Building and Managing Relationships in the Workplace

You know I love a good quote. I couldn't find who said this, but I've always liked it. If you wanna go fast, go alone. If you wanna go far, go together. I think this is especially true at work. Gone are the days of the industrial age when you were measured solely by the number of widgets you produced on your shift. We are in the information age, where information is a commodity accessible to many. So what differentiates success from failure? It's the ability to get things done through others. This requires that you build relationships inside and outside of the workplace for optimal productivity, effectiveness, and value creation. In this video, I've literally pulled from a chapter in my book, Career Mapping, Charting Your Course in the New World of Work, to get you to understand the benefits of consciously and deliberately building relationships in the workplace and beyond. By the way, don't wait until you're looking for a job to start ponying up to people. You'll appear disingenuous and they'll see right through you. I'll also share how to know who to invest in and who to avoid. This isn't always as easy as it sounds, but trust me when I say doing it pays off in spades. And the more you do it, the easier it gets. Hi, I'm Jenny Clark, a conscious leadership expert who spent two decades in executive recruiting and talent management, having worked with giants like Google and Spencer Stewart. I discovered that the secret to transformative leadership lies in the five dimensions of conscious leadership, and I'm here to help you unlock your full potential. Join me on this channel as we embark on an honest and vulnerable journey together to become the kind of leader that genuinely inspires transformation in your organization. I've got a little career-boosting secret for you. Do you want the inside scoop on leadership plus some juicy tips and hot takes you won't hear anywhere else? I've got a newsletter that's basically your personal career coach in your inbox. Just click the link in the description to join in. Oh, and if you're loving this content, I know you are, click that subscribe button. It's like giving me a virtual fist bump, ensuring you won't miss out on any future videos. So the workplace can be a challenging place to navigate. People often join an organization hoping and believing that it will be a safe, stimulating environment with smart, upstanding people carefully selected to do well in their respective fields with a common commitment to quality, integrity, and productivity. Okay, well, maybe not all that, but at least to get paid and to not have it suck. Remember, organizations are legal constructs made up of people. These people have foibles, proclivities, capabilities, histories, and agendas that don't always contribute to the healthy workplace you might have envisioned. Some people are to be embraced and respected. Others are friendly allies who can help you and whom you can help. Others are downright dangerous and to be avoided at all costs. But how do you know? Here are the elements that will help you determine if someone becomes part of your network. Is a passing acquaintance, an adversary, or something in between. Motive. What do you both want out of this relationship is often expressed explicitly like, I've seen you in a couple of team meetings, which group are you in? I'm new and would love to learn what you do and how our teams tend to interact. Or, I'd like to learn more about your industry or company as I'm contemplating a job move. Initially, you might not know what either of you wants or you might have an implicit, unexpressed reason for wanting to know each other. But over time, a motive, good, bad, or otherwise, will emerge. Authenticity. The ability to be your authentic self with someone is as important in professional relationships as it is in personal ones. You've been assigned to a project team and one of the members comes off as a know-it-all, tries to dominate and take the lead. Your antennae go up, as this can often be the behavior of someone with narcissistic tendencies or at least not being authentic or comfortable in their skin. Trust your instincts and steer clear. Trust. This element is fundamental to business and personal relationships. Your ability to keep one's confidence is as important as others keeping yours. You also wanna be able to trust someone to give you honest and objective opinions or insights and to be equally open to receiving the same from you. That's trust and it's something that is built over time. Reciprocity, not talked about enough. Relationships can't be one way. Remember the golden rule, do unto others and be considerate of people's time. Pay it forward and never assume you have nothing to give someone in return for their generosity. You do. Respect. My mother used to say, you don't have to like me, but you will respect me. In the workplace, respect is earned by doing your job well and demonstrating collaboration and integrity. Expect it from yourself and others. A lack of respect can be one of the first signs of a strained relationship. Sustainability. As in personal relationships, you must make an investment in professional relationships in order to sustain them. Enduring connections come from deliberately seeking regular contact, even when you don't need anything. Quick story, a friend, Ryan, recently asked me to connect him to a woman I'd known for at least 15 years and worked with when I have my own business. The first time. Ellen. But we hadn't spoken in seven or eight years. So Ryan was conducting a job search and wanted to learn about the company Ellen worked for. Not just if there were openings, he could have checked out on the company's website. He had formulated specific questions that he wanted to ask if given the opportunity. I reached out to Ellen through LinkedIn because I didn't have her updated contact information. She responded quickly and warmly, urging me to give her a call. I did, and we had a delightful 45-minute long conversation, catching each other up on our latest endeavors. I, of course, shared what my friend Ryan was hoping to learn from her. Ellen was more than happy to chat with Ryan and share her valuable insights. She even urged me to give her personal phone number to Ryan to facilitate the conversation. The point here is that Ellen and I always treated one another with respect, admiration, and transparency. The fact that we had fallen out of touch only had to do with the pace and complexity of our respective lives. We both tracked one another through LinkedIn to at least know of our most recent professional status. It was Ellen's generous spirit, and I dare say her recollection of mine, that made her so willing to share her information and knowledge with my friend Ryan. Do you see how that works? Now, don't forget to build relationships outside of your place of employment. Consider joining professional associations, employee resource groups inside, and leverage local chapters of your fraternity, sorority, or school alumni organization. Attend conferences related to your sector or function. Your employer will likely pay for these gatherings if they relate to your daily responsibilities. And while you're there attending, take notes and share them with your colleagues. Gather business cards, at least names, to be able to connect with people on LinkedIn. These are potential clients, colleagues, speakers, mentors, and list goes on. When you are building work-related relationships, there can be downsides to consider. Don't be too personal. It can blur professional boundaries and may lead to uncomfortable situations or conflicts of interest, including romantic entanglements. Building close relationships with a few inside of your organization can create perceptions of favoritism, which may alienate others and affect team morale. Be careful. Sharing too much personal information or engaging in office gossip can damage trust and lead to misunderstandings. And using relationships solely for personal gain without offering reciprocal value can damage trust and respect. Same for not setting clear boundaries, which can lead to unprofessional behavior and interfere with work responsibilities. These reminders may sound obvious, but especially for early career folks who haven't been schooled by elders, pay attention. Professionalism. Maintain a level of professionalism in all interactions because this ensures that relationships are based on mutual respect and business objectives. Feedback. I've said it before, be open to feedback and willing to adapt your approach based on the dynamics of the relationship and the workplace environment. Professional development. Use relationships as opportunities for learning and growth and seek mentors. Offer support and engage in meaningful professional development conversations for those you might manage and support. Conflict management. Address conflicts or disagreements directly and professionally. Avoid letting issues fester as unresolved conflicts can undermine relationships. Here's what I want you to take away. Cultivating professional relationships is essential to your career success. Doing so might not come easily for everyone, so find the approach that works best for you. Now, it might sound silly, but start by making eye contact with people at work and even on the street. Doesn't have to be creepy. Just look in someone's eyes as you approach one another. Offer a soft smile, at least with your eyes. They smile. And even show some teeth. The jester won't always be returned, but you're sending subtle positive energy that people usually appreciate. Not to mention that the world needs more of this energy right now. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and you'll find conversations that are much easier to start. Remember, we need one another, so put yourself out there a bit. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Please be sure to watch my video on the eight types of people who should be in your network. It's from the same chapter as this one, chapter six in my book, Career Mapping. See you soon. I get it. Taking that first step can feel daunting. I've been there too. But here's the thing. You've got strengths you might not even realize yet. I've put together a free career mapping framework to help you uncover those hidden talents and chart your own path forward. It's not about changing everything overnight. It's about starting to see your potential clearly. Ready to explore? The framework's waiting for you. Just click the link in the description. Your future self will thank you for taking this small but powerful step today.