to uh one family member, he expressed that eventually he wants to get cows and I I believe like have a cow mill or something like that. And I I just said, "Well, I'm not interested in that. Um I I just want to let you know that I don't I mean, that's cool for you, but I don't want to partake in it. And I have to feel like I have to say something now because are they trying to share costs of all this? I'm confused. Yes. What's the actual question here? The question is Yeah. Yeah. And and the reason that we're I'm I'm calling is because there are now expected costs that everyone is supposed to be sharing. and and I thought it was only going to be this tractor that uh they just purchased because in the beginning we were using a tractor that was uh loaned to us for free. So we just had to pay for the food. Okay. So you're saying hey Bosephus wants to get a giant tractor that's $500,000 to clear the land. We're going to have to pony up $125 grand. You're that's your fear on not that much. Sure. But just the example he wants to start a farm. He wants to get the cattle and now it's on all of us to split it. All right. Listen here's the deal. I'm I am so confused because I don't understand how everybody by the it sounds like technically everybody gets 18 acres but then you get four acres plot to put a house on and it just seems so convoluted and all that's all that's very confusing and very frustrating for you. Here's the problem. I don't know how George and I help you. I hear your question but this is already done and you're the wife. Your husband gets you into this. It's not in any of our names yet. It hasn't been subdivided. So, so this is a marriage conversation. Sounds like it is. It is a marriage conversation. And because it's um uh and and I spoke to him about it as and and they reassured him, don't feel pressured. If you don't want to continue with this, you can just sell your portion back to us. Can they afford it? Um I believe so. because honestly we were the only ones that were hesitant about it. And is your husband hesitant? He he is because of the expense, but I know he has like FOMO because eventually he does want land and he does and I don't mind living near my family. I just Here's an idea. Sell the land back to them and buy your own land one day when you're ready and willing and able to actually handle it. And and I and I've said that. Um, what did it cost you guys to get in this? So, here uh I'm looking for a number. Stephanie, give me a number. 65,000. It's like 65 and his mom gave us 40 to put as a towards our portion because um that was like part of our inheritance. Yeah. So, she doesn't want it back. That was a gift. Well, uh, his brother said, "Well, if we did sell back, then they'll keep that portion and whenever they sell their house, then we'll No, it's your inheritance. It's your money to do what you want with it." Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But we would get our inheritance when they sell the house. Um, like you guys have over complicated every single corner. If my life If my life depended on repeating back to you what you've told me so far in the last five minutes, I'm a dead man. I I got to tell you, this is crazy. This is a corn maze. That's what you built out here. This is nuts. And it's going nowhere fast cuz everyone signed up to somehow do this themselves. This is you putting a full stop on your husband and go, "Hubs, we need to have a nice dinner. No one interrupting us. I've got fear. I've got doubts. I do not want to do this. Do you hear me? Do you see me?" And I hope he's got enough sense to see and hear you and back out of this deal. This is going to turn into a nightmare. These people are making up deals every other day. Aunt and uncle Larry and and Mabel are talking to his brother and they're cutting deals and nobody knows what's going on. This is a reality TV show. If I were a TV producer, I'd be going, "Everybody do this." And uh we'll throw 100 grand towards this just so I can film all this cuz this is going to be a nightmare. Yeah. I'd rather him have FOMO because he backed out than have his current reality, which is a resentful wife and a mess, on his hands that he has no control over. And I I didn't want to be that. And I said, "Um, I don't want to be the reason that you don't get to do this, but just know these are my fears." And so I know he's having to make that decision, you know, ultimately uh very soon on whether we're going to sell or not back to them. And and and he he's been reassured that no one's going to hold anything against them if we don't do it. Yeah. But I'm I'm suspicious of that. People that say, "Hey, listen. There's no pressure. We're not we're not going to hold it against you." It's a manipulative move a lot of times. I'd get out of this thing. There's no good ideas in this mess. It's just manure and overgrown. George, will you quiz me uh on the details of this? See if I can remember half of what she told us. It was that confusing. To quiz you, I would have to know half of what she said. Oh boy. I'm so sorry, Stephanie. I hope uh you and your husband can figure this out. This is definitely more of a marriage issue than a financial one. If anyone depends on your income, you need affordable term life. Never cash value insurance. Visit xander.com today for