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I'm Dr. Orion Terriban, and this is Psych Hacks, Better Living Through Psychology, and the topic of today's short talk is AI relationships. Anyone who has read my book, The Value of Others, knows that the final chapter, chapter 12, is devoted to a discussion on the future of relationships. In this chapter, I examine how the advent of new technologies will significantly disrupt the sexual marketplace, and I'm going to expand on that topic here today. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future. The future is now. Laugh if you want, but married or single, AI agents are soon going to be your most relevant intrasexual competition. They are not going away. They are here to stay, and we're going to see more and more of them in the coming years. Mark my words, by the end of this decade, relationships with AI companions will be fairly commonplace. That said, they won't be accepted right away. In my opinion, the public reception to this technology is going to be very similar to that relating to the advent of dating sites in the late 90s and early 2000s. If you were around back then, you'll recall that the conventional judgment with respect to those technologies was initially very negative. Like, dating sites were just for losers. People who, for whatever reason, couldn't meet other folks out in the real world. Users were often mocked by others, and the users themselves often felt ambivalent about their use, creating anonymous usernames and obscuring their identities. And yet, these technologies persisted. Fast forward 25 years, and now the majority of new married couples met on a dating app. A majority, more than 50%. Dating apps are not only tolerated, they are mainstream. And as problematic as these apps might be, all technologies constitute both potential benefits and potential liabilities. They aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Almost certainly, the same thing is going to happen with respect to AI companions. People will initially mock the early adopters, like severely. They are for losers. People who are so unattractive or undesirable that literally no other human being is willing to tolerate them. And while both men and women will use these technologies, albeit for different reasons, it's probably going to be the men who are shamed and targeted at this stage of the process. These men are pathetic, despicable, and almost beneath contempt. All right, but let's examine this a bit more carefully. Putting the caustic judgment to one side, maybe there's some truth to that. Maybe these people can't satisfy their needs, or certainly not all of their needs, in real-life relationships. That's a pretty common human problem. It's actually extremely rare for someone to feel like all their needs and wants are fulfilled in the context of their romantic relationships. So what we're actually talking about here is a matter of degree. Almost everyone is frustrated and unsatisfied to some extent in their relationships. So what are the options here? People can A. live with their unmet needs and suffer privately lives of quiet desperation. B. Use that unmet need as a catalyst for ending an otherwise satisfactory relationship in which other needs are met. C. Surrender the fulfillment of their desire as a hopeless pipe dream. D. Seek out, illicitly or otherwise, other human relationships to fulfill that need. Or now, E. Satisfy that need in a virtual relationship. Like, that pretty much runs the entire gamut of options in my opinion. And of those five options, which one is likely associated with the least amount of unnecessary suffering and or relational chaos? If you're interested in taking your understanding to the next level, I would encourage you to check out The Captain's Quarters, my members-only self-improvement community. Your monthly membership will get you access to a cadre of like-minded supportive individuals, bi-monthly group consultation sessions hosted by yours truly, and exclusive content that you won't find anywhere else. Click the link in the description for more information. Hope to see you aboard. Now, let's go one step further and concede that the reason why many people cannot get their needs and desires met in real-life relationships is because they lack the ability to do so. And here we see a stark double standard between, let's say, physical incapacity and emotional incapacity. For instance, there are obviously people who lack the ability to walk. Insisting that they should be able to walk or simply recommending that they go to physical therapy isn't going to change this reality. However, we have collectively invented a number of technologies — the wheelchair, the inclined ramp — that functionally enable these people to participate in society. The issue is that we typically don't levy moral judgments against those who can't walk, but we can't say the same thing for those who, say, can't attract a man or emotionally stimulate a woman. Now, people will argue that satisfying these needs in an artificial relationship will be inherently unfulfilling because AI isn't real, and that anyone who thinks otherwise must be delusional or lying to themselves. This seems like a fair critique, so let's consider this for a moment. First and foremost, we have to understand that most needs, especially outside of the basic biological or physiological needs associated with survival, are emotional — that is, psychological. And if a need is psychological, then it's for the mind to decide whether it's satisfied or not. Like, consider how frustrating it is when a partner doesn't recognize the satisfaction of a need. Many people don't see what they actually have, and many others actually see what they don't. But in both cases, whatever the mind tells them is true is what is going to be true within their subjective experience. Okay? My point is that since needs are not ontologically objective — that is, since needs exist in the minds of others — then you don't need an ontologically objective means, like a real person or a human relationship, to satisfy them. Now, you might argue, fair enough, Orion, but don't you think it would be more satisfying or fulfilling to get these needs met in a real human relationship than in a virtual interaction with an AI agent? And I would respond, probably. At least, like, at their highest expression. But that might not be true for some or even most cases. Think of it this way. Right now, the most common function to which chat GPT is currently being applied is the provision of emotional support. The most common function. And I'm pretty sure that's not what the designers intended, and I don't even think it's what the product is explicitly marketed to provide. However, people, organically in en masse, collectively decided that chat GPT can be used to provide emotional support. And emotional support is a need that, say, a therapist would traditionally fulfill, right? Now, is chat GPT better than an exceptional therapist? Almost certainly no. However, is it better than a mediocre therapist? Almost certainly yes. And how many mediocre therapists are there? Like, by definition, most people in any category are going to be mediocre. That is kind of average. See where this is going? Even if we concede that getting your emotional needs met in a relationship with a human being would be the most satisfying means of doing so, that would only be true at the highest levels. You'd need an exceptional relationship with an exceptional human being. And how many relationships are exceptional? And how many human beings, men and women, are exceptional? People don't like hearing this, but the vast majority of people are mediocre. That is kind of average, men and women. And I can absolutely see how getting emotional needs met in the context of a good virtual relationship might actually be more satisfying than getting them met in a mediocre human relationship, especially given the understanding that it's the mind that decides whether a need is satisfied or not. So those are my two cents on the topic. Love it or hate it, AI is here to stay. And mark my words, it will radically transform the landscape of the sexual marketplace, especially once it's married with immersive VR, which is already coming down the pipeline. So buckle your seatbelts. The only real choice that we have in the matter is how we decide to respond. What do you think? Does this fit with your own experience? Let me know in the comments below. And please send this episode to someone who you think might benefit from its message, because it's word of mouth referrals like this that really helped to make the channel grow. I know you know someone who's interested in this kind of stuff. Other value propositions, anyone looking to join my free weekly newsletter for which I write original content or book a paid one-on-one consultation with yours truly, can do so through my website. There's also my best-selling book, The Value of Others, in which I explore human relationships, and my paid member community, The Captain's Quarters, in which I host, among other things, bi-monthly group consultation calls. It's a great group, a lot of value provided. Check it out if you are so inclined. As always, I appreciate your support, and thank you for listening.