I Eat Pirate Food for 24-Hours

Ahoy ye scallywags! Welcome aboard me tasty galleon where we attempt to eat like a pirate of the Caribbean for 24 hours. There's no way I'm keeping up my pseudo Scottish pirate accent for this entire video but we are testing my childhood dream to see if I could survive with a life of swashbuckling. We're gonna find out how it goes as I attempt to cook a historically accurate breakfast, lunch, and dinner and even do a little bit of research at a nearby pirate dining attraction. Is it a pirate's life for me or will it shiver me timbers? Let's see! To start off my day I got to test whether I'm gonna lose a tooth or not with some hardtack, also known as sea biscuits. Who knew? I just thought sea biscuit was the name of a horse that you would bet on at races and whatnot but it's actually the super dehydrated bread that pirates, sailors, also soldiers would eat because it wouldn't go bad. This recipe is really basic. It's just some flour, water, and salt and we're gonna turn it into something slightly edible. So scrumptious. Pirates have been around for a very very long time in many different parts of the world but for the purposes of this video we are focusing on the golden age of piracy, which is around from the 1650s to 1730s and we're looking at the Caribbean because at that time it was considered the center of the pirate world. A lot of European powers like the Spanish, the British, the French, the Netherlands were all vying for control of the Caribbean because there were such good trade ports. So it sounded like piracy began because governors on those islands would hire local hunter buccaneers to take down the Spanish ships. I want to say the Spanish had a really strong navy at the time so the other countries were like, hey y'all, if you steal all their stuff you can keep a little bit of it. And those buccaneers found it so lucrative they just started doing it without the government sanction approval. This feels like play-doh, like I would give this to a child to play with. It's feeling reminiscent of the medieval peasant bread we made which was so hard. This is already not boding well for my life as a pirate. It's like you either make the hard tack or you walk the plank. I'm walking the plank. I flattened my hard tack. I am gonna cut it into little squares. Putting this aside on a ship every last bit would be eaten because you know they were starving the majority of the time because most food went bad really quickly. It was so hot on those ships that everything was getting maggoty or moldy. We're gonna dock these with a little chopstick and then we are gonna bake these for a very long time until there's no moisture left. Gotten my hard tack out of the oven. Just listen to this. Does that sound like something you want to be putting in your mouth? Luckily though, the pirates, they would hydrate it with some good old ale, some rum, some grog. So here's my hydration. Not alcoholic. I didn't fill out the forms to be able to drink alcohol on set today. Let's try this I guess. Thunk like the most cursed Oreo. It is so dry. Let me just... Wow. It kind of tastes like a pita bread that I left out for a very long time and then maybe someone stepped on it or something. Dang. I came to work hungry too. In terms of pirate fare, this isn't even as bad as it gets. There is documentation of Captain Henry Morgan cutting up and frying leather satchels so that his crew didn't starve. If I were to rate this first meal today, it honestly gets a two out of eight pieces of eight. I have much higher hopes for lunch, mostly because the standards aren't on the floor. I learned during my research for this video that turtles were actually a very popular source of protein for pirates in the Caribbean. They are plentiful. They are local. Tortoises, also in particular, stored very well on the ship. They're used to staying without food, without water, without dying and or spoiling. There are also lots of records of the recipe for turtle soup making its way to Europe from the Caribbean. It became a delicacy across Europe. I feel like it's also a good moment to acknowledge that before the Caribbean came known as, you know, the home place of the likes of Jack Sparrow, there were existing indigenous populations with a vibrant culture there. So now we get to enjoy and learn a little bit more about a recipe from the Caribbean. However, turtles are now considered endangered. It was so popular. So we're not actually using turtle for this turtle soup recipe. First off, we're going to render some fat off of some salt pork. Once these have gotten a little golden and release their fat, I'm going to take them out. But hold on to it. We're not throwing it away. I'm adding some onions and some garlic. This actually smells so good. And I already know it's from the locals that the European pirates learned that sea turtles were even a good source of protein that could be eaten and very tasty. They often would just roast it and salt it on ship. In with my onions, I'm adding some tomatoes, some allspice berries, some thyme, and a bay leaf. While this is cooking, I'm going to start seasoning my faux turtle. We can imagine that these chicken thighs are sea turtles that I roped and lassoed. Or don't, if that makes you sad. We've got some salt, some pepper, and I probably should have done this first, some lime juice. It's just going to wash off all the spices and seasoning I just put on. Anyways, I'm going to add back my salt pork and then my chicken faux turtle, my turtle. That sounds not good. Since I'm not trying to kill any European pirates, we're just doing one little scotch bonnet. And our recipe says to use coconut water. We're going to let this simmer for a little bit and come back when it's cooked. With my lunch today, I read that plantains are a common accompaniment with this stew. This is really just me hacking my way to get some fried plantains on set because I love plantains so much. We're going to use some coconut oil. Side note, this stuff is really good for your skin, makes your legs baby butt smooth. In case y'all came to Tasty for those kinds of tips. Yum! I'm so excited. I would have worn one of these tricorn hats, but I learned that it's not actually historically accurate. Folks were not wearing them because they would have blocked your view on a ship when there's a lot of swinging ropes or like a sail that could hit you in the head. Even these bandannas were not really common pirate accessories. It sounds like people would have worn scarves to soak up sweat. The bright colors though are attributed to Calico Jack, who is a famous pirate. He wore really like flamboyant colorful clothing and was also the only pirate known to have like female crew members, which is very interesting. Calico Jack is also credited with designing the iconic pirate flag that we see today, the Jolly Roger. I'm just going to salt these and then I think our chicken turtle stew should be ready. Y'all know after that measly little breakfast. I'm hungry, so I'm really excited to see our turtle stew. Whoa. It definitely got very fatty from the salt pork and the chicken skin. Oh, and I see the scotch bonnet. I was joking that this would kill a Victorian child. It would probably also kill me, so I'm not going to eat that whole thing. This looks and smells so good. I'm going to start by trying our soup. That's so flavorful. Very tomatoey. Heavy on the garlic, which I like, but it is really oily. I can feel it coating my lips. If you ever wondered dumb things like they didn't have chapstick, what would they do if their lips were really chapped? Do they actually use like lard or something? Oh, so tender. Falling off the bone. I'm going to try one of our plantains with this salt pork. That salt pork is so good. I'm going to start making this. I'm eating a lot of this because I predict this will be the yummiest meal that I have today, much thanks to the Caribbean influence. If I were to rate this out of pieces of eight, solid 7.2 pieces of eight. Okay team, it's grog o'clock. We're having our pirate happy hour because pirates would often be drinking alcohol to help pass the time. You know how boring it is on a ship? You can't even stay on an eight-hour flight without being on a device or a screen for the majority of the time. I'm projecting because that's me, but legitimately a lot of them were always drunk. So I learned that grog is a real thing. At the time for pirates, it was mostly just spiced rum, slightly sweetened. It sounded like sometimes they even would water it down, I guess if they had potable water. But now the term grog is very colloquially used. A lot of tiki bars and tiki drinks, y'all, actually originated in California. So that's a topic for a different video. But let's start with our embellished grog cocktail that you might actually want to make for yourself. Since I know not everyone really wants hard tack for their pirate themed party. We're adding ice in our beautiful little cocktail shaker that I stole from a rich person's ship. And this cocktail actually uses three different types of rum. It's dark rum, white rum, and demerara rum. Guys, this is the volume with just rum. This is crazy. We're sweetening it as the pirates do with some honey syrup. And then to add our little tropical twist, we have some lime juice and some grapefruit juice. Guys, this could go so terribly south. We're gonna shake her up. Wow, the amount of rum in this is truly gonna get any pirate so turnt on that ship. You're gonna fall off. For our serving glass, I obviously as a pirate would use something more like one of these bad boys. Thought this was way cuter. And we also learned that some pirates are documented to have been eating flamingos. So cheers to that. Time for our grog. We're topping it with some soda water and then our little pirate garnish. A golden piece of eight. The heart of Davy Jones is just an orange and maraschino cherry. Like I said, for legal reasons, this is actual alcohol. I cannot try it on camera, so I'm gonna have my friend test it. He says it's delicious and you should make it at home. I'm having a lot of fun right now trying both these historical as well as modern takes on pirate recipes. But I wanted to look around what is available for folks who love pirates but don't want to go through all this at home in their kitchen. And I found there's actually a pirate dining experience in the LA area. So I decided to go check it out and see how it holds up compared to my historical pirate food research. I had no idea we were in for a full night of musical numbers and acrobatics, so my timbers were shivered. The main event for me, of course, though, was the food. We started out very strong with the tomato soup, lots of garlic and onion. Honestly, not too dissimilar from my Caribbean turtle chicken soup. Entree, though, was much nicer than anything I'd have on a ship as a pirate with a full chicken leg, roasted veggies, and mashed potatoes. I do know they kept chickens on board as a protein source. It was very tender and juicy. 10 out of 10. But these veggies were probably something that would have had to been eaten at the beginning of a voyage due to the quick spoiling. They fed us very well, ending our meal with a German chocolate cake, which, though it was delicious, I don't think I would have found aboard a pirate ship considering German chocolate cake was invented in the 1950s in Dallas, Texas. No, not in Germany. That being said, chocolate was common plunder for pirates and I learned they were very partial to hot cocoa when it was available. All in all, I had a splendid time and was grateful for a much heartier meal than a typical pirate diet would normally allow for. As you can see, we have made it to dinner time. We are doing the iconic pirate feast, the spread of all the meats, the hard-boiled eggs, the pickled veggies that you imagine from the movies, and it's called Salamagundi. I had no idea that it had a particular name, but we're using a lot of seafood marinated in spiced wine before being roasted and spread out on some boiled cabbage. This is obviously a very luxurious pirate meal. This would be when you've come upon a lot of booty, like BBL-sized booty for your crew. Given our location, we did not get the specific spiny lobsters that would be native to the Caribbean, so we're all using our imagination here. We even got a little Dungeness crab, native to the Bay Area from my understanding. California represent. This is salt cod, something that would be seen on a pirate ship, and we have this freshly caught snapper. Reeled him up over the side of the ship this morning. Lastly, I have a little army of tiger prawns. These are really pretty. I didn't know that they had long legs like that. My hands smell crazy. So like I said, we're gonna marinate this. I got some spices and then some sherry. I'll be back in a little bit when this is cooked. Our dressing for the Salamagundi is very acidic, very vinegary. We got some pickled mustard seeds, some pickling liquid, olive oil, and salt, and that's it. This does not look super yummy, I'm not gonna lie. Okay crew, we have our haul. We have our booty. You ready? This is so much food. First thing that needs to happen, I'm going to arrange some boiled cabbage. Low-key, this is like the OG charcuterie board. This is the OG board trend. Remember people were doing like butter boards? Pirates were like, uh-uh, cabbage board. Crab and lobster in the center. Oh, this is hot. I gotta grab my fish. Wow. They're mad at me for taking their lives. I'm so sorry. Thank you for your sacrifice. So I'm getting a lot of the scents of the spices we use, like some cinnamon, cloves. Those are spices that I normally use on pie. Amongst our seafood, we do get to have some veggies, some pickled veggies in particular. Having even pickled veggies were definitely like prized possessions, I feel like, on the ship. So they'd be the first things to be eaten and also the first things to run out. Boiled eggs were also apparently a popular ingredient on Salamagundi. For protein maxing in maybe the worst way, we have some sardines. These are canned. They probably would have been pickled fish or salted fish. And to finish this off, things like fresh grapes and our delicious looking mango would have been the few food items that would help stave off scurvy, which is a very classically known pirate disease, which is a deficit of vitamin C. And apparently some of the first signs of scurvy are your gums becoming inflamed and then teeth falling out, which is maybe why pirates are known for not having many teeth. I also learned somewhat recently they found scurvy on college campuses. Kids these days are not eating enough fruit and vegetables to not get scurvy. Isn't that crazy? It is giving seafood boil, but cursed. The finishing touch for our Salamagundi. Oh, our stinky vinegary dressing. This looks like something out of a movie. That was probably one of my favorite parts preparing for this video was to learn what was fact and what was fiction. For example, Blackbeard. I didn't know that was a real person, but he was one of the most feared pirates in all the land. They do also have records of his defeat by a naval officer, and that epic battle was probably what inspired scenes like the Pirates of the Caribbean with grand ship versus ship altercations. I'm tasting all kinds of things, you guys. There's the vinegary-ness from the dressing, but also like the cinnamon and spices. Oh, wow. I'm gonna have a little egg to wash it down. Man, even the eggs are starting to smell crazy to me. I swear I'm not even picking easier. This is just giving me sensory overload right now. I kind of want something fresh. Let me eat a piece of pickled pepper. Do I look like a little rat eating all this with my hand? I kind of feel like Gollum going into this fish. That's actually really delightful. If you wanted to have a little pirate-themed potluck or something, everyone could bring a piece of the Salamagundi and just eat with your fingers together. Kind of giving pirate girl dinner, not gonna lie. Pirates probably didn't have crab crackers, but I bet they had a good mallet. So easy. So good. I'm starting to get full. I'm just gonna have a little piece of mango as my sweet treat after dinner. As wild as this dish is, I think this gets six out of eight pieces of eight from me. My dreams of being a hot, gorgeous Elizabeth Swann dashed. It's okay. I don't need to marry a pirate. You let me know though, based off of what we made today, do you think you would survive as a pirate? I don't know. You better really like some Salamagundi. But thank you guys so much for watching. Let me know who you'd like to see me eat like next. We were inspired to make this episode because one of you commented, so we're reading, we're paying attention, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye!