Crazy in Love - Kevin Bozeman - Dry Bar Comedy

You're afraid to love. You got to be, I mean, you got to be crazy to love someone. Seriously, to love another human being, you got to be a sociopath. There's nothing crazier than to love another human being. You don't believe me? Just listen to how people in love talk. It sounds crazy. I'll give you my heart, my mind, and my soul. Whoa, slow down greedy. You get one of the three. I would argue that love is more psychotic than the word psychotic. Like if you look on a crazy chart, it'd be like insanity, psychotic, love. Like love make you slash tires and burn down people's houses. Exhibit A. Love will make you send 20 unanswered text messages. And you so crazy, you respond to the last three yourself. You ever did something that nutty? Send a text, you're like, you're probably not responding because your battery died on your phone. You've probably been at a work meeting for like the last six days. That's why I never heard from you. Just anyway, I'll be at the bar down the street from your house. Let me know what's up. Love will make you sit in someone's bushes for four hours just to see them. She come walking past, you hop out. I just want to make sure you safe. Just want to make sure you safe, girl. You know the only reason why I'm not safe because you're in my bushes, right? Sitting there with cliff bar rappers everywhere, you psychopath. Well, you know how I feel about real sugar. I like the agave. That's how crazy people are. I just like the agave. I don't know. This is how crazy love is. Love is the only thing in life where it's not enough to just show a person that you love them. You understand what I'm saying? It's not enough to just show a person how you feel from day to day. Even if you do math, you have to show your work. But that's not good enough for love. You always have to constantly tell that person that you love them. Have a good day. Love you. Miss you so much. Love you. If you don't say you love them, you got real problems. Why don't you ever say you love me? Because we live together. I just kind of thought that was implied. I'm sitting here watching episodes of The Bachelorette eating gluten-free pasta, you raging lunatic. How do you not know that I love you? You think I did stuff like that when I was single? Really? Is that how you thought I lived my life? Boseman, what you up to tonight? Oh man, just chilling, watching The Bachelor, gnawing on raw quinoa. You know how I get down on Saturday night and get cray? You don't do that with anything else in life where you have to confirm what you're already doing. Nothing. It can be the simplest stuff. Hey man, you want to go play some football? Yeah, I'll go play some football just as long as some point When we playing football, you stop and tell me that we playing football. That's a little weird, but sure. Hey man, that was a great catch. Thanks. You know why that was a great catch? Because we playing football. You know how much that mean to me that you just said that right there? I mean, I knew he was doing something. There was people clearly trying to tackle me, but until you said we was playing football, I wasn't really sure we was playing football. But now that I know we playing football, you better believe I'm gonna be playing football with you every day. I'm gonna always be open for your passes. No more holding, no more pass interferences. Sometimes just gonna call your phone and be like hike, hike and hang up. Subscribe to Dry Bar Comedy for even more of the world's largest collection of clean comedy.