Apple Explains How They Invent New Products

Hi, I'm Sam Tucker from Apple, home to some of the greatest inventions such as the iPod, the iPhone and well I'm sure there was another one after that. In any case, people want to know how to invent like us and that's why we've made this instructional video called How Apple Invents New Products. Feel free to take notes. Method one, take an existing product and make it the wrong shape. For example, watches were circles so we made them square. Mice were square and so we made them circles. Some people think that this is the worst mouse in the world. Screens were rectangular, now they're notchtangular. Yes, we never get it wrong when it comes to our shapes. Like computers always looked like this, so we decided to release a cube. Oh, what about a tube? All right, fine, you win. We'll make it a kitchen utensil. Can't innovate anymore my ass. All right, not all of our computer shapes were a failure. The G3 iMac was a sight to behold. With such a useful and inventive hinge mechanism, we thought why are we charging about a thousand dollars for a computer when we could charge that much just for the stand? Now that's easy-nomics. Method two, take an existing product but make it charge weird. Like the competition charges their mice the right way around, so let's charge ours upside down. That's just incredible. The iPod shuffle was so small it had to charge through the headphone jack. Wow, maybe we should have charged our iPhones that way instead of having courage. Courage. And of course we know people love our iPads, and while our customers can't have sex with it, at least the Apple Pencil can. Or at least it could, now it just humps the side, less hot. Method three, take an existing product and give it weird controls. That's right, since the original one-click mouse, Apple has been a little weird with our control schemes. Apple is Like look at this, I have a trackpad, I have a TV remote, pen pineapple apple remote, a TV remote with a trackpad. Oh, and remember that little ball that used to come on the bottom of mice? Well, we accidentally put that on the top. We've got a scroll wheel watch, and scroll wheel earmuffs, and if you've seen recent clips of Tim Cook, you'll notice he's been practicing his pinching. And that shows up in the products, like we take a stylus, and we squeeze it. Got earbuds? Well, give them a squeeze. And if you got that mighty mouse, give it a mighty squeeze. Heck, even when you put the product on your face, we'll ask you to pinch the thin air. And you might as well be grasping at the air, because some of our products don't even have buttons at all, such as that iPod shuffle. But heck, even when iPods did have a clickable interface, it wasn't all that much better. I mean, the original one had a scroll wheel and five physical buttons, and none of them was an on button. In fact, method four, hide the on button. As the saying goes, there's nothing at Apple that we like more than to f*** with people who haven't used us before. And the classic example of this is the iMac, where all the useful ports are around the back, as well as the power button, which is hidden around the back and on one of the sides. And so, just like the old USB-A, you're bound to get the wrong way the first few times. Where's the button? Oh my god. The new Mac mini goes an extra step and puts the button on the bottom, where no mere mortal finger can reach. Compare this to the new laptops, where every button is an on button now. How cool is that? And turning things off isn't an easy matter either. As the power button on your remote doesn't turn off the Apple TV, it turns off your TV TV. The pinch returns, as the iPhone now needs you to push two buttons to turn it off, and the AirPods Max technically can't be turned off at all. Wow. And finally, method five. Take an existing product and make it expensive. For instance, why get an iPhone when you can get an iPhone Pro? You got an iPad? Try the iPad Pro. And with the new Apple Pencil, you can even get a Pro peripheral now. The Mac comes with some pretty sweet free software, but if you call them Pro, well now you can charge for it. Heck, you don't even have to have an existing product. Just make a new thing real expensive and call it Pro. And if Zuckerberg says that he made a Pro headset first, well tell him, excuse me, but how could that be a Pro thing if it only costs $1,000? And that is how Apple invents new-ish products. Thanks for joining the course, and why not check out how we calculate the price of our products and how we name them. And until next time, we hope that you invent great things so that we can take it and put our logo on it. Innovation. Subscribe today. Everyone, thanks for watching the video, and I hope that you take an existing product and click the subscribe button on it for more fun tech news and parodies. And let me know what you would invent if you worked at Apple and you had $100. Apple's on a budget this year, I guess. Subscribe!