Dog Name Theory | Michael Jr. #comedy #standup #laugh

So I have a theory about dog names. This is a theory. I'm not saying this theory is 100%, just letting you know it's a theory I have about dog names. We're going to check the theory right here in your city. We're going to just check the theory, I don't know for sure. So here's my theory. It seems like my white friends, when I talk about my white friends, I'm including the white people in this room. It seems like my white friends, most of the time, give their dogs human names. Black people, not so much. I could be wrong, I don't know, just find out. If you're a white person, you have a dog, raise your hand. If you're a white person with a dog, cool. I'd like to talk to this lady right here with a striped shirt on, blue jeans. Yeah, yeah. Can you give her the microphone? Cool. Yeah, she got a mic for you so everybody can hear you. What is your name? Angela. Angela, cool. First of all, Angela, what kind of dog do you have? She is a Shibu Inu. Shibu Indian. Okay, we're on the right track already. We're on the right track. We're on the right track. Yeah, that is not a black dog. That's not a black dog. And what is your dog's name? Haley. Thanks for playing along. Thanks for playing along. Thanks for playing along. I need another white person with a dog. I'm looking for another white person with a dog. Yes, you got to give her the mic. You can give her the microphone. Cool. Cool, and what is your name? Laurie. Laurie, and what kind of dog do you have? Well, I have a Border Terrier. Okay, cool. Where'd you, did you get him on the border? No, not quite. Your laugh is amazing, by the way. I just want to throw that out there, that little at the end. That's pretty awesome. Okay, and what is your dog's name? Caleb. Thanks for playing along. I need another white person with a dog. I'm looking for another white person with a dog. Another white person with a dog. There's a little girl with her hand up. Let me explain something to you. First of all, you don't have a dog. Yeah, your parents have a dog. You have a furry roommate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me ask you a question. How much does dog food cost? Oh, you don't know, do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know why? Because you don't got a dog. Cool, cool, cool. Looking for another white person with a dog. I'm going to go to this guy right here. Awesome, and what is your name, sir? Jim. Jim. Yes. People always talk about going to you. Do they show up? Mostly the out-of-shape ones, but anyway. I'm gonna do the jokes, man. You, let me see if I got this right. You came to the comedy show with your own jokes. You don't go to Starbucks with some coffee grounds in your pocket, do you? I just need sugar. I just need sugar. That's all I need. All right, Jim, what kind of dog do you have? A Weimer Runner. I'm sorry, what happened? You said, why am I running? Who are you, the police right now? I don't understand what just happened. That brother just broke down and said, why am I running? You're not running right now. We were just talking about people going to the gym. Maybe they need to run. I don't know what's going on with you right now. All right, and what kind of dog? You said it's a Weimer? A Weimer Runner. Okay, raise your hand if you know what a Weimer Runner is. Cool, cool. Look at the complexion of the hands right now. I just want to point that out. Did you see that? Did you see it? The whole room got brighter. Did you see it? Okay, okay, and what is your dog's name? Tobias Odendahl von Bern. Does your dog have a job or something? Your dog got a social security number, don't it? Let's check the other half of the theory. I need a black person with a dog. I need a black person with a dog. First of all, notice how many hands are not going up. I'm going to point that out real quick. Notice how many hands are not going up. Okay, cool, cool. I'm going to go with that sister right there. I'm going to go with that. Is that okay? Can y'all get her? Is it two? Right there. No, you got to keep your hand up. Yeah, with the stripes right there. Cool, cool, cool. Pass the mic down to her. You can tell this is completely unrehearsed. I just want to throw that out there. They would already have mics just jumped up. Hello. Cool, and what is your name? Jasmine. Jasmine. Where'd you get your dog from? My sister, she brought it home, and it looks like wishbone. So she brought the dog, so you didn't pay no money for the dog. That's the point, right? That's what I'm saying right there. Okay, okay. All right, and what kind of dog is it? What kind of dog is it? It looks like wishbone, so I don't know. I have no idea what you're talking about right now. What is your dog's name? Coco. That's what I'm talking about right there. That's what I'm saying right there. That's a black dog. That is a black dog. She don't know where it came from. She don't know what kind of dog it is. She just named it Coco. That is so awesome. All right, I'm gonna go with one more brother. I need a black person with a dog. I want a brother with a dog, a black person with a dog. Yeah, a brother right there. Right, right, you could, yeah, right, boom, there. Keep your hand up, keep your hand up. Yeah, what's your name? It's Brandon. Brandon, cool, cool. What kind of dog do you have, Brandon? I have a pit mix. Pit mix, that's what I'm talking about, a pit mutt. Okay, and what is your dog's name? Coco. When was the last time you saw your dog? She don't even know when she's seen that dog last. Did Coco look like a wishbone? Here's the thing, here's the thing. When you give your dog a human name like Marvin, you spend more money on the dog. You at the vet talking about some, man, it's like it's gonna be $2,000 to fix Marvin. $2,000 for Marvin? That's my buddy, man, no problem, here you go. Try this out. It's gonna be $1,500 for Peanut. $1,500 for a Peanut? Man, you can keep that Peanut, man. I'm gonna get me another Peanut somewhere else. I need that Peanut, man. It's just easier to let go. That was dope, so that stuff never gets old to me. So I was doing a joke one time, right, and I got to the part where I said I need a black person with a dog, right, and no black people in the whole room had a dog, like nobody for real. So I said, anybody used to have a dog? This brother raised his hand. I was like, what happened to your dog? He said he died. I was like, well, what happened? And for real, he said, he just woke up dead. What are you talking about right now? He just woke up dead.