First Shot With Jennifer Anniston | Along Came Polly

Hi, Ruben. It's Polly Prince. Oh, hey, Polly. How's it going? Good. I'm just calling to say that, um, I'm free tomorrow night if you want to get together. Yeah, I would love to get together. That'd be great. Should I, um, should I pick a restaurant, or... Oh, no, no, no. You know what? I should probably just check my schedule, see if I can even do it. Okay. I'm... Did you say you were free? How about you... Yeah, no, I'm actually not sure. But okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye. Okay. Hello? Hello? One, two, three, and... What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening. What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happening. What's the buzz? Tell me what's a- Would you wanna know? Don't you mind about the future? Don't you try to think ahead? Uh, Sandy? Save tomorrow for tomorrow. Think about today instead. What? I'm playing Jesus. That's my song. I know it's your song, but I felt something, and I decided to go with it. But you're playing Judas. Judas. Alright, look, here's the deal. I'm the star of the show, okay? So if I decide to bust out a solo, do me a favor and give me the freedom to rock out. From the top, okay, Wonsek? So the play's going well? I think it's gonna be fun. I wish they wouldn't surround me with a bunch of amateurs. Uh-huh. Isn't that, like, the point of community theater? Whatever, Reuben. So I'm going on a date with Polly. Oh, right. Where are you taking her? Uh, I don't know, some restaurant in the East Village. She left the address on my machine. How could you let Polly pick the restaurant? Well, I had no choice. She called me, like, seven times to confirm, and then cancel, and then confirm again. Why? What's wrong with letting her pick the place? You got irritable bowel syndrome, too? If she shows an ethnic restaurant, you're gonna be running to the bathroom every five seconds. Oh, my God, you're right. Thank you. You know, I doubt it'll get this far, but if she turns out to be easier than I thought, there's something you need to know. I'm not a virgin, Sandy. No, not technically, but times have changed since your last single. Now, listen. When I'm making out with a girl for the first time, I like to give her a little spanking. What? Nothing violent. You just tap her real light, right on the tushie, and say, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy. Listen to me. What are you doing? I'm blotting the grease. That's the best part. Let me see that. Listen, don't be shy. It's just a little pat. It's like saying, I'm your daddy. I'm not gonna tap her. Brings them right back to childhood. Trust me. They'll putty in your hands after that. I gotta tell you, I'm really excited about this. Really, I feel like this could be one of those defining moments of my life or something. You know? Yeah, I actually think it's not gonna work out, but I'm pulling for your route. Go ahead. Pray to God she doesn't go ethnic. Place didn't sound ethnic. What was the name? Al Hafez. So, when did you live in Morocco? Oh, in the late 90s. I kind of bounced around to a bunch of different places over the past few years. Oh, yeah? Like where? Oh, God, where? Let's see. Austin, Istanbul, Sri Lanka, Portland, Costa Rica, Buffalo, a couple other places. Wow, were you in the Peace Corps? No, I just like to move a lot. I kind of get stir-crazy if I'm stuck in one place for too long, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, completely. No, remember, you were the person who broke... Oh, my God, I can't believe you remember that. Oh, of course. You were, like, the greatest delegate in Model U in history. I guess I did manage to pass a few resolutions. So... Are you okay? Because you're sweating pretty profusely. Yeah, no, I'm fine. I always react this way to spicy food. Okay. Yeah, but I love it. God, you know, I can't believe you're not married. I mean, even when we were kids, I always saw you as that guy that would settle down at a young age, you know? You were always kind of like an old, young guy. Yeah, well, it just hasn't happened. But, uh, what about you? You ever gotten close or...? Oh, to the whole marriage thing? Oh, God, no, no way. No, yeah, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not really big on the whole long-term commitment thing. Why? Are you coming out of a bad relationship? No, I'm kind of coming out of, like, eight bad relationships. Eight? You sure I can't get you a towel or something? No, no, I'm good. But, I mean, if the right person came along, things might be different, right? Oh, yeah. You're probably right. Um... Hey, you mind if I go to the men's room? Please. Sure. Oh, my gosh. I'm gonna be here all night, dude. All right, well, this is me. Why don't you go upstairs, and, uh, I'll make us some coffee or tea. Okay. Um... Just gotta find my keys here. Um, oh, shoot. Right there, I hear them. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, wow, this is great. It's so cozy. Thanks. Did you just move in, or...? No, I've been here about four months. Uh-huh. Ah! Rat! Rat in the house! Oh, no, no. This is Rodolfo. He's a ferret. I got him in Sicily at a flea market years ago. Oh, he's old. We can't really see anymore. Cute. Hey, you mind if I use your bathroom? Oh, sure. Yeah. Oh, actually, that's not the bathroom. My bathroom's right here. Oh. Okay, yeah, because I just, uh... Had a lot to drink, a lot of water. All right. I'll just be a second. Okay, take your time. Oh, no. Would you please, if you make this water go down, I will sit at your feet, and I will serve you for all of eternity. I'll adopt some Mayan kid, or I'll work in Calcutta, or I'll... I'll... Just make the water go down! No! No! No! No! No! This was fun. Yes. If I had known your grandmother had embroidered that towel, I would have never... Oh, really? You know what? That's okay. Okay. Well, good night, Polly. Good night, Reuben. Good night. Okay. All right. Okay.