The Great Lock In 2025 | how to change your life in 90 day

When are you going to fall out of love with your potential? The one that you're obsessed with. The woman that does all the things that you know you have the potential to do. The woman that makes all the money that you know you can make. The woman that has the body that you know you can have. If all you did was lock in, you're literally obsessed with her. You're obsessed with that potential. That if you just did the right things and you stay consistent, you could just achieve that life. Well, when are you going to finally lock in and do the necessary things to get that? When are you going to fall out of love with your potential and fall in love with the person that is doing the things to achieve the things that we both know you can achieve and we both know you can do? So in this video, I want to talk to you about that. Whether you want to call it the great lock-in, the unbreakable 90, I'm going to teach you how to change your life in 90 days. Because we both know you can do it. We both know you have potential. We both know that you have the possibility of having this future. But we also both know that you aren't willing to lock in. So in this video, I'm going to give you the framework to do it. So you no longer can say, I can't wait to be that person. And you can finally say, I am her. Now for this 90 day challenge, we are going to break it into essentially three phases. And we're going to break it into 30 day chunks. So there's different things and different categories. I want you to focus on during each phase. And they're going to build upon each other. So eventually everything will run smoothly. So the first one through 30 days, the first phase is called breaking patterns. Now I know a lot of people are like, what are the steps I have to do? And what are the things that I have to do to get to where I want to be? And all these things. I get that. But you have to realize you are stuck in a loop. You are stuck in a pattern. Because if you were not stuck in that loop, if you were not stuck in that pattern, you would have achieved the things and you've already been that woman. So you need to realize there's a certain level of awareness that you need to figure out. There's a certain level of pattern breaking that you need to do so that you actually can not only say you want to do these things, but commit to these things. And so the first step of this phase, we are going to call this the awareness audit. I need you to start becoming aware of not only what you're doing, but why you are doing those things. Because if you are not aware, you're literally shooting in the dark. You don't know why you're doing this thing because it sounds good, because it looks good. I don't really know what to do. And then you wonder why you can't commit to it. Because first and foremost, you weren't aware of why you were doing this thing. But also, you weren't aware of the person doing this thing. Sometimes we mess up because we think that we're always going to think from the person that we want to be from that perspective. So you're thinking, once I decide I want to make this choice and commit to this thing, I'm going to think like the person who already has the body. I'm going to think like the person who already has the business. I'm going to... No, you're not. You haven't achieved that thing. So you're still building those building blocks. You're still thinking like the person that wants to do that thing. So you have to figure out how to stop thinking like that. And you can't do that until you're aware. So the first thing I want you to do is the first step of this awareness audit. We are going to do something called decision checks. We need to start becoming more aware of the decisions that we are making and essentially asking ourselves, are the major decisions that we're making getting us closer or farther away from the person that we want to be? Because a lot of times too, we may be like, well, I don't know why I'm not there yet. And I don't know. And you haven't looked at because every decision that you make is pushing you into a different direction. But you don't realize that because you're not aware. So I want you to think about the last three major decisions that you have made. And that could have been in a year time span. That could have been in a three year time span, five year time span. It depends on the individual. When you're thinking about these things, I want you to think about things that you spent a lot of chunk of money on or a lot of chunk of time and or energy. So this may look like you having a baby. This may look like you getting a new car. This may look like you getting a new place. I want you to ask yourself and take out emotion. Let's just be completely kind of, I hate to say, but emotionless and really ask ourselves, did this decision get us closer or farther? For example, having a baby. Some people may have had a baby recently or that might've been one of the big decisions they made. Ask yourself, take out emotion, not saying you don't love your child, not saying you regret your child. Were you financially stable enough to have this baby? Were you in a place, in a space where having this baby did not take away from any major decision that you wanted to make? Ask yourself, did having this baby cause you to say, oh, now I can't use this money to move. Now I can't use this money to get a degree. My car messed up. Now I can't even use this money to get a new car or maybe not money for a degree. Let's say time. I can't even go back to school when I wanted to. Just be honest with yourself. That's a major decision. And like I said, not saying you regret it, but just be honest. I'm a product of getting farther away from your goals. My mother got pregnant me in her freshman year of college. A four year degree turned into like a seven year degree. Now don't get me wrong. My mother does not regret me. I'm one of the best things that ever happened to her. Ask her yourself. But nonetheless, it got her farther away from the dream life she had for herself. Getting a new car. Let's just be completely honest. Did you have to get the year car that you got? Maybe you did need a new car. Not saying you didn't. But getting that nice car puts you in a position where now you don't really got money to do too much other stuff. You pay so much in car note. You pay so much in car insurance that now you don't feel like you have the time. Now you got to get another job to keep up with the car payments. Now you be honest with yourself. But there are also positive things. Also, I don't want to make it seem so negative. Maybe you're like, I want to go back to school. That is a major decision. That's going to take a lot of time, a lot of money as well. But just really be honest with yourself and ask yourself. And like I said, take emotion out of it. Because we can always ration with ourselves. Oh, because I did that. But just ask yourself, did this thing take you closer or farther? Another thing is too, people don't talk enough about being house poor. There's so many people you see living in these nice apartments and these nice places, high rise condos. They can't afford to eat out. They can't afford to get their hair done. Can't afford to get their nails done. They can't even afford to experience life. All they can afford is rent, okay? And you have to ask yourself, did this get me closer or farther away from the life that I wanted for myself? But think about the three major choices that you made. And so that can start making you more aware of, are the things I'm doing in my life helping me get to where I want to be? Or have I consistently been making choices that have been getting me farther? And it's not for you to be down to yourself. It's like, I'm a horrible person or even I'm a great person. It's just being aware. The next one, we need to start doing an energy audit. You need to realize you need energy to make major decisions and major choices. And you also need energy when you are in a new playing field, right? You want to become this new person, this new woman. You're going to have new responsibilities. You're going to have new requirements. There's so many things that's going to come your way that you're not used to that you're going to have to be ready for. And if you do not have the energy to even attempt these things or go at these things, you're never going to achieve them. So you need to figure out what pours in. And let me make a list when I say figure out what pours into your cup and what pours out of your cup. What fills you up and what drains you. Because a lot of times too, I have realized once I became aware of the things that drained me and the things that poured into me, I have a better idea of how my week is going to go. I'm now aware of, hey, if I listen to a certain kind of podcast four days in a row and I eat certain stuff and I'm going to have a bad week, I'm not going to have the energy to get up and go to the gym. I'm not even sometimes going to have the energy to record content. Like that's just, that is what it is. These things are draining me. And like I said, it's not about judging yourself. It's about becoming aware. Now I know things that pour into me. So even sometimes too, and like I try to live my life when I'm 80, 20. I am not perfect. But Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I might say pour and pour and pour and doing things that pour into me. Thursday, I might have a draining day, might do some things that drained out of me. But I am aware of that. So Friday, Saturday come, I do things that pour into me. And it's about keeping this regulation and just being aware and not being in a place in the space of like, why is this happening to me? And why am I not achieving my life? You know why. And the third one of this section is an attention audit. This one is so important as well, especially when it comes to social media. But think about the two to three major things that you think about or you spend most of your attention doing throughout the day. And going back to the first one, ask yourself, is this getting you closer or farther away from your goals? One of the things I think a lot of people don't realize that keeps them stuck is doing things that don't pour into you or doing things that essentially take your energy away, take your attention away from the person that you want to be. And sometimes this can happen even with friend groups, right? Maybe you're like, oh, well, this person does all this crazy stuff, but I don't do this stuff with her. Or this person or even environments you're in. Hey, this isn't really the best environment for me, but it don't really affect me like that. But we don't realize you're constantly thinking about this person and their situation. You're constantly thinking about so many other things that have nothing to do with the woman that you want to be. So you need to start becoming aware of where is the majority, the top two to three things that you're constantly thinking about. You're constantly giving energy to, because I'm at a point in my life where things that keep me stuck are just as bad as the things that pull me down because they keep me stagnant. But life is going to keep moving. So if I'm staying stuck, worried about somebody else situation or worried about something that got nothing to do with me or worried about something that's not pouring into me and I'm giving so much attention to, I used to wake up in the morning thinking about other people problems. I had to realize, wait, this thing don't affect you. This thing don't pour into you. Stop giving attention to it because you can't give attention to the things that are pushing you up if you're constantly giving attention to the things that are keeping you stagnant or pulling you down. Step two is the senses detox. I think we don't really take into account how much our senses affect us. What we see, what we hear, what we feel and how that has an effect on how we do things in life. So first, we're going to start out with what you see. This can be on social media. This can be in your environment. And one thing people often like to say a lot is social media is not real. And I know social media is not real. Let me tell you something. If you are viewing BS all day, if you are watching BS on your timeline all day or on TV, it is real to you. I know a lot of people want to think that they're the exception to the rule and that they can watch all this BS and it's not going to affect them. It is. So you need to be aware of what you are putting inside of your vision. What you are viewing. Like I said, I'm not saying that you have to be perfect. But at the same time too, ask yourself, am I seeing a lot of BS? Do I need to detox my For You page? Do I need to detox some of the TV shows that I'm watching? Going off of that, what you hear. Ask yourself, am I listening to a lot of toxic conversations? Am I listening to just a lot of BS? The problem a lot of people also don't realize is you may start to emulate a lot of this toxic behavior that you're hearing and you're seeing and also think that it's normal. It could be your best friend or one of your close friends. Her or her boyfriend always going at it. You always hearing a conversation. You always need to detox that. You need to tell her, hey, we can hang out at my house. Or hey, we can hang out here and there. You don't need to be hearing them toxic conversations because what's going to happen is you're going to get into relationships and you're going to think that that is okay. Or you're going to get into relationships and you're going to reproduce that. And it is not because that you always even thought it was okay. You might have been aware that it was wrong and it wasn't even on purpose. It's just because you're constantly hearing this stuff. And so also with the music that you're listening to, reiterate again, I am no goody two shoes, right? But at the same time to ask yourself, how is this music making me feel? And it's to each his own because for example, me, right? One of my favorite artists is Jeezy. I grew up as a kid in the South. I love me some Jeezy. Now, don't get me wrong. Jeezy talks about doing some extracurricular activities, but he makes, in my opinion, hustler music. And there are some people that can listen to Jeezy and be like, I can't listen to this. This puts me in a bad mood or selling bricks at my auntie's house and like, you know, all this other stuff. For me, I think of it just as a hustler. That was his hustle. What he was doing, my hustle was his content. My hustle was building my brand. And so sometimes too, it's like, that's what I need to hear. But that's why I wanted to give that example because it's based upon you. You are creating your own awareness. You are figuring out what do you need to detox? Don't let nobody tell you, oh, get rid of this, get rid of that. Ask yourself, how does this thing make you feel when you're hearing these things, right? Does this make you feel good or does this make you feel like, I don't want to emulate this. I don't want to, and sometimes too, ask yourself that. Would I want to emulate this behavior that I'm hearing? Would I want to, maybe you take the bus and you always hearing crazy. I'm not saying to put both headphones in, be aware of your surroundings, but maybe they be talking crazy, cussing all this other stuff. You put a headphone in on one ear and you listen to a podcast or you listen to something that's pouring into your cup. So you're not even worried about that going on. And the last one is, what do you feel? And this can be as far as how things make you feel, but then also this can be literally your touch and your feeling. One thing I always say is, dress to your body type. This is no shade to anybody that's ever gotten their body done. So I just want to say this, but I think now there is this fat, and I think we're kind of getting out of it a little bit, but for a while there was like the BBL fashion and all this other stuff. It's nothing wrong if you got your body done. I don't want to discredit those girls or individuals, but at the same time too, I think a lot of people started dressing like people got their body done. And I want you to understand when you get your body done, like your body becomes an accessory. So maybe they're wearing tight, thick clothes and stuff like this to show off the body that they paid for. That is perfectly fine. Or some people, they just have a certain kind of body type that's like the Coca-Cola body, and that's just how they naturally are to go to the gym. Nonetheless, that is not for everyone. And you need to also ask yourself, are the clothes I'm wearing me trying to display something that I'm not? Do these clothes make me feel comfortable? Like, am I confident in the clothes that I'm wearing? I had to dress for my body type. How does your clothing make you feel? Do you feel confident? Do you feel, or are you trying to dress like the body you wish that you could have? Another thing too, literally, how do things make you feel? This is so random, but and this is also why it's imperative for you to detox certain things because they become normal. For a while, I had this bed set that I had really for too long. I had the bed set for like three, four years. And if you've ever had a bed hit for too long, you wash it too much. You start getting like these little cotton beads or whatever. And they sometimes used to irritate me, but I was so used to forcing myself to be in situations that I knew I didn't like, but I just made okay. And I know some people may say, how does that work with the bed set? Trust me, when you're so used to just sticking it out and going through it, that's what you do with everything. I should have bought a new bed set. I should have, but part of me was like, this is just what it is. Like, it's not that serious. I will flip it the right side up, left side back, whatever, whatever, whatever. And it didn't make me feel good. And even I should have detoxed it. I should have, because when I got into my bed, the place where I'm supposed to feel calm, the place where I'm supposed to feel good, I didn't feel good. And so it's little things like that. Like, how do things make you feel? But then how do things literally feel? And detox the things out of your life, because you don't realize how that becomes a norm for you. You become a norm of dealing with things that aren't good for you. It becomes a norm with dealing with things that you don't like, that aren't good for you, all these other things, simply because you will not bring yourself to detox and get rid of these things. And step three with this is just essentially experimenting with small shifts. So this is something such as experimenting with morning routines and night routines. One thing I often say is your morning dictates your day and your night dictates your morning. So they fall into each other. When you're having a good morning, that sets up your perspective for the day. And when you're having a bad morning, that sets up your perspective for the day. And when you get enough sleep, when you get good sleep, when you get deep sleep, quality sleep, it helps you wake up with more energy. It helps you wake up with a better perspective. It helps you, i.e. conquer the day. So I would recommend to test out no more than two, maybe three different morning routines. Please do not have 50,000 steps, but this may look like you testing out what time you want to wake up. Maybe you're going to try a 10 to 6. Maybe you're 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. Maybe you're going to try out 11 to 7. Maybe you're just going to try out different things. Also, what do you do when you wake up? We're going to figure out, are you a gym girly? Are you going to go to the gym? Or you're like, I need something a little bit more organized. I think I want to do bar or Lagree or Pilates or yoga or something like that. Then how are you ending your night? Am I getting off my phone 30 minutes before I go to sleep? An hour before I go to sleep? Am I reading? Am I doing a puzzle like just figuring out and also going into? That's why you have the list of what pours into you. Also, you can be like every night I want to end it with something that pours into me. So even if I am having a long day and a stressful day, I have something that can make me know at the end of the day, I'm going to end it on a good note. And so definitely test that out. Next for two weeks, test out getting rid of one to two things that are draining your energy. You need to start getting into a routine of letting go, cutting off the dead skin, cutting off the things that are not helping you thrive. And I say one to two things for two weeks because I don't want you to get so into. I got to cut off this. I got to cut up this person. I can't go for drinks no more. I can't talk to nobody. Don't do too much because that's how you become overwhelmed. Just do one to two things for two weeks. This is a 30 day process. So that means you can get between two to four things that you are cutting out. And it does not sound like a lot, but I promise you, especially if you sometimes put them in categories, as far as what's most draining to least draining, you'll see how even cutting out some of the smallest things can give you more energy and just put you in a better perspective. And the whole idea for this 30 days is for you to test out things. It is for you to experiment. It's for you to figure out what works for me and doesn't work for me. It is not for you to find perfection. It is for you to find yourself. Now, I know some individuals might hear all this and be like, yeah, but I get it. Like, but you didn't tell me like, so what's the action steps? Like what was the, you know, workouts I'm gonna do with first 30 days, 30 days of doing nothing. We often think that because we can't see how mentally strength helps us. But I would give you guys a case study so you can understand you're not the exception to the rule. Because we always think that we always think, yeah, I know for other people, they need to like cut out stuff, whatever, whatever, I'm fine. I could cut out everything one day. I'm, oh, I don't need to cut out nothing. I'm perfectly fine. Let me give you a case study so you understand why it is imperative for you to become aware of what's holding you down, what's pulling you up and how you need to get rid of it before you try to build your dream life. So there is a fascinating study from the late 90s where researchers wanted to see if exercise could actually help people quit smoking. They thought if people start working out, they'll feel healthier and naturally want to smoke less. So they ran a trial with women who smoked. One group joined a structured exercise program and the other didn't. At first, it looked promising. The women who exercised were more likely to quit smoking than those who didn't. But here's what the researchers noticed. The women who tried to keep smoking while also adding exercise really struggled. The smoking cues like lighting up after a meal or during stress were so strong that the exercise routine couldn't fully stick. The women who succeeded long term were those who managed to break the smoking habit first. Once the old loop was weakened, the exercise routine had space to become part of your new identity. So I want to end phase one with you understanding that you do not have space. There's but so much working memory that you have. There's but so much space, time and energy you have to pour into the new you. You do not have space to become the new you until you get rid of the old you. What's holding you down and what's holding you back. So the first one to 30 days, we are going to call that the breaking pattern phase. And trust me, it is necessary. So I hope that you are taking notes. But at the end, I will give you guys the link to a worksheet. So you can literally fill out all this yourself on a PDF form. Now we are going to get into phase two, the next 31 through 60 days. And we are going to call this the identity affirming stage. You need to figure out the specific identity that you want for yourself. I want you to understand there's a difference between a fantasy life and identity. A lot of individuals tell themselves that they want a certain thing and they want to be a certain kind of person. But until you become concrete on that, you're never going to actually get that life. And I'm going to give you guys essentially a roadmap and showing you why. You know who you want to be. Essentially, you think you know the dreams, aspirations you have, but it seems like for some reason you just never get there. Now, here's a visual I created to show you that there is a difference between having a fantasy life, a dream life, and then creating an identity for yourself. And I want to show you why your fantasy life, the dream life, the dream woman that you want to be is possibly the reason why you feel stuck in life and you actually have not become her. So the problem is a lot of people have a fantasy life. They think, oh, I want to make more money. Oh, I want to get my body together. Oh, I want to do all these illustrious things. But you do not realize you have not decided to pick exactly who you wanted to be, i.e. you have not picked your identity. And so you often wonder, why do I have a failure to commit? I know I want to get my body together, but it's like I can't figure out how to get my body together. I know I want to make more money, but it's like I can't figure out how I want to make more money. It is because it is all a fantasy. You have not said, I want to pick a specific way I'm going to achieve this thing because you have the fear of cutting out possibilities. It's kind of like the fear of missing out, FOMO. You tell yourself, I want to make more money, but there's multiple ways to make more money. You can go back to school and become a lawyer. You can become a real estate agent. You can even become a content creator. But if you keep telling yourself, I want to make more money, you're never going to actually pick one because you're going to have FOMO because you're always going to say, but what if I become a content creator? And then there's a spike in real estate. Or what if I decide to become a real estate agent? And then there's a spike in lawyers and lawyers are making all this money. So you never actually commit to anything because you have a fear of cutting out the other possibilities. You have this fear of feeling like, I don't want to miss out on this other life because you're stuck in a fantasy life. You haven't picked a specific kind of identity, a specific kind of person you want to be. So a problem with this is, this fear leads to cutting off possibilities because you're like, I don't want to pick the wrong thing. I don't want to pick the wrong life. So this leads you to something called the perpetual loading zone. And a lot of times, this is what I would think to be your potential. You are literally stuck. Think of yourself being stuck at a bus stop and all these buses are going by and you know you want to leave that bus stop. You don't want to be there no more, but you're like, I don't know what bus to pick. Should I go on this bus? It's going to Main Street. Should I go on this bus? It's going to Granby Street. Should I go on this bus? It's going to Newberry Street. You're so afraid of getting on the wrong bus that you stay at the bus stop, but you sit there and complain, I don't want to be at this bus stop. And I know if I leave this bus stop, there's so many different things out there, but you're afraid of cutting out possibilities because you know if you pick that bus going to Main Street, you can't go on the bus going to Granby Street or going to Newberry Street. But the problem is you don't realize you already are forced into a choice. Even if you decide to not make a choice yourself, life is going to go on. And as you become an Adele, we have choices to make. You're going to have to get a job because you're going to have stuff to pay for. Eventually, that young and lively spirit that you got is going to start to diminish a little bit because your health is not going to be as good. So eventually, you're going to have to start taking medicine. Eventually, you're going to have to start working a job that you really don't like. Why? Because life goes on. So regardless if you make the choice or not, or the world make the choice for you, you're going to be forced into a choice. This leads to you half-assing it. You half-ass your job. You half-ass a lot of your life, honestly. You feel very unfulfilled. You feel very unhappy. And you really don't do things to the best of your potential. Why? Because you're like, ugh, I don't want to be on this bus. I really didn't want to be on this bus. This bus stinks. This bus is this. This bus is that. But you had to get on the bus. You had to leave the bus stop. You were forced to make a choice. You were just afraid to cut off the possibilities of making the wrong choice that you let the world and you let society make the choice for you. And you get so sometimes depressed because this is less than the fantasy. That fantasy, right? That potential to have your body together, to live in a different city, to make more money. You know you want to live in a different city. You just can't pick what city. You know you want to make more money. You just can't pick which way you want to make more money because you're afraid of cutting off other possibilities. You're afraid of making the wrong choice. And this leads you to long for your fantasy. So this looks different for different people. Sometimes this causes people to do things that literally make them stop thinking about the life that they missed out on. So maybe sometimes people use things to essentially inebriate them. Maybe they're drinking, smoking, using different things like that. There are some people who do something called maladaptive daydreaming, which they daydream about their fantasy life all day and all night. And I actually have a video on my page about that. If you type in daydreaming, you can find it about how to deal with that. But essentially you long for your fantasy life. You long for going back to what I said in the beginning, you fall in love with your potential. I know if I just commit it. I know if I just did this thing, I can change. Even though you have a failure to commit. Now this leads to no initiation of activity. You long for a fantasy life so much. You fall in love, if not obsessed with your potential so much so that you never actually do anything because it will get you out of that potential. Because potential is what you do before you do the thing. So as long as you have something to look forward to, as long as you have this mindset of, if I just commit, if I just stay consistent, I know I can do this thing. I know I can do that thing. It makes you feel good. You become obsessed with it even, but you cannot have potential in action. So you have no initiation of activity. You literally do nothing to change your life. The only action steps you take are the ones, going back to here, that you're forced into. You work a regular job. You do when your doctor tells you that you need to start taking supplements or medicine. That's when you take it, right? You don't do anything before. When you're forced out of your mom's house, that's when you have to move. You wait until life forces you. Now the no initiation of activity leads to procrastination. You keep procrastinating. I'll do it later. I have to wait for the perfect time and the perfect moment. And that's when it's going to be perfect because you're longing for that fantasy. And in your fantasy life, everything is perfect. You have the perfect body. You have the perfect, and you fall so in love with that potential that you have a fear of losing it. So you procrastinate. You say, I'm going to wait until I make a certain amount of money. I'm going to wait until I have a certain kind of job to start doing action steps. And you don't realize this procrastination leads you right back here into the perpetual loading zone. The decision of which one should I make? Should I go this way? Should I do that thing? And you're waiting, waiting, waiting until you're forced into a choice. And you don't even notice that you've been stuck in this cycle for so long. Every so often you do feel like maybe I should go back to school. Maybe I should start this business. Maybe I should, but you never do it. You stay in that loading zone until you're forced into a choice. Most people don't get another job until their job fires them. Most people don't start going and worrying about their health until their doctor tells them they have to. There's a lot of people who literally only left their town or their city because there was a natural disaster or something crazy happened. Even though for a long time they were saying, I need to leave. I want to leave. And it's all because you're stuck in this fantasy life. And that's why it's so imperative for you to pick the specific identity that you want and commit to that. That's why it's imperative for you to understand once I decide to stick to this life and commit to this life, I have to cut off the other options. And don't get me wrong, as life goes on, you can change and different things like that, but you have to make a decision and you have to make that decision without the longing for something else. Oh, I could make more money doing this. You can. There's always more fish in the sea. That's the problem. But you need to understand if you don't pick a fish, you're always just going to say, there's so many fish in the sea. There's so many fish in the sea. You haven't picked one yet. Well, because maybe if I, I could pick a catfish. Oh, well, I can pick a flounder. Oh, well, I can pick a red snapper. You haven't decided to pick one because you're so afraid of making the wrong decision that you haven't noticed that you haven't made any decision yet. And that is why you're stuck. And so I wanted to show you guys this framework. I did not create it myself. I actually got it from Dr. K, but I felt like this would be really good to show you guys why it's imperative that you have to literally be able to imagine your dream life. You have to be able to say, this is what it looks like for me. This is where I'm working. This is what I'm doing. This is how I stay healthy. This is how I stay active. Pick it for you because there's going to be so many choices out there. There's going to be so many options out there for you. And if you keep living in that fantasy and not getting specific on what you want and who you want to be, you're never going to become anything or you're just going to become what society wants you to be. So you can pick. Now we are going to get into step two of this. You need to define your identity labels. So there is a few prompts that I want you to ask yourself to start figuring out who specifically do you want to be? What is the life you want to have for yourself? And what is the identity that you want to create? So the first one is being honest with yourself. Where do you feel you should be in life right now? I think a lot of people always say, going back to the whole roadmap, I should be making more money and I should be. Where do you think? Because there's a separation a lot of times too in where you currently are and where you think you should be. And a lot of times too, that's why people aren't happy. Happiness is essentially an equation for it is when your expectations meet reality, when you expect something to be a certain way and it is that certain way, you're usually happy, you're usually content. So if you are not happy with your life, it is probably because you think you should be living a different life right now that you're not living. But the problem is oftentimes we never actually knew what that life was. So I want you to write down for yourself, where do I think I should be in life right now? Where do I think I should be living? Where do I think I should be working? How much money do I think I should be making? And it's not saying that's a specific life you should have because maybe you thought about that life when you were 18 and now you're 30. Maybe you thought about that life when you were 16, now you're 25. But just be honest with yourself. You're probably unhappy because you don't think you should be here. But where do you honestly think you should be? The next one is, what is your superpower in life? I had to realize it was so hard for me to find my identity because I thought of myself as just being another fish in the sea. I thought of myself as just being just like everyone else and I did not know what my superpower was. Like, what is the thing that made me different? And it took years to find it. I'm gonna be completely honest with you, but it took intention. And it took me a lot less time when I realized I had a superpower. I think so many people think, oh, I'm just normal. I'm just like everybody else. I'm just, there's something about you. Ooh, I don't know why I said it like that. There's something about you that is different. There's something about you and you may not know what it is, maybe you do. But I think you should try to find that. For me, I realized my superpower was my ability to intake information and connect different things that don't necessarily correlate and then explain it to people. I know that was probably a horrible explanation, even though I just said I'm good at that. But I think, I think my channel, hopefully it speaks for itself. I'm good at making complex ideas and complex topics simple. Like, that's what I really enjoy doing. Things that are like, well, that doesn't make any sense and then making them simple and achievable. And that's just what I really like to do. And I really like researching information. I, I mean, you may even say I'm nosy a bit, you know? But this was something, and I've talked about this on my channel before, I was chastised for as a child. I used to get in trouble in school all the time, on my private report, on my report card. It always said she talked too much. She distracts other students. I would get my work done, but I love talking. I can, and literally, I'm one of them kids, you can't put me in a certain area. You know how sometimes certain kids, you put them in a certain place in class and it's like, they're talking in this friend group, you put them over here. I will literally talk to everybody. I can make conversation. I can make everybody laugh. I could, you can't put me nowhere. You better put me outside the classroom, okay? Nonetheless, I had to figure out that was my superpower. And then it helped me build my identity because I learned how to use it. So you need to figure out what is your superpower? What makes you different from your friends? What makes you different from your siblings, your family, your coworkers? Because for so long, you probably felt normal. You probably felt the same. And so you need to figure out what is that for you. And the final one is, imagine that you're journaling four years from now on a Sunday night and you have achieved your dream identity. You are your dream woman. How will you talk about your week? What are some of the things that you did? What are some of the things that you experienced? This is often called life scripting. When you are writing a journal entry as if you are already the individual that you want to become. And I think this is important too because this is going to cause you to have to be specific. You can't just say, oh, I make a lot of money and I, no, what kind of car do you drive? Where do you live? Write as if this is a journal. You can even date it. I recommend to even date it and literally put yourself four years from now. We're in 2025, put yourself in 2029. Write a journal entry of how your week went. What did you do? If you achieved anything, if you, even sometimes too, you want to be honest, what are some problems that you had? Because if you, once you get the big, what do they say? More money, more problems. Okay. Maybe you might be like, oh, my G wagon tire popped. I know that's random, but like you could even write that. I'm so thankful, but I'm so thankful. I have the money to pay for it. And I was able to get it fixed the same day. Like however you want your life to be. But I want you to ask yourself these three questions, these three journal prompts, because I want you to figure out the identity you want to have, not just the fantasy life that you've been imagining. Now, step three, we are going to think about self-expression. So I want you to write down, what are some hobbies that you want to have? And this is not in any correlation to anything that you want to achieve. And if you don't have any hobbies specifically, that's fine. But some hobbies you want to have. And during this process, we are going to try these hobbies out. But just think of things you want to try. Think of things you may have liked from childhood. Think of things you may possibly talk about with friends. And the reason why this is important is because it's going to get you to build your identity because we're going to try these things and we're going to see, do we actually like these things? We're going to get out of the potential phase. We're going to get out of the phase of, oh, that probably would be so much fun. Everybody else saying, always see it on TikTok. I wish my friends were fun like this and we would do this. I wish my friends were fun like that and they would do that. Girl, you don't even know if you like hiking. You wish you a hike. First time you go hiking, you complaining about the bugs, the heat. You don't like it, but you don't comment it on a girl TikTok two weeks ago with her friends hiking. Talk about something. I wish I had friends that did this. Your friends do too, but you don't do it. I'm just saying. Okay. Next, we are going to figure out a weekly reset routine. So after you've had your week has went by, how are you going to reset? I preferably reset on Sundays, but adjust it according to your schedule. My reset looks like me meal prepping. I prep for my meals for the week. This looks like me grocery shopping. This looks like me prepping my clothes for the week for work. Like what is your weekly reset? Like once you finally, okay, everything is done. What day of the week is this for you? And also, what does this look like for you? Like this is in your mind. And the reason I love this so much, and you're going to refine this. You're going to adjust this during this process. But the reason I love this so much is because it always reminds me, no matter what happened throughout the week, no matter if it was a stressful week, it was a good week, whatever the case may be, I know on Sunday, everything going to reset. So it's like I have an ability to literally achieve this thing again. If I didn't achieve it this week, I can achieve it next week. And so that's one thing I want you to do. Write down a weekly reset. And what are the things that you're going to do on that day of the week to reset your week? And the whole point of a weekly reset also is to prepare you for the week so you can achieve the goals, dreams, and aspirations that you want. Because it's going to be tiring getting that business started. It's going to be tiring going to the gym. It's going to be tiring going back to school, like all the things you want to do. But how are you going to help you help you? How are we going to prepare for that thing? Now, we are on phase three. This is going to be called amplify and measure. And this is the last 61 through 90 days. So this is in a sense of we did one and two. We already figured out who's our identity, the kind of things that we want to do. We've got rid of the things that hold us back. And now we're going to start amplifying those things. So this is going to look like steps as far as increasing the value, increasing the intensity, and increasing the consistency. So maybe in the beginning, you did start out your journey going to the gym two to three times a week, just to build that identity around it saying, I'm a woman that does this. I'm a person that does this. But now we're going to the gym four to five times a week. Maybe you did say, I'm journaling every two nights out of the week. Now we're journaling four to five nights out of the week. This is the time period that everybody's waiting for. This is a time period where you're really becoming the person that you want to be. And so for different people, it's going to be different things. But once you figured out the necessary steps and the necessary habits that you want to do to become the person that you want to be, and you've built the foundation for it, this is where you're going to amplify it. And it's really a to each its own. And that's why it's a little, I don't want to say hard to be specific, but I want to be a little bit more general because everyone's going to have different things. And at the end of this video, I am going to talk about a part two to this video because I know some people may be like, yeah, but like, I don't really know what I want to do. Like, I know I want to change my life. I know I want to start. But like going back to before, I don't know what I want to pick and I don't want to pick the wrong thing. And I don't want to, so I am going to start up, not start. I am going to create, sorry, a part two to this video in which I'm helping you figure out what things do you want to necessarily pick that are specific for you. But this video, I wanted it to help you figure out why you need to start your 90 day journey and what is it going to look like. Now, step two in this. So step one was you deepening your identity as far as figuring out the things you need to do, increasing the intensity, testing really your limits on things, right? I thought I could only, you know, drink this amount of water. Let me test it, right? In the beginning phases, like I said, it's just you literally being able to say, I did it. I am the kind of woman that does it. And then now we're going into you deepening it. Step two is I want you every single week to do journal prompts. Yes, they're coming again because I really want you to reflect during this time period. And I really want you to become aware. Awareness is one of the biggest things that you can do because when you're aware, you're able to make better choices that puts you in the direction that you want to be in. So the first journal prompt is going to be, where did I notice old habits creeping back? And how did I handle it? I know by the end of this 90 days, so many people are going to be like, I'm going to be a new person. I'm going to be completely different and I'm not going to be. You've been the same person for 20, 25, 30, 27, 32, all these years. It's going to take more than 90 days for you to completely, completely stop all the bad habits. But you also have to be honest with yourself and when are they creeping back? Because I always tell people to change. This is how you know your identity has changed. When you're faced with the same situation, the same kind of circumstance, but you handle it differently and you react to it differently. Because people think they change. Oh, I wake up at a different time. Oh, I go to sleep at a different time. Oh, I eat healthier. Yeah, because a lot of times too during these challenges, you never had nothing combat you. You never really had anything push you to go into the bad direction. You weren't offered to go to a party. You weren't offered no liquor because you ain't go out. You weren't offered. So you don't really know if that's your new identity. You're just doing the habits. And so eventually it's going to creep back and you know your identity has changed based on you handling it differently. You know your identity has changed when you're going through a situation with somebody and you're able to say, I used to deal with it like this, but now I deal with it like this. My perspective has changed on it. And it's not also, it's not only, I should say solely with just my actions. It's literally how I feel about this situation. Your identity has changed when you could wake up in the morning from at 6 a.m., 7 a.m. In the beginning, you're like, Oh, why do I have to do this? I don't want to do this, but I'm doing this for this challenge. I'm doing this because I want to be great. And then eventually you saying, you may not always want to do it, but you can say, you know what? I'm so thankful and I'm so grateful that I even could wake up. That's when your identity has changed. It hasn't changed just because you woke up, just because you did the habit. It changed when your mindset changed, when you handle the situation differently, physically and a lot of times more importantly, mentally. So every single week, because it's going to come up when these old thoughts, when these old things, habits creep back, how do you handle it? And it's not about you feeling bad or down. I should, you know, I wish I didn't do this. I literally, how did you handle it? And so you can start getting perspective as far as what you can do differently, but just being honest with yourself with that. So you know how to handle it differently the next time. The next one is how did my environment support me this week? And how did, or how did my environment take away from me this week? During the last 61 to 90 days, like I said, you're increasing your value on things. So yeah, in the beginning you told your friends, I'm going to the gym a little bit and it was cool. It was fine. Yeah, I'm not really going out too much or I'm adjusting this, whatever the case may be. You'll realize a lot of people are cool when you're at a certain level. Like once you, when you're at a certain cap, like they're like, oh, every, you know, two to three years, every year she says she's going to the gym. Every year she says she's starting a business. They're cool with that. But you'll notice people start reacting differently when you increase the intensity. They're used to you going to the gym two to three times a week for a little bit, couple of weeks at most. And it's stopping. They're used to you saying, hey, you're going to start a business. Oh, can you repost this? Can you repost that? Yeah, girl, whatever. And then you stopping. But they're not used to you going to the gym four to five times a week. They're not used to you going out with them and saying, hey, yeah, we could go out. I'm just not drinking. They're not used to you saying, hey, I'm so sorry, girl. I really wanted to go to your, um, you know, birthday this year, but I really got to invest in this business. I really got to, they're not used to that. And so you have to figure out how, now you're at the intensity, right? You're doing things in a way of the woman that you want to be because this is who you're going to be long-term, if not even greater. How has your environment, the people in your life, the even your environment itself, the things surrounding you, how have they supported you or how have they taken away with you? Even sometimes your environment can be your job. Sometimes too, when we eat healthy for a little bit and we're just doing little stuff, it seems cool. But then you're like, wait, my appetite increase. I need more protein. I need more fruits. I need more vegetables. And you're like, I can't really afford it. That's your environment. Is the job you're working, right? Is it not conducive to the life that you want to live? And so just figure out how and what ways has my environment supported me or how has it taken away from me? Because now you're doing things at the level, at the tier of the person that you truly want to be. We're no longer in a foundation. We're no longer in a test out phase. This is me. And does my life support this? Does my environment support this? Or does it not? And the final one is, what will I tweak for next week? So the next week is coming up. What are just some changes I would make? And this kind of goes off of the last two things. But what are just changes I make? Do I want to go to sleep at a different time? Do I want to wake up at a different time? Do I want to like, what are just some little changes that you want to tweak or different things that you want to make in your life for the next week that you think will give you better outcomes as far as being closer to the woman that you ultimately want to be? Now, step three, we are going to call this section the tracking and the receipts. First and foremost, you need some kind of visual way to track. Yes, all of these things are good to be a good person, but body dysmorphia is real. Life dysmorphia is real. Bank account dysmorphia is real. Like, and I can tell you that from personal experience. I have had been making a lot of money, you know, about five figures a month and still felt the same way when I was making four figures a month. That's a big, and when I say five figures, it might have been just at five figures. But when I'm saying four figures, it was right, right at four figures. I still felt the same. Why? Because I really didn't notice there was a difference. I didn't really notice the more money I had. I didn't really notice the new things I can do. So you need to have some kind of visual way to see the same thing with your body. So many people experience body dysmorphia. They'll go to the gym. They'll eat healthy. Their body literally will look different to everyone but themselves. And so we're visual creatures. We're visual people. There's nothing wrong with that. Have some way to help you visually. That's a savings tracker. Maybe one of your goals is to grow on social media. You want a following tracker, right? Your followers, your growth. You want visuals if you're going to the gym. Also, another thing too, measurements. I recommend to get like the fashion measuring ruler thing and literally measure your measurements because sometimes too you can go through body recomposition which means you may weigh around the same amount but your body looks different. And so you're telling yourself, I still weigh the same amount. I've only lost five pounds or I only gained five, ten pounds. Whatever the case may be. But you don't even notice your measurements are completely different. You look different. And so I definitely recommend having some visual way. We're visual creatures. And this is a way to keep receipts and just track and just let yourself know, hey, I'm not the same girl from day one. I'm not even the same girl from phase one. I'm, listen, I'm on phase three. I'm on day 87. I'm a completely different person but you also deserve to see that as well. And the final thing we need to worry about in this section is your feedback loops. We need to be worrying about your inputs and not always your outcomes. So your inputs are how many ounces of water are you drinking a day? How many times a week are you going to the gym? The things that you are doing. We are in the phase now where we are becoming that woman. We are becoming that person. Don't be so focused on, oh my gosh, is this, when is my body going to change? You've already had pictures. We've had savings. We have this. Also too, I don't want some people to become discouraged because you feel like you look too similar. Now don't get me wrong. I did say have visuals, have some kind of way of keeping receipts and accounts because I do definitely feel like for everybody there's a change that's going to happen but it's not going to be the most specific change for everyone depending on what you're doing. Different people have different incomes if they're saving. Different people have different body types. So many different things. And so you may have tracked visually one thing but then another thing you don't see no change in. As this 90 days comes to an end, you are going to be going into the new year. What does this mean? This means that you've already become the person that you want to be. So in 2026, you are going to get all the outcomes you want to but please at the end of this 90 day journey, focus on your inputs, have some way to track and I can create a worksheet for that as well. Tell me if you guys want that but have some way to track just to make sure you're doing the things to become the person that you want to become. You cannot achieve a goal if you are not doing the things to achieve that goal. Like it literally is not going to make any sense. If you're not eating healthy, if you're not going to the gym, you're not going to get your body together. But if you're so fixated on when is the body, when is the body, when is the body, it's also never going to happen either and you're going to stay stuck in the what? The potential phase. Now, I have talked about it before but for the next couple weeks in my videos, I want you to start figuring out what is this 90 days going to look like for you. So I do not expect you to start this 90 day right after the video. I actually expect you, well not expect you, if you want to do the challenge with me as well. And like I said, I am documenting my journey in a previous video. I said it on TikTok. So please go below and follow me, my link to TikTok. But essentially, I want you to, if you're following me, start it September 25th. No, September 24th. Sorry, I'm going to give you a specific date. I think it's September 24th to September 25th. But essentially, it's going to end if you do this 90 days on December 24th. So literally the day right before Christmas. The reason why I don't want you to start it today, the reason why I don't even want you to start it September 1st, a lot of people are doing that. And if you want to do that, you can. But I feel like you need to hone in on some of these things. And that's why in the next couple weeks, in every single week, please make sure you're following me. You stay updated with me. And also go below if you want to stay updated with the challenge. In the videos I post, please go below to sign up for my newsletter. I'm going to teach you how to create schedules. I'm going to teach you how to deal with burnout. I'm going to teach you, like I said, we're going to have a part two to this video. So you can figure out what are the specific identity, specific steps you need to take. Everybody wants to get their body together, their money, all these things. But that doesn't mean you have to do things everybody else is doing. And that doesn't mean you want that. Maybe in this point in your life right now, you're like, you know what? I really don't even want to focus on my body. I know that that's good and I want to be a little bit healthier. But I really want to focus on going back to school. I really want to start this business. Or maybe you're like, you know what? Like whatever the case may be for you, I was about to just go on a tangent and say a whole bunch of stuff. But nonetheless, that's what these couple of weeks are going to be. And so they're going to lead up to September 24th in which we're going to start our challenge. And this is because I want you to start it on a solid foundation. So many times we quit on ourselves. So many times we stop. Why? Because we didn't learn how to help us actually prepare for that thing. That's like you going to the gym, right? And just going to the gym, just willy nilly. You don't have no workout plan. You don't even know what areas on your body you're going to target. You don't even know how to stretch. And you're just like, I'm going to the gym. I'm getting my body together. That's what it's going to be like if you just decide to start this 90-day challenge without watching the videos leading up to it. You're going to do the incorrect workouts. You're going to target areas on your body that honestly aren't supposed to be targeting. You're going to probably strain yourself. You're going to mess up yourself so much so that you're going to convince yourself that you can never achieve your potential. You could never achieve the life that you want for yourself because there must be something wrong with you. But what's wrong with you is just you've never actually prepared for that thing. So please, please, please comment below if you like this video. Of course, like, comment and subscribe. And if you are joining, please comment 90 below. Comment 90 below if you're joining the challenge. And also, if you comment 90 below, I will send you the link when I create the part two to this video. So if you want the part two, you're like, I want to change my life. I just want to figure out how do I choose what's for me and get out of the whole fantasy life and get out of the whole potential phase and figure out what I need to do. Comment 90 below and I will send you the link to the video once I post it. Um, yeah, like I said, I did. That's why the background is different. Almost every video nowadays. I moved back home. I'm trying different places in people houses, my grandma house, my mama house, everybody house. So we're trying to figure out what looks the best. Yeah. Do y'all like this better or did y'all like the last video background better? Tell me below which one y'all like better. But anyways, I'm talking about my journey of moving back home. I start school September 1st. So I'm really excited about that. I told you guys I'm going back to school for my, um, sorry, for a degree in psychology with a concentration in mental health. So that's exciting. And just so many things are going on. So please follow me on TikTok because I'll update you guys on that journey. Please, if you want to be updated on the challenge, you want to be a part of the challenge, make sure you first and foremost, get the worksheet that will be below. I'll send you a link for that. Once you get the worksheet, you will also be signed up for the 90 day, um, email newsletter. But then if you also just want to be signed up for my regular newsletter, please also make sure that you sign up for that below. Every single Tuesday, I do come out with podcast episodes. So it comes out on Spotify, Apple podcasts, whatever you guys have. I know sometimes people are like, yeah, I'm not always on YouTube or yeah, I don't get updated when you post. Turn on your post notifications, but also you can follow my podcast below and anything, any other updates. I don't really post on Instagram. I know some people be asking about that. I don't really post on Instagram though. And I'm actually about to delete my Instagram when this 90 day journey start. That's a whole other thing for a whole other thing. But yeah, please, please, please follow me. Stay tuned for my videos. Thank you guys so much as always for the support. And we got this. By the time 2026 come, I'm telling y'all, we are going to be literally different whole people. Like it's not going to be a, when 2026 start, I'm going to change my life. When 2026 start, I'm going to lock in. No, 2026, you're just going to be eating the fruits of your labor. 2026, you're going to be flourishing the entire year. 2026, you're going to have the body already. You will have the necessary steps for the bank account already. And all you're going to do is reap the benefits of putting in the work now, locking in now. So please make sure you do that. Thank y'all so much and have a great one. Love y'all.