Keanu Reeves: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis | Netflix Is A Joke

Keanu Reeves. Keanu, Keanu, Keanu, Keanu, Keanu. Keanu Reeves. Hi, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns. I'm your host, Keanu Reeves. I'm your host, Zach Galifianakis. And my guest today is Keanu Reeves. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me here. On a scale of one to a hundred, how many words do you know? One to a hundred. But do you know 50 words? Do you know 75 words? Do you know 18 words? Is it frustrating to have people think of you as a complete bozo? When the truth is that you're just a man with below average intelligence. Just do one for yes and then two for no. You have a big scar right here from a motorcycle accident. Yeah, I do, yeah. Is it, where is it? It starts from here. God, that big? I have a similar scar on my leg. From what? Walked out of the movie Lakehouse. Bumped into the seat in front of me. I understand that you had to have your peen removed. My what? Your peen? My peen? I mean my spleen. Ah, darn it. I was hoping I could have it. Peen, not spleen. Do you research your roles? Yeah. Have you ever considered researching a character that has taken acting classes? Right now I'm acting like this is fun. How am I doing? Well, your name is Keanu, which is Hawaiian. Yeah. But like Obama, you weren't born in Hawaii, were you? No, no I wasn't. You were born in Beirut, Lebanon. Oh, like Obama. No. He was born in the Middle East, right? Your band, you still in the band? No, the band broke up. Called Dog Star? Yes. But I think the only Dog Star that there ever has really been is Bud McKenzie. I usually high five after that, but I'm not going to. Okay. The focus group people always want to know where do you keep all of your awards? All your mantle? I don't have that many awards. At the end of your career, are you going to look back and say winning the MTV Movie Award for Best Fight made it all worth it? Yeah. In the Matrix, Neo is the chosen one. Yeah. So he's Jewish? I'm sorry, what? Neo is Jewish? Neo is Jewish. Because he's the chosen one. There's a big conspiracy theory that you're not aging because you're immortal. Is that why your movies feel like an eternity? Well, eternity feels shorter than this. Touché. You know what that means? Touché? Are you saying touché or do you know what it means? Did I just touché you? You touchéed and then you asked me if I knew what touché meant. And then you said touché, as if you were touchéing me. Kind of, but not really. You wrote a poem for a book, right? And I love this poem. Do you mind if I read it? It's called An Ode to Happiness, and he really wrote this. I draw a hot sorrow bath in my despair room with a misery candle burning. I wash my hair with regret shampoo after cleaning myself with pain soap. I dry myself with gorgeous white one hundred percent and it will never change towel. Keep going. Finish the poem. If you're going to read the poem, read the poem. And I go to sleep. Yeah, right in the middle of the poem. When the hue has gone blue and you can't quite grin and bear it, let this word picture remind you it can always be worse. And the worse would be reading the poem? Ugh. Between Two Ferns the movie. It's streaming now on Netflix.