Life is about to change (I’ve been keeping a secret) ✨ | slow & cozy summer to autumn transition 🍂

Life is picking up pace here in the countryside, with the harvest season fast approaching, before plunging deeper into golden, cozy autumn months soon enough. It's coming, my favorite time of year. I can feel these last few breaths of August and the chill of morning air and sound of songbirds getting quieter with each coming day. And with it, I want to pick up pace as well, after months of hot, sticky, slumberous summer. But I'm reminded that, for me too, a season of life is about to change. And with the coming of autumn, a different sort of life is about to begin. Life constantly makes us shatter old skin, doesn't it? Old ways of being, old beliefs. I never believed myself to be soft, to be gentle. I never believed myself capable of ever bringing up new life. Perhaps it's when we shed our old beliefs, we open ourselves to the most beautiful new flow, new change, the possibilities we never dared to imagine. I'm curious and scared and nervous and happy all at the same time. I want to share these news with the entire world, and I want to stay quiet and secluded in my own little corner all the same. At the moment, I simply choose to flow gently to where I'm being led to. I'm learning every single day to surrender to the current moment, to my current body and energy and way of feeling, something that I've never known and experienced before. As someone who for my entire life frantically grasped at every single straw, searching for myself, my identity, purpose, unable to let go and let life take its course, this season forcefully pushed me back into a slower, more deliberate kind of existence, teaching me to quietly look inwards as life also grows within me. I realized I feel calmer somehow, stronger at times, as if growing a tiny human on the inside helped me also grow my own being. He came to us when winter was about to bloom into spring, and I've been trying very hard to keep him a secret, not ready to share this journey with the world before savoring every moment of this new life in the quietude of our own little bubble. Just as nature ebbs and flows and changes its many colors, it taught me to surrender to life and face my feelings, internal and external, without judgment. And soon, summer will melt into autumn. Leaves will change their color to vibrant gold and seasons will shift again, in ways I haven't experienced ever before. The big news is finally out, and if you've been a member on this channel, you have probably known this for a few weeks, and some of you have guessed it under my few of my previous videos, but I have not been ready to share this with the wider world. I wanted to keep this to myself for as long as possible, but it's becoming increasingly more difficult to hide, as you can probably tell. Our baby is going to be born in deep, deep autumn, and I am very excited, but also very nervous about this. This is the change that we expected, and we knew that is going to happen at some point very soon, but I don't think one can be 100% ready for it. At least that's the case for me. I don't think that even with that knowledge, even with that anticipation, I was 100% ready, and I never really would be. Most of my life I very much just left focus on my career, on myself, on developing myself, on my personal growth, and that's how I was brought up, really, and I never really thought about a possibility of any other kind of life being plausible for me. It is really exciting, though, and I am every single day getting to myself from a completely different new angle, and the focus won't be on myself so much anymore, so this is kind of a big change as well. I very severely underestimated my energy levels and capacity for productivity throughout this pregnancy, to be honest. I had zero energy for anything and had to push myself really hard to do anything beyond the necessities and the necessary work. I had to really push myself hard to stay creative and productive, because I felt extremely depleted. I didn't really have too many other symptoms, so I do consider myself quite lucky, because I think perhaps I am the easy type of pregnancy case, but the exhaustion was real, and it still continues to be real to this day throughout all of the three trimesters. I had huge plans and wanted to do so much before the baby comes, but instead I had to learn to slow down without this constant fear of missing out. I am still planning to continue creating and posting videos while I can, but as you may have noticed, I haven't actually been very consistent with my content in the recent months. I am really trying to keep it as flexible as I can. I will then take a break throughout the late autumn and winter, but I am not going to promise that it's gonna take a certain amount of time, because I have no idea how long it's gonna take. I am going to go with the flow and see how it feels without trying to absolutely force it, but I will definitely want to have some time to adjust and spend time with the baby, and it's just going to be such an exciting period of life for which I want to be fully present without any kind of distraction. I should mention that down the line I am not planning to show the baby in my videos and focus my content on the baby. Of course, you might see him as a matter-of-factly sort of thing, because he will be with me all the time, but none of my videos will focus on him or show his face or anything like that at all. I might share some thoughts this journey with you, because my videos are very much real to what is going on in my head and in my life, but I don't want motherhood to become a sole type of content that I create. And naturally it won't, because I am quite private about anything that concerns my relationship or kind of very personal life, but some snippets of it might appear in my videos. I just wanted to say thank you so much for bearing with me on this journey and sticking with me throughout and supporting me. I appreciate every single one of you. I hope that you're having a wonderful time wherever you are, and I will see you again very soon, probably with a tunnel content this time, because I personally can't wait for autumn. I know there are many of you here who are kind of the same. Okay, bye!